I asked to see my baby before they left, since I had not had so much as a glimpse of him since his birth. They agreed to wheel my bed into the room where Julian was, and they actually laid him (still hooked to life-support) on a heated blanket in the crook of my arm. I was crying, but I talked to him, telling him how much I loved him! At first I was unsure if it was ok to touch him---I worried about any germs. But they said it was ok for me to touch him, so I placed my finger in the palm of his hand. He instantly grasped it--and he stabilized completely! The staff was just amazed, and they all commented on how this just shows how much a baby needs his momma!
One of the NICU nurses told us later that they had been put on alert that a very critical baby was being flown in, and they needed to be ready to go to work on him immediately when he arrived. Then when Julian got there, they were told, �Oh, it�s ok. He�s stable now, and you don�t have to do anything!� After spending those few minutes with me, Julian had turned a corner so to speak, and he remained stable for the entire trip to DHMC---and ever since! It is truly a miracle! :)
Julian has continued to surprise us all! One big thing that is going for him is that he is such a good size for his gestational age! As one nurse put it, �he is well-grown!� No signs of IUGR (intra-uterine growth restriction) and he is the first of my babies to not be SGA (small for gestational age). This is especially exciting to me!
The paperwork from Cheshire Medical Center where he was born said that he was only 26 wks and 4 days gestation at birth. Some of the staff at DHMC asked me if I was sure my dates were accurate. I smiled, because all along, I have seen a discrepancy of a few days between how I figure it and how my OB�s figure it. I know my LMP was July 12, which was a Tuesday. I also know that I ovulated on CD 13, and I had a + pg test on CD 27. I count the weeks forward from July 12th, so I figure that every Tuesday I compete another week of pregnancy. My OBs use that little paper wheel, and they came up with April 20th for my due date---then they count the weeks backwards from there, and they figure I am about 3 days behind what I say I am.
The NICU staff said that Julian looks and acts every bit of 27 weeks, and I figure that the morning he was born, he was exactly 27 wks. One of the staff went and looked in the computer for my first u/s which was done at DHMC when I was 7 wks 2 days---and they saw that the u/s confirmed the pregnancy the same way I figured it! So Julian really was 27 wks at birth. This does make a difference for a preemie baby---every day counts! The NICU nurse told me that those paper wheels are notoriously inaccurate, some as much as 1 week off! Though she cannot change the paperwork from CMC, we know Julian�s true age. :)
Something very cool--- some of the medical supplies used on Julian in the NICU are the ones made at Smith�s Medical where Truman works! Truman recognized these syringes as the very kind he has put together---they are used for testing blood gas.
January 22. Julian is continuing to do well. He does not need as much extra oxygen, and they turned down the pressure on his ventilator---this means he breathes more by himself with less assistance! Last Thursday he had needed a chest tube because one of his lungs collapsed---he recovered very quickly though, and they have now removed the tube. He has a valve above his heart that should close after birth----it was open, but seems to be closed or almost closed now, which is better for him. They will have to check it with an echo (sp?) to see for sure. If it does not close all the way, they may end up having to close it surgically. But right now it isn't causing problems for him. All of these things are very common in preemies, so they know exactly how to fix the problems as they arise---that is very reassuring for us!
Julian's situation is SO much better than Ezra's was (if you don't remember, Ezra was our first baby who we lost in 1997). I told the nurses that if they said Julian had some rare and exotic problem, I would be much more worried. Ezra's situation was definitely unique, and his problems posed great difficulties for the NICU staff---mainly because they hadn't dealt with a case like his ever before. But Julian's issues are the normal ones for a 27 weeker, and they know just how to deal with them. I feel that Julian has excellent chances of making it! It is still just "one day at a time" though, because things could change in a moment. However, we are thinking positive for him, and we know he is surrounded by the prayers of very many people including our own!
Julian is now being tube fed some colostrum that I pumped for him. Yesterday I was able to feed him some of his colostrum, and change his little diaper! It feels wonderful to be able to do such motherly things for him! Today, Truman fed him and I changed him afterwards. These diapers are SO tiny---they are about 2 inches wide! (they gave me one for his baby book, and maybe I can scan it beside a ruler so you can see just how small it is!)
We still won't know for a long time if there was permanent brain damage from lack of oxygen at his birth---that will show later if he doesn't meet his developmental milestones. But right now, he is doing all the things he should be doing---he is stable, his blood counts are good, he pees like he should, etc. He is tolerating his colostrum ok, it seems to be moving through his system. His head ultrasound showed no more signs of bleeding, and the tiny bleed he had was gone! He needed lights for his jaundice, but it's getting so much better. His bruises from birth are all gone now.
