Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.

[ bottom ]
                               THE ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD

                          EPISODE TWO: ROBIN FLEES INTO SHERWOOD


               OPEN ON BLACK:

               TITLE IN WHITE:

                                       LAST WEEK ON
                               THE ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD

               FADE IN:


               INT. GISBOURNE CASTLE, GRAND ROOM

               The assembly of NUMEROUS NORMAN NOBLES has not returned to
               its dinner.  The intrusion by SIR ROBIN OF LOCKSLEY (Chris
               Harmer), a brash Saxon, has raised the ire of most of the
               knights present.  Included at the head of the room, sitting
               behind a table raised above the others, are the domineering
               PRINCE JOHN (Ricky Gervais), the sneering SIR GUY OF
               GISBOURNE (Ioan Gruffudd) and the provocative MAID MARIAN
               (Asia Argento).

               Robin has taken a seat at a table facing the head table.  He
               chews on a charred piece of meat as the brother of England's
               King Richard stands and makes his announcement.

                                   PRINCE JOHN
                         As all of you know, my brother is a
                         prisoner of Leopold of Austria. 
                         I'm having trouble collecting the
                         ransom.  So, starting immediately,
                         I need to double the tax rate.  And
                         the money is to be turned over to
                         me.

               Prince John returns to his seat.

                                   ROBIN
                         Why you, Your Highness?  King
                         Richard appointed a Regent before
                         he left for the Crusades.

                                   PRINCE JOHN
                         Yes, I am aware of that.  But I've
                         decided that I'm now Regent of
                         England.  I shall rule until my
                         dear brother's return.

               There is a murmur among the dining guests.  Robin raises an
               eyebrow at the announcement.  Even Sir Guy and Marian are
               surprised.

               We pull back to cover the entire grand room.  The murmuring
               continues.  At a distance behind Robin, we see SEVERAL GUARDS
               sneaking toward him.

                                                         FADE TO BLACK.

               FADE IN:



               INT. GISBOURNE CASTLE, GRAND ROOM

               The murmurs continue.  Robin now chews on a well-done leg of
               mutton.  He seems oblivious to the danger approaching him
               from behind.

                                   PRINCE JOHN
                         What are all of you gobbling at? 
                         Is it so strange that I decide to
                         rule while my brother is a
                         prisoner?  Who's to say that I
                         shouldn't?

               The prince looks at one of the nearby tables.

                                   PRINCE JOHN
                         Do you disagree with me, Sir
                         Mortimer?

               The question surprises SIR MORTIMER, a raven-haired knight
               with a goatee, but he knows there is only one way to answer
               and remain in the favor of the prince.

                                   SIR MORTIMER
                         Not I, Your Highness.

               Prince John looks over at another table.

                                   PRINCE JOHN
                         You, Sir Percy?

               The tall SIR PERCY shakes his head.

                                   SIR PERCY
                         Nor I, Your Highness.

               The prince then looks at a noble seated at the same table as
               Robin.

                                   PRINCE JOHN
                         What say you, Sir Render?

               The moustached SIR RENDER stands.

                                   SIR RENDER (IN AN OVERDONE FRENCH
                                   ACCENT)
                         I shall do whatever you command,
                         Your Highness.

               Prince John gives a wicked smile, almost as if he were a cat
               about to eat a caged canary.

                                   PRINCE JOHN
                         And what about our young Saxon
                         cockerel here?

               Robin looks up at the prince, then spits out a mouthful of
               mutton.  It lands in the wine chalice of Sir Render.  Render
               opens his mouth wide, astounded at the act.  He grabs the
               container and looks down in it.  He is about to say
               something, but decides against it.  He places the chalice
               back on the table.

                                   PRINCE JOHN
                         What's the matter, Sir Robin?  Have
                         you no stomach for honest meat?

                                   ROBIN
                         For honest meat, sure.  But I have
                         no stomach for traitors.

