When Ginny
and Harry fell onto the floor they found themselves in a miniature office. They
were in Hogwarts and Harry recognised the room immediately as Flitwick’s
office, as Harry had saved Sirius in his third year at Hogwarts. The fireplace
they had fallen out of only barely reached up to Harry’s knees and the desk in
the centre was half the size he was.
They both ran
out into the corridor. Ginny was now crying heavily and Harry was shaking
uncontrollably and felt sick. He wanted to be back getting revenge for Hagrid
and his parents and his friends. He was filled with hatred and his fists were
clenched tightly. Why had he allowed Ginny to pull him under the carpet? He
could be back there right now ridding the world of evil once and for all. That
would wipe the smirk off Malfoy’s face. And everyone would cheer for Harry in
the Great Hall and he would no longer have to live with the Dursleys. The world
would be a happy place and all he had to do was get back to that house.
But no. That
wouldn’t happen. Harry needed to find real help and soon. He needed
Dumbledore. After figuring out exactly where they were in the castle Harry
headed straight for the fourth floor. Ginny wanted to go to Dumbledore’s
office, however.
‘Harry,
you’re going the wrong way,’ she sobbed over and over again. ‘We have to
get Dumbledore. He’ll be in his office.’
‘No he
won’t,’ said Harry continuing to run through tapestries and down flights of
stairs until they finally reached the forth floor and the statue of Merlin.
Harry whipped out his wand and tapped the statue. Merlin sprang to life and
revealed the familiar secret corridor behind him. Ginny didn’t seem to care,
however, that Harry was leading her down this secret corridor and Harry didn’t
care that he was braking the promise to Dumbledore about keeping the Order a
secret.
When they
reached the end of the corridor there was chaos in the Chamber. The members were
hurrying around with magical devices and looking at them carefully at the large
circular table before exchanging them for other devices. When Harry and Ginny
walked in, the commotion stopped. Sirius was looked nearly as bad as he had
after escaping from Azkaban.
‘Get her
out,’ said Fletcher in a panicking voice noticing Ginny. ‘She shouldn’t be
here.’
‘Leave
her,’ said Dumbledore as Ginny collapsed onto the ground in tears, every so
often calling out ‘Hagrid.’ Figg had already hurried over to her and was
trying her best to comfort her.
‘Harry,’
said Sirius. ‘Where’s Hagrid? What happened? Is he all right? Are you all
right?’
‘Harry
we’ll need to know everything,’ said Dumbledore seriously as he led Harry to
the table to sit down. He seemed to understand more than the rest of them that
the news was bad.
Harry
reluctantly told them everything starting with him going down to Hogsmeade to
meet Ginny and finding Snape, to them getting the floo powder back to Hogwarts.
When he reached the part of how Hagrid had stayed loyal to Dumbledore until the
very end, Ginny screamed and Harry felt warm tears starting to stream down his
face. He tried to hold them back and hide them from Dumbledore and Sirius who
were gazing deep into his eyes as if they were telling their own story.
‘It is
wrong to conceal your feelings, Harry,’ said Dumbledore whose face was now a
pale white and he looked the worst Harry had ever seen him. His eyes were sunken
and his voice was husky and rasping.
When Harry
finished all he wanted to do was fall into a dreamless sleep but Dumbledore
wasn’t finished.
‘Harry,’
said Dumbledore gravely. ‘What happened today was not meant to happen at all.
One person was meant to die today, however.
‘I’m sure
by now, you have realised that Severus was the Order’s spy. Last year when
Lord Voldemort was reborn I sent Severus to the graveyard where it happened. He
was definitely not happy about being sent. But he is loyal and he went. He
arrived just after you escaped and Lord Voldemort was happy to see him. He
seemed to believe that Severus was loyal to him alone. This was not how it was.
Even though Severus killed people to gain Lord Voldemort’s trust, Lord
Voldemort grew very suspicious of Severus and rarely trusted him.
‘He gave
Severus more and more difficult tasks to be carried out, until it came to
destroying Diagon Alley. Severus couldn’t bring himself to kill the Minister
of Magic. But he did promise Lord Voldemort something else. He promised him you,
Harry, and somehow managed to convince Lord Voldemort that he himself would
carry out the murdering. It was now time for a plan.