Also, he reacts to our voices and our touch. He has shown a mind of his own, he makes it obvious that he likes to be in certain positions and not others, and he gets mad sometimes when he is moved! He is a feisty little guy---but that is a good thing! :)
We are just so excited and thankful that he is alive and that things are as positive as they are!
Both yesterday and today, we took the boys and my mom with us to the hospital, and made a day of it. Eric and Jamie drew and colored pictures for Julian, and the nurses hung them around his bed. The kids are quite taken with their tiny little brother! They played while Julian slept, but then when he was awake for his diaper change, they were very interested in what was going on. They enjoyed watching the baby open his eyes, kick his feet, wave his hands, etc! We also got some pics of the boys touching Julian's hand---they loved how soft his baby skin is. :)
I am pumping milk for Julian, though most of it goes in the freezer right now. I hope to get a big stash in there! I have borrowed a double electric pump from WIC, but I also have a Medela Harmony hand pump which I have used in the car to pump while we were traveling to and from the hospital. I even hand-pumped in Friendly's restaurant while we had dinner last night! (just sat in the corner near the wall, and I don't think anyone noticed what went on under my shirt! LOL) I have found out how to use pony-tail holders (for your hair) to make a hands-free pumping system. It works most of the time to hold the flanges in place while I massage my breasts to get a better let-down of milk. I can also type a little bit if I am at my computer! :)
I am healing from my c-section, though it has been pretty sore! But despite the discomforts and pain, it's all worth it to know that Julian is safely here, even if he needs the time in NICU to grow before he can come home. The fact is he wouldn't be alive if they had waited much longer to take him out---BUT I am so happy we got him in time!
January 24th. Today I got to hold Julian for the first time!!!!! :) We did "Kangaroo Care" (aka "skin to skin") for about half an hour. It was SO wonderful to hold my little guy, snuggled up against my chest. He did pretty well. He doesn't like to be moved much, and his lungs still aren't as strong as they should be. It took a little bit for him to settle after being moved out of his isolette, and then he needed to have some secretions suctioned from his lungs. After that, he settled in comfortably and went to sleep. I'm so happy I could cry!
Oh, yes, I also got to change his diaper again, and this time he had a nice big poop (of meconium) for me! LOL
They did check to see if the valve in question had closed. They gave him the second round of medication, and the valve did close. They stopped his Breastmilk feeds for 18 hrs while he had the medicine, but resumed giving him Breastmilk by Wednesday, Jan. 25th.
Also on January 25th, Julian was taken off the ventilator on and put on CPAP. "CPAP is continuous positive airway pressure (C.P.A.P.). The C.P.A.P. unit pressure is set specific to each person's needs to prevent collapse of the airway or throat. The pressure varies according to how severe the apnea is and how much pressure is needed to prevent collapse."
It is an adjustment for Julian, because he needs to do a lot more breathing on his own. He tends to forget and his O2 saturation levels drop, then his alarms go off. But CPAP is much safer and gentler on his lungs than a ventilator which forces more air into the lungs.
January 28th. I haven't held Julian since he went on CPAP, but hopefully soon he is adjusted well enough that I can kangaroo with him again.
He is getting more breastmilk now. The nurse said last night that they were upping his feeds to 5 cc every 2 hrs! I am pumping a lot of milk for him, but I want to see more, so I try to get in extra pumpings when I can. Minimum is 8 times per 24 hrs. I carry a hand pump in case I am in the car when I need to pump, but I use a double electric at home and at the hospital.
The hardest part is balancing sleep needs and pumping needs. I pump at midnight just before Truman and I go to bed (Truman gets home from work at 11:15pm). I set my alarm for 5 am, but sometimes, like this morning, I have slept through it. :( I am pumping a large amount as I type, but frequency is the most important rule of breastmilk production, so I need to do some extra pumpings to keep my body making more milk. I try to get a short nap in during the day if I can, and I am usually asleep when Truman comes home from work.
There is just so much I need to catch up on, but I have to do it a little at a time. My mom has been very helpful. She defrosted my big freezer which needed it badly, but then I reorganized it to make room for a box to hold breastmilk for Julian. I take milk to the hospital when I go, but his freezer bin there was full the other day. So I will collect extra here, until he is catching up to me----but I hope to stay well ahead of him!
Truman got down the box of infant clothes from the top storage shelf, and mom and I sorted out the smallest sleepers and onesies (newborn size). I also found the receiving blankets, towels, bassinet sheets (that may fit the co sleeper), and baby socks. I had two or three 0-3 mo size outfits, and some sleep sacks (like wearable blankets). Mom washed and dried all this stuff, then folded it. Mom also took off the stroller covers and the carseat cover and washed them.
I have been trying to get caught up on paying our bills, and I also have had to track down missing paperwork (ie, birth certificate related) and send in necessary papers to insurance etc. I've also had a chiropractor appt, and a visit with the nurse to check my incision and blood pressure which were ok. I still take pain meds though, I am still pretty sore.
