What's been happening in the world of Adam? You ask. Well...it feels like jack all since im working 9 to 5, Monday to Friday like the rest of the great British public and besides, something inside me would like to say "I've been doing bugger all" since I last updated. However, I cant, because this would be a lie. Over the course of the last week I've been going out with more regularity. Doing what? I hear you ask. After all I am meant to be saving up for my world wind adventure tour of Australia. Well going clubbing. I know Im appalled at myself to, the only reasons one would find himself clubbing in Worthing is

a) Semi-techno/electric music

b) Laugh at Chavs, townies or some other unfortunate lower class

c) To get pissed (rugby voice)

d) Get some night air.

The more I think about it i don't really do it for any of the above reasons. Maybe I do tear
up the dance floor and that's always a giggle but i cant understand its not like me to
frequent clubs on a regular basis (3 times consecutively within the last week). I can only attribute that I have been hanging out with Matt and James again (college buddies) and in the nights that we have gone out I haven't laughed so hard, since I was last in Brunei or with Matt P. For example the first night I saw these two best friends end up in punches all over the fact that one of them threatened to call the others girlfriend to tell her that he was wasted and that some girl had kissed him. You should have seen them arguing it lasted for half and hour and was drawing a crowed. The police eventually told them to stop arguing or else put them in the van (fuck! police brutality). Then on the cab back they were still arguing while myself and Matts older brother sat there quietly, mind you he was paralytic.
To get to the point of the fight, James told the cabby to stop (we were staying at his
place), chucked him some cash we all got out and then matt and James started playing fisticuffs and James gave lamped him two black eyes. This, while they were both off their faces.
By the way James was the one who threatened to call Matts g/f so i find it even more funnier that the guy who did all the threatening ended up with the two black eyes.

They finally made peace a couple of days ago but they still argue about who started the fight.

If you liked that one kids ill give you another story tomorrow.

Its late and I got work tomorrow.

From me, You stay classy San Francisco.

Adam

What a disturbing place the world is. I feel like I can never leave my house unless I take my knife with me. Even when going jogging. These days I wouldn抰 even consider venturing out without a pocket-knife. Even if I were going out with friends for evening I wouldn抰 have to think twice about taking my machete. People got some serious issues. I bring this up due to watching this program on BBC2 about Britain抯 knife culture and how its getting out of hand.

Now to some more serious crud (HA! Crud, its funny). Works going well and finally gone through most of my training which seems to be the biggest waste of time ever but hey its all about health and safety these days. Having completed training they got me on my own computer terminal trying to solve peoples pc problems through the phone. Nothing technical, usually involves me telling people to re-boot their pcs and hopefully it works, if not I log the problem. It makes me laugh when this solves their problem and they thank me. So, my day is spent just idly chit-chatting with people while we wait till their pc reboots or till some patch gets installed. One thing which is becoming really obvious though in the last 2weeks is that everyone I talk to seems to be either calling from India or Glasgow and they all have really cool accents, you might even say quite cute at times. This leads me to my next point of: Would you sleep with someone just because they had a sexy voice? Im beginning to think, yes. Including Rodgers dad, sorry Rodger but who can resist an Irish and Mexican accent.

In other news ive applied for my Australian working visa but I need to get a chest xray first. What for? Im not sure but it抯 a requirement. I think i should be more bothered by this by im intrigued to see what my chest x-rayed looks like. I hope I don抰 get asked for anymore examinations. Im already picturing a rubber glove and some lube, I know it seems far fetched but im shuddering already.

Recently when to go see Saw, and? 搘ow?how amazingly disturbing and I was actually left breathless towards the end of the movie. Basic outline of the movie, two guys wake up in toilet chained at either ends. They find two hack saws which have been left by some psychotic mastermind. They soon find out that the saws are too weak to saw through the chain. What do they saw through? Hmmm? I suggest you watch it, but don抰 take your mom.

Do you love me or do you want my DVD collection?

Peace out! A town!

Heya, mines massive...

Dave and I have been catching up and filling in what we've been getting up to since last we saw each other and its taking for ages to swap stories.

 Im in a very pensive state of mind, at the moment,  due to the fact that it has dawned on me that the holiday is definitely over (or at least for two months) and that I do need to find work urgently. I hate it when you have too much of a good thing and then its all suddenly over. I miss being able to say "Im 20 years old, I don't have to deal with this shit!". The hard truth is that, now I do have to deal with the shit, and Im not looking forward to it at all. I just want to go to Australia and pretend that England isn't a real place. I blame the weather and Bush.

In other news also been in contact with Nick (awesome as swords, old school friend) which is a first as we usually only email each other once a year. No particular reason why we dont write to each other more often its just the way we are. I'll be the first to admit im pretty slack email replier. I can never be arsed.

 Adam

P.S. Adelaide at night now there's something I miss.