               The prince raises an eyebrow.

                                   PRINCE JOHN
                         You call me a traitor?

                                   ROBIN
                         You betcha.  And every man here who
                         offers you allegiance.  Plus the
                         tailor who told you black is
                         slimming.  It isn't working, Your
                         Highness.

               Prince John looks at the dark top beneath his robe.  He rubs
               the cloth down his stomach.

               Most of the knights who were seated rise in response to
               Robin's comment.  The noblemen at Robin's table all leave. 
               Robin looks back and forth.  He sniffs at his armpits,
               shrugs, then returns his attention to the prince.

                                   ROBIN
                         What else would you call a man who
                         takes advantage of the king's
                         misfortune to seize his power?

               The volume of Robin's voice increases.

                                   ROBIN
                         And now, with this faithless band
                         of cutthroats, you'll try to grind
                         a ransom for him out of every
                         helpless Saxon.

               The guards behind Robin draw closer.

                                   ROBIN
                         The ransom will be used, not to
                         release Richard, but to buy your
                         way to the throne.
                             (pause)
                         And I wouldn't be surprised if Sir
                         Guy raised the prices at the
                         Gisbourne Castle gift shop.  A T
                         shirt with "My parents went to
                         Nottingham and all I got was this
                         stupid shirt" for 2 gold marks is
                         already overpriced.

               Sir Guy slams his fist down on his table and stands.

                                   SIR GUY
                         Let me ram those words down his
                         throat, Your Highness!

               The prince waves the angry noble down.  Sir Guy sits,
               grinding his teeth.

                                   PRINCE JOHN
                         What, Sir Robin, do you propose to
                         do?

               Robin gestures with the leg of mutton.

                                   ROBIN
                         I'll organize revolt.  Exact a
                         death for a death.  I'll never rest
                         until all Saxons can stand as free
                         men and strike a blow for King
                         Richard.

                                   PRINCE JOHN
                         Is that it?

                                   ROBIN
                         Hardly.  I also plan on organizing
                         a boycott of all Norman gift
                         outlets throughout the shire. 
                         You'll be up to your eyeballs in
                         stag antler ball caps and lancing
                         knight snow globes.

               Prince John stands and looks at the guards behind Robin.

                                   PRINCE JOHN
                         That's enough!  Take him!  Take him
                         now!

               The guards jump forward and grab at Robin.  The brave Saxon
               swings at the many hands with his mutton.  With a cat-like
               spring Robin leaps upon the table.  The guards push the
               chairs aside so they can reach him.

                                   PRINCE JOHN
                         I said take him!

               The guards step forward.  Robin crouches, then springs above
               their heads, turning a somersault at the peak of his jump. 
               He lands and draws his sword in a perfectly fluid motion.

                                   PRINCE JOHN
                         Why doesn't anyone get him, Sir
                         Guy?  Do you hire nothing but
                         imbeciles?

                                   SIR GUY
                         I'll take matters into my own
                         hands, Your Highness!

               Sir Guy jumps up, draws his sword and runs around the table. 
               At the room's center, Robin lashes out with his sword in one
               hand and parries attacks from the guards with his mutton leg
               in the other.

               Back at the head table, Marian licks her lips at the melee
               before her.  She seems aroused by the trouble at hand.

               Sir Guy has rounded the table and is charging at Robin, who
               is surrounded by several guards.  Robin is defending himself
               well against the sluggish sentinels.  He slowly backs up.

               Sir Guy's eyes are round with fury as he holds his sword
               forward.  All but the skewering of Robin has escaped his
               mind.

               Robin has made it to the tall stone wall at the far side of
               the grand room. 
               His leg of mutton is nearly bone now as he continues to fend
               off the assault of Sir Guy's guards.  Robin is tiring the
               other men tremendously.

               Sir Guy is nearly upon the fray, sword aiming forward.  His
               eyes grow red with rage.