We still have to clean out the room intended for the baby (put away my craft stuff, sewing, etc), and also clear space for the co-sleeper in our room. I was so NOT prepared for baby to come this soon!
I feel cheated out of the best part of my pregnancy! The big belly stage. The stronger kicks as the baby gets ever bigger. I had wanted to get some professional belly pictures, and we were thinking of doing it by 34 wks since I have had Eric and Jamie at 35 and 36 wks! I wanted to get pics of the boys putting their hands on my pregnant tummy---and I only thought of it a few days before Julian was born---but we never got the pics! I wanted Truman to do a bare belly pic of me, but I was having trouble convincing him---and we didn't take any yet. Since we are not planning to go through pregnancy ever again, I won't have another chance, besides there is no guarantee I'd make it even this far in another pg. :(
All that said, I am very happy that I have met my little one---I am so glad he is here and alive and doing as well as expected for a baby born 13 weeks too early. Even though he requires NICU care at the hospital, he's my baby and I am totally in love with him. He is getting the best medical care available, and I can touch him and even hold him a little bit when we visit him. I love being able to provide my milk for him, though getting him to breast is my ultimate goal! First, he just needs to grow lots and lots, learn to breathe well, and be able to regulate his body temperature. It's early to have to do all that yet! But it's amazing what medical technology can help him with until he can do it all on his own.
My dad came, and we are all going up today (Saturday) to see Julian. Sunday, dad and mom go back to PA. One of my brothers and his wife are coming Sunday for a brief visit.
January 29th. I did more Kangarooing with Julian today! I held him for 2 hrs, but it hardly seemed that long! They took off his CPAP and gave him a nasal cannula (sp?) for the time I held him. After the 2 hrs, we put him back in his bed, and the nurse put his CPAP back on; then I changed him and gave him his breastmilk in his tube. My SIL was videoing, and took some really nice footage, including several minutes of Julian with his eyes open! She also got some of his sounds---he hiccups, sneezes, and cries! His cry is so cute and tiny!
February 1st. He is being fed only breastmilk now, no IV! He is still tube fed, not ready for breast yet. He has gained a little weight overall, but it's kind of up and down a bit, which is normal for preemies. They have to get better at breathing before they can really start gaining some weight. His Daddy got to hold him today!
On the whole, Julian continues to do very well. His nurses say he is one of the easiest babies in the NICU, even if he is one of the smallest! :)
Thursday February 2nd, they took him off the CPAP, and gave him a high-flow nasal cannula. This type of cannula is still under some pressure to help keep his airways open, and he also still gets some extra oxygen in it. But the nasal cannula is much smaller and doesn't cover his face so much like the CPAP tubes did. And he pretty much takes all his own breaths. There are still times he forgets to breathe, his alarms go off, and the nurse stimulates him (pats his back or something similar) to remind him to breathe again. The nasal cannula makes it much easier for us to hold him....and take pictures of him!
Friday, we went to stay at David's House (it's like a Ronald McDonald house) for the weekend---Friday night through Sunday morning. This made it so we could see Julian more often, since David's House is right near the hospital (it's a place just for families who have a child in the hospital). We saw Julian on Friday night, several times on Saturday, and then for a few hrs on Sunday before we drove back home.
On Saturday, I got to give him a bath! His cord stump had fallen off by Thursday. The nurses set up a radiant warmer over a baby bath tub. I took off Julian's dirty diaper, then wrapped him in a blanket. After I washed his face and hair, we put him in the warm water, blanket and all. Then I unwrapped the blanket and washed him. After he was clean, we put him in a warm dry blanket and I cuddled him as I dried him off. Truman was snapping pictures the whole time! I laid him in his isolette, but at first he wasn't happy. I put his clean diaper on him, then turned him on his side. He liked that much better, and I tucked him into his "nest" (made of blankets). He stopped fussing, then we fed him his breastmilk---he is still tube-fed.
We went into town in the afternoon so we could do a little shopping. We could not find a new battery charger for our older model camcorder---we had tried a new battery but it just would not charge. We went to Kohl's where they were having sales on many items. We found some cute baby toys---Eric and Jamie chose two toys for Julian. I also got some Peek-a-blocks for when he is a bit older (maybe next Christmas?) We found Thomas the tank engine shirts at half price for the older boys. I also found on clearance a cozy sleeper and a fleece outfit that should fit Eric next year for PJ's. Truman got a couple of T-shirts on clearance. I could not find any decent nursing shirts; oh well, I have several, they are just short sleeved but it's winter here! I am making do with three long-sleeved maternity shirts that I can pull up for double pumping.
We went back to the hospital and visited Julian again, and I did Kangaroo care with him for a while, after changing and feeding him. It's so nice to be able to hold him and cuddle with him. I miss him so much!