So much to say and share but dont really have the time. I sorta took a break for awhile from updating and at the moment am resorting to updating through html alone (in which im ridiculously shit at).
In Singapore airport at the moment waiting for my flight back to the UK and even though its been the most amazing holiday Im looking forward to getting back because I got an awesome year planned ahead or so I hope but to keep it simple i've deferred from uni for another year to see friends and make it a go at living with Erin. Crazy aye? Who would have thought that after all this time we would end up together again or at least care enough about each other to try living together. Awesome as swords.
Till later all
Yours, Adam

 poop shoot (sounds like an ice cream) 

Hey everybody! My names Dr.Nick,

Ahh, haven't watched the Simpsons in a long time.. It really has a been a long time since I last updated? it a lot of effort to update, especially when ur as busy and as important as I am?yeah... really.. Again, I抦 tired of being here, it抯 this shitty place where when anything good happens, it ends within a few minutes.. but, on the brighter side, I get to leave this place for a good a in a few weeks?But, then again, that dream is destroyed with the thoughts of exams in just a few days.. let抯 see, half term?I was subjected to manual labour by the forces of evil (my grandparents) and managed to stab myself in the arm with the edge of a table leaving a good 5mm of skin on the edge.. yummy?My two highpoints of the week consisted of going to the downs, smoking loads of fatties and having a Sainsburys barbeque whilst we play arse (football). The other highpoint was when I went to Stavs on the Sunday, he has a kick ass house, and Lexi (Stavs gf) and Selina (another girl) were there, just a load of chilling and swimming?#060;o:p>

What抯 new at the college?hmm, not a lot?I can抰 remember if I said that Lincoln is being extended upstairs so that they can house another 11 students and that Fergee抯 stepping down to be just a teacher whilst Glover抯 becoming the head of house..  There抯 also this new dude here called Duncan who rock抯 hard?Ultimately laid back, and funny as hell?also rocks the ganj like a Trojan as well as others?he抯 hardcore to the max and is on sleeping about 3 times a week, so we have some good times.. he抯 basically a dude with power (not much at that, the Lincoln staff are on to him the bastards!!)..

I just remember Paul and Rich cause of Duncan (just guys that rock the ganj) so a shout out to them?seems kind of random huh?

Well I抦 about to finish, but before I do, I know this update fuking boring (cause I抦 bored hearing myself write it) but also go to www.moviepooshoot.com, me and Rhys were watching Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back?and decided to actually go onto the site, or to find out if it抯 real? it is. So all these people were dissing great legends like The Dude, or the Duderino, or his Dudeness and Jay and Silent Bob?So we went in with a vengeance and started a war with them匱hey banned us and kicked us out.. But we signed on without underscores and the same names.. we抮e getting on better, although we still stick up for legends and take no shit.. brilliant.. visit it..

Laters

Dave

Just in, I've been compared to a chat show host. Ouch my ego is hurt. Not that i have anything personal against chat show hosts but common. GET A REAL JOB!!!

I've lost the reason to why I keep the site up along with my cute tamagochi pet (remember those virtual pets?) but I still hear people say that I said something funny the week before so it makes me want to do it one more time. However this brings up the interesting question are you laughing at me or just being polite.

I just came out of 3 hour exam so i feel pretty violated and my wrist hurts like crazy. So now i know how a girl with an impotent boyfriend feels (I would have said gay but I know to many gay people). Why are exams SO not like Harry Potter. Man if only. By the way Dave and I went to see a bit of Harry loving last weekend and if i may say so pleasantly surprised. But if you happen to be in the age category of 15-19 give it a while before you go and watch it or run the risk of getting dirty looks from over-protective mother thinking in their heads (Pedo! Pedo!). 

Well im spent 

okay lady's and germs 

till next time 

4 years of marriage Hermionee was still getting beats. (I knew Harry was a wife beater) 

P.S. Is it so wrong to think she's hot?

So Sim, (boarding school friend) has scammed my Nan out of ?05 quid, what a sneaky mother. He is such a sly boots. However, I trust him and also i don't think he can run very fast so I stand a chance to catch him if he tries to run away. Also Matty P (no need for introduction) emailed me today about having the best time of his life. I hate him, but its impossible to stay mad at him, he's so cute. He's like Polly pocket but only bigger. Damn I wish I was travelling the world. In time though maybe I will. 

Anyway so I got my second kid en-route I think we are going to call him Lee. Charlene says its a pretty name and it will suit our first born name which is Stella. Also Charlene and I had a fight the other day because she promised she would stop smoking while pregnant but has she? No.  Yeah anyway so that's my life in a nut shell. Working to support my family and attending college part-time in the hopes of getting a better life for my family.  Who would have thought it would end this way.  Ha! 

A bit of culture now I've recently come across this painter called Edward Hopper who aside from many things is said to be one of the 20th Century's most important artists (im plagiarising by the way).  So his art is on exhibit at the Tate and if you're passing that way well worth a gander but I leave you with one of his paintings. 

Does anybody feel like the guy with his back turned to the window??? I do. click on pic to enlarge

All right chiefs till next time 

As Ruiz would say 

Dwish, bash wishy allo people you want to look at my arsfinctor its very cute , come and see,dwiiiiiiiiiiiish!

Thanks, that was Matt Ruiz

Goodnight. 

Ouch! That cuts deep, I don't know whether to call you friend or punk hoodlum? 

I guess this is why the sites called how about no... because it just doesn't really matter. I know David and Ollie might have things to say but hey, that's them. One thing I would just like to point out and that is: We pride ourselves on not being overly politically correct or bothered about what we do or how we say it. 

I know that seems wrong as peoples feelings can sometimes be hurt by this. I have to say that I'm being slightly hypocritical because we do actually care if we hurt peoples feelings but the site is mainly here for the purposes of amusing and brining people with similar outlooks on life together. Man that sounds corny but its pretty much true and besides if know one comes to the site anymore Dave, Myself, Ollie and some guy/chick called Riko from Italy like the site and think that it "ROCKS" and is totally "Awesome as Swords".      

Yours, Adam

PS. Not that we hold a grudge against you or anything but be fair and tell us about yourself... after all sharing is caring. *grins* 

Bye

So I changed the site slightly and have put up the archives page and that's, that really.