               Robin spots the oncoming Norman noble.  He looks to his side,
               where a rope is tethered to the wall.  Robin throws his
               mutton bone at the guards, knocking two of them back.  He
               grabs the rope with his free hand and slashes beneath with
               his sword.  Robin is propelled upward as the iron chandelier
               attached to the rope falls down.

               At the same time, Guy has reached the group.  He looks up in
               awe as Robin rises.  He does not stop moving forward, though. 
               His sword runs through one guard, then another.  As the
               guards cry out in pain, everyone looks as Robin reaches a
               high balcony overlooking the room.  He releases the rope. 
               The chandelier crashes to the stone floor.  Robin lands on
               the balcony, turns and smiles at the gathering below.

                                   ROBIN
                         I'm afraid that I must be going. 
                         Thank you so much for your
                         hospitality!

               Robin makes a quick bow.  He looks over at Marian.  From his
               view, we can see down the lady's dress.  Robin's smile
               broadens as he spies Marian's ample cleavage.

                                   ROBIN
                         Hubba hubba!

               With a wink at the glaring woman, Robin heads down the
               hallway.



               EXT. GISBOURNE CASTLE, ENTRANCE - EVENING

               The tall stone structure is decorated with numerous flags. 
               Wide stone steps lead up to the castle's entry.  WILL
               SCARLETT (Simon Pegg), dressed in bright red from cloth hat
               down to his leather boots, is mounted on a pale horse.  He
               holds the reigns for Robin's mount.  Will seems impatient.

                                   WILL (UNDER HIS BREATH)
                         Oh, I'll just be a moment.
                             (pause)
                         Wait here, I'll be right back.
                             (pause)
                         Yeah, right.

               Will sighs.

               We pan up.  Robin has made his way to the top of the forward
               battlement.  He looks down at Will and the horses, many many
               feet below.  He steps to the edge and springs into a dive.

               He falls, twisting and flipping with the grace and precision
               of Greg Louganis.  Upon the last flip, Robin falls into the
               saddle of his horse.  Will is startled as the other man's
               horse neighs.

                                   ROBIN
                         Let's go, cousin.  I don't think
                         that we are wanted here any longer!

               Robin stirs his horse into motion.  Will sits in awe for a
               moment, not sure of what just happened.  He finally snaps to,
               prodding his horse to a gallop after Robin.



               EXT. EDWINSTOWE VILLAGE - NIGHT

               This impoverished Saxon village is nestled among numerous
               trees.  Most of the buildings are of sod and straw.  Two
               stone structures exist in the small town -- the local inn at
               the village's entrance and the steepled church on top of the
               center hill.

               Robin and Will take their horses in slowly.  Both seem tired
               from their travel.  They head toward the inn.

                                   WILL
                         Forget a mug of ale.  I need a bed.

                                   ROBIN
                         Aye.  Fighting Guy's men took the
                         wind out of me.
                             (pause)
                         By the way, do you have a couple
                         coins that I can borrow?  I'm
                         running short the cost of a bed.

                                   WILL
                         I already loaned you money for that
                         chicken you bought earlier.  And
                         you still owe me for that
                         fletcher's bill when your forgot
                         your coin purse.

                                   ROBIN
                         I didn't pay you back for that?

                                   WILL
                         No.  Besides, aren't you the son of
                         a wealthy nobleman? 
                         Why must you borrow money from me
                         when you have a rich father?

               Robin cranes his neck back and forth.

                                   ROBIN
                         Well, my father isn't here.  And,
                         to be honest, cousin, my dear
                         father and I aren't exactly on
                         speaking terms.

               Will takes a deep breath.

                                   WILL
                         What did you do this time?

                                   ROBIN
                         Me?  Why must it be my fault?

                                   WILL
                         Because it probably is.  I'm just
                         playing the odds.

                                   ROBIN
                         That doesn't make sense.