We went back to David's House for supper, then Truman wanted to go shopping again---I swear he is worse than a woman sometimes----LOL! But of course he wants to look at electronics and automotive stuff! We went to Kmart, and I looked at clearance baby clothes. I found a couple cute fleece shirts in bright striped colors that Julian should be able to wear next winter---did I mention they were on clearance?? :) I did not like any of the women's clearance shirts, but on the men's rack I found a size small red plaid flannel shirt that I can wear over a white nursing tank-top I have! We also bought batteries for my battery pump that I sometimes use in the car, and we got cough drops for Eric who was coughing worse and worse.
The kids fell asleep quickly once we got back to David's House. We took a shower, and I pumped again, before crashing into bed! I think we were all pretty tired! I pumped once during the night, but we slept until after 8 am on Sunday. After breakfast, we packed our things in the car and went over to the hospital. Eric was coughing a lot, and Jamie was sniffling, so I did not want them going in to see the baby. They have strict rules about visitors needing to be healthy, but they aren't as strict with family members as long as you wash your hands well and stay only at your baby's bed. But I thought it best to keep the kids' germs away from Julian. After I pumped again, I stayed with the kids in the family lounge, so they could watch some TV and have a snack. Truman changed Julian's diaper, gave him his breastmilk, and then did Kangaroo care with him! At one point the nurse came and offered to stay with the boys so I could go take a few pics of Truman and Julian! :)
We got home around 4pm on Sunday, and had a quiet evening. We put the kids to bed early---they were both coughing a lot. But on the whole, we had a great weekend. We hope to stay at David's house again in a couple weeks. Truman has President's Day off, and the kids have school vacation, so we can go up Saturday and come home Monday that weekend.
Tuesday, February 7th, we went up for a quick visit---it was the only day we could go during this week---we have appts all the other days. We can't do any appt. and go to the hospital in the same day---there just aren't enough hours, since Truman still has to go to work at 2:30 pm. This week we have 4 appts just for Truman---he is having trouble with his knee that had surgery on it 10 yrs ago! It's a crazy time to deal with his knee problem when we have to deal with our baby being in NICU too! But we are managing somehow---you just do your best. We also usually have to take Jamie with us when we go to the hospital because we can't make it back in time for his preschool bus.
Jamie still had a cough and sniffle, so we took turns---one of us would stay with him in the family lounge while the other went in to see Julian. We both got to hold him for a little while, and I changed his diaper. Jamie was happy enough since there is TV to watch and free snacks in the family lounge!
We will go back up on the weekend. Hopefully the kids will be over their colds by then. Next week I hope to go up at least twice, since we won't have so many appts.
February 9th. When we are not visiting Julian, we can call and speak to his nurses to get updates, any time day or night. We often call late at night after Truman gets home from work. There is one nurse named Kathy who is really nice, and she makes a point to stay connected with us even if she is not assigned to Julian. When we ask how Julian is, her favorite response is "well, he's not walking yet!" She always makes me laugh! She told us that Julian is now up to 2 lbs 13 oz! Way to grow, baby!
We have been talking about making a tape for Julian, so his nurse can play it for him. This way he can hear our voices some times when we are not with him. I finally located a tape recorder and a new tape, and the kids and I picked out some books to read. I talked to Julian some, then I read him �The Little Engine That Could�. One of his nurses---it may have been Kathy---said Julian is a lot like the little engine that could! Eric read a story, then I read another story that is a favorite of Jamie�s---it�s about a fish who lost his mother, but then he found her again and was very happy! Then we read/recited The Lord�s Prayer.
I also put some classical music on the tape---some pieces that are believed to help stimulate babies� brain development! Truman will have to talk to Julian too, and maybe read to him or something. To fill up the tape, I think we can alternate reading some more stories and classical music, plus have the kids talk to Julian as well.
We went to the hospital Saturday, February 11th to see Julian again. Eric wanted to take pictures, so I showed him how to use our camera. He actually did a good job taking pics---I think he is a natural photographer! We would really like to get more video of Julian. We found a deal on a JVC camcorder on Ebay, but it�s still in the mail somewhere.
It snowed on Sunday, a nor�easter, so the roads were really bad. We did not make the trip to the hospital. Speaking of the weather, there is one thing I missed mentioning earlier. The Sunday before Julian was born we had a nor�easter too---and we got way more snow with that one and lots of drifting from the strong winds. But by Monday night/Tuesday morning, the skies were clear---which was vital for the helicopter coming to get Julian. Tuesday Jan 17th was very cold but sunny, and the roads were clear for my ambulance ride as well. By Wednesday, the weather had turned bad again, with wind and freezing rain! It�s amazing how we got that small window of good weather just when we needed it---more proof that God is indeed watching over us! You know how they say bad weather can bring on labor---but I am SO glad my placenta did not abrupt in the middle of the nor�easter!
