failexam

18 Fun Ways To Take An Exam You're Sure To Fail

     (Also fun to do if you just walked into an exam for a class you're not taking.)

1. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

2. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For
     example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

3. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

4. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using
        Roman numerals.

5. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

6. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting
        things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..).

7. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out
        triumphantly.

8. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for
        mommy).

9. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

10. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor
would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.

11. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say, "You don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days Of Our Lives is on!!!"

12. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop.
When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

13. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

14. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

15. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of
him/her.

16. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.

17. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

18. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx Sucks"