7:00 pm - The evening usually begins with Doug, myself and either Ken or Chris as we make the trek to the fabled Campsite. We scout out the area, bitch about if the cops can see us or not from the road, clean up a little and set up a tent if anyone is planning to stay overnight, which is most of the time, but no one ever stays.
7:30 pm - After screwing around, urinating and checking on the beer every five minutes, someone will try to start the fire. We argue like bitches about who can do it and who can't, until finally we either collaborate or, more likely, someone gets pissed off and walks away into the woods.
8:00 pm - Who ever successfully starts the fire becomes "Fire Marshall" for about the next 20 minutes. It's supposed to be an all night thing, but people bitch and whine. Well, by now we've been sitting around wondering where the hell everyone else is. We make up little stories about what Frank may be doing with the Muppet, and talk about chicks that are supposed to show up later and how bad Joel will be tonight and blah blah blah. Someone else may show up during this period, but who it is is always a mystery. It's never Joel though. Possibly Ron or maybe even Liem. It all depends on who showed up first.
9:00 pm - Joel shows up with someone we don't want to hang out with and a lot of beer. Sometimes it is an annoying chick, sometimes a stupid hard-on of a guy. About now Joel has plans to get laid later and tries to set up his tent in the dark. No one helps him and he bitches like a woman on her rag. No one tells him that there's a flashlight in the other tent either. We quietly laugh about this around the fire.
9:30 pm - Beer. Ah, the beer flows... Joel will give up, saying his tent is good enough and he needs a beer. He also announces that tonight will be the night that he drinks a whole case. Ken has some kind of weird alcohol product we've never seen before, Joel has something BIG. It may be giant cans of beer, a mini keg or a big friggin' container of some premixed drink. By about this time most of the posse is here. Not Frank though. We'll get to Frank later. Ron will be bitching, Joel will have his seat, Doug will be looking into the fire, Chris will be wondering about chicks, I'll be wishing whoever came with Joel didn't come. No one quite knows what's going with Ken. He's a secret for the next hour or so. Who else may be here? Your guess is as good as mine. Justin the pot king, Melanie and it hasn't happened for a while, but maybe even Dahc.
10:00 pm - Mayhem. Everyone's dipped into the sauce and really loud (except maybe Ken). Ron is nearly passed out from his two beers and the only thing he can still do is call out "bitch!". Joel is still very greedy and uses many styles and techniques to down his beer, the big lush. Doug tries unsuccessfully to make moves on any chicks that showed up, Ken starts on his arc of drunkenness that begins with the Sugar Plum as a jolly fellow, but ends in depression and much gnashing of teeth (much like Joels dates). Chris is pretty wired and starts either talking about who he wants to dink, or just or just travels between people talking to them about whatever (lacrosse, Ron & ?????, Frank & the Muppet, internet girls...).
11:30 - Insanity. That's the only way to really get down and describe it. It's a scene from Hellraiser or something, except without most of the blood. People may be trapped in painful wrestling holds (Joel & Chris), or may have wandered away in depression (Ken) or anger and frustration(Me). There is no vomit yet though, thank God. That slip n' slide scenario comes later. You know who shows up? FRANK!! Yes, the Portugese man of war decides to bestow upon us his fishy presence. He only appears for a short while however, as he again leaves for pizza or liquids or wood or whatever other excuse he can think of. I have no clue where he actually goes most of the time.
� 1997 [email protected]
Get your own Free Home Page