                                   WILL
                         It doesn't?
                             (pause)
                         What about the time you emptied
                         your father's kitchen to feed the
                         villagers down at Crown's Point?

                                   ROBIN
                         They were hungry.  They deserved a
                         meal.

                                   WILL
                         Sure.  But your father was hosting
                         a party for the visiting elders
                         from Yorkshire.  You can see how he
                         would be pissed at your actions.

               Robin puffs.

                                   WILL
                         And remember when you took your
                         father's carriage for the Harvest
                         Ball?

                                   ROBIN
                         Oh, I most certainly do.  I took
                         young Lady Shelby Mansfield. 
                         I'm not one to kiss and tell, but
                         let's just say that I was most
                         grateful that dear father's
                         carriage had plenty of leg room.

               Robin gives a sly grin.

                                   WILL
                         But you took the carriage without
                         asking.

                                   ROBIN
                         I needed it.  Shelby lived in
                         Lincolnshire.  I certainly wasn't
                         going to have her walk all that
                         way.

                                   WILL
                         Yes, but your father was going to
                         the ball, too, with your mother.

                                   ROBIN
                         My stepmother.  And they weren't
                         married yet, just dating.

                                   WILL
                         Your stepmother.  Whatever.
                             (pause)
                         But you left him unprepared.  All
                         of the local rentals were spoken
                         for.  Your father had to take her
                         to the festivities on a cart.  A
                         smelly, cold, uncomfortable cart.

                                   ROBIN
                         He didn't have to go.

                                   WILL
                         Of course he had to go!  He was one
                         of the nobles hosting the event!

               Robin seems oblivious to what Will is explaining.

                                   WILL
                         Face it, dear Robin, you can be a
                         tad irresponsible.  Sure, you have
                         a heart.  A large heart.  But you
                         don't always think your actions
                         through.  You forget that they have
                         consequences.

                                   ROBIN
                         If I wanted a lecture, I'd be at
                         home now with my father.

                                   WILL
                         And perhaps you should be!  But no,
                         you spent your life incurring your
                         father's ire.  And you managed to
                         infuriate every authority figure
                         that you've come across.

                                   ROBIN
                         Ease thy tongue, cousin.  I just
                         call them as I see them.

                                   WILL
                         Sure.  And look where it's got you. 
                         You're on the run from bloody
                         Prince John.  And you know Sir
                         Guy's rounding up five score of his
                         men to hunt you down.

                                   ROBIN
                         Sir Guy is in desperate need of
                         therapy.

                                   WILL
                         And, what's worse, you've dragged
                         me into this.  Just being seen with
                         you has branded me an outlaw.

               Robin stretches over and pats Will on the shoulder.

                                   ROBIN
                         Who better to be on the run with? 
                         Besides, I don't consider us to be
                         outlaws.  That implies that we are
                         outside of the law.

                                   WILL
                         But...

                                   ROBIN
                         No!  When the law is unjust, when
                         decent people are forced to suffer,
                         when honest men must do dishonest
                         things in order to survive, I say
                         that there is no true law!

               Will looks at the other man, but has given up for the night. 
               The two stop at a water trough at the front of the inn. 
               Robin glances over at Will.

                                   ROBIN
                         So, what be it on that loan,
                         cousin?



               INT. EDWINSTOWE INN, BEDROOM - A BIT LATER

               A small fireplace provides light in this modest rented room. 
               We open on Robin's face and upper body.  He lies on his right
               side, nestled under a thick set of quilted blankets.  A smile
               indicates that he is comfortable.

                                   ROBIN
                         Ah!  A cozy bed is one of God's
                         simple, but choice gifts.  Nothing
                         can best my own furnishings at
                         home, but this bed is a true
                         comfort after a long day.  What say
                         you, cousin?

               We pan over Robin's body.  We see that Will is in the same
               bed, facing the other way.  He is terribly close to the edge
               and does not seem to have the quilt coverage as the other
               man.

