May 1st. Julian had his EI evaluation today. His language skills (mostly receptive) are at about 8 months. I�m not terribly surprised, as his older brothers were much the same way. His motor skills are between 9 and 11 months. This is not too bad, considering that his corrected age is about 12 months.
Julian is also getting better and better about eating solids. He willingly opens his mouth for the spoon, and we don�t have to trick him to get food in his mouth. He will eat up to � cup of food about twice a day, and often he will eat a smaller third meal. I usually give him baby cereal, with pureed fruit or veggies, and sometimes a little meat mixed in. He seems to do best with it if I mix new flavors into flavors he is already used to eating. I know that isn't how you are supposed to do it, but with Julian I have to do what ever works to get him to eat. :) I also make his cereal with cows milk instead of water, for more calories. He still needs his food to be pretty runny, like stage 1 and 2 baby food. Except for Gerber puffs which are still his favorite food by far, but they melt pretty easy!
May 8th. Today Julian was standing in his packNplay holding on to the top rail as he often does. He cruises around his packNplay and his crib quite regularly. Well, today he LET GO and stood without hanging on at all! Go, Julian! (and go mommy---as in you just better go get that addition done soon!)
May 10th. Last night, Julian stayed overnight at someone else�s house without me or daddy around. Actually, all 3 kids stayed with April and her family (April is the girl who I�ve been hiring as a mother helper/baby-sitter since January.) The reason for the sleepover is that I was given a Personal Achievement Award! It is a beautiful award clock, and it reads:
Presented to
Abigail Howard
Southwestern Community Services
by the
New Hampshire Community Action Association
For overcoming significant challenges and making great progress
toward achieving personal goals and self-sufficiency.
The Conference where I received my award was being held at the beautiful Mount Washington Hotel in Bretton Woods, NH. I was not actually attending the conference lectures, but Truman and I drove up there to attend the award ceremony. Dinner was provided for us (as well as breakfast the next morning). Following the dinner, the State Commissioner of Health and Human Services presented the awards.
What surprised me was that I had to give a little speech when I was given the award! My supervisor had told me to write a few notes about my "achievements" so she could introduce me, but that was it. I guess I expected to shake the commissioner's hand, say thank-you, and sit down again! LOL Well, 3 other people from other parts of the state also received similar awards. Fortunately I was second, and when the first woman gave her little speech, I leaned over and asked my supervisor if I had to make a speech. Apparently yes, but she only found out from her supervisor minutes before that, and decided not to make me panic by saying anything to me! OMG! So I panicked anyway! Then it was my turn to go up and receive my award. My supervisor took me up front---we had actually been seated at tables near the front that had been reserved for us, so it was just a few steps. She introduced me, then I had to speak.
It took me a few long moments to find my tongue, and then I nervously told the 200 or so people in the room that I didn't have any notes of what to say, because I had not known I had to give a speech! I think that broke the ice. :) Then I said that what came to mind was what someone once told me years ago: �That you can do anything you set your mind to��.and I think that�s what I have done. I said that I had my husband here with me, and 3 children at home. My kids all have developmental delays so I have worked hard to get them into whatever programs they need. Of course I breastfed them, since I am a BFing Peer Counselor! Although Julian was born very premature almost 16 months ago, and never was able to breastfeed successfully. I was determined he should have breastmilk....so I pumped---and still am pumping---for him almost 16 months later! People applauded when I said I breastfed my children, but you should have heard how the applause increased when I said that I pumped this long for Julian! It was great to get that response from people, because although WIC promotes breastfeeding, there were a lot of people there from other departments and I had no idea what their thoughts were on Breastfeeding---but obviously they were impressed! My mind was a bit of a blur because I was nervous and unprepared for giving a speech, but I know I did NOT mention anything about building my house or about the losses we went through before Julian that makes his survival so much more of a miracle. But I did say that I felt I could not have pumped as long as I have without the support from WIC (after all, they did provide me with the education for dealing with difficult breastfeeding situations and the breastpump I'm using!) My last words were "I help WIC, and WIC helps me"....and a lady at our table in the front gave me a huge thumbs up as the room exploded with more applause and cheers! WOW!
Then the Commissioner shook my hand and handed me my award clock, and we had to stand together for picture taking! I was shaking with nervous excitement for a long time after, but so many people told me that they thought my speech was just right, because I spoke from the heart. I was given lots of hugs from people from SCS, and I was introduced to several senior staff members as well!
SCS paid for the baby-sitter to take our kids overnight, plus they paid for a SUITE for Truman and me to spend the night! Our room had a Jacuzzi and a fireplace, and a gorgeous canopy bed that once belonged to a Princess (but I can't remember who)! Most people attending the conference had standard rooms, but we were told that our room was booked special for us. They said we deserved a special night for the two of us, since we have NEVER done anything like this before! Talk about being honored! Most everyone says I deserved it entirely. Being the modest person I am, I have a little trouble saying that I deserve anything, but I appreciate the recognition (who doesn't?). :)
The night was AWESOME! Our room was beautiful, and we definitely enjoyed the Jacuzzi.....and after <wink>.
The weather also has been absolutely beautiful---almost too hot for Spring! We enjoyed the lovely ride both up to and back from the Hotel. Although the pollen levels are high, and my darn allergies are acting up BIG time from riding along with the wind blowing in my face! I took lots of pictures this trip, and we also stopped at a gift shop to get some goodies for our kids. The kids had a wonderful time at the baby-sitters' house, but the older kids said they did miss me a little. I think Julian wore himself out---he slept for 5 hrs after we brought the kids home from the baby-sitters�!
May 11th. Today I attended a Mother�s Day Program at school, and when people clapped Julian clapped too! Yay! Not all the time, but he did it several times. :) I am pretty sure I saw him clap a little earlier this week, but I can�t remember what day it was.
Mother�s Day....was very lovely! The weather was beautiful and sunny although the wind was rather cold. We took the kids to North Conway NH for a train ride. It's about a 3 hr drive one way to get to the train, so NOT something we would do often at all. But they had a Mothers Day special, where mom can ride the train for free if her kids are with her! We left home about 4 hrs before we should be there at the train station, which was very fortunate because on the way our car's low coolant light came on and the engine temp began to rise. We took the next exit and bought some coolant, and after that all seemed ok. I was praying we would not have a breakdown---we were worried about the time our car blew the head gasket on a much shorter trip. The new gaskets we had put in are supposed to be a better gasket material than the old ones were, but I still want to have them checked by the garage this week to make sure nothing has started leaking. So thank God we made the rest of our trip safely after putting in a little extra coolant. And we made it to the train station in time to get our reserved tickets. Then we shopped in the gift shop for a bit. The kids each have some money in savings, so we let them buy some things they wanted with their own money. They said they wanted to buy me something for mother's day, and they decided on some pretty rocks. LOL I found some earrings, which dh bought me. I asked the kids if they would buy me the earrings, but they said they were buying me rocks instead (no, not rocks as in diamonds). :)
Anyway, we enjoyed our train ride---the most fun for me was seeing how much fun the kids had! Afterwards, we drove through the White Mountains, and we showed the kids the Mount Washington Hotel where we stayed the night last week. We also stopped at another gift shop because we remembered that we had forgotten to get a gift for our baby-sitter. Their family is the earthy-organic-healthfood type of people, so we found pretty-shaped organic goat-milk soap, and a carved wooden pen for her. The kids helped me pick them out, and I hope she'll like these.
The drive home was just as beautiful as the drive up. I like this time of year, when the new leaves are popping out on the trees. It makes everything so fresh and green, even if it also means that the pollens are high---which of course I am allergic to many pollens. UGH! So I am still sneezing and wiping my nose. Oh well, nothing is quite perfect. As if having allergies wasn't enough, my first period after having Julian decided to show up at 4 am on Mother's Day too! Kind of a surprise, since I never got periods with either of the older two, until I weaned them. They were around this age. Now I am wondering if they actually weaned because my hormones changed to start my periods---some say that the hormone changes will change the taste of your milk and many babies do not like the change. Others say that the hormone change will cause a drop in milk supply too. I am still pumping 4 times a day and getting ~17 ounces of milk per day, which seems like a lot when you consider my peak production was ~24 oz per day. Julian still likes my milk plenty fine, and I am still pumping the same amount as I was a week or more ago, so not sure.....maybe it's all wives tales. LOL Anyway, too bad pumping didn't keep AF away longer----it's something I could do without for a while longer. :P
May 14th. Julian was seen by the SLP again today. She is very pleased with the progress he has made on eating solid foods. He's still mostly eating purees and thin cereal. She wants me to try making it a little thicker to get him to try more textures. She said that she re-read the reports from the development specialists at DHMC who saw Julian, and she thinks we really need to remember that he is developmentally delayed. If his development is behind, then we can't expect his eating abilities to be on target for his age. Since he's developing more slowly, we need to allow him more time to master eating and swallowing. He may have some texture aversions compounding things here, but in time he will likely get over those too.