I spoke to Dave last night and we caught up on on the foolish shenanigans we were getting up to. I think he wins though. There is so much more possibility at boarding school to get up to things you shouldn't be really doing. 

Changing the subject drastically now but its my update can do what I feel, even write this update naked if I truly wanted to (im not by the way). Anyway, so we live in a material world and it is often said that the only reason we like to buy stuff is because it make us feel better about ourselves (similar to David watching Big Brother). Not meaning any offence or anything... 

In a way guess that's why some of us buy so many damn clothes (including underwear) (everyone knows good underwear makes you feel good) . What I'm trying to throw across is do girls/boys buy clothes to make themselves feel better? Because if we do, I must be damn inadequate! I don't really spend all my money on clothes but something similar.. movies. Oh and old school cartoons I used to watch while going through my teens. For example I just bought myself season one and two of Tod Mcflares Hell Spawn. Need I say, as soon as it arrived you could smell the awesomeness. Its just as good as I remember it 4yrs ago. I used to have to stay up till midnight just to watch it on H.B.O because it was rated 15 or something like that. 

My goodness is it good. Its so deep as well forget about the Simpson's teaching you life lessons watch Spawn to get a grips on life. Im being accused of being sad raving so much over a cartoon. Are "THEY" right???

Well I go to do some stuff. Guy stuff. So till Later 

P.S. There is a season 3 as well. Bastard sneaky boos! I thought I had such a deal but the third season comes in two parts and separately for £9.99 so much money! It's meant to saved for holidays. Life's tough this way I guess. 

15/03/04 -This is what I call "constructive criticism", and I love it!

Hello.

I am an anonymous updater...in fact, you could just call me your conscience. I am about 3ft tall, as all good conscience's should be, and have a green jacket.  Wait, no, that's a leprechaun.  Doesn't really matter does it? I've been a devout reader of this humble website since day 1 - for those of you who don't believe me, its good to see someone has some sense.  Seeing as it is badly in need of some life-juice (no offence Adam n Dave) I have been drafted in as an emergency ratings restorer (code name E.R.R.).  So I thought I'd start with the cons and work may way on to the pros of the website, though the latter may be a little more challenging.  Only a little mind you.

Con #1: Dodgy Layout.  I know, I know, this is not a popular statement.  Adam has spent many a day musing over whether he should go for the grey or the white.  The fact that he has chosen both so that the first updates are in grey and the rest are in white just doesn't help.  Grey suggests a sort of half-dead, almost got-to-hell colour, whereas white just hurts the eyes.  Come on, this is a family website, think of the grandpa's.  Furthermore, the website seems to go on for ever and ever and ever... the idea of archives is a good one.  I know this isn't exactly anyone's fault but who else feels like it's a porn site with the amount of pop-ups that come up?  Sends me into a panicked frenzy of, 'Quick close the box, close the box!'.  Still, I must say i love the blue border.

Con #2: Overlarge pictures. Pictures are great.  Couldn't agree more.  Pictures that are so large that u can visibly see the pixels though are poor.  I have no objection to seeing an advertisement for Lost in Translation, so long as I can't tell how many hairs Bill Murrey has on his legs.  Personally, I love the way Adam sticks pictures up which have no relevance to the article and which no one understands (remember the beaver one?).  Please man, don't put up a picture of a Scottish bag-pipe player in my net space.  It just doesn't make sense...

Con #3: Poor, spasdamonic updates.  Some of the updates on this site are 100% greatness.  They ooze pure genius.  Most though, don't.  First lets contend with our pal, 'Jollie Ollie.'  Ollie is probably a great guy with many, many friends - he just doesn't act like it.  Three words: No More Please.  Then there are the try-hard updates which read something like, 'Yo mo-fo's, big up to all da homies'.  Please leave.  Now.  No one in England speaks like that in real life.  Another popular try-hard statement is, 'I pulled two girls last night man'.  This is the ultimate cheese.  It reeks of a fat, balding Englishman who has managed to French a 14 year old and her shaven-headed friend.  We don't think your hard despite your finest efforts.

In fear of becoming increasingly despondent, I now move on to the pros. 

Pro #1: The Pictures and More Pictures. Please Adam, do not ever change the pictures - it would be sacralidge to do so now.  They are the hallmark of your existence; I admit to clicking every now and then to see if they've changed only to read the same two comments, 'ISB Graduation 2001, Asad, Alison, Matt' and, 'Mike.W, Good friend from Brunei.'  Classic.

Pro#2 The laughs. I'm really scraping the barrel here aren't I?  Basically, to sum it all up, howaboutno is great because a) it's founded by those legends Adam and David b) it makes us laugh even though we look sheepishly round to make sure no one saw us.  Life just wouldn't be the same without it, and the fact that it has so many bad points is, in fact it's best feature.  Vivre la negligence.

That's about it from me, your conscience.  I don't know how many other updates I'll do, or if i'll produce a mass onrush in ratings since I'll probably be torn to pieces by the critics.  Darn those critics, all of them - yes including the crippled one.  Don't think you can get away just because you limp.  I hope my update will spark some life-juice (preferably tooty-fruity flavour) but as for me and my three foot green jacket, I am off to offer a pot of gold to some other website.  Till then then.

The Conscience

Hey! There are only two Pros, you sly boots, you. Adam. 

