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THE ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD
EPISODE THREE: ROBIN MEETS LITTLE JOHN
OPEN ON A SEA OF SKY BLUE:
A white fluffy cloud floats across the bright sky. Birds
flutter here and there, chirping their merry tunes.
EXT. SHERWOOD FOREST - DAY
Our view lowers and closes in on some treetops in a thick
English forest. We enter through the tree line and approach
two men. ROBIN OF LOCKSLEY (Chris Harmer) rides high upon
his steed. Dressed in forest green, the Saxon represents the
epitome of medieval manhood. Women lust to be with him for
just one night. Men envy his virility and his ability with a
bow and sword. But there is only one Robin. And it is this
one Robin who is destined to save the throne for its rightful
ruler, Richard, prisoner of Leopold of Austria.
Riding alongside Robin is his cousin, WILL SCARLETT (Simon
Pegg). Dressed from head to toe in red, Will has always
stuck by Robin. Through thick and thin, despite Robin's
penchant for not thinking fully ahead concerning his acts of
bravado, Will has been there to give support. Now the two
men are on the run from the greedy Prince John and his evil
right-hand man, Sir Guy of Gisbourne.
But the Normans are wrong in their treatment of the hard
working Saxons. Robin has decided to set things right. Will
has no other choice but to assist.
WILL
How will we get the word out to
Saxon men capable of helping us in
our struggle?
ROBIN
All we have to do is tell a few
people. They will tell a few
people. And before you know it,
every man able to wield a sword,
staff or bow will be by our side.
WILL
Oh, like the shampoo
advertisements.
ROBIN
Exactly.
(pause)
In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if
there were brave Saxons on their
way to us this very moment.
EXT. BURNED SAXON VILLAGE - DAY
Several huts have been burned. Smoke still rises from the
charred remains of what was once the homes of a peaceful
people. Exiting the horrible site are a COUPLE DOZEN
VILLAGERS. These tired people have been victims of more
horror overnight than most see in a lifetime. Those who
survived the beatings and carnage and were not dragged off to
Gisbourne's dungeon have gathered what they can to seek
shelter elsewhere.
VILLAGER ONE
Where can we go?
VILLAGER TWO
Someplace safe. Somewhere there
are no Normans wanting to do us
harm.
VILLAGER THREE
But where can that place be?
VILLAGER ONE
There is only on place... the heart
of Sherwood.
VILLAGER THREE
Yes, we shall go deep within the
forest, where the forces of Prince
John cannot find us.
VILLAGER TWO
Yes, deep into Sherwood. And to
the side of Robin of Locksley.
VILLAGER THREE
Robin of Locksley? That's the man
responsible for our suffering!
VILLAGER ONE
Just wait until I get my hands on
that lunatic Locksley! He'll pay
for making the Normans do this to
us.
EXT. SHERWOOD FOREST - A LITTLE LATER
Robin and Will have found a small river winding through the
thick woods. A small bridge has been erected to cross at
this point, just wide enough for a horse and rider. Robin
leads the way across.
As soon as the famed archer begins his journey over, ANOTHER
FIGURE (Vladimir Kulich) is spotted on the other side. He is
on foot, but his tall frame carries the same menacing power
as Robin's mount. Robin, Will and the stranger stop. Each
end of the bridge examines the other.
ROBIN
Oh my. That fellow is huge.
WILL
He's almost as tall as a horse.
Easily twenty hands high.
Robin looks over at his cousin.
ROBIN
Twenty hands? How high is a hand?
WILL
You know, a hand. It's a form of
measurement.
Will raises an open hand. He uses his index finger to point
at the span between the other index finger and his pinky.
ROBIN
That's a hand's measure? I thought
that was a span.
WILL
No, this is a span.
Will traces the distance between his pinky and the end of his
thumb.
ROBIN
Oh. About how much is that?
WILL
Just over fifteen centimeters, I
believe.
ROBIN
And a hand?
WILL
Just over ten centimeters.
Robin thinks for a moment.
ROBIN
Instead of this confusing hand-span
nonsense, why don't people just say
centimeters, or meters if it's a
larger number?
WILL
I don't know.
ROBIN
It's all rather silly, if you think
about it.
Robin looks back toward the man at the other end of the
bridge.
ROBIN
I think this man means to cross the
bridge.
WILL
Well, yeah, he's on it. Shall we
let him pass?
ROBIN
No, cousin, we were here first. It
is we who shall have the bridge.
Robin rides his horse forward. Will stays. The tall
stranger casually walks forward. They meet at the middle of
the bridge. Now up close, the man is even more fearsome.
