KCard : Rapport
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Being connected
People are said to be in rapport when they are in a
privileged situation for communicating. When in this situation people just
seem to be able to get their messages through to one another. On the other
hand, if two people are in rapport and a third is not then this will be quite
apparent, for everyone. This is a pretty common situation which can often be
observed in restaurants for example with two people in a deep conversation
and a third looking disconnected (not in sync when laughing for example). NLP puts much emphasise on the concept of rapport as
it is better to be in rapport to execute a number of the other techniques
(such as using the Milton Model for example). Achieving of rapport
NLP suggests a number of techniques for achieving
rapport. Pacing (synchronisation) is one. Pacing is the action of matching
yourself to your interlocutor. Matching can occur on many levels. One can for
example match posture and movement. You can also match verbal qualities
(speed of speech, voice tone and pitch, ...).
Literature often mention going as far as matching breathing patterns. You can
also match values and beliefs... The basic idea which is pushed to the
extreme here is that most people like people who are like them. Of course,
one must be careful while pacing not to appear to be monkeying
(which definitely isn't any good for rapport). An interesting NLP concept is that matching brings
rapport and vice versa, that is rapport brings to matching. The action of
using rapport to bring someone to match you is called leading, hence the
pace/lead terms. Possibilities
Once rapport
is achieved it can be used in many ways. One is to simply gain trust, for
example to obtain information in therapy, or to convince the patient to
follow the healing process. Another way to use rapport is to lead someone to
match whatever you want (for example in the sales process). You can also use
rapport to shift someone's internal state, physiology or internal
representations (for example to influence behaviour). This last example uses
the reciprocity of rapport and synchronisation. |
Ideas to develop
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