                                   WILL
                         I say first thing in the morn we
                         send word to your father for some
                         coins for expenses.

                                   ROBIN
                         My father?  I think not.

                                   WILL
                         True, you have fallen from his
                         favor.  But surely he would not let
                         you starve.  You're his son.

                                   ROBIN
                         I'm afraid he would.

                                   WILL
                         What makes you think that?

                                   ROBIN
                         When I last saw him and asked for
                         some coin, he told me "I'd rather
                         see you starve, you ungrateful
                         son."

                                   WILL
                         Oh my.

                                   ROBIN
                         Do not worry, dear cousin.  We
                         shall find a way. 
                         In the mean time, your purse will
                         have to suffice.

                                   WILL
                         My purse?

                                   ROBIN
                         Until we figure out how we shall
                         fund our endeavors against Prince
                         John, we will have to survive on
                         your coins.

               Will reaches down to the floor where his boots rest.  He
               sticks his hand into one of them and pulls out a small red
               leather coin purse.  It is thin, but a few coins remain. 
               Will looks in Robin's direction out of the corner of his eye,
               then sticks the purse back into the boot.

                                   ROBIN
                         Good night, cousin.

                                   WILL
                         Good night.



               INT. EDWINSTOWE INN, DOWNSTAIRS - THE NEXT MORNING

               Will scratches his head and yawns as he makes his way down
               the staircase.  He looks over to the small dining section,
               where a half dozen tables are set up in front of a short bar. 
               Seated at one of the tables is Robin.  Upon the table are
               several empty serving platters.  Robin is finishing the meat
               off of a chicken leg when he spots his cousin.

                                   ROBIN
                         Ah, good morning to you!

               Will makes it to the bottom of the stairs and approaches
               Robin.

                                   ROBIN
                         We have a long day before us.  I
                         thought that it would be prudent to
                         gain sustenance before we headed
                         away.

                                   WILL
                         Yes, good idea.  However, unless I
                         find my coin purse, I will not be
                         able to...

               Will notices something.  We close in on the corner of Robin's
               table.  Will's purse has been set there.  Will grabs it and
               feels for coins inside.

                                   ROBIN
                         There is no need to search for your
                         coin purse.  I borrowed it to pay
                         for breakfast.  

                                   WILL
                         It's empty.

                                   ROBIN
                         Yes, I am afraid so.  It's amazing
                         how little you may purchase these
                         days for a few coins.

               Will looks at the tabletop.  No food remains on the platters.

                                   WILL
                         Did you leave anything for me?

               Robin looks at the plates as he sets his chicken bone down.

                                   ROBIN
                         Oh my, I suppose you slept too
                         late, cousin.  Perhaps tomorrow you
                         will rise in time for breakfast.

                                   WILL
                         But you spent the last of my money.

               Robin brushes his hands together to remove crumbs.  He rises.

                                   ROBIN
                         Have no fear.  I have a plan.



               EXT. EDWINSTOWE INN

               The sun is peeking over the treetops to the east.  VILLAGERS
               of various sorts walk to and fro on their daily business. 
               All of them are avoiding the front of the inn, however.  Next
               to the tethered horses belonging to Robin and Will are three
               men -- THE SHERIFF OF NOTTINGHAM (Rowan Atkinson), dressed in
               light armor and a black cape, and TWO WELL-EQUIPPED DEPUTIES. 
               The deputies remain mounted while the Sheriff stands near the
               horses belonging to our heroes.  He is writing on a small pad
               of parchment with a feathered pen. 

                                   SHERIFF
                         Illegal overnight parking, check.
                             (pause)
                         Failure to register horse at
                         Sheriff's station, check.
                             (pause)
                         Improper use of...

                                   ROBIN (O.C.)
                         What?  Improper use of horseshoes?

               We pan over.  Robin and Will have left the inn.