His thick blonde mane tops a body of firm muscles covered by
a skin weathered by much time outside. He carries a full
staff -- a weapon quite lethal in the hands of someone
skilled in its use. Robin and the other man stare at each
other for a moment before the former speaks.
ROBIN
Hail there, stranger.
STRANGER
A good day to you.
ROBIN
What brings you into Sherwood?
STRANGER
I'm just going from one place to
the next. You?
ROBIN
The same.
(pause)
Say, would you mind if my friend
and I passed through? We have
places to go.
STRANGER
As do I.
ROBIN
Will you step aside so that we may
continue?
The tall man studies Robin for a moment.
STRANGER
I think not. It is you who will go
back so that I may continue.
Robin chortles.
ROBIN
No, dear sir, it is you who will
make room.
STRANGER
And how do you expect to make me do
that?
With lightning reflexes, Robin grabs his bow and strings an
arrow. He aims at the tall man's head.
ROBIN
Perhaps a sting from my arrow will
convince you?
STRANGER
That's hardly fair, using a bow
like that.
ROBIN
Of course it's not fair. That's
why I am using it. I have desire
to win.
STRANGER
But not to win with honor?
Robin furrows his brow, then lowers his bow.
ROBIN
Oh, I see your point.
He returns his weapon to his side.
ROBIN
Perhaps my sword?
STRANGER
Nay, I have but this staff.
ROBIN
But I don't have a staff.
STRANGER
You could make one. It's easy.
Just go back to one of those
birches back there and trim
yourself one from one of the
branches.
ROBIN
But if I did that, you'd have the
bridge and win without striking a
blow.
The stranger grins.
STRANGER
That would be a shame.
ROBIN
How in the world do you propose we
settle this?
CUT TO:
EXT. SHERWOOD FOREST - SEVERAL MOMENTS LATER
Robin has managed to dismount on this narrow bridge. He
stands before the stranger, whose height is magnified even
more when compared to that of the Saxon. Each man holds his
hands out before him, just above waist level.
ROBIN
Ready?
STRANGER
Ready.
ROBIN
One... two... three!
With the count, each man's right hand bounces up slightly,
then back down. On the third count, Robin holds his hand out
flat, palm down.
ROBIN
Shield!
On that same third count, the tall man holds his index and
middle finger out from his fist.
STRANGER
Bow!
The stranger smiles. Robin looks disappointed.
STRANGER
I win. I shall pass.
ROBIN
What do you mean? It's best two
out of three, sir.
STRANGER
Best two out of three? Since when?
ROBIN
What do you mean, since when? It
has always been best two out of
three. That is how we play Sword,
Shield and Bow here in Nottingham.
The stranger takes a deep breath, obviously disappointed.
STRANGER
All right, best two out of three.
The men hold their hands out again.
ROBIN
One... two... three!
On the third count both of the men hold a fist forward with
the thumb on top.
ROBIN AND STRANGER (TOGETHER)
Sword!
They withdraw their hands and go again.
ROBIN
One... two... three!
Robin throws down the same fist gesture.
ROBIN
Sword!
This time the tall blonde man holds his hand flat.
STRANGER
Shield!
The stranger smiles. Robin stomps his foot.
ROBIN
You have beaten me, my good man. I
must say that I have never seen
such prowess. You have earned this
bridge. Let me back me steed up.
Robin grabs the reins of his horse and guides the beast
backward, slowly making his way off of the narrow bridge.
Will, still atop his mount, is there to greet the two men.
He eyes the tall stranger with caution.
STRANGER
You have been a gentlemen about
this. Not many men would concede
in such a noble manner.
ROBIN
We Saxons are a noble people, good
sir.
(pause)
Let me introduce myself. I am
Robin of Locksley. And this is my
closest associate, Will Scarlett.
Robin and the tall man exchange wrist-held handshakes.
STRANGER
An honor. I am John Little.
WILL
John Little? Perhaps you should be
called John Not-So-Little.
ROBIN
Or better yet, Little John.
Robin giggles at what he feels is a good jest. Will and
their new tall friend eye him with uncertainty.
ROBIN
Tell us, Little John, what brings
you to Sherwood?
LITTLE JOHN
I hail from Northumberland. Once
it was a fine land, with good
people and happy lives. Under good
King Richard, we prospered.
(pause)
But once Richard left out shores
for his Crusade, the M�el Coluim
allied himself with his evil
brother. Northumberland, from
Blyth Valley to the Tyne, is a land
of oppression.