The nutritionist of course is concerned about making sure Julian gets enough nutrition to grow and gain weight as he should. It's a bit tough to balance what he can eat with what he needs for his growth. We are going to try adding a little canola oil to his cereal for some extra fat.
May 17th. We took all three kids to the geneticist at DHMC. For the older two it was a follow-up visit. For Julian, it was a first visit. The geneticist is intrigued by the strong family history of delays exhibited in all three boys. She says there is new research all the time, and new testing being developed, so someday we may find out what caused it. It is not obviously inherited from either Truman or myself, although I do have suspicions about Truman having an undiagnosed mental delay (which more and more people are noticing and asking me about). If whatever the boys have is inherited from Truman, then it has to be genetic, but the drs have no proof that it is (or is not) connected to the deletion in the Y-chromosome which all our boys and Truman have. It could as easily be something else that doesn�t have a name or research to back it up. We don�t know yet, but I think it would be nice to find out if possible. I always like finding the root of a problem, but meantime we just deal with the current issues as best we can, which means the boys get whatever therapy they need.
The geneticist decided to do a new test on Jamie, since the earlier genetic testing was done on him first. Based on the results, she will decide if we need to do more testing on anyone else for comparison. So we are not doing genetic testing on Julian yet. I think she said this test is looking specifically for something X-linked. Anyway, Jamie was quite scared to go in the lab, but once the needle was in his arm, he calmed down immediately and watched his blood fill the 3 vials! LOL
May 22nd. I�ve decided to stop pumping within the next 5 weeks. We are going on vacation June 30th, and will be visiting relatives for a week. We want to be able to do some things with our family, and I'd rather not have to 1) lug the breastpump along, and 2) arrange our schedule around when I need to pump next. I would also like to be able to start my day without spending the first hour pumping, and it sounds wonderful to be able to go to bed whenever without having to pump one last time!
Julian is now 16 months, and although he still takes a lot of breastmilk (about 17 ounces a day), I think I can increase his cows milk intake as well as his solids. I will double check with the nutritionist, and if she thinks I should still give some formula I can do that too, since solids are not yet the majority of Julian's nutrition.
But I really want to be done pumping---at this point I am still at 4 pumps a day. It hit me that vacation time would be a good goal to be done by, and I think the next 5 weeks is enough time for me to wean off. So I have made my decision.
Of course, knowing me, I may be second-guessing my decision. But I know I have done a wonderful thing to pump this long for Julian, and I have surpassed my goal of 15 months. The end of June will be 17.5 months which is longer than I nursed either of my other kids. So I am going to try to get through this weaning period in one piece. :)
May 29th. Julian has learned to stand up in his high-chair too! It has a belt, but I cannot figure out how to attach it to the high chair properly to actually hold Julian---the belt slots seem designed to fasten the seat of the high-chair onto a regular chair so you could use the seat without the high-chair legs. But I think there should be a belt to hold the baby in the seat---but I can't see where it goes! Of course, I don't have the instruction booklet, since I got the high-chair used. And now Julian can climb out of the seat, so we have to watch him super careful!
Julian still has NO words yet. He makes a few sounds, such as da-da-da-da-da-da, mum-mum-mum-mum-mum, and ni-ni-ni-ni-ni-ni, but he does not use them for anything or anyone in particular. At his most recent Early Interventions Assessment, they said he was definitely delayed in language---he doesn't even respond to words he hears as you would expect, but he did pass his hearing tests. This is not new to me--he is following along a similar path that my older two did.
He seems to be a fairly laid back kid most of the time, but if he doesn't like something he will surely let you know! He's also my "stripper" and loves to take off any clothes he can. If I don't put a onesie on him, he can get his diaper off. He routinely pulls pants off, so I use overalls when I need him to keep pants on. He pulls off his soft shoes (I don't have any hard-soled shoes for him yet), and he pulls off socks as fast as possible! He doesn't take shirts off, unless they open in the front, which kind he can get off.
He is crawling well now, and can go pretty fast. I had him with me at the WIC office today, and he had a grand time, crawling around my supervisor's office and then down the hallway! :) It was a slow day, and no clients came in, so we got plenty of work done (mostly pump paperwork). Julian also pulls up to stand and sometimes will let go for a few seconds. But he is not walking. Again, he is following a similar path that my older two did.
May 30th. If you remember, at the end of April I was trying to sell on Ebay the new baby girls clothes that I have. I didn�t have much luck, only sold three auctions of bigger sizes (toddler to 5T). Ebay had another listing sale on May 24th, so I listed 4 auctions of infant girls clothes. Today, three of the four auctions sold, all with Buy-It-Now! Woohoo! If the fourth auction doesn�t sell, I will not list it again. Maybe I will use it for a gift for someone, it is brand new with tags still on it.
This is a bright spot to my day---I feel like crud. I am ovulating, and it is SO PAINFUL! Most women I know complain of PMS, but I rarely ever get PMS. Instead I have the worst ovulation pain, which usually lasts up to 4 days! UGH. At least I know when I am ovulating, but it really stinks. Most people feel frisky while ovulating, but I turn into a horrid B-I-T-C-H! :P
June 2nd. I am down to pumping only twice a day, about 12 hrs apart. Wow, this is really manageable! I usually pump soon after I get up, but that varies a bit---like today I slept in until almost 9 am! No more getting up early to pump! I pump the second time in the evening---I can pump about anytime I want to after supper, but it no longer has to be the very last thing I do before going to bed. I actually like having the chance to sit down and relax while pumping.
So I'm having some second thoughts about stopping pumping completely. :) Although I really wish Julian had been able to breastfeed, there has been something very motivating about providing breastmilk for him. I know it has tremendous health benefits for him, and there were times when he was sick that breastmilk was all he could keep any of in his little tummy.
The nutritionist/IBCLC says that breastmilk is no longer complete nutrition for him---he needs more of certain nutrients that he should get from solid foods. But we do have him on a very complete vitamin supplement to give him those nutrients (zinc and folic acid are two I specifically remember that she said are low in breastmilk for a child Julian's age). I do notice that breastmilk is so digestible compared to cows milk or solid foods---so much so that Julian gets hungry a lot faster when he has just breastmilk, and he also poops less. We've really been pushing him to increase his solid intake, and I am giving him more cows milk as I cut back on pumping breastmilk. But we just looked at his growth chart again, and his weight-gain has slowed in the past few months, at the same time we are pushing him to take more solids.
Cows milk has twice as much protein in it as breastmilk has, which is good and also is one reason it takes longer to digest. But cows milk should never be 100% of any person's diet, as it lacks in iron and can cause anemia. Certain solid foods have iron, especially meats and legumes. But I think that Julian just isn't getting as much total nutrition from solids as he gets from milk (well, breastmilk anyway). As we've pushed him to take more solids, I think he fills up faster but gets less total calories for the volume he eats. Plus I notice that the solids make Julian poop a lot more than he did when just getting breastmilk. Breastmilk is so digestible, that there is often little waste left over.
Like I said, his weight gain has also slowed. He had lost more than a pound when he had RSV in early April. On April 19th, he weighed 15 pounds 14 ounces, which was down from (I think) about 17 pounds on March 27th. He was weighed again, but at a different drs office, on May 17th and he still weighed 15 pound 14 ounces. So he has NOT regained the weight he lost when he had RSV. In fact, he is still less than he weighed on March 7th---then he was 16 pounds 8.5 ounces! This means he has really fallen off his growth curve in the last 3 months.