Since we were home again this Sunday, I cooked a nice breakfast of bacon and eggs, put away some laundry, paid some bills, and located some financial papers we needed. I hoped to make a bunting for Julian, but did not get to it. Of course I pumped, and I did get a rest in. Oh, yes, and I helped the kids do their valentines cards for their classmates.
I have to say that things are so much easier when the baby is still inside! Pumping is time-consuming, and so is traveling! I don�t know when I will be able to get the baby room ready! My life is still so discombobulated! I had so many things to catch up on before the baby was due, but with him coming 3 months early, who knows if I will ever catch up!
We did call and talk with Julian�s nurse Sunday night. He now weighs 3 pounds! Woohoo!
Valentine's Day! We visited Julian at the hospital this morning. I took one picture when he was mad and crying---LOL He has such an attitude! (like his mom?) :) He is also one strong little guy! He can lift his head and turn his face from one side to the other.
After changing him, I held him to feed him his breastmilk. The drs came on rounds, and said how happy they were with how he is doing! YAY! He has been moved from the Level III side to the Level II side of the NICU---that is a great milestone! He just needs to grow (gain weight) and completely master breathing on his own. They have no major concerns about him, and neither do I. :) Time will cure his problems, and time is on our side! He will get a routine u/s on his head next week---they will check and make sure everything looks normal since he was born so premature.
When we were about to leave, we bumped into the NICU LC, and talked to her for a few minutes. She said that on Thursday when we go see Julian, we can try giving him what they call a "breast visit." I am SO EXCITED to try that! He won't be breastfeeding yet, he isn't ready for that. His sucking reflex isn't developed, and he doesn't yet know how to coordinate sucking, swallowing, and breathing. But he will be allowed to nuzzle at my breast and get used to it a bit. That's why they call it a "breast visit". Knowing me, my milk will let down and he may get a taste of it! :) We will do these "visits" for a few weeks, before we see if he can actually try BFing---that will depend on how well he does suck-swallow-breathe by then.
We also discussed pumping and my milk supply. I have been having some trouble with sore nipples when I pump. Usually the pain is sharp like a bite for 10 seconds or so, then it gets better as I continue pumping. I have been using lansinoh, and sometimes olive oil, for the soreness. The olive oil is a great lubricant. But since I still had some nipple pain, the LC had suggested last week that I try larger flanges. I tried them a few times, but I thought I was not getting as much milk out when I used them. So I went back to the regular flanges. I also tried the smaller inserts that came with one of my older pumping kits---and I thought I got even more milk, it was as if the smaller flange size "milked" me better. I also increased my use of olive oil. I would put it on before pumping, and sometimes again after pumping, and that seemed to help. I am quite sure I do not have a yeast infection in my nipples---that kind of pain is a shooting pain in the whole breast (and may only be one breast at a time) and is usually present even after you are done nursing/pumping. My pain has pretty well cleared after the first half minute or so, although my nipples are very sensitive to touch at all times. And overall, I think that my nipples don't hurt quite as much as they did last week---I think using more olive oil helped most.
Anyway, I was concerned enough about my milk supply, that I thought I should not use the larger flanges. I told the LC that I thought I got less milk when I used the larger flanges. She thought that was a little strange. The larger flanges are more comfortable for many women = less pain during pumping; I think this could be because the larger flanges don't suck as hard and maybe don't draw out as much milk--at least for me. She agreed with me that it's not likely that I have yeast. Then she asked how much milk I am getting---I showed her my little notebook where I keep a daily tally. I write it down in ML, since the collection bottles are graduated in ML. I had been told that by 2-3 wks PP, I should get 24 ounces in 24 hours. 24 ounces is about 710 ML, but I have not yet made 700 per 24 hrs! I have seen a steady increase, but I am currently averaging about 650 ML, up from about 600 ML 2 wks ago. I was a little concerned whether this meant I would not have a full supply once Julian comes home. Right now I am way ahead of him, and I have a stash of around 300 ounces in the freezer right now! However, I have had other NICU moms tell me that they could only pump for 4-6 months and then their milk was just gone. I do NOT want that to happen---my goal is to get Julian to breast and nurse him for up to 2 yrs! With this in mind, I have been a little worried that though I am ahead of him now, do I need to reach the 710 ML per day to insure that I DO have a full supply for him later on?