                                   ROBIN
                         Or perhaps you can devise some
                         other equally foolish charge?

               The Sheriff looks up at Robin and scoffs.

                                   SHERIFF
                         Ah, a Saxon.  As I figured.

                                   ROBIN
                         My my my.  Aren't you a genius?  A
                         Saxon staying overnight in a Saxon
                         inn at a Saxon village.  You're a
                         credit to your profession, my dear
                         sir. 

               The Sheriff is flabbergasted.

                                   SHERIFF
                         How... how dare you!  Do you have
                         any idea who I am?

                                   ROBIN
                         Certainly.  You're the buffoon who
                         wishes to tax me for some offenses
                         so minor that they aren't worth the
                         parchment you scribe them on.

                                   SHERIFF
                         Buffoon?  Buffoon?!  I'll have you
                         know, you Saxon dog, that I am the
                         Sheriff of this shire.  I am the
                         keeper of the law.  If I say that
                         these offenses have worth, they
                         have worth!

               Robin shrugs.

                                   ROBIN
                         I won't pay the charges.

                                   SHERIFF
                         I say you shall!

                                   ROBIN
                         Nope.  Not going to happen.

                                   SHERIFF
                         You shall or I will have my
                         deputies take you to Sir Guy's
                         dungeon.  It is full of Saxon
                         scofflaws like you.  You'll beg to
                         pay these charges!

               The Sheriff's deputies place their hands on their sword
               hilts, awaiting the command of their superior.  Robin gives a
               sly smile.  Will is noticeably nervous.

               To Robin's right, conveniently leaning against the exterior
               of the inn, is a tall broom.  Robin looks out of the corner
               of his eye, then up to gauge the sturdy deputies.

               Within the blink of an eye, Robin grabs the broom and steps
               toward the mounted deputies.  He springs up.  The Saxon noble
               executes a somersault at the peek of his jump, quickly
               followed by bringing the broom in parallel to the ground. 
               The deputies are fully taken by surprise.  Robin forces the
               broom across the throats of the two men, knocking them back
               off of their steeds.  Robin lands firmly on his feet and
               turns around.  The two deputies, after doing their best to
               gain balance, can only manage to fall back to the ground. 
               Robin grimaces.

                                   ROBIN
                         Ouch!  That must have hurt!

               Robin brings the broom down across his knee, breaking it in
               half.  He hops forward and begins to pummel the downed men
               with the miniature staves.  The deputies are defenseless
               against the assault of the skilled Robin.

               The Sheriff is dumbfounded.  He struggles for words.

                                   SHERIFF
                         I... I say there... Stop right this
                         second or I... I...

               Robin, now through with the deputies, steps toward the
               Sheriff.  Our hero places the end of a broomstick under the
               Sheriff's chin.

                                   ROBIN
                         Or you'll what?  Write me another
                         ticket?  Have me taken to the
                         dungeon of that louse Gisbourne?

                                   SHERIFF
                         This isn't right.  I am only
                         enforcing...

                                   ROBIN
                         You aren't enforcing squat.  You
                         merely devise these offenses on a
                         whim in order to promote calamity
                         on a good, decent people.
                             (pause)
                         But I am putting an end to all of
                         that.

                                   SHERIFF
                         Who... who are you?

               Robin removes the stick from the Sheriff's chin, steps back
               and places both hands on his hips.  He strikes a heroic pose.

                                   ROBIN
                         I am Robin of Locksley.  And this,
                         you foul cur...

               Robin waves his hand toward Will.  Will is anxious about what
               his cousin is about to do.

                                   WILL (UNDER HIS BREATH)
                         Don't say my name.  Don't say my
                         name.

                                   ROBIN
                         ...is Will Scarlett!

                                   WILL (UNDER HIS BREATH)
                         Swell.

                                   ROBIN
                         He is a far better man than thou,
                         you fiend.  He proudly rides with
                         me, fighting the evil wrought by
                         you, Prince John and his lap dog
                         Sir Guy.