The bottom line is that I am just not sure that pushing more solids on him is really helping him continue gaining weight like he should! We are trying some things to sneak extra calories into him, but it's not been easy. We tried putting some canola oil into his cereal, but it just upset his tummy. So we cut back from 1 tsp in a 1/4 cup food to about 1/4 tsp, and he seems ok with that. We are also adding 1 TB of milk powder to 4 ounces of cows milk. The nutritionist suggested taking Julian outside for a half hr daily to play, so he gets sunshine for Vitamin D, and fresh air to stimulate his appetite. It's hard though when it is so buggy out----it's black-fly season here. :P
Anyway, I am glad I am still pumping some breastmilk for Julian, and at this rate I may or may not be done by June 30th. I'll see how it goes in the next few weeks. BTW, today I turned 34 for the third time---LOL!
June 5th. Julian has now figured out how to unsnap his onesie, then he stripped his diaper right off. And here I thought he couldn�t get that diaper off if I had a onesie on him! Wrong! Of course he was so pleased with himself! And of course I didn't have the camera handy---I'll have to try catching him doing it again. This is a new thing for me---neither of my other kids cared much for stripping. LOL
Julian's other most recent accomplishment is screeching at the top of his lungs---just making noise, then he pauses for effect! LOL I swear he is thinking to himself, "did you just hear that?" :)
Julian�s current favorite things are watching the CARS movie, and playing with TV/VCR remotes. He�s ALL MALE! Julian will watch CARS over and over again---sometimes it's the only way I can keep him happy while I cook dinner and do the dishes (and Truman is on homework detail). Since he loves holding the remotes, just like daddy, we decided to give him his own---an old one for a VCR we no longer have! Sometimes it is good to hang on to old stuff, you never know when it will come in handy! LOL!
June 12th. Julian has two more teeth (that makes 6 now), and I think he�s working on two more (which would make 8 when they break through)! He�s got the two teeth either side of his middle incisors on the bottom gum. On Sunday, June 10th, I found that the left one had broken through, and the right one broke through today!
Julian seems to be sleeping through the night (several nights in a row) now, and I don't like it at all! I mean, the sleep is nice, but I wasn't missing all that much sleep giving him a bottle or two at night.
I really think he NEEDS to have those bottles, because we are trying to get him to regain the weight he lost when he had RSV. He still weighs less than he weighed in early March before he got RSV. I track what he eats and I don't see him eating more during the day to make up for not having those bottles at night. He never drinks more than 3-4 ounces at a time, and he still eats small amounts of solids--usually not even a whole 4 ounce jar in one sitting.
Aside from setting an alarm and making both him and me wake up for a bottle, I'm not sure what to do. I usually sleep through alarms anyway---I sleep through Truman�s alarm every morning, so not sure an alarm would work. It is usually Julian's crying that wakes me up. Although daylight streaming in the window also wakes me up. But I think Julian sleeping from 9 pm to 6 am is NOT a good thing for him at this point---I think he should have at least one 4-oz bottle in the middle there. :P
June 15th. Well, now he's waking up again and taking 1-2 bottles during the night. :) I do feel better about that!
In other matters, big changes have come to our house lately! About a week ago, I finished varnishing the trim in our new bedroom---and then we moved in! Soon after, I moved all the toys from the LR into our old bedroom. This is temporary until we can get the playroom finished. But I REALLY need space NOW for Julian to crawl and cruise.
It was grueling work, getting the LR completely clean! I spent about 10 hrs each day on Saturday and Sunday working on it, but it still wasn�t completely done. What was so hard is that the kids had dropped so many toys on the floor and these then got pushed into the corners, under the sofa and rocker, under the table and chairs, and even some under my organ. All of this little stuff---legos, marbles, play coins, crayons, hotwheel cars, game pieces, plastic animals, train tracks, happy meal toys, etc, etc, etc---gets all mixed together (with a few candy wrappers and cat hair thrown in for good measure) and it takes so long to sort it all out again and get things into the right boxes again.
The kids helped some, but I did most of it. I even pulled the sofa out from the wall and cleaned under it completely, even mopping the floor. Unfortunately, we discovered that the kittens had gone poop and pee under the sofa, where no one saw it until I found it today. YUCK! I had to toss some ruined toys and drawing paper too. Well, now that the floor is clear again, I'll be able to keep an eye on it and act quickly if the kittens do it again. I threw out two kitchen trash bags full of trash, mostly broken toys and packaging that the kids tend to keep for awhile when they get new toys. Plus I had a large pile of recyclable cardboard and paper to get rid of.
When I finally finished getting the last of the toys picked up and sorted and moved to the other room, I then did a very through cleaning of the LR floor, such as it hasn�t seen in a VERY long time! I scrubbed it on hands and knees, and washed it down with an odor-removing sanitizer. But it still had a grayish look to it. So then I bleached the entire floor. I worked in small sections, pouring some bleach on, then rinsing it after it sat for 5 minutes or so. The chlorine residue evaporates, so we opened the windows and aired the house well. The following evening I put Julian down on the now very clean floor to crawl around. He was in heaven with his new-found freedom! He just LOVED having all that space to play! I took pictures, trying to capture the glee on his face! :)
June 22nd. I might as well stop proclaiming that things are crazy at my house, and I should just accept it as the "new normal"! LOL
I am still trying to get things organized, since we got our new bedroom livable. I knew it would be a big project, and I think it's coming well, but not fast enough for my liking. I have boxes of stuff to sort, and piles of this-and-that here-and-there, but I am determined to get it all done. I think the most important thing is to create places for things to go, and then I can insist on everyone doing their part to keep things picked up and put away. It takes time to get things the way I want it, but I think once it�s organized, it will be easier to keep things that way. I also have a bit more baby-proofing to do in the living room; Julian isn't interested in those things yet, but it's a matter of time. And now I am trying to prepare for vacation too!
I'm still pumping twice a day, but since I had my period last week, my supply is dropping. I don't want to increase pumping time, so I guess I'll just get what I can pump and that will be it. With the older two, they weaned around the time my cycles returned, so this is new territory and I don't know what to expect for me. I know some pumping moms say that once their cycles came back, they struggled with milk supply, but others don't seem to have any problem besides sore nipples---which of course I have sore nipples too!
I am also losing weight! Woohoo! Finally! I hate being heavy, but I wanted to make sure I could get enough milk for Julian, so I didn't dare diet. I'm not dieting now, but it is summer time, and in the heat I am not as hungry. That coupled with the work I do is translating into weight-loss. I've lost 7 pounds, and hope to lose 20 before the end of summer. 30 lost would put me at what I think is a great weight, but those last 10 are negotiable. :)
June 25th. Julian can stand without holding on! I caught it on camera today! He was holding onto toys and he let go of the shelf he was standing near. No steps yet, but I bet he�ll try that before we know it!
June 30th. Today we are going on vacation. Last night I was SO tired, I skipped pumping late in the evening. Then I woke up engorged around 5 am, and pumped about 9 ounces of milk! LOL I've been getting about 12 ounces per day lately, but realize that more than half of that should have been pumped last night! Of course Julian has been eating like food and milk are going out of style, so I hope he's putting on some good weight! He ate solids plus nearly 34 ounces of milk yesterday! His average milk intake is usually around 20-22 ounces per day, plus solids. The nutritionist says he should have about 18 ounces of milk per day, but even with solids, he still loves his milk! Milk is packed with nutrition, and he needs it, so I refuse to force him to cut back on milk yet! About half of his milk is breastmilk, and the other half is cows milk---no I don't mix them in the same bottle.
July 9th. I just got back from vacation. I did not quit pumping before we left.....although I originally planned to, I found I really wasn't ready. Good thing too, because sometimes fresh breastmilk was the only thing I could give Julian when he was hungry and we were in the car. :)
Anyway, I took my PIS, instead of my Lactina rental, because the PIS is smaller and easier to lug around. Previous to this trip, I only used the PIS in my car (as a passenger), but during vacation, I also used the PIS in the house. My point being that I had not previously used the PIS for all pumping, but only on occasion. During vacation, I pumped 2-3 times each day, working around whatever we were doing, so not always the same times.
So 4 or 5 days ago, I developed a crack in my right nipple! I never had a crack like this before. It is located at the base of the nipple in the 12 o'clock position. It is horizontal and about 1/4 inch long. It starts to heal closed, but every time I pump, it opens right back up! OUCH. The pain is toe-curling for at least 10 minutes, even on low suction, and then I seem to be able to stand it but just barely while I finish pumping. I�m not sure what to do, but I refuse to quit pumping over this----anyway, I would get plugged ducts if I quit cold-turkey and I want to avoid that.