Oh yeah, Adam, I appreciate the honesty, but what makes Ollie’s so much better than mine? I admit that mine wasn’t very good, but it wasn’t complete crap.. I think we should have a pole nominating the best updater so that I can be put in my place.. really I just update to fill space and to make Adam look not so damm lazy…

Yesterday was one of those days for me when I just had to get back in touch with nature (I dunno if anyone else has these days… maybe it’s just me..) so I walked around alone on the semi-cold grass and then tried to walk across the remaining snow without leaving footprints (couldn’t do it)…but I felt like a ninja, and it reminded me of the basics of life, and it was a grand stress reliever, I’ll leave out the part about me making patterns in the snow and rolling around in it as it’ll bore u to death.

Oh, one last cool thing that has actually made my week and changed my perspective on life once again, BOSS is back!!! After several months of not hearing from my best friend and brother back home he e-mailed me trying to see if my e-mail addy worked still… amazing, I am now on a mission to finish school in this shit hole, and get my ass over to oz land so we can party once more, and go crusing for bitches (yes, simple and very shallow I know, but life’s so much better when it’s simple, “I’m luvvin it…”).. If you want proof of his return, he’s left a message on the guest book, so that rocks.. Oh and Adam, he came up with the great idea of the revival of BOSS vs THE JP ELEPHANT …. That’s brilliance for you…

Let me go die in my hole in the wall alone

Dave 

Ha, I knew it dave http://www.holeinthewallgang.org/  

-Rainbows, flowers, mummy and daddies. Cats and little white packages tied up with string. These are a few of my favourite things. Please don't block my site Mr computer guy.-

Bastard College!! Block my site. What about the fans? They didn't even care to ask. It makes me mad. So mad, it almost prompts me to use the F word. Damn them and damn those Kulaks, think they can control Russia just because they're middle class peasants. Damn them all!!!!! 

In the colleges defence though I did use the words drugs and guns in the same sentence. However, talk about nanny state and censorship. Never mind the site must go on. Aside from keeping in touch with friends its also a great way to work out . I don't know why I said that but hey working out is good for you. I've decided that instead of asking people how they are doing (which is used way to much) I will now ask them if they've been working out and from there I will progress to ask them if they've been pumping iron. If they manage continue speaking to me I will continue with: if they take multi vitamins and can I come to their house and workout with them . 

I think I overstepped an imaginary boundary...i'll stop now.

Okay you greasy gringos go log off and do your homework and stop using msn that like went out in the 80's.

Adam

Well I hate to do this and especially to my own brother but after a brilliant heart warming update from Oli, Dave goes and writes something not so good. 'Not so good' is all i can really say about that update. At least you wrote something Dave and that's what counts. 

Well this comic made my day today. Also Dido's White Flag song. Yet i'm still puzzled over its true meaning. Matt from spy-mag would probably ruin it for me and say its about drugs. I've been reminiscing about my boarding school days and boy was life easy there and so carefree I guess a lot like Brunei. Just remember chilling out with old Whainey, Peds, Simeony, Priesty and even Wazza. Did anyone have a real name at Wymondham? Mind you Wymondham isn't even a real place its sort of like middle earth I guess. So, playing  UNO and beating the crap out each other over the simple reason because we felt like it.  

Whose you're dad and does he know the way to San Jose??

Adam 

Hey, guys, jollie Ollie here. Thought someone with some kind of 
intellectual 
capacity should make a post now.

So anyway, maybe you don't know who I am (you should!). I am Dave's brilliant, amazingly talented friend who he writes songs with. I go to his school and Adam's old one. It's alright I guess. There's loadsa rules though and living with everyone does make relationships strained sometime. On 
the plus side you do get to make really, really good friends and the internet is free! (Adam here, free internet is sooooo good) 

Well, I've had a bit of a crap week really. First off I lost the Mair Cup. The Mair Cup is like a school music competition where all the houses compete against each other to win the main cup in categories of Big Choir, Small Choir and Instrumental. My house, Cavell, came second (I guess, but they 
don't really tell you positions) but we did win the prize for best Big Choir! Yay!

I had had a really sore throat over that weekend though. Throughout the busking we did (£18, thank you very much) and still have it now. It's like there's a porcupine is in your throat. Dave had it before and now I have it. 
Hmmmmm. 
That seems rather dodgy!!!

I also found out that our drama class were in a bit of shit. We went to see a play last week in Norwich, Trojan Women, by a local girls school cos we're studying it soon. Anyway, it was pretty crap really. Helen of Troy, supposedly the prettiest girl in the world, was actually a dog. So the play 
was rumbling along being crap and I was falling asleep. you see, we'd had dinner beforehand at a local pub and I'd got a bit of wind. Ooops. I'd been managing to keep it in figuring that there'd be some interval where I could fart in someone's face. Unfortunately I stated falling asleep and it just parped out. Well, I say parped but it was actually more of a bellow and most of the class started laughing. Supposedly, the next day the headmistress of the school rang up our school and complained about the laughing but not 
just that. She also said we had our feet up on the stage and that, ahem, we were mock masturbating! How disgusting! (and anyway, I thought I was covering it pretty well! lol)

So now I'm back at school (I went to London yesterday to see another play. No farting this time!) and I'm going home tomorrow to watch Friends and rest for a long time. In fact, Dave's even coming to stay at the end of the holiday cos hopefully we're going to record our songs and then I'll get famous, earn lots of money, lose it all gambling and see my career go down the plughole!

One last anecdote here. The other day (Tuesday I think) I was on duty (clearing up after meals). Anyway, I'd been bitchin' all day about Weightron's inability to do anything she is paid for. Well, I turn up 
at 10:30 to see what's left to be done and she tells me to pull my finger out! Pull my finger out? She lost hers 40 years ago! She then made me take massive tables across to the other side of the house and close windows cos she couldn't reach them ! Really!

