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For Meaning and Value
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Words

Words seem so small at times.  Mere tricks of light. 
Wavering with shadows, full of doubt at the best of times. 
They hurt, they ache ripe with meaning right with trust. 
I don't know what they mean; only what I see. 
How can words cause so much, these mere tricks of light? 
I wonder, and watch as these fly about. 

Lies and truth.  Darkness and light?  Nay, I say. 
All words color the picture of life.
Mere tricks of light, or bits of thought,
I struggle to see what value is in these. 

No number of tears, no flights of fancy,
Nothing may seduce meaning from life.
Perhaps value and meaning are more subtle than these tricks of light. 
Perhaps they are more than these and less than these. 
I stumble about searching for words to explain these thoughts. 
I feel a bit of a fool, a verbal alcoholic.  Yet, I choose to try.

Meaning.  Value.  Life.  Do these things intersect?
Does one exist within the other?  Are they subsets of each other?
Spanked by life, I wonder. 
All my actions mean less than expected.
All my thoughts seem small and of no account at times.
Yet there are thoughts that free me and others that imprison me.

~~~

Perhaps I should be less introspective.  I don't think that I can be yet.
It seems that actions are measured by different sets of peoples.
Each set values different things.  Each set holds different standards.
Which standards should I choose?  Which standards best define me?
How can one individual take part in so many contradicting worlds? 
In so many contradicting planes?  It makes no sense to me.

Some hold that beer and caffeine are greatest.
Others that god, God, and religion is mightiest.
And still others hold that spanking is best.
I don't really understand any of these.
They all seem quite small to me. 
Why must they compete? 

Perhaps different perspectives meeting yield
war & strife, argument & pain, hurt & ache.
I struggle to satiate all pieces of me.
Which definition of me is really me?

Am I a mere slave of those about me?
Acting to please, a mere robot for others?
I wonder as I work, thinking quietly, hoping softly.
The desire, the hurt, the pain, the struggle.
They are all mine.  I love them all for their teachings.

I am but a student.  Learning at times, not at others.
I desire to know nothing and understand everything. 

Bye Huh Chuh @ huhchuh@yahoo.com © April 2002