July 12th. Since I got home, I have been using only the Lactina rental instead of the PIS I used while away on vacation. There is definitely a difference in pumping comfort. The Lactina is so much gentler than the PIS. I can turn the Lactina to 3/4 of full suction, and it doesn't hurt as much as the PIS does at half suction. I really think the PIS caused me to develop the crack in the first place, since I was using it 2-3x daily while away, and I have never used it that much before (previously I used it only a couple times in a week at most, and only in the car).
Anyway, since APNO was suggested by several people, I called the compounding pharmacy we have in the next town over from me, to see if they would even make it. The woman knew what I was talking about, in fact she made some up for another patient earlier that day! She told me to ask my dr to call in a prescript for me. My PCP has moved out of town so I don't have one anymore, but I called the OB/gyn office. The nurse had to call me back, but they had no problem calling in a prescript.
I went to pick it up, knowing that my drug insurance does not allow us to use compounding pharmacies. The woman said the APNO "doesn't cost that much", so I thought maybe $15-20. I nearly fell over when she said it was $55! But I paid for it out of pocket anyway. The tube is huge, and will likely last me till I die! LOL I hope there are other uses for it even after I stopping lactating! The woman said it will keep for very many years, especially if I put it in a zip lock bag in the refrigerator to store it. I don't know why they can't make smaller tubes---a little goes a long way! Oh, well. :)
So since I have been using this APNO, my nipple crack is healing famously. I put the ointment on both nipples after pumping, and it is so soothing! I have not located the Vigilon hydrogel wound dressing one lady suggested, but at this point the APNO combined with using the Lactina instead of the PIS seems to be doing the trick.
Now Truman is asking me when I plan to stop pumping altogether. I don't know...... I already changed my mind about stopping before vacation, and I am so glad I still had breastmilk, especially when we were in the car and I had no place to warm up some cows milk for Julian (who hates cold milk, it has to be at least room temp for him---I know I need to work on that, but vacation wasn't the time to put up with him being miserable about a change like that).
Truman recently said very plainly that he wants to try for one more baby. Part of me wants to, BUT I don't think I am quite ready to jump into it again, not just yet. For 1) I want the addition DONE FIRST, and 2) I have some worries about going through pg again unless my drs can come up with a treatment plan to deal with my risks. We've talked about adoption, but the more I learn about it, the less feasible an option it is. For one thing, we already have several children of our own, and for another we don't make a lot of money. We can live fairly frugally, but they look at your actual income rather than how far you can stretch it. So I don't know....I still wish I had a little girl, I've wanted one of my own ever since my mother told me I would definitely NOT be getting a sister of my own (that was 24 years ago). Boys are fine in their way, but it isn't the same. Daughters-in-law are not the same either. Whatever we decide, I do know I need to stop pumping before ttc, just because of my pg risks.
At the same time, I like having breastmilk for Julian, it's just SO good for him! He is doing a lot better with eating solid foods, but milk is still a large part of his diet (more than half) so I prefer that some of that milk is breastmilk and not all cows milk. Julian has his 18 mo check-up next week, so I can't wait to see how much weight he put on---he really needs to! Maybe after that I think I will have a better idea how much more I want to keep pumping. I am amazed how hard it is to stop! The older kids weaned when they decided they had enough of nursing. But I don't think Julian really cares if I pump MM or not---he takes his bottle with whatever I put in it! So it really is up to me!
It is such a hard decision. It would be easier if I just dried up, or if he was refusing to nurse or if he was biting me and making me want to stop. But I still have milk, and I can't just stop cold-turkey or I'll get horribly engorged. So I have to keep cutting back gradually. I am kind of afraid to go to only one pump a day. It's psychological for me I guess---I've provided him this wonder-food for so long, it's hard to give it up. I worry he might get a cold after I stop pumping, and then I won't have breastmilk to give him....and I'll wish I hadn't stopped pumping. It's probably silly to think that. But then there is something powerful in the idea that only I can give him this healthful breastmilk that is made specifically for him! :)
July 14th. Separation anxiety has officially begun at our house! :P Julian cries every time I leave the room, even if someone else is still there with him. If Truman or I is sitting at the table, he tries to crawl up in our laps to be held, and he cries pitifully if he can't climb up without our help.
Julian also has another tooth---that makes 7. But this time, it is not a front tooth as I was expecting. Instead he has cut a molar! It�s on his bottom left. I wonder if this explains the fussy night he had about a week ago, when he woke up around midnight, and just wouldn�t settle for more than an hour, even after having his usual bottle of milk. The next morning he had some goop in his eyes, but that cleared quickly with no other symptoms.
This week, I received a copy of his May evaluation for Early Interventions. As I was reading it, I noted that we said Julian was a very quiet baby. Well, that has certainly changed! This kid has become such a chatter box lately! He says da-da-da-da-da-da-da to everything, and yes it is just a big long string of da-. It is pretty much all he says, but he's got quite a bit of tonal variation. Occasionally we get some fussing that sounds like "mumumumum".
July 18th. Julian went for his 18 month check-up today. He weighs 8.3 kilos which is 18 lbs 5 ounces! That means he has regained all the weight he lost when he had RSV..... PLUS he has gained enough to get back on the same curve he was on previous to getting sick with RSV! That is great, considering that his weight is still below the bottom of the growth chart.
He is 30 1/2 inches long---I KNEW he was getting long, because you could tell by his clothes! His height is in the 10th percentile---and that is NOT correcting for prematurity anymore! YAY!
His head circumference is 46 1/4 cm, which is in the 15th percentile! (NOT correcting for prematurity either). Of all my kids, he has the BIGGEST HEAD! So no worries about microcephaly with Julian. Jamie has microcephaly and Eric is borderline. We are not sure if it was part of the reason for their developmental delays, but Julian is delayed too. Of course he was premature too, but he's a bit further delayed than that. I told the doctor that Julian is normal for our family! LOL
Julian is doing well considering everything. He is mobile and loving it, even though he's not ready to walk yet. He is babbling up a storm although he does not have any real words yet. He says long strings of "da-da-da..." to everything! But we are also getting some other sounds now, a mixture of various vowels and some consonants. And he is as strong willed as ever!
He did get one shot today, but he was so good, he did not scream at all. As the nurse drew the needle back out, he fussed a little, but stopped quickly. He then fought her putting the bandaid on his leg! What a turkey!
July 24th. Julian developed a bit of a cough yesterday, then he threw up last night. Not sure what this is about. Anyway, I am awfully glad I still have some breast milk for him, since he usually keeps that down better than cows milk when sick. I will have to thaw some from my small freezer stash to feed him during the night tonight. But this afternoon, he seemed to be on the mend.
July 27th. Julian got his next tooth---the bottom molar on the side opposite the first molar he got a couple weeks ago. That makes 8 teeth now! The funny thing is that he has 6 on the bottom, but only 2 on the top! He is beginning to chew food though. If I give him anything crunchy, I can hear him bite into it with his front teeth, then he tends to chew it with those front teeth. He�s not yet very good at mashing food in the back of his mouth.
He is showing a great interest in the foods I eat now. He reaches for my food and yells until I give him some. He has tried some interesting things lately, including lettuce from my salad! He has tried pieces of plain bread, french toast, pretzels, strips of watermelon, and some other veggies, both raw and steamed (lettuce, tomato, sugar snap peas, zucchini). I watch him closely, and so far he has not choked on any of these things. He may swallow a little bit, but mostly he spits out the chunks that he can't manage. I am still feeding him purees so I know at least those foods are being swallowed. He has also decided that now he loves ice cream and yogurt (the first few times he had those, he was NOT impressed, but spit it out with grimaces of disgust!)
Tonight he said his first real word! He said �Meow!� At least it really sounded like it. He was playing near the door, and one of our cats was sitting there wanting to go out. The cat said "meow" and then Julian (while looking straight at her) said it back to her! Seriously! Although when he said it the "m" sound was missing, so it was more of "eow"----but that IS exactly how it sounded when the cat said it! He said his first true word in context! I can hardly believe it! LOL
August 2nd. I think Julian is starting to call me �Dada�. He will look at me, reach for me, and yell, �Dada�. I point to myself, and say, �Mama�, but he still says �Dada�. LOL
I will be happy when he has more words to express himself. Many times he will want something, and just start SCREECHING. Sometimes we don�t know what he wants, but often if we are observant, we can see that he wants something he can�t quite get himself. He may want his bottle that has rolled under the couch out of his reach, or he may want his Gerber snacks that are on the table. We do have to be careful about leaving anything where he can reach it on the table. He does not climb chairs yet, but he has been able to snatch bowls and other things that were left too near the edge of the table!