Little John brings his staff down hard on the ground.
LITTLE JOHN
I am journeying south to meet with
Prince John himself. I must
convince him that what he is doing
is wrong.
WILL
Good luck there.
LITTLE JOHN
What do you mean?
ROBIN
What he means is that Prince John
cares not about the well-being of
those in Northumberland. He only
cares about lining his pockets with
tax monies beaten from a kind
people who cannot fight back.
Little John again brings his staff down hard.
LITTLE JOHN
Then I will take care of this evil
man. I can fight back. His spine
shall snap by my hand.
ROBIN
So you are loyal to Richard?
LITTLE JOHN
I am.
ROBIN
So are we, good sir. And believe
me, you don't wish to face Prince
John alone. He is surrounded by
men just as evil. And they
outnumber you greatly.
The tall Little John thinks.
ROBIN
I'll tell you what, good sir. You
may join us. We, too, wish to
battle Prince John and rid his
tyranny from this land.
LITTLE JOHN
I shall be honored to join you.
Robin and Little John again exchange a wrist-held handshake.
INT. GISBOURNE CASTLE, HALLWAY
This wide hallway of large stone blocks is decorated with
banners hanging every six feet and a carpet rolled down the
center. Torches are mounted in sconces every twelve feet.
PRINCE JOHN (Ricky Gervais) and SIR GUY OF GISBOURNE (Ioan
Gruffudd) round a corner and approach a dark wooden door set
in the left wall. The greedy ruler knocks on the door.
PRINCE JOHN
Marian? Lady Marian?
He knocks on the door again.
PRINCE JOHN
Marian, it is I, Prince John. I am
here with Sir Guy.
The two men wait for a moment before Prince John knocks
again.
PRINCE JOHN
Lady Marian, there is some concern
that you are not feeling well. We
have not had the pleasure of your
company since that horrendous
disturbance yesterday. Are you
feeling well, my dear?
The ruler turns his ear to the door, hoping to hear a voice
from the other side.
INT. MARIAN'S CHAMBERS
We are in tight on just the face of MAID MARIAN (Asia
Argento). She brushes her hair back off of her face as she
looks tot he side.
MARIAN
I am well, Your Highness. I thank
you for your concern.
PRINCE JOHN (MUFFLED)
Will we have the pleasure of your
company at dinner, milady?
Marian pauses before responding.
MARIAN
I will see you at dinner, Your
Highness.
PRINCE JOHN (MUFFLED)
Splendid!
EXT. GISBOURNE CASTLE, HALLWAY
Prince John and Sir Guy walk away from the door.
PRINCE JOHN
I told you, Sir Guy, that all you
have to do is ask. You will soon
win the heart of the fair Marian.
SIR GUY
I do hope so, Your Highness.
PRINCE JOHN
And why not? You are a man of
stature. A man of importance.
(pause)
Besides, while Lady Marian is a
guest here, what else can she do
but share our company?
INT. MARIAN'S CHAMBERS
We open again on just Marian's face. We pull back until we
encompass the whole room, again in stone, with more banners
and a rug covering most of the floor -- typical period decor.
Marian, however, is dressed in anything but. She is adorned
in a black leather catsuit and high spiked heels.
She holds a cat-o-nine-tails in one hand. She returns
attention to her tall canopy bed. Shackled to the four
posters is a barely-clothed GAME WARDEN (Special guest star
Mike Myers). He has red welts upon his chest and is dripping
in sweat.
MARIAN
Did you think they were going to
rescue you?
Marian flicks her wrist. Her whip snaps.
WARDEN
No, mistress!
MARIAN
You don't want to be rescued, do
you?
Marian snaps the whip again.
WARDEN
Oh, no, mistress!
Marian edges up on the bed and stares down at the helpless
warden.
MARIAN
Now, where were we before we were
so rudely interrupted?
EXT. SHERWOOD FOREST - A LITTLE LATER IN THE DAY
Robin, Will and Little John are resting beneath the cover of
a very large oak tree. Will pokes at a fire. A few birds,
victims of Robin's deadly bow, roast over it.
WILL
You know, Robin, we're going to
have to get the word out quickly to
the villages if we want good men by
our side. I'm sure Prince John and
Sir Guy have all sorts of men
scouring the countryside for us.
ROBIN
Certainly, cousin, certainly. We
shall have the support of our Saxon
brethren soon enough.
(pause)
Is dinner ready yet? I am
famished!
Will examines the roasting birds.
WILL
I think it'll be only...