I would now say come and visit my wonderful website - Jollie Ollie's 
Page of Fun, but Adam, being a lazy bitch, hasn't been bothered to put it online yet. So yeah, have fun, fart well and most of all, BE FIERCE !!!!

P.S. One of Dave's DVDs, 8 Days A Week, is so cool. Bit random, but cool!
P.P.S Don't think I've been bitchy enough here so...

Trow - you stink of shit
Dave - get a dick
Adam - loooooooooser ('nuff said)
Gonzo - stop being weird
Weightron - find your finger!
Chrissy - you just fierce, woman!!!
Adam - put up my site your lazy mofo! (deserved of 2 bitches!)

Ollie should win the Pulitzer for that blog update that kept me hooked from start to finish. It was a piece of online, literary, diary genius. I mean I've read some blogs in my day and that has to be one of the best ones I've read all year. Pardon me for saying but damn it Ollie that was a great update. It had it all. Anyway enough praise. 

Yeah i'll put your friggin' site up. It should be up on Saturday.    

Sorry for not posting anything but been on holiday so didn't have the urge spend lots of time posting updates or writing anything. Besides my grandparents are tight, very toight! about using the phone line. 

Well, during the holz I got busted by the cops twice, pushed my car (with friends) while heavily under the influence of booze and hooked up with a polish opare (spelling?) who was minding my two cousins. All in all not a bad vacation. 

The pushing the car story, someone came up with the great idea of: "Adam im not letting you drive at all if you've had a drink, but i'll let you push the car if you like".  So I went for the latter and we pushed my car which was fun until we got tired and drove the car to a secluded place to park where it wouldn't get wrecked. Just so happened that as soon as I put the handbrake up the police came around the corner. Thank goodness they were only looking to chat but they got my plates so no more being in a car reeking of alcohol. The second time around my encounter with the police wasn't so pleasant. They actually took my details down and asked difficult questions about my ethnic origin and what was I doing out so late at night with a car with the engine on. I answered truthfully, he smiled and told me not to do it again. I smiled back said 'thanks dude', which sounded really gay but he paid no heed to it, and my friend and I made for my place while taking in the night. 

Great little vacation

till later 

Adam      

P.S. Mattie P, I got an offer for Kent are you still going? If you are Dude another 4yrs with you would be pretty sweet.  I'll email you about it. 

Amazonian clad women 

Howdy there partner!

Today has got to have been one of my best days every (well, not really)! I got nearly all my DVD’s from Amazon all in one big go! So there was this big ass Amazon box for me, and I never get post! So I’m really happy about that (Adam, I’ll bring them down in half term)… all that’s missing is Human Traffic (the special edition), all though I haven’t seen it or a preview, I’ve been told it rocks, and I was running out of films I really wanted.

True story: Amazon doesn’t have Water World with Kevin Kostner!

I couldn’t believe it, one of my favourite films of all time, and they didn’t have it, although it got shit reviews it rocked… “he’s got gills!!!!” it was also one of the most expensive films ever made after his man made island sunk… ultra goootz…

Yeah, but back to the story of my DVD’s arriving, well, as I mentioned in a previous update, they didn’t send anything off for ages and ages (dispatch anything) so I wrote to them complaining and asking them what the hell had happened to my DVD’s and they said that they apologize for the delay, but they’re waiting for the last DVD to be ready, but they said because of the big delay, they would send most of the ones already, and sure enough, I got all but 1 today… AMAZON ROCKS!!! So, for the whole of this week, I’m watching movies!

Anyways, after my meaningless spurt of joy (don’t be disgusting you sick monkeys), im going to bid you all a farewell…

Bye

Dave

Man oh man Electric six brings a tear to my eye when I hear them. I didn't think a band could ever portray my inner demons but electric six have done it. 

I finally know how to describe myself: Im a dance commander, who gives out the order for fun. With words like these common how can you go wrong: 

I got a new girl now, she don't understand me but she's getting hot now

and she's white (white)
She is so white, shes white like the light never like the night
Shes white (white) she is so white
I was born to excite her, she could never be whiter toniiii-iight.

I was born a hunter in your jungle of sin, oh yeah
(yeah, yeah, yeah)
And our love was a sport, but she'd let me win, oh yeah
(yeah, yeah, yeah)
And I shot those arrows, I flung those balls
But she returned my fire and shot me in the heart

Ultimate sweetness! 

On a sad note though, orange doesn't rhyme with anything,  no i'm only fooling you. 

It just hit me that for the past month i haven't been out with anyone, i've been to the cinema on my own 4 times and only hanged out with friends at school. This just further emphasizes my wish to go and live in a remote place i feel so inadequate around people. I mean I love being around people and hanging around with friends but i cant bare to be with them for more than an hour or two. What the hell has happened to me? I swear its my grandparents or its England in general.

So with that   

I need someone to freak me like i've never been freaked before (preferably a girl) (grins) 

Okay bye  

You now, I don't think a guy can be so violently be rejected by a girl and still be a heterosexual male. I swear i've haven't been rejected that bad since..... my manhood refused to be excited over the prospect of sex. NoooooooO! Did I just say that! Only bromeando-ing you. 

Anyway so I rang this girl up on the weekend in the hopes of asking her out to the cinema or to go and get something to eat. We've been friends for awhile and it seemed the correct next step. So, we start chatting away and during this im waiting for the right moment to strike and ask her out. Then my keen sense of hearing picks up giggling in the background and muffled conversation. I choose ignorance and continue with my plan of asking her out. Fast forward a bit, I get to the asking and she cuts me mid sentence and tells me that she going out tonight with her friends. 

