When I was in Form five, happiness was when I could cycle back to Parit Kuda to see my (late) mother. She was always happy to see me regardless whether she had money or not. When it was a rainy season, she couldn’t go out and tap rubber and there will be only a few cents, if any, for her to give me. But that was enough to make me very happy.

 

Happiness then was also when, once a week, I could save enough money to have a bowl of curry mee at the school canteen. I always had the taufu last. They were very juicy and nice. When one bite into them the curry will ooze out with an indescribable delicious taste. Of course being a prefect gave me the privilege of getting ahead of the queue.

 

When I was an undergraduate, happiness was when I passed my exams. I thought I knew everything then. I always thought being an engineer was the greatest thing one can become (not true).

 

When I was working, happiness was when I got my first BMW with a driver! I thought it was great when I imagined, people were watching me reading the papers at the back seat in traffic jams – pretending to be important and busy. After a while I didn’t bother to read anymore as it used to make me sick – so I just closed my eyes and dozed off. The car and driver came with the job and was only temporary. They disappeared as soon as I called it quit.

 

At 52, happiness is when I know I have my family. I have my old car to drive. Being anonymous has its virtues and an immense sense of freedom. No more seasons greeting cards from company representatives (I didn’t know most of them) wanting to be remembered and no more hampers filled with stuff nearing their “use by date” to fill my living room during Hari Raya. I can either sit for coffee at a roadside stall or (when I have an old friend to pay for the bills) sit in a Starbuck, Sheraton or the mandarin. I just hope I am healthy and well enough to read, play some golf, attend board meetings (which help to pay for the teh tarik) and see my children go through the career cycles that I had seen.

 

I just bought a piece of land in Batu Putih, near Parit Kuda Darat hoping to build a small house and bring back my childhood dreams – to be back with my folks and very, very old friends.

 

Happiness is therefore a state of contentment. It is a state of self actualization (ref: Prof. Maslow).

 

 

Dr. Samad Solbai

January, 2004                                                                                                   <BACK>