August 6th. This afternoon at one point, Julian got fussy. It had been a couple hours since he last ate, so I though he might want some milk. But before I give him a new bottle, I make a practice of locating his old bottle, in case it still has any milk in it. I don't want old bottles with milk sitting around and I don't want him to get an old bottle mixed up with a fresh bottle. Most of the time, he did empty his last bottle, and it has rolled under the sofa or coffee table or some such place. But I still need to put it to be washed.
So anyway, I said to Julian, Where's your bottle? I got down on my hands and knees to look under the sofa, but I did not see it there. Then I crawled over to the coffee table to look under there. Next thing I know, Julian comes crawling out from under the dining table---with his bottle hanging from his mouth, the nipple clenched in his teeth!
I just cracked up! For one thing, he looked so funny like that, but for another, he really understood me and went and got his bottle and brought it to me! LOL
August 7th. Biting. The one thing you hope your baby NEVER starts doing. I mean, biting people. Unfortunately, Julian bit me today. I was holding him, snuggled against me, and he often lays his head on my shoulder. But today, he bit my shoulder with his little front teeth instead. Ouch! I now have a bruise the size of my fingernail where he bit me!
August 14th. I have been trying to get Julian to transition to a sippy cup. He loves his bottles, but recently he has been making them leak all over the place. Ugh! He sucks on the bottle for a while, but then I think he blows into it, and the milk leaks out the air valves in the nipple. At least that is the only explanation I can think of. I make sure the nipple collar is screwed on tight, and it is not leaking when I give it to him. But when he stops sucking to catch his breath, milk starts leaking from under the collar---I think it has to be coming out of the air valves. He often just holds the bottle with his teeth, and plays with it, and when it starts leaking milk, he smears it all around---I think he really enjoys it. UGH! The other thing he does is turn the bottle upside down and either shake it or push the nipple down onto the floor, so milk squirts out---then he smears the milk around. In our house, this is known as �painting� with milk, and I remember the older boys doing it with their bottles when they were about this age too. I HATE it! The only thing I know to do is to get them to use sippy cups which can�t leak like this and make a mess of milk; then they can�t �paint�.
I have Avent soft spouts with can be used in a bottle in place of the nipple, or in an Avent cup. But Julian is NOT AT ALL happy about drinking out of the soft spouts. He has always been resistant to changes, so this is true to form for him. I had hoped he would see that he can still easily drink the milk by sucking on the spout, he just can�t paint with it. I guess the different shape of the spout is what he has a problem with. :P
In other news, Julian has a new word! It is "ut-oh!" He's said it several times now, and according to the other boys, he says it after he hears it said by a cartoon character on TV! LOL
August 17th. And now he has another word! I figured out that he is saying �ca-ca� for cracker. He pointed to the box of crackers when he said it, so I said it back to him, and he repeated it while pointing to the box of crackers again. I gave him a cracker, and he was very pleased. When he was done with it, he asked for another one. I gave him more, but I soon found that he was just playing with them and crushing them! Naughty kid! But I think he was having fun asking for them and getting me to give them to him! Of course I was very pleased that he had a new word! All the next day, he kept practicing his new word, asking for �ca-ca�! LOL
He does not yet have a word (or recognizable sound) for milk, but he sure gets excited when I give him a bottle that he wants. If he doesn't want it, he just pushes it away, or in some cases he even throws it! :)
August 29th. Julian is trying more and more new foods. He sees me eating something and will point and screech at the top of his lungs until I give him some to try. Many foods he will put in his mouth, but then decide the taste or texture or something isn�t too his liking, then he will spit it out again, and in some cases throw it on the floor! Good thing one of our cats loves to scavenge for this food---he will eat almost anything, including peas and zucchini squash! But not everything gets rejected by Julian. Some foods he really likes include pickles, marshmallows, chocolate, and corn on the cob!
Oh, and spaghetti! He had the greatest time eating spaghetti noodles (I did not give him sauce because tomato products give him a nasty diaper rash). One night Julian had been fed already and was playing on the floor, but he was demanding that I give him something off my plate. So I gave him a spaghetti noodle. He LOVED it, and clamored for more. He was so funny trying to get the noodles into his mouth, that I grabbed the camera, and took lots of pictures! Finally I put him into his high-chair because he kept dropping pieces of noodles on the floor. He would pick them up to eat, but they were all dirty, yuk! He ate quite a lot of noodles before he was done! I admit I was surprised how much he enjoyed the noodles---I had thought he wouldn't like the texture, but I sure was wrong on that!
September 5th. Tonight I finally gave Julian his first hair cut! Now he actually looks like a boy! LOL
I also found that Julian has two more teeth! He cut one top molar (left side) and the next tooth beside the center teeth, also on his top left. Well, that explains his clinginess and crankiness of late!
His gum is definitely swollen on the top right, so I bet that molar isn't far behind.
Our nutritionist wants me to get him weaned off night-time bottles. She worries about his teeth. So I am watering down his milk, until we get it all water in those night time bottles. We just started this, and it's going ok so far, but it's still mostly milk in the bottle and it is early yet to tell. I am trying to get him to eat enough during the day so he will still get all the calories he needs without the milk at night.
He has been busy asserting himself---spitting out food he normally likes, throwing food, waving his arms around while I try to feed him so he knocks the food off the spoon. I need a pair of baby hand-cuffs for him---LOL.
We also try to encourage him to walk while holding our hands, but he will have none of it! He just yanks his hands from ours, and gets down on his knees to crawl. He is a lightning crawler, and I guess he figures it works for him so why walk? I hope he walks by the time he turns 2. :P
September 8th. We were invited to David's House ( http://www.davids-house.org/) today for "something special and exciting".
So we went, and after we got there, this woman came in and explained that EXTREME MAKEOVER HOME EDITION was building a house for a family in Bellow's Falls, VT. As part of the filming, some families (ours included) were being asked to do some art-work. They supplied canvas boards and paint, and the children were to paint any kind of picture they wanted to. The kids also put their names, age, and a title on the back of their painting. The Extreme Makeover camera crew filmed the kids painting their pictures. Even Julian got to paint---he smeared some paint on his board, then tried to eat the paint! Fortunately it was NON-TOXIC paint!
Ty Pennington and Paige from the show were there, and they came in to see the pictures the children made---and get this!.....they signed the children's T-shirts! WOW! Then after the art work was done, we went outside, and people were taking pictures, and I asked Ty if we could have a picture of him with our kids. And then Dick Cyr (the founder of David's House) offered to take a pic of our whole family with Ty!!! Can you believe it?
We also met the family who the house is being built for. VERY nice people! They have two children, and the younger son is severely disabled, so their new house will be incredible for them. No, I haven't seen the house---it is in Bellows Falls, VT, but David's House is in Lebanon, NH. The parents were so excited about the children's artwork, and absolutely loved Julian's finger-painting! (he was by far the youngest child there). They wanted to hold Julian, and hug him, and the lady kept thanking us for coming, and I was just like Wow! We went because the executive director at David's House asked us to come, and we would do anything for her!
So I don't know just how the artwork will be used, but I think we will find out when the show airs. They said it would be in about a month, but to be sure, we should look for the listing to say "Vitale family".
A few days later, I found out that Mrs. Vitale is an artist, and they are using painting as a form of therapy for their son---here is their website: http://www.angelboyart.com/ We have been told that the pictures the kids painted at David�s House were displayed this week at a special art show in Brattleboro, VT, in honor of the Vitales.
I don't know more than that, but can't wait to see the Extreme Makeover episode when it airs! The season premiere is Sept 30th, but from what I heard, I do NOT think the Vitale house is the first show.
September 10th. Julian is finally gaining some confidence to take a few steps! Woohoo! Tonight he took about 2 steps towards me and grabbed my leg! Of course, when I tried to get him to do it again so I could try taking pictures, he would have none of it! LOL So hopefully in the next few days I will try to get some pictures of him taking steps. But at least I have documented that he took a couple steps tonight!
He starts play-group tomorrow, 2 hrs one morning a week. I bet he will walk more and more when he sees the other toddlers walking around!
His fourth molar, the one on the upper right, has also broken through. Now he has 11 teeth.