The LC reassured me that I have NOTHING at all to worry about! She said anything above 600 ML per 24 hrs is very good at this stage of the game! That's about 20 ounces a day. She said I may find that my body will need to down-regulate a bit for Julian once he actually goes to breast! But better that than not having enough! I was so relieved when she told me this. Phew! I also felt like Wonder-mom! LOL
I told her how I just can't seem to wake up to the alarm at 5 am. I set it every night, and then I wake up around 6:30 or 7 am with boobs ready to burst!---and the alarm clock is turned off, but I have no recollection of hearing it or turning it off! :P I may need to get a different clock that isn't easy to turn off. But anyway, so now my body is used to sleeping 6-7 hrs at night with no pumpings during that time. I usually get at least 4-5 ounces in the morning, which is my biggest collection. But when Julian goes to breast, he will need to eat during the night, so my body will have to readjust to that. But that is an amazing thing about our breasts---they can adjust to the baby's needs! I might try setting my alarm for a different time, say 3 am or 4 am, and see if I can wake up better then, but at this point it doesn't seem to matter much. I also know that the key to increasing supply later (if that becomes necessary) is to increase the frequency of feedings---preferably with the baby nursing at breast since a healthy baby is better than a pump!
We were running late and left in such a hurry that I forgot to pic up my camera, and left it sitting by Julian's isolette. When I realized it later after we got home, I called his nurse and she put it in his isolette drawer with his name on it. I will get it on Thursday. So no more pics until then, sorry!
Thursday, February 16th. Julian�s first �breast visit.� He isn't expected to really nurse or anything---it's more to start getting him used to being at the breast, taste it, feel it, snuggle, nuzzle, you get the picture. A baby's sucking reflex typically develops around 34-36 wks gestational age, although that can vary plus or minus. Julian's gestational age is now 31+ wks, so I would not expect him to really suck on the breast. He is offered a little preemie size pacifier when he is tube fed, because sucking can help the baby relax and digest his food better; but he doesn't suck much on it and usually spits it out.
First, I took Julian's temperature and changed his (poopy) diaper. I took off his little sleeper too---he is wearing some clothes now, but they are hospital ones (we don't want any personal outfits lost in the hospital laundry). The nurse set up a chair for me. I took off my nursing shirt and bra, and put my flannel shirt back on---it buttons down the front and I left it open, so Julian and I would be skin-to-skin. The nurse picked up Julian and handed him to me, then she made sure his air tube and monitor wires didn't get tangled or pulled tight. Truman started videoing with our new video camera (we got a deal on it at eBay).
We put a pillow on my lap for support, and got Julian settled in a cross-cradle hold with my hand supporting his head. As his face neared my bare breast, he opened his mouth and I guided him onto my nipple. His mouth is so little, he can't get more than just my nipple, but that is ok at this stage of the game. He took my nipple in his mouth and sucked several times! OMG! We were amazed! He let go after a little bit and fussed. I tried hand-expressing a drop of milk for him, but I haven't mastered that! I let Julian try sucking again, and my milk let down. He sucked a little more, just a suck or two at a time, taking little breaks in between. But he did get some of my milk, because when he came off again, he had milk in his mouth!
Meanwhile, the nurse had started his tube-feed, so he could get the reward of a full tummy and maybe associate it with sucking at the breast! After a bit, he pooped his pants, and got fussy! Since his tube feed was done, I moved him so he could lay between my breasts. He settled for a bit, but then got fussy and let out a burp! LOL He's all male! But he must have felt better, because he settled again. A little later, I let him try sucking at the breast again. He did a little, but seemed more content to just snuggle. We got some great still pictures as well as the video! :)
February 17th. Julian is doing well. He got a little fluid in his lungs from the extra
oxygen he was given. They gave him medicine to make him pee out the extra fluid. He is doing fine though.
Presidents weekend update. Truman had President's Day as a paid holiday, so we planned to spend the long weekend at David's House again. Also, the kids had the week off for school vacation so there was no rush to get home before Monday night. This would give us Saturday, Sunday, and a good part of Monday to visit our baby.
The only drawback was that Eric and Jamie both had coughs, so they couldn't go in to see the baby. This meant we had to take turns---Truman would go in the NICU to see Julian, while I watched the boys in the family lounge, then we would switch. On Sunday afternoon, we found out that David's House had a list of volunteer baby sitters---we called people on the list, but it was very short notice, and the soonest we could get anyone was for Monday. A very nice lady named Julie came and watched our boys for an hour or so Monday, so we could both spend some time with Julian together and Truman could get some video footage!
When we go see Julian, we usually get to take his temperature, change his diaper, tube feed him, and hold him. As best we can, we try to get there at a time when he is regularly scheduled for a feed and change. This is important for a preemie, because they need lots of sleep to grow well, and they also can't handle too much stimulation at once. So plenty of down time is vital to their well-being, and the staff tries to keep the baby on a schedule, with a minimum of handling between feeds. At the same time, the staff recognizes how important the parents are, and they want us involved in the baby's care.