She was humouring me!!!! Damn all women! She didn't even have the guts to say no properly, she knew what was coming and discreetly excused herself without giving me a damn explanation or having to make up some stupid excuse about how she thinks we have something better than that or im waiting for someone else. It shouldn't be a big deal but damn her. It took me so long to build the courage to ring her. 

In light of this I was thinking that the world needs ego-boost pills. So then I could walk around all day being really up myself no matter what people say. However, I think this already exists in the form of crack. 

Okay then 

Yours 

Adam

Not that I particularly think Janet Jackson is hot but its such big news here in the UK or pretty much the world I just thought I should acknowledge her boob as well. I think the picture just does the incident so much justice. 

Justin: "Wow what the fuck is that thing on her nipple??? "

Janet: "Did I choose a big enough nipple accessory?? I should have gone for the flashing one??".

Now that I think about it my comments aren't funny at all. I should become a builder.  

Nothing life altering has been happening worth a mention. My culinary skill have greatly improved but my secret is the George Forman grilling machine. Yeah, the one that drains off all the oil/fat. Its 'da bomb' I got one from my Nan. Don't know why, but anyway its the bestest I've like been cooking non stop now. I even toasted my sandwiches for school today. Not that it matters that they will be cold by the time I eat them but hey, I will be the coolest kid in school today because I HAVE TOASTED sandwiches. 

On one of my many lonely moments of contemplation at work yesterday I was just wondering what do the Aussies think of, I'm a celebrity get me out of here???? Do they just laugh at the stupid British wannabe famous people and are glad that gained their independence from a country of stupid people; or does the Aussie government pretend that its not even happening to prevent Australians from becoming dense themselves?? 

With that i'm off because.... I have a problem that I cannot explain.. I have no reason why it should have been so plain.....I like the reason why I should be so confused.... 

Adam

Allrighty then…

Today was amazing… It’s been snowing for the last two days and we’ve got a good collection of snow, although most of the day people didn’t show up, we still had school. But that doesn’t matter, as for after school, there was this massive snow ball fight… 

Us being dumb and the oldest year, thought we’d be cool and join in, destroying peoples faces and their moral, oh boy were we wrong…. We got destroyed, but considering the amount of people that were up against us, I thought that we did rather well.. The numbers were, most of our landing (5 of us) against 4 groups that consisted of 40 people each… All groups surrounded us, and ganged up against us (I was actually quite surprised at their cowardly tactics…).. In the end, the snow ball fight turned into a fight in the snow, with fuking hundreds of kids, ganging up on one of us (mainly Trow)… 

In fact, Trow was annihilated, when he got taken down, at least 7 people were on him kicking him, punching him, and just being generally not very nice ppl towards him, and his body guards were me and Ollie, considering that every time he went down, we took four people off at once, each I think we did considerably well, loads of flying fists (which I didn’t realise till afterwards, otherwise, the mo-fo’s would be in hospital) and tackles, and WWF moves… awesome… 

Trow says he’s pretty “chuffed” with the outcome considering he took every hit that came his way, and giving his fair share back as well. I was really pleased with my tombstone I did on this big guy, made him land on his head, thought I might of broken his neck, but didn’t really care as some other dickhead dump tackled me straight after, (btw, kicked his ass as well, put him in a head lock and chucked him while doing it)… Wow… was a brilliant day, sadly, the fight had to end when it came to tea time, which was just when I realised that people were actually punching and kicking peoples heads and guts… 

Hmm, there’s always tomorrow (although it’s stopped snowing.. gay gay gay!)

What else to say.. oh yeah, I haven't got any of my movies yet, very disappointed… Mair Cup practice has started again, for those who don’t know, it’s a big school event were the different houses compete against each other to see who the best house is musically. Rules are that it’s all student organised (well, no help from the teachers), and that you’re not allowed to repeat a song that’s already been done. They’re 3 parts of the competition, an instrumental, a main choir, and a little choir… People go nuts over this thing. Last year, I organised the instrumental for Fry, (my old house) and I think I got second place out of the other houses, but there was this cheating little cunt, cause, you’re not allowed to do the same thing, but since they’re different judges every year, this little kid (pretty talented I guess) plays his xylophones amazingly, and wins every year (holding 2 beaters in each hand…) 

Wat a poo… well, this is too long already… see u all later
Dave

- In the garage I feel safe, No one cares about my ways, In the garage where I belong, No one hears me sing my song. 

I leave you with a song today. Probably one of the greatest underrated bands ever.

The world has turned and left me here
Just where I was before you appeared
And in your place, an empty space
Has filled the void behind my face
I just made love with your sweet memory
One thousand times in my head
You said you loved it more than ever
You said
You remain, turned away
Turning further every day
I talked for hours to your wallet photograph
And you just listened
You left enchanted by my intellect
Or maybe you didn't
Do you believe what I sing now?

Received the first batch of movies and all I can say is.... Akira Kurosawa, I'm not worthy, my life is yours for the taking, please take my first born child.  Maybe i'm taking it a little to far but he has given me the reason for being. However, the other movies have painstakingly disappointed me and not given me any insight into love or sadness. I don't know what i'm on and i'm not sure movies are the best way to find what i'm looking for but it seems a good as place as any to start.    

Your deranged friend 

Adam

Im really thinking of you when I watch porn. Only joking.  

So I have this gift voucher for £50 from Amazon yet what the hell do I buy I’ve decided to place all the funds on DVDs and music.