‘Severus
knew that if he didn’t kill you Lord Voldemort would kill you both. But
Severus wanted to die with pride. He didn’t want to be killed by the most
feared man in the world. The Order owed it to him to give him a death he wished
for as he had retrieved so much information while putting his own life in danger
and so this plan was devised:
‘He watched
you constantly over a few weeks waiting for the moment he could take you. And
finally, today, the perfect moment came when you went to visit Ginny in
Hogsmeade. He would take you to the old Riddle House on your own. That was the
first problem - when Ginny came. He would then get ready to kill you when
Alastar would come on his flying carpet and save you while killing Severus in
the process. This would allow Severus his wish of dying with pride.
‘However,
Hagrid didn’t want Alastar to go. Hagrid wanted to do the work himself and,
without the consent of the Order, he forced Alastar to let him go. He knew the
plan perfectly and was just as good a candidate as Alaster. Unfortunately
something that hadn’t been planned for happened – Lord Voldemort turned
up.’
Harry felt
numb from this as tears continued to stream down his face. He had lost one of
his best friends to Lord Voldemort. He would never see Hagrid again. He would
never see the unusual creatures Hagrid liked to keep again. He would never share
jokes and laugh with Hagrid again. He was gone forever and he was never coming
back. Ever. He was gone. But he would never leave Harry’s heart.
***
Harry
couldn’t remember much after that. He didn’t remember leaving the Order but
he found himself in his bed in the Gryffindor Tower for the next three days. He
didn’t want to get up at all. He wanted to stay there for the rest of his
life. Really, there was no point in living anymore. He had no reason to. There
was an empty space in his heart that could never be filled. He would just stay
here in this warm bed until time decided to take him away. Then he would truly
be happy.
Everyone in
Gryffindor house knew the basic outline of what had happened on that night, and
his friends would often visit him. Ginny, Ron and Hermione only left his bedside
to go to classes and they would bring food up to him from the Great Hall. But he
barely ate a thing. Ginny was still a pale white but she was over the initial
shock. Sirius stayed by his bed the whole time in dog form. He was happier
staying in his bed then going to classes and the teachers didn’t seem to mind
that he didn’t turn up. He didn’t even get up to receive his OWL results.
The whole of fifth year gathered in the Great Hall and were presented with their
results by Prof. Dumbledore. Hermione, naturally, received a cauldron-full of
OWLs and Ron did better than Fred and George had done last year, which he seemed
very happy with.
That
afternoon when Hermione, Ginny and Ron came to visit Harry, they brought
Harry’s O.W.L. results with them.
‘There you
go, Harry,’ said Hermione with a smile, handing Harry an envelope. She seemed
very excited. ‘Well aren’t you going to open it?’
Harry took
the envelope but he didn’t feel like opening it and so placed the envelope on
his bedside table.
‘Harry,’
whimpered Ginny. ‘You can’t go on like this. Look at you. You look terrible
and lying in bed the rest of your life isn’t going to bring Hagrid back.’
‘I just
want to be alone,’ snapped Harry angrily. ‘I never said staying here would
bring Hagrid back. I just want to be alone.’
‘Harry,
please,’ begged Hermione. ‘You have got to lead a normal life. Staying in
bed is just admitting defeat to You-Know-Who.’
‘Well,
maybe I am admitting defeat,’ said Harry. ‘He’s killed too many people I
care about and nothing I do is going to make the slight bit of difference.’
‘You can
get out of bed for starters,’ said Hermione and then left the dorm in a huff
with Ron and Ginny.
But something
about what Hermione said had gotten through to him. She was right. By staying in
bed he was admitting defeat but he didn’t want to. He couldn’t stay in bed
the whole time.
He joined
Hermione, Ron and Ginny for dinner in the Great Hall that evening. They kept
away from everyone else and they didn’t talk which was just how Harry wanted
it.
It felt much
better to be up and about now, but the thought of Hagrid never left his mind. He
kept reliving what had happened that night over and over again and e
continuously thought of what he should of done and how he should have helped
Hagrid. He often thought he saw Hagrid off in the distance but it would just
turn out to be a tree or a shadow.
As each day
passed though, he thought of Hagrid less and less. He laughed and had fun with
Ron, Hermione and Ginny and he attended all the classes, which were a good way
to occupy his mind even if it was just for a few minutes at a time.
His OWLs
still remained unopened on his bedside table and this was how he wanted it to
stay, for the moment anyway. He could tell that Hermione longed for him to open
them but she knew better than to pester him about it.