September 11th. Julian had a ball today at playgroup! He fussed a second or two when I set him down on the floor, but then he saw the "new-to-him" toys, and began playing with a little fire-truck. His teacher said he had a wonderful morning. He was happy enough to see me, but showed no signs of having missed me at all! LOL We did some errands after that, and then he fell asleep on the 10 minute ride home in the car!
September 16th. We visited my youngest brother and SIL in New York this weekend. One of the things we did was go to a farm and pick apples. Julian of course chose the biggest apple. LOL He really enjoyed it---he spent a long time gnawing on it. I don�t know that he swallowed much, because he kept spitting out bits of skin and apple to hand to me. :)
September 18th. I think I am done pumping now! Julian turned 20 months old yesterday.
I pumped a little milk tonight, pretty much just a token pump, to say I made 20 months of pumping! :) It has been 4 days since I last pumped, and I only got 1.5 ounces tonight. I knew I was about done---over the past few weeks I have been gradually spacing my pumps from once a day to every other day, then every three days. I took weaning very slowly just so that I would not get horribly engorged like I did when I weaned my first son. In a way it was hard letting go, but I know it is time, and I think doing it slowly also gave me time to accept that I really do need to do this. I will keep the pump handy just in case I get engorged over the next week, but I don't anticipate actually needing it.
I am incredibly proud of being able to give my little guy my breastmilk, specially made just for him, even though he couldn't nurse. I have pumped 5 months past my original goal of 15 months!!! Julian hasn't actually been taking my milk for the last several weeks. Instead, I've been freezing what little I pumped, so I have some breastmilk to use if he gets an upset tummy or something as we move into colder weather. Our nutritionist thought that was a brilliant idea! And guess what? It was Truman who suggested it! :) At the same time, Truman is also glad that I am finishing up with pumping. He's been extremely supportive, but he will be happy for us to move on from this part of our lives.
Pumping for Julian has been an incredible experience. I learned so much, and I am sure I won't be forgetting it anytime soon! In my work as a BFing Peer Counselor, I have been able to encourage other moms by sharing my pumping experiences with them. This is very meaningful to me! :)
In other news, for several nights now, Julian has been sleeping through from about 9:30 pm to 6 am! He hasn�t been waking for any middle of the night bottles. Wow! We have watered his milk to 1 part milk and 2 parts water. Maybe he decided it wasn�t worth waking for that! LOL When he wakes at 6 am, he can have full-strength milk, even though he sleeps for a few hrs more. I am working hard to make sure he gets enough milk and solid food during the day to meet his caloric needs.
September 19th. Of course, after saying that he�s been sleeping through the night, last night he woke up at 1 am and 5:15 am. Oh, well.
We took Julian to see the respiratory dr at DHMC today for a check up. She saw him last spring, and then today (now that it is almost fall), and will see him again next spring. Just because he had respiratory issues due to his prematurity. She said we could also call for an appt should he get a major respiratory illness in the winter. But God-willing, Julian won't get more than the inevitable colds!
He's already got a small cold from play-group. Some kids there had runny noses last week, so I was not at all surprised that in a few days Julian had a runny nose. Then a cough over the weekend, but he seems less congested now. So surprise, surprise---he has an ear infection now! I never would have guessed. No ear pulling or unusual crankiness. Although maybe that explains why last night he woke twice!
So the dr wants Julian to have a course of amoxicillin for his ear. We also have new prescriptions for Flovent and Albuterol inhalers. The Flovent is for daily use to help his lungs now that we are getting into cold season again. The Albuterol is great for immediate relief when he gets really congested. We also have the nebulizer if needed.
He will go for his 21 month check-up with our pediatrician in one month. He will be getting his flu shot this winter, and he will get RSV shots too, since his 2nd birthday is in January and RSV season starts in Oct/Nov. Also, his history of BPD qualifies him to get the RSV shots for a second winter. I really hope he does not get RSV again like he did last April! That was so awful! :P
Julian weighs 19 pounds and 1/2 ounce! He is 30 1/2 inches long, and his head measured 47 cm. He is still facing rear in his car-seat, but that's ok with me. :)
September 25th. A little funny story�.Julian had on a cloth diaper with a separate cover. But he reached into his onesie, and pulled the velcro tabs open. Then he pulled out the cloth diaper and dumped it on the floor, but the cover was still partly inside his onesie and part was hanging out like a tail as he crawled around. LOL I asked him what he did and he crawled over to the diaper and patted it! Fortunately it was only wet, not poo. Also fortunately we are moving into colder weather, so I can put overalls on him to help deter him from doing this. Of all my kids, he is the only one who has wanted to strip his diaper off! Other than the striping, I really love this age. :)
September 29th. I think we can say that Julian is officially walking now! He is talking 8-10 steps at a time! He tends to keep his steps short, almost shuffling, and he sticks with short distances. He's still a little unsteady, and often grabs for support when he feels himself wavering, but several times today he took up to 10 steps without holding on to any support. He's also fallen a few times, but nothing major. If he wants to go somewhere fast, he still gets down and crawls, but he is choosing to walk more and more! YAY! Yesterday, I took Julian and Truman with me to a WIC meeting in Concord, NH. Julian practiced his walking quite a bit while we were there! :) I am still trying to get some good pictures of him walking�.every time I try, he either reaches for something to hang on to, or he gets down to crawl! What a stinker!
October 7th. So now Julian has Twelve teeth---the top front just right of the center one has finally poked through, so his tooth pattern is all even now (4 molars, 4 upper incisors, and 4 lower incisors).
And tonight he said "eggy". He has this little set of toy eggs, that he just LOVES to play with. They sit in the little plastic box, according to the shape on the bottom of each egg. The tops of the egg shells come off, revealing little "chicks" inside, that you can press down and they "chirp". The chicks have different faces that match the eyes on the outer shells. When we play with them, I've been saying "eggy", so now Julian says "eggy". He said it several times while we were playing with the eggs tonight.
Speaking of words, I previously mentioned that he said "ca-ca" for cracker. He isn't saying that anymore, but he IS saying "ga-ga" and it seems to mean he wants to eat. He says it for any kind of food, as well as for his milk....so I think it means "hungry". :)
He has never said meow again, although that was the first clear word he said in context. He was fussing today, and I think he said "maaaaa-ma". Other than that, he still says "ut-oh", and "ga-ga" and now "eggy". He jargons a TON. He has lots of tones and inflections, but I have no idea what he's saying most of the time. I think it's Chinese or something similar---LOL
October 18th. Julian is now 21 months old! He went for a check up with our Pedi today. I know most babies do not have a 21-month well-check, but our dr follows Julian more closely because of his history. We are monitoring his weight gain for one thing, plus he is more susceptible to respiratory illness, since his lungs are compromised.
The nursed weighed Julian at 19 pounds, but he was weighed on a balance scale instead of the electronic scale. The balance scale always reads lower than the electronic scale, but they don�t adjust for it. I have just noticed that the balance scale weight will usually be approximately the same as his weight a month ago on the electronic scale. Then when he is weighed on the electronic scale again next month, it looks like he gained weight really well! <roll eyes>
I think she said Julian was 32 inches tall, which would mean he grew 1.5 inches in the last month! LOL Somehow, I think it is due to the different way nurses do the measuring!
Anyway, Julian got his flu shot, and the rest of our family is strongly advised to get flu shots as well. Julian is also scheduled to get RSV shots again this winter. He should get them for 2 reasons---one, because he won�t turn 2 yrs old until January but RSV season starts around the end of October or early November, and two, because he did have RSV last spring. I wanted him to get the RSV shots again, especially because of the second reason, so I am glad he is going to get them. He will get his first RSV shot in November.
We were talking about how Julian is such a �success story�. To think of all he�s been through with his premature birth and everything�.we are so blessed to have him. And now he is walking---what a great accomplishment! I said that I was so glad we refused to take him off the ventilator when his first blood gas results came back so poor. Dr Silverstein said, �Yes, you certainly made the right decision that day�and look at him now!� Then she gave me a big hug!
October 19th. I have been trying to get Julian to say the words "Hi" and "bye", but so far no luck. As you know, we have lots of kitty-cats, and I've also been trying to get Julian to say "kitty". He "talks" to the kitties, but it's usually unintelligible jargon. One day a week or two ago when I was changing him in our room, he looked out our window, and pointed while making excited sounds. I looked and there was one of our cats! He'd seen it and was obviously trying to tell me about it. :) But again, I could not distinguish any words, it was just babbling.