Damn its hard to choose so much choice well, anyhow I’ve decided in terms of music to get (bare with me) The best of prince (guy who removed to ribs to give himself head) and Electric six who came out with classics such as I want to take you to a gay bar and Dance commander. All I can say is that im going through this stage of random music, which has no reference to what I usually listen to. Besides Prince must have been the biggest poof around but he got so many women. I think it was FHM that voted him in the top ten of studliest studs because of the amount of women he got with. Not that im trying to defend him (or myself for that fact) but his song themed in the original batman (probably one of the best movies ever made). Electric six…. Well they used to be called the wild bunch so you can’t go wrong with that.

In term of movies I’ve gone for art house movies in the hope that it will give me reason for being or at least explain why I feel so insignificant. I haven’t got them yet but it goes along the lines of Three colours of blue and a box set of Spanish films: Habla con ella, Todo sobre mi madre and Piel vivo.

Anyways this is has no relevance to anything I'm just chattering endlessly.

Is it so wrong buying a soft porn movie for film educational purposes? Most people seem disgusted or laugh at me when they ask why I’ve bought Emmanuelle (1970 French taboo, semi-porn film which broke boundaries and the such. Dubbed Erotic masterpiece) its just a piece of film history which every avid movie fan should have.  Look its not like I'm desperate. Fuck! Who am I kidding? 

so not porn, if it is porn its at least gentleman porn

Hey all,

Gotta tell ya bro, that is some sad shit… u should never realise how alone u r, I do it all the time, until I forget about it (try pot/alcohol). Man, dad’s ban on not letting me go anywhere is gonna prove to be a real bitch for the rest of my term… The weekend after exeat is Schulers 18th (Schulers a cool dude, shared a room with him and now I share a landing with him, one of my brothers), the weekend after that I’ve been invited to Alice’s get together party thing, and then it’s half term. At half term, im supposed to go and meet a friend from Brunei (who now lives here), and then supposed to go and record a CD with a talented singer/landing mate/brother, Ollie-G (wow, isn’t it amazing how ‘G’ at the end of a name can make it sound dope/doped up?). But, if I’m going to be following Dad’s wishes and rule to be forsaken to doing nothing but work (yeah my fuking arse) I can’t do any of them.. 

Actually thinking about it, it seems to me, that this is probably some of the worst parenting I’ve seen, (and I’ve seen my fair share), I feel that, now, since im not allowed to go out at the weekends or at other times, when I do go out, I’ve got to make the best of it, and get completely off my face, so that when I come back to school, it’s not half as bad as when I left, (usually lasts about 2 hours), then, I’m encouraged to smoke more as I’ve got nothing better to do, and just pretty much become a juvenile delinquent… In fact, I could take a bad attitude towards this and go completely against what he’s saying, and not care about school work/school at all, don’t do anything, and just slowly kill myself or get expelled first… hmmm, what to do, the choices the choices…

You know Adam, I often think about that UNI crap a lot too, and it’s amazing how many ppl tell you that you have to do it, and how many people tell you that you don’t. I was convinced I was gonna be able to tell mah and pah that I didn’t want to go to uni, but no, I was wrong, even the slight mention of not going was a good ol’ yell back… wat a bunch of muda-choots! Cibai, can’t wait till I finish with this shit and go live on a beach, loose contact will all people, and just die without anyone ever knowing… Anyways, I think I’ve ranted and raved enough  for another week, 

sorry ppl, not exactly in the happiest of moods…

In the words of M.J “ I love you all”  he’s a legend no matter how many children he molests (including Macaulay Culkin).

20.01.2004 -- I miss you 

Its gotten bad, I shouldn’t have watched Lost In Translation, it has made me realize how alone I am. I keep on wishing for my own demise. My god that’s pathetic! Why cant life be more like the movies.  I got another job working at Currys “always cutting prices” I should be happier but for some reason I’m not. I feel so empty. Stupid Bill Murray should have gotten with the hot younger chick. Damn she was fine. If only. On another note Japan is cool. That’s all.  

Oh, I wish I could sleep less I think I sleep more to try to forget life’s problems. Its always when I’m going to sleep that I start pondering the big things in life such as the Israeli, Palestine conflict, do I really want to go to University, does life have a purpose and will I get laid any time this month. Yeah… I know…these are way to serious problems to be thinking about at any one time.

Well…

Housekeeping, housekeeping u wan blow job, u wan pillows.  

Man i'm such a racing driver. Even if im stuck in traffic I can’t help and make car noises and pretend im hooning when its only a 30mile an hour zone.  Driving is the coolest yet while I say this there are times that I rather not drive. People on the road make me feel so inadequate. I try to be polite and let people come out of junctions or move over to the slow lane when people are desperate to overtake me, yet every time I do this, something goes wrong and they end up tooting at me or they aren’t ready to go so they tell me to continue. I also keep on having this scary feeling that im gona scrape into some dudes nice as sports car and he will get out of his car and beat on me because he’ll think im French (French car, left hand drive) (they drive on the right here) not because I scraped his car but because of my foreign car. Oh well worst things have happened at sea.

 On another note go watch Lost in Translation, it’s got Bill Murray. You know that he sort of went missing from the movie world after the likes of Groundhog Day and The spy who knew too much and went to France and got a degree in Philosophy. What a dude. He so gets How about no actor of the month. Not that we have actor of the month but he does. Man from that picture I so know how he feels.

Strain

Hi back from the holidays

It was all good and my stupid brother scored with 2 chicks on new years. I hate him hope you get eaten by Matron David. 

