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| My Life At A Convenience Store and the inconveniency of it: |
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| Another day another X on the calendar of '17' another King Size Box of JuNiOr MiNtS another day... another cut on my hand. another toilet scrubbed clean. another day... another 15 hours of head ache learning. another 1269 sighs & heaves of breath another day... another bunch of regrets, hopes, and thoughts another sleepless night to come to lead to another day... - March 14 |
| Shit fills up the toilet I cringe and silently gag as I squish it down with the plunger shit sprays pumping the plunger to unplug the disgustingness of men - April 8 |
| They watch me as I count out their money I can see their disgust in their disgusting faces hurriedness, hautiness I say thank you they mumble thank you I look into their eyes O God, their eyes... sharply glance away walk out of the store - April 8 |
| My knees ache so badly from standing around waiting for them to come with their disgusting smelling bodies and food wanting to buy cigarettes, gasoline, junk food with dirty money, dirty hands, dirty faces dirty heads, empty minds somewhere along the line they lost their shame I can't find it anywhere as I lift the napkins to check the price of the box of pizza nor can I find it as I look towards the pumps to find out how much money they owe I can't find it in their wallet, on their I.D. I can't see it in their eyes Where did the shame go? My feet ache and my eyes are twitching my shoulders sag and my head is pounding I can't concentrate - I keep wandering off They stare at me astonished when I am unable to read their minds -When I don't try to- the coffee that I've been drinking to stay awake and aware sulfurs my mouth and shakes my body I can't sit down on the hard stool it's uncomfortable and I would just have to get up again to hurry to the counter And if I do get myself comfortable in a book in some endless homework in another, happier world they clear their throat - offended that the fat, ugly, bitchy girl did not see them with the eyes in the back of her head did not jump up to assist them in their every need. - April 9 |
| I stare off outside and think this experience is good for me I'll look back on this with fondness or maybe I'll just remember a lesson or two about life, about people... things I stare off outside out the window from this hard stool they are all out there filling tanks spilling gasoline on pavement laughing, littering, loitering, lying to themselves, to everyone I watch them saunter towards the store I sigh Stand up and run my hands over my face and hair fijiting, forceful, faint, fake I ring up our lives. - May 1 |
| A test of my mental stability A test of my physical ability I walk from room to room I grab the broom and try to smile I lift up the lid of the dumpster with my middle finger I glance up at the water tower punch in the price of how much I weigh I look you up then back down Yes, yes... Have a nice day!! F*#@ off F*#@ off please go I escape to the employee's bathroom I squat down 'cause the mirror it does not hang I stare at the reflection all I can see is my tan has faded and sad eyes |
| Please don't call me LaDy I'm 17, not 80 - May 12 |