I have found that most nurses will let me just tell them what I want to do when we are there---i.e. a bath, a breast visit, or kangaroo care---and they will help me get set-up. I usually go ahead, get the baby changed and undressed, while the nurse brings a comfortable chair and the warmed breastmilk for Julian�s feed. If I give him a breast visit, he needs the reward of the milk filling his tummy as he nuzzles at the breast, so he will associate my breast with food. He is not yet strong enough to draw milk out of my breast yet, but he will get some in his mouth when I let down! Sometimes, but not necessarily every time we see Julian, I give him a breast visit. At times he is interested, but other times not really. I just follow his lead, and get him into whatever position makes him most comfortable, and sometimes he prefers to lie between my breasts. A few times he has spit up on me too! LOL If Truman is going to hold him, we don't do a breast visit first, but we let Julian kangaroo or cuddle with daddy while he's tube-fed.
Saturday, we had asked the day nurse to tell the night nurse that we would be back to see Julian at his 8 pm change/feeding. But when we arrived, the nurse had already changed him and was almost done his feed. I was a bit upset that she had not waited for us---we were NOT late, she started early---but she said she was told that we might or might not come, so she went ahead and did Julian first of the 3 babies she had in her care. I was surprised---the staff usually will do everything possible to involve the parents when we say we are planning to come. If we had still not arrived and it was 10 minutes late, I could see her going ahead, but that was not the case at all. We did complain about her to the day nurse Sunday morning (same nurse as Saturday), and she was surprised that the night nurse was like that! It seemed to be a case of misunderstanding, and the night nurse must have liked being ahead of the game or something, though I still think she should have waited a bit longer to see if we would get there. But from now on we will try even harder to make sure we are very clear about when we are coming, and that we want them to let us do the change and feed.
I gave Julian a tub bath late Sunday afternoon, but Truman had to watch the boys then. Truman had wanted to video the bath which would have been nice....except that Julian pooped in the bath water almost as soon as I put him in! So I had to take him right back out again! LOL He had spit-up stuck under the edges of the tapes on his cheeks that hold his nasal cannula in place. I really wanted to clean that up so he didn't smell so much like a cheese factory. The nurse helped me replace the worst tape, and we trimmed the other one. Julian looked and smelled so much nicer by the time we had his face all cleaned up! By then he was really hungry! He was giving lots of feeding cues, so I was snapping pictures to get them on camera. I got one very nice pic of him with his eyes wide open! The nurse warmed up his breastmilk, and I got him dressed and settled. We figured his bath was enough stimulation for this visit. We left him to sleep as his milk dripped in through his feeding tube.
On Monday, Pastor Tom and Rick (an elder) from our church came to see Julian. They came while the baby sitter was watching our kids in the lounge, and Truman and I had time to chat with the men which was very nice! Truman taped most of the visit, while we shared details about Julian's birth and how he has done so well since. I have been emailing weekly updates to Pastor Tom for him to forward and share with the church body. But it was nice to talk in person. They were amazed just how small Julian really is---most people have never seen a 2-3 pound baby, and it's hard to imagine! Rick took (with our permission) some pictures to be shared on the overhead projector in the church sanctuary! He said, "I can hear the ooooohhhh's and aaaaahhhh's and applause when I put these up!" The whole time we were chatting, I had Julian on my chest, skin-to-skin; his body was covered in a blanket, but his face was showing, and he stayed toasty warm and content!
For the weekend, we got in 2 visits on Saturday, 3 on Sunday and 2 on Monday! Although it was nice spending that much time with Julian, we felt sad that the kids were coughing too much to get to see their baby brother---I think the kids were a bit sad too. But they did enjoy staying at David's House. It still felt good to get home and sleep in our own beds though! I hope the boys get over their coughs soon!
I can hardly wait to get Julian home---it's hard having him away from me! At the same time, I know the hospital is the best place for him to be right now. He is getting expert care there, and right now I am glad he is on monitors that alarm if anything isn't quite right. Julian's issues are basic preemie issues, but he needs time to grow out of them. I know there will be an end to this NICU experience and he will come home one day---I dearly hope that will be before his due date!
February 22nd. He's up to 3 lbs 4 oz. He plateaued a few days ago, so they upped his feed amt slightly. Overall, they are happy with his wt gain---today I asked the resident in charge of his case. We have given him several breast visits now---sometimes he is interested, sometimes not. Today, he spit up ALL OVER me---I thought it was most of his feed (we tube feed him while he's at breast so he will associate a full tummy with the breast), but the nurse said it was ok that he spit up.
Sunday, February 26th. My incision has healed pretty well, though it still itches and drives me nuts! Recently I�ve had some problems with breast pain. I think it is an inflammation but not an infection. I get pretty decent sleep at night but pumping also bothers my back and shoulders a lot! My nipples point somewhat up (I know, TMI) but I have to lean forward for the milk to drip down into the collection bottles. Doing this 7 times a day it really gets to my upper back! Not to mention the sheer weight of my big old milk goddess boobs! But I'll do this any day just because Julian needs me to. And thank goodness for ibuprofen!