He loves our kitties, and wants to pet them, and has just started making a sound for them that sounds like a long "T". So I smile and say "Kit-ty" in an exaggerated way, while helping him pet the kitty. :)
Well, today, I carried him into our room to change him again, and there was one of our cats sleeping on the bed. I cheerfully said, "Hi, Mittens!" and Julian said, "Hi, T" just like that! It was clear as a bell what he was saying!
I couldn't believe it! He said "Hi" for the first time ever, and he said two "words" together. Yay!
October 30th. Today, Julian had a follow up with the development pedi, Dr Little, and the OT, Carol Andrews. They saw him twice last yr, at about 6 mos old and 12 mos old.
They are very happy with his progress, but he is still a bit delayed. His actual age is just over 21 mos. His corrected age is just over 18 mos. His developmental age is between 14 and 15 mos.
He walked all over the place for them---he is now a good steady walker! I even got a few pictures of him, playing in just his diaper after his physical exam. :) Julian weighed in at 19 pounds 9.4 ounces, and measured 31 inches long. His height is good, but his weight still a little low. This pedi does a corrected-age growth chart for preemie, and it shows his weight to be slowly drifting down off his curve. (Our regular pedi does an actual-age growth chart, and Julian still appears to be on the same curve on that chart, albeit his curve has always been below 3% on her chart.)
We talked about Julian's feeding issues---he's been giving me a very difficult time lately. The doctor reiterated what the experts say: �feeding battles are never worth it.� However, I don't think they have a child with Julian's temperament AND weight issues! :P
He is fighting me at almost every meal. I know he is hungry, based on how long since he last ate and his clamoring for food---he says "ga-ga, ga-ga" and it means "hungry" or "food". But if I give him things to feed himself, ie, crackers or other soft chunks of finger foods, he doesn't eat much. He will put food in his mouth, even chew it, but often spits it back out and begins throwing it around. Sometimes he just takes crackers and smashes them up and throws them. The only way to get a reasonable amount of food into him is to spoon feed him purees or finely mashed foods. If I give him a spoon, he makes a huge mess and very little goes into his mouth, with even less going into his tummy. If I spoon feed him, he waves his arms around and tries to knock the spoon out of my hand. I hang on tightly, but he usually knocks the food off the spoon. So I have been holding down his hands with one of my hands while I feed him with the other hand. He does not like this, and struggles. I have to be very patient. I often let his hands go until I am ready to bring another spoon to his mouth, then grab his hands and quickly feed him a spoonful. This way he is not restrained all the time, but only when I am putting food into his mouth.
He has begun spitting the food back at me. He also tries to grab the bowl and feel his food. I let him do this to a point, but stop it when he starts to throw food. He can throw food pretty far now. He also tries to throw the whole bowl. Either that or dump it upside-down on his tray. Oh, and then he takes his messy hands and smears food in his hair and under his bib on his clothes. He also takes off his bib when ever he can, and throws it too. We usually end up with his food on me, all over the highchair, all over him and his clothes, on the floor, on the dining table, and sometimes on the chairs and walls too! I am tired of this! I really don't have time to clean everything 4 times a day (he gets 4 meals each day). None of my other kids were half this bad! Of course, they were feeding themselves very well by this age, and I wasn't so concerned about their weight gain either.
I find this very frustrating and upsetting. The other day, he fought me so bad, I gave up and put him down for a nap without his solid food. He just would not let me feed him, but I knew he was hungry. In his crib he fussed for a while, and after a half hour or so, I gave him a bottle of milk. He eagerly drank it and fell asleep. He was famished when he woke later, and although he ate about 5 oz of solids, he was still not cooperative about being fed.
I think he is trying to assert himself. I think he wants to feed himself, but he can't quite do it. He is willing to try anything I am eating (tiny bits of cooked meat, soft-cooked veggies, etc), but 99% of the time, he tastes it and hands it back to me, or throws it. He totally refused mashed potatoes, which many kids love! But he won't eat them for anything, not even mixed with other foods. The only way I can guarantee he gets at least a couple ounces of food in him is for me to spoon feed him. A good-size meal for him is 4 ounces of food (similar to a jar of stage 2 baby food). If he feeds himself, I doubt he even gets an ounce of food, so he'd have to eat every hour around the clock! Which is hardly practical, and probably not a good habit to get into either.
He is also picky about flavors and textures. The food has to be as smooth as I can get it. Hardboiled eggs do not puree, but if I put one through the baby food grinder then whip it with some mayo or evaporated milk or something, then mix it with baby cereal or apple sauce or something else to smooth the textures and add flavors----only then can I get him to eat it! Even then, he may put up a fight. Often he eats something well one day, but then more often than not he refuses to eat it the next day. Even crackers, which he likes....he will eat Ritz crackers one day, but not the next day. He keeps me guessing all the time.
Except his loves yogurt and cows milk always! He will eat 4 oz of yogurt per day, plus up to 20 ounces of milk in bottles (not counting what milk may be put in his food). But I know he needs to eat other things---he has to have a balanced diet. There is a risk of anemia if a child's diet is mostly cows milk and very little else.
We discussed some ideas to let Julian try more self-feeding, but I am still worried about getting enough calories into him. I feel that I am between a rock and a hard place. Maybe feeding battles are never successful for the parent, but if he becomes "failure to thrive" than I am a bad mom anyway! :P
November 3rd. I had to take Julian to the doctor, because he had an ear infection that ruptured his ear drum! His ears were fine at his dr appt on Tuesday, but Friday night he had a fever and was very cranky, then Saturday he had nasty discharge coming from his left ear! Poor baby, but he got meds and ear drops and he's doing a whole lot better now!
November 10th. Vroom is one of Julian's sounds, has been for a while---do you consider that a word? He says it while driving cars or other wheeled vehicles around! :)
November 14th. Julian now weighs 19 pounds 14 ounces! I forget his length, but I know he is tall compared to his weight.
He got his RSV shot today and a Hep A shot. I really wish we could pick and choose which shots to have, but in NH it's all or nothing. If you claim the religious exemption, it means ALL shots are against your religious beliefs, so you can't get some and not others. The only other exemption is a medical one in which you are allergic to certain components of some shots, but that does not apply to us. I can't really use the religious exemption either, because truthfully it is not against my religion to get shots. So we get the shots---all of them. I think certain shots are quite important, but some of the newer ones I think are NOT necessary, and in some cases may create more problems later on (the chicken pox shot is one I would rather my kids NOT have for this reason---the shot can wear off and it is far worse to get chicken pox when you are older than to get it as a young child, I know this first hand!)
The dr also checked his ear, and said the hole in the drum was closed, but he still had some fluid in his ear. She said it can take up to three months to go away. But he doesn't seem bothered by it anymore, so I won't worry about it.
November 18th. We have tantrums starting here now. Julian has begun throwing himself on the floor, rolling around, and screaming when things don't go his way. It's so ridiculous, it actually makes me laugh!
November 29th. The nutritionist came today to meet with me and our EI therapist and discuss Julian�s feeding issues. Basically she thinks Julian is fighting me on feeding, because he has a short attention span and gets bored of opening his mouth for me. That does make sense. We found that if we distracted him, with a toy or a book or even a few cheerios, we could get him to continue eating a little longer.
We do let him finger feed some, but he doesn�t eat enough that way. He gets hungry a lot more often, but then he winds up either demanding more bottles and screaming until I give him one, or he grazes all day long. For most toddlers, this is normal and quite fine. But according to our health providers, Julian needs to gain 3 pounds in 6 wks to make it onto the bottom of the growth chart by age 2. The only way I can make sure he eats enough to be satisfied for a while is to feed him myself. And feed him mostly pureed types of food. He still won�t eat chunks of cooked meat or veggies, etc. Also feeding him myself is the only way I can try to sneak in the extra calories to try to get him gaining better. But it is so hard when he fights me. I am so frustrated with the whole situation. I am inclined to just let him eat as little as he wants and drink as many bottles as he wants, and let whatever happens happen. :P Maybe he just needs to be allowed more control over what he eats and how much�..and so what about his weight! The kid looks great! He�s generally healthy, he�s got some nice chub on his cheeks and still has little rolls around his wrists, elbows, etc. He sure does not look deprived to me!
