Where to start, well its now April 2007, I discovered I was expecting another baby which was a shock and not expected. Last November we took a family holiday to florida and seaworld/disney and had a fab time. The boys loved it. I was heavily pregnant but I even had a great time and loved seaworld and Shamu.
Course we still miss Megan everyday and not a day goes by when I don't think of her, The boys all know of her and even Drew who is now 2yrs old shouts love you meg when we go the cemetary which is lovely and often brings a tear to my eye.
Its harder as the years go by in one way as you fear you will forget her, even though you won't its all in your mind. You have to get on and move on a little for the sake of the other children. I have to be strong for my boys. They need me as well .
Our latest son and our final addition to our framily was born 8wks early on 2nd March 07 , I was a bit sad as another boy at 1st and the fact I will never have another daughter upset me a little but I am lucky I have my 5 sons. Matthew was born via emergency section as my placenta had become detached and we nearly lost him at birth. makes you realise how lucky we really are and apprecaite what we have. we came home from hospital after 2wks and we got rushed back into hospital as he stopped breathing and needed ressus, Thankfully his godfather brought him back to us who i can not thank enough and saved his life.
Now 6wks on from his birth he got diagnosed with reflux but everything else is ok and he is doing fine.
I still see Sue our practise nurse who has been such a rock when I have needed support , The pregnancy I had many emotions and mixed feelings, what if it was another girl and how would i feel if another boy as I knew it was my last baby due to medical reasons, everytime I had a doubt or felt down she helped me pick myself up.
Everyone has been so supportive and helped, Its now nearly 7yrs on and yes I have my down days, I have days where I long to hold my baby girl and just have that one last cuddle but I have also come to realise that she would have wanted me to move on, I can not dwell on the past I have a future and I will live my future for her.
I also want to thank Christine online who has listened many a time to me and helped me see the light.
I still raise money for LWH and the NICU and we have raised nearly �2000 , they did there best for Megan and when Matthew was born again I owe them a lot .
In June 2000 I lost my baby girl , now nearly June 2007 and in those 7yrs a lot of heartache , and feelings I never even knew imaginable but also many joys I have had another 3 sons who i know and beleive Megan is watching over .
On her birthday this year we are going to release a balloon of each of us like every year but this year extra special as I beleive she was watching over Matthew and we are lucky to have him here celebrating her birth and time she stayed with us.
Megan Elizabeth Hannah Langley
22.6.2000 - 23.6.2000
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