               Will takes a step toward Robin.

                                   WILL
                         Pardon me, Robin, but I think that
                         you've said enough.

               Robin thinks for a moment, then nods.

                                   ROBIN
                         You are correct.  We shall trouble
                         ourselves no more with this
                         featherbrain.  We have places to
                         go.  Crimes against the Saxon
                         people to avenge.

               Robin throws the broomstick halves at the Sheriff's feet. 
               The lawman jumps a little in reaction.

                                   ROBIN
                         Come, cousin.  We ride!

               Robin releases the reins from the post in front of the inn. 
               He jumps with a cat-like bounce up onto his horse, then looks
               down at the Sheriff.

                                   ROBIN
                         Farewell, Sheriff.  I'm afraid that
                         if we meet again, I will not be
                         able to control the fury that is
                         about to puncture the shell of my
                         heart.

               Robin looks over to Will, who is still on the ground.

                                   ROBIN
                         Let us make haste, cousin!

               Robin turns his horse and stirs it into a gallop away from
               the inn.  Will, now alone with the three lawmen, tears at his
               collar.  The Sheriff gives him a unfavorable look.  Will
               quickly unties his mount and gets on.  He heads in the same
               direction that Robin had taken.



               INT. GISBOURNE CASTLE - DAY

               Prince John sits at a large wooden table in front of a
               roaring fire.  Sir Guy stirs at the logs within the large
               fireplace, poking at the wood as if it were a Saxon prisoner. 
               Prince John is signing a set of parchments.  He sets his
               quill down.

                                   PRINCE JOHN
                         There, it is done.  All properties
                         belonging to Locksley are
                         confiscated in the name of the
                         Crown.

               Guy places his poker against the stone wall and walks over to
               the prince.

                                   SIR GUY
                         Excellent, Your Highness.  I shall
                         send men there immediately to haul
                         all valuables back here for...

                                   PRINCE JOHN
                         For appraisal, Sir Guy?

               Guy grins.

                                   SIR GUY
                         Yes, an appraisal.

                                   PRINCE JOHN
                         Tell me, how many men have you sent
                         to track this rogue Robin of
                         Locksley down?

                                   SIR GUY
                         Forty men left at first light, Your
                         Highness.  Locksley will be in the
                         dungeon before we know it.

                                   PRINCE JOHN
                         Ah, I am so pleased!  Shall we
                         share a toast to that?

               Prince John pours a deep red port into a goblet in front of
               Guy.  As the latter man picks up his container, John sets the
               pitcher down too close to his own goblet.  It tips over,
               spilling the thick wine onto the table.  We close in on the
               spill.  The port makes it to the edge of the table and drips
               down onto the stone floor.  The liquid resembles blood as the
               dripping continues.



               EXT. SHERWOOD FOREST - DAY

               Robin and Will have found a seldom used path in the bowel of
               Sherwood.  Dense groupings of trees block out much of the
               sunlight.  Brush and grass grow thick.

                                   WILL
                         Why are we in this Godforsaken
                         forest?  And what are we going to
                         do?

                                   ROBIN
                         We must organize those loyal to
                         Richard.  Prince John is eager for
                         the throne.  He must be stopped.

                                   WILL
                         You said that you have a plan. 
                         What, pray tell, is it?

                                   ROBIN
                         I'm pleased that you ask, cousin.
                             (pause)
                         The first step is getting the word
                         out to the villagers. 
                         All men able to carry a sword, a
                         staff or a bow should be gathered.

                                   WILL
                         Are you sure that there are enough
                         capable men willing to join you in
                         your crusade against the prince?

                                   ROBIN
                         Oh, quite sure, dear cousin!  Just
                         yesterday I met a man whom I should
                         say would be more than willing to
                         lend his bow to the cause.