Will stops as he notices some movement away from camp. He
stands and grabs his sword. John rises quickly to his feet
and readies his staff. Robin is more casual in his
attention. With the help of the oak trunk, he slowly gets up
and grabs his bow and an arrow.
We turn and look at what the three men see. DOZENS OF
VILLAGERS are approaching. They appear extremely tired and
haggard. Will holds up his hand as they draw near.
WILL
Greetings, fair people! What
brings you into the heart of
Sherwood?
One of the villagers, a WOUNDED MAN using a crutch to support
an injured leg, steps forward.
WOUNDED MAN
We are fleeing our homes, sir. The
Normans have burned our village to
the ground.
WILL
Oh, that is awful. Are they
completely destroyed?
WOUNDED MAN
If we lived in Malibu we'd be
better off. We'd at least have the
sun and a nice beach to frolic on.
WILL
Come, friends, take shelter with
us. We are foes of the Normans and
will do what we can to keep you
safe.
WOUNDED MAN
Thank you, thank you.
WILL
I was just discussing with Robin
here about...
The injured villager straightens his stance. Villagers
behind him have taken notice of what Will just said.
WOUNDED MAN
Did you say "Robin"?
WILL
Yes I did.
WOUNDED MAN
Robin of Locksley?
Robin smiles. He sticks out his chest with pride and steps
forward.
ROBIN
Yes, I am Robin of Locksley. Have
you heard of me?
The villagers become agitated.
VILLAGER ONE
It's him!
VILLAGER TWO
It's the one responsible for our
suffering!
VILLAGER THREE
Get him!
The villagers begin to step forward. They hold various
makeshift weapons -- rakes, walking sticks, even rocks and
tree branches.
WOUNDED MAN
You shall pay for what we have been
through, Robin!
Robin's eyes open wide. He steps back. Will and Little John
take a defensive stance.
WILL
What is the meaning of this? We
are friends!
WOUNDED MAN
It's because of Robin that we were
forced from our homes. It's
because of Robin that we were
beaten. It's because of Robin that
our women were assaulted. We never
meant anyone harm, but Robin has
brought the wrath of Prince John
down upon us. For this, Robin must
pay the consequences!
The villagers shout in agreement. They continue forward.
Will turns his head to speak with his cousin.
WILL
I told you about the consequences
of your actions. What do you plan
on doing now?
Robin thinks for a moment. His face then brightens, as if he
has figured out the solution to his impending problem. Robin
sets his bow down and scampers up the trunk of the mighty
oak. With lightning agility he makes it to a large lower
branch and steps out onto it. He waves his hands.
ROBIN
Hail, good Saxons!
The villagers stop. They look up at the treed noble and
growl foul words.
ROBIN
Hear me! Hear me!
The noise from the villagers quiets.
ROBIN
I know that you have suffered
greatly. For all of your lives,
the Normans have treated you
unfairly. These new assaults are
only the latest. They will
continue to come.
(pause)
Apparently I have been made the
scapegoat of these horrible events.
But I assure you, my friends, that
it is not I whom you should be
angry with, but the Normans
themselves. And I speak most
especially of Prince John and Sir
Guy!
The villagers have settled. Many mutter agreements to
Robin's speech.
ROBIN
I tell you this, good Saxons. If
you are loyal to King Richard and
wish to see him return to his
rightful place on England's throne,
then you shall follow me.
The villagers' agreements increase.
ROBIN
Prince John plans on keeping his
brother locked up in Austria. He
plans on keeping his ghastly tax
collectors at work stocking his own
coffers, not saving for the ransom
of good Richard!
(pause)
If you band with us, we shall
become a formidable force. We
shall gather all those across the
land tired of Prince John's tyranny
and put an end to it.
The villagers are getting excited.
ROBIN
What do you say? Will you join me?
Will you fight the Normans and
return the land to Richard and the
good people who deserve to live
free?
The villagers shout with vigor. Robin's words have energized
their weary bodies and souls.
ROBIN
Come, let us make camp and tend to
the wounded. Tomorrow we ride out
to the shires and gather a force...
a force worthy of defeating Prince
John and his evil reign of terror!
The villagers continue to shout. Robin makes his way off of
the oak branch. He approaches Will.
WILL
That was a close one.
ROBIN
You said it. Come on, let's get
these folks settled. I have a
feeling that we're going to need
all the rest that we can get for
what's to come.
We pull back as we see the villagers find various spots among
the trees to rest.
FADE TO BLACK.
END OF EPISODE.
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Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.