The nutritionist also expressed concern over our use of the outside wood furnace to heat our house. She thinks that the wood smoke can trickle into the house through tiny cracks, and thus jeopardize Julian's lungs by exposing him to wood smoke. She even suggested it was as bad as cigarette smoke! Oh, puh-leeze! We have an OUTSIDE furnace, so it is not in the house, like a regular wood stove is. On rare occasions, a whiff of wood smoke may come in through the door when someone comes in. Or if the wind is from the wrong direction, it may blow towards the house instead of away from it, but that is also quite rare. I really do not see that we are harming Julian's lungs! He has been quite healthy, hasn't even had many colds this fall, and the couple he did have were very short-lived. I did not even need to give him albuterol, because he handled it well! Besides, the brand of furnace we bought has passed emissions standards for Maine, New Hampshire, and Vermont, with Maine being stricter than NH, and Vermont being strictest of all! Furthermore, we never burn trash in the furnace, only wood. So I don't see it as harmful to Julian to have this source of heat, and it sure is a lot easier on our budget! I think the nutritionist meant well, but she needs to butt out. Well, I do know that she isn�t coming back because our case is being re-assigned to another provider who is geographically much closer to our home---but the reason for that has nothing to do with us.
December 12th. I tell people Julian�s other name is "Trouble". He is twice as bad as either of my other kids were at that age! Actually, they were angels in comparison! They were happy to play with toy cars and blocks and whatnot, but not Julian. Forget the toys! Let's see how much we can get into!!!! We might even make mommy mad! Woohoo!
I did order a Superyard-----none available locally, so I ordered it from Target.com. I also got the extension kit, just to make sure I had enough to contain the little monster. Of course I opted for the Free Shipping (why pay $50 extra for EXpress shipping?) I almost regretted it though.
Today, Julian pulled out a chair, climbed up on it, then climbed on the table. He was after Eric's toy car key-chain, but then he decided that my oil lamp looked better on the floor. So he tossed it on the floor and the glass hurricane chimney shattered into something like 3 million pieces. Also, the oil dribbled out of the overturned lamp and ran underneath my curio cabinet (the curio cabinet is locked at the top, still out of his reach, but for how much longer, I don't know (he'll be stealing my ladder next to climb on things!)
When I heard the crash, I ran in from the adjoining room---guess I can no longer turn my back for so much as one second anymore. There was Julian, looking very pleased with himself. Thankfully he was still on the table, and the glass was on the floor, so no cuts. I banished him to his crib while I spend an hour cleaning up the oil and glass shards, and then I vacuumed and mopped the floor for good measure.
Why was my oil lamp on the table? It was in the center of the table so we can light it when the electricity fails, and the center of the table *used* to be out of Julian's reach. But obviously he found a way to reach it, and now I have no hurricane glass for my oil lamp. Which means if the power goes out tonight during the storm we are having, then I can't use the lamp for light. :P
Fortunately, the very next day when I got home from Keene, I found that the UPS man had left my Superyard in our polebarn! A day too late to save my lamp, but better late than never. So now I have put the Superyard around our table, so Julian can't get to the chairs or the table or anything on the table! He also can't reach the curio cabinet which is in the furthest corner behind the table. Until he figures out how to open the superyard, or climb over it, but I think I've got a little time on that yet. Now I hope I didn't just jinx everything by saying that!
Of course he�s had plenty of other escapades. As soon as Julian learned to climb on my rocker, he pulled framed photos off the wall above the rocker. Those pics have been there since Jamie was a baby and no one ever bothered them, until Trouble came along! He figured out that he could fit his fingers behind the "child-protection" thing we got for the TV and he can push the buttons anyway. Suddenly we wondered why the TV was speaking Spanish! We tried fitting the guard closer to the TV, and he just pushed hard on the outside of it to press it against the buttons and push them anyway. :P Fortunately, after a while he lost interest and went to explore something else. He pulled all the bike helmets off the shelf where we keep our outside gear, and ripped all the foam padding from the insides of the helmets. I had to put all the helmets in the addition. Tonight he pulled an extension cord out from BEHIND the sofa which is pushed tight against the wall, and was playing with the cord. Yikes! I wedged the kids movies very tightly on a shelf, but he still figured out how to get them out. Then he pulled some of the tape from the inside of one VHS tape and broke it in half. The movies are currently sitting on my kitchen counter until I figure out what I am doing with them. :P
I guess I have been spoiled by the first two kids who were willing to leave that stuff alone in favor of building Duplo parking garages for their toy cars! I should have known I was due for a terror---he's turning my hair gray!
December 18th. Julian got his next RSV shot today. He weighs 20 pounds 1 ounce. He HATED everything the nurse did long before she even got the shot ready! Blood pressure cuff, O2 sensor, thermometer, etc---he screamed about everything! Then of course he screamed about the shot too. I was able to comfort him, and I also gave him some baby food, which helped him calm down. After we got home, he took a very long nap.
The next day, he was just not himself, and by evening his temp was 102.1* under the arm! He also dug at his ear and even scratched it, so I suspected an ear infection. I called the dr�s office to make sure this was not considered a reaction to the RSV shot, and she said no, it wasn�t likely.
The following day, I did take him in, and sure enough, he has another ear infection! Poor kid---this is the 3rd one since I stopped pumping Breastmilk for him! Oh, well! I can�t go back to pumping again, especially since Julian is to become an older brother! :)
December 30th. Julian is pretty much back to his usual trouble-maker self. Today, he figured out how to climb out of his crib! Yikes!!! I heard him chirping and chattering over the monitor and went to get him up from his nap today. As I opened his door, I was horrified to find he was behind the door and NOT in his crib! I don't know how he got out. The mattress is on the lowest setting which is actually just below the bottoms of the sides. When he stands up in the crib, his chin barely reaches the top of the sides. So I don't know how he did it! I also don't know how he got back down to the floor with out getting hurt either! We never heard any crash or crying, and there is no sign of any bumps or bruising or anything, so how the heck he did it, I really don't know!! The scariest thing is that Julian's crib is in one corner of my sewing room, and my sewing stuff is in the opposite corner, with a pathway in between. He can't reach the sewing stuff from his crib, but he sure can get into it once he is on the floor. It's a wonder he hadn't found my pins or scissors! The thought strikes terror in my heart!
We NEED the house DONE, like yesterday!!! Once the playroom is ready, we can move the toys out there, then move Eric and Jamie to a bigger room. THEN Julian will move into Eric and Jamie's old room. I figure I need at least 3-4 more months to get to that point, IF all goes well. I had hoped to continue work this week while we are all home, but I feel so lousy, I've hardly done a thing. :( This pregnancy is just REALLY BAD TIMING! I can't think of anything worse right about now, as it seriously interferes with what DESPERATELY NEEDS to be finished first. I'm SO STRESSED about it, it's not even funny.
I guess I need to hire someone, with all the money we don't even have. How do you pay someone with no money? We can't get a loan at this point---I already borrowed off my lowest interest rate card, and it must be paid with our tax refund. But we won't even get that until March. I still have to purchase more lumber to finish things up, and labor costs were NOT figured into our building budget. Truman is NOT a carpenter, and I simply cannot turn it over to him. That would be like asking me to rebuild a car engine, which I have no idea how to do.
I just don't know what I can do with Julian to keep him safe while we try to figure things out. Neither of my other kids EVER climbed out of the crib! <SIGH>
So tonight we put Julian to bed, and in minutes he was running around the house! So we went to see HOW he's getting out, without hurting himself! Put him in the crib, and he promptly grabbed the change table which is end to end with the crib. Using his arms, he dragged himself onto the change table. Since he had an audience, he danced around and laughed and thought he was SO COOL up there on the change table! Mind you, we never used the change table except for storing things on the shelves, so it isn't like he's used to being on top of it. To get down on the floor, apparently he swung his legs over the side and climbed down the shelves. Thus no crash or hurt baby.
So we took the change table out of the room---no small feat when you consider how tightly everything fits in this room. The room is only 7 feet wide by 8 feet long! And the door is only 2 feet wide and opens against one end of the crib, so making the corner around the crib was quite a trick! Eric is also sleeping on the floor of Julian's room tonight, so hopefully Julian will stay in the crib at least for tonight.
I think my best bet is to try to empty that room tomorrow of everything except the crib, which will likely take me all day to do, seeing as I have no idea where it will go. And that means reorganizing someplace else........ Of course, I am not supposed to lift anything, but I have to lift Julian, so I try to lift nothing heavier than he is. Sewing stuff is mostly light, just takes up too much space!
Argh! This child will be the death of me!!