               EXT. MUCH'S HOUSE - DAY

               This meager sod and straw home is ablaze.  A tall mill, just
               behind the house and next to a narrow river, has also been
               set on fire.  SEVERAL ARMED SOLDIERS stand nearby, admiring
               their work.  The GAME WARDEN (special guest Mike Myers) from
               the previous day sits on his horse.  He looks down on MUCH
               (Nick Frost), who is sprawled across a patch of muddy grass. 
               Much has been beaten within an inch of his life.

                                   WARDEN
                         This shall teach you, Saxon dog,
                         for defying the law.  If I say that
                         there is to be no poaching of the
                         King's deer, you shall obey.

               Much tries to look at the speaker, but cannot quite crane his
               neck up that high.

                                   WARDEN
                         I shall spare your life, you
                         vulgarian, if you answer me this
                         one question...
                             (pause)
                         Where is Robin of Locksley?

               Much barely lifts his head and mutters a few syllables.

                                   WARDEN
                         Pardon me?

               Much mumbles a few words.  The Warden sighs and gets off of
               his horse.  He stands next to Much's head.

                                   WARDEN
                         Again, you Saxon reprobate, I ask
                         you...
                             (pause)
                         Where is Robin of Locksley?

               Much again mutters.  The Warden looks annoyed.  He kneels
               down and grabs Much by the hair.  He lifts the man's head.

                                   WARDEN
                         Really, I cannot understand what
                         you are saying.  You'll have to
                         speak up.

               Much's lips move for several seconds, but no words come out. 
               The Warden leans forward a little to try to hear.

                                   MUCH (STRAINED)
                         I said...
                             (pause)
                         You're kneeling in horse shit.

               The Warden looks down at his knee.  He drops Much's head and
               jumps up and back.  He swats at his leggings with his gloves. 
               When he is done, he looks with ire down at Much.  The Warden
               then mounts his horse.  He looks over at the soldiers.

                                   WARDEN
                         Break out the marshmallows, men!  A
                         reward has been placed on the head
                         of Locksley.  I think that we shall
                         see many more fires before this day
                         is through!

               The Warden brings his head back and lets out a maniacal
               laugh.  The mad laughter continues as we pan down to Much. 
               We close in on the poor man's blood-marked face.  His eyes
               have begun to swell shut, but they still painfully look
               ahead.



               INT. SHERWOOD FOREST 

               Robin and Will continue their journey deeper into the forest.

                                   ROBIN
                         Yes, I am sure that we can depend
                         on that man and many more.

                                   WILL
                         They believe in the cause?

                                   ROBIN
                         They believe in me!  I shall lead
                         them to freedom in the name of King
                         Richard.  They will do unbelievable
                         things because they admire me so.

               Robin rides with his chest out, confident in his manliness
               and role in the coming campaign to rid England of the tyrant
               Normans.  Will looks at him with scrutiny.



               EXT. VARIOUS SAXON VILLAGES - AS THE DAY PROGRESSES

               We cut along several scenes of SOLDIERS razing the homes of
               defenseless SAXON VILLAGERS.  The men are being beaten.  The
               women, even the pre-teen girls, are being assaulted.  Cries
               of horror and sadness travel with the wind along with the
               cinders of the villagers' lives.

               Off to the side at the last village site, a soldier holds a
               humbly clothed man's arms back while another soldier punches
               him.

                                   VILLAGER
                         I don't know where Robin is!  I
                         swear!

               Another punch lands on the man's gut.  He doubles over.  The
               villager's wife and children cry for him.

                                   SOLDIER
                         Where is he?  Where is Locksley?

                                   VILLAGER
                         I... I don't know!
                             (pause)
                         Why?  Why, Robin, have you brought
                         this down upon us?

               The camera pulls back as the beating continues.  As we pull
               high and out, we see that the entire Saxon village has been
               set on fire.

                                                         FADE TO BLACK.


               END OF EPISODE.
[ top ]

Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.
Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1