What has your week been like? Has everything annoyed, irritated, frustrated, or angry? Has your life been completely devoid of conflict?
No? Then welcome to the human race! Parents can upset us. Friends may disturb us, and enemies persecute us. Inevitably we find ourselves in conflict with people.
Think of one conflict you’ve experienced during the past few days. Close your eyes for a moment and relive the scene. Was your approach fight, flight, or focus? Did you erupt into angry words that you later regretted? Or did you keep all the frustrations deep inside, hoping the conflict would disappear? Or did you face the problem squarely and deal with it?
Which of the following commandments for dealing with conflict did you keep? Which did you break?

Conflict Commandments
1. Thou shalt not fight with fist or with words.
2. Thou shalt not run away from the conflict or pretended that it doesn’t exist.
3. Thou shalt not blame the conflict on someone else or judge his or her motives.
4. Thou shalt not use absolutes such as “always” and “never” in describing the person’s behavior.
5. Thou shalt focus on the problem, not on the person.
6. Thou shalt not briefly describe specific behavior that’s bother you.
7. Thou shalt accurately describe effect that the behavior makes you feel. Don’t say it makes you furious when you’re only annoyed.
8. Thou shalt accurately tell the specific effect that the behavior has upon your life. Don’t confront someone just because your tastes are different.
9. Thou shalt refrain from telling the other person what he or she must do to help you solve the problem.
10. Thou shalt deal with only one conflict at a time. Don’t confuse the issue by recalling all the mistakes the person has made in the past.