I can't wait to get him home---I think life will feel so much more settled then, even if I am getting up to feed him 3 times a night or more! I am a home-body, and I like being home and not having to run all over to do errands, appointments, etc every single day. The traveling gets to me after a while. But like I said, I will do it for Julian. I wish they could transfer him to the close hospital soon---then I could see him more with less traveling.
With the older kids in school and Truman having to work (second shift), we don't get to the big hospital everyday---it's too far to make the trip if we have anything else needing to be done that morning (things like dentist appts, chiropractic appts, getting groceries, WIC, and Truman has had many appts recently for his leg problem). We go up weekends----except yesterday, there was such a bad snowstorm, that Interstate 91 was shut down due to a 25 car pile-up!---and we hope to go up this afternoon after we clear the snow from our driveway! We usually go up twice a week also. Sometimes, we just need a day at home to kick back a little, so in one way, it was nice to be stuck home yesterday.
I felt so bad for not seeing Julian, but if he knew it wasn't safe for us to drive up there, he would want us home where we are safe! We did call and talk to his nurses several times. And I really did not relax any---LOL---I was busy cooking square meals for lunch and supper---it's been so long since I actually did that, it's usually grab something to reheat! And then I continued on the baby room between pumping. The room is coming, but there is still plenty to do. I am still trying to figure out the best thing to do with my sewing machine now that it is unburied. I'd like to keep it handy on a small table in the corner so I can use it sometimes, but not sure if I will really have the space for that. I washed baby clothes, and then found more that I had forgotten about! People have sent us some really cute stuff, and preemie size to boot!
Julian is now 3 pounds 9 ounces! WOOHOO!
In case you were wondering, preemies grow slower once they are outside the womb. first, like any other baby, they lose weight right after birth, and they have to regain that, usually in about a week. They don't eat right away, they are given nutrition through their IV. After they are stable enough, they start getting breastmilk, first a very tiny bit, then gradually more as they tolerate it. Their immature gut has to adjust to food, learn to digest it, and get nutrition from it---and it's different than what the baby gets through the umbilical cord, no digestion needed! Plus it takes a lot more calories to live outside the womb---the baby has to breathe, regulate his temp, digest food, AND grow. The baby in utero just had to grow at this stage of the game!
The drs are very happy with Julian's weight gain---I asked specifically about it. :)
He is wearing hospital shirts and sleepers---we lost one of his things already in the hospital laundry so I won't let them have anymore of his stuff. He is still on a high-flow nasal cannula, but they have reduced the amount of pressure and the amount of oxygen.
Of course we took the boys with us to visit Julian today. They were finally over their coughs, and we wanted to have some family time. We had arranged that Truman was going to give the baby a bath while I videoed it and the boys watched. Well, after being cough-free all morning, the boys staged a coughing fit right in front of the NICU receptionist---and of course they were NOT allowed to go in with us! Eric said to me, "well I want to play in the family lounge anyway!" I was so MAD! I had to call the baby-sitter who fortunately was home so she came over---and brought them new toys to play with! And the boys were SO happy! But I was still NOT! ---I missed the baby's bath! because I had to wait with the boys until the sitter came. I swear it's a conspiracy! Next time, I am arranging for the baby sitter in advance, whether the boys are over their coughs or not. If they don't want to see their brother that badly, fine, at least I can still go be with my baby! It's nice Truman is involved and wants to be with our baby too. But I want to be there with Julian as much as possible! After all, I am his MOMMY!
Monday. I talked to the resident in charge of Julian. We still don't know when Julian will come home. Maybe by his due date, but that really depends how well he does. Some staff say maybe sooner, others say maybe later----and no one can say for sure yet, not even the resident in charge of his care! It really depends on his breathing---he still needs oxygen, but they say that is very normal for a preemie born as early as he was. He is 6 wks old tomorrow, but he is 33 wks gestational age. The staff is happy with how he is doing on the whole. I wish he could come home very soon, but I know he has to be off oxygen and he needs to be apnea free first. Also, he is not strong enough to nurse yet. We offer the breast when I am there, but he only nuzzles. He can barely fit just the nipple in his tiny mouth! Forget any areola! I think though in a few weeks he will start being able to nurse a little. He is doing better with his weight gain now--he is up to 3 # 10.5 oz! I have around 400 oz of Breastmilk in the freezer for him!
A little funny: They told us that his bed gets changed at least once every day because he pees and or poops WHILE he's being changed! LOL This morning his nurse said the poop blasted out so hard while she changed him that it spattered on the isolette cover above him! LOL