Anyway, I got the coolest present for Christ-mas an electric whisk-o- lait (it froths milk). I also got like a hot chocolate making set which comes with chocolate sprinkles, special chocolate sauce and oh, yes... little marshmallows. Life is....great.  

Oh im also driving now, I fancy myself a bit of a boy racer now. Im thinking about getting some sexy as alloys and a go faster stripe on one side of the car. Fucking garry boys! Hope you get ass raped. No only joking you might try kicking my ass. You fucking pansies!!  Man I feel tough slandering them on the internet.

Yeah well till later 

Yours, 

Adam

So i'm not doing to well with the women scene at the moment or haven't been doing well with the woman scene for sometime now. Anyway, ask me about how i'm doing on the guy scene? And I would have to tell you i'm shit hot with blokes and thye want my panties (or somewhat to those lines). 

Something im not to proud of, trust me but since I started  it is really demoralizing when you get given a guys number who wants you come over to his house for a couple of beers and allow him to cook dinner for you when all you were interested in was why he bought washing powder and 10 lettuce bushes. Call me curious or just trying to make conversation but that doesn't sound like a "hey how you doin??" to me. Worse though is he turns up a week later in a damn co-op uniform saying that he got a job here. Shit! So I forget him asking me out and pretend everything's cool, surprise, surprise though he acts like a total jock/lad in front of everyone else and he's like Mr cool around the shop. 

In any case to cut the story short I agree to go over to his place because he's got some friends coming over and some "fit birds". Yeah my mama raised a fool frikkn male magnet of as fool. As you guessed HELL NO! No one is there and the first thing he does is hand me a dry martini and says tonight we have fun. Im scared shit and pouring my drinks down the sink every chance I get yet I still get drunk, because its not easy pretending not to drink 12bottles of beer and half a bottle of martini (as shots). Then he chucks on that Keanu/Anthony Hopkins Dracula movie which judging the circumstances makes the situation even weirder and scarier. In the end I manage to stay awake and make shit loads of excuses to leave he says he'll call me a taxi and I should wait till it arrives but no, all the taxis in the area are busy. Hmmmm something isn't right.  I say i'll walk I throw up as i step outside and I before he gets a chance to come back out with some water I'm running and hoping that I haven't hurt his feelings. 

Common sure he was nice, Adam don't be a homophobe. Bull shit!  I swear he put one of those date-rape drugs in one of my drinks and was wondering why I hadn't fallen asleep yet. If his plans went ahead I would having been walking home as if id been horse riding for the day. Moral of the story dont be so damn nice to everyone. 

I so now how it feels for a girl. Ha, my ass.

Later

P.S. Im not going to kill myself. Only this cute puppy. Jokes

Remembrance day today. It always makes me think of Brunei. 

Yes, yes before any of you start saying "stupid idiot remembrance day is about remembering those who gave their life in war and dobbey, doobey doo". Yet the reason Brunei always comes to mind during remembrance day, is because remembrance day at my old school (I.S.B) involved everyone getting out of class and standing around the field (not because looked cool, usually because it was so swamped down and stank of shit) and standing in absolute quietness while the sun shone brightly. You could usually hear a bird twittering away in the background . Its one of those "you had to be there moments" anyway the effect was generally overwhelming and gave you a real sense of worth. 

Hmmm right, so anyway I came across this pic of Matt, myself and richard people from my boarding school. Quite cool, I think we were going on about how awesome Tenacious D are. 

It might be a bit warped and shit coz this comp sux but yeah click on it for the link and original size.

Having a Bad Day? Not me - November 2003Hi,

 I cant believe I'm getting criticisms for not being funny. That's harsh. I am trying you know. In person I'm told I'm quite amusing maybe even hilarious.

 Anyway skool is for fools and I have stupid history essays coming out of my ears let that be a lesson to those of you who are thinking of flunking out of college/school you suck!!! You have more guts than me. I think I've finally come to terms to why I decided to return (aside from making my parent happy) I'm scared to face or play any part in the real world. Nahhh not really only kidding. Just trying to get a reaction. 

Matrix Revolutions comes out today at 2pm, I don't know what makes 2pm so special around England but yay! Its about fucking time. You know the 1st one came out and yeah that was cool, the second comes out and your like that's not bad now you just want to watch the 3rd to get it out of the frikking way. Stupid, clever story lines with cool fight sequences. Im just a big kid. 

One last thing computer repair people suck dick!! Frikking charged me £70 to fix my comp and as far as I know the only problem was windows, which I could have re-installed myself if I wasn't afraid of loosing what's on my C drive (trying to sound computer knowledgeable, honestly though I don't know shit about puters, boy).  I work my ass off all half term stacking shelves from 9am till 10pm for what?!?!?! To pay the computer f-ing technicians 2days pay for 2hours work!!! I hope the guy who fixed my comp get hit by a bus! If not at least a small car. 

Okay so from the 90's were cool central

Peace out 

What's wrong with your computer little boy?

  November 2003 - Angry Moffo

Alrighty then, this is my first update for a loooong time, 

So, I’m gonna fuking bore you death… 

As visitors may know, the guest book is actually turning into a war zone where people just throw gay "jokes" at each other (all day long), and let me highlight the word jokes as I wouldn’t want any of the ladies to get n-e ideas.

Those who don't know who I am, I am DoG, Adams brother, real name's Dave but DoG’s been my net name for ages.

Uhhmm, yeah, Adam, hopefully the renovations for howaboutno are well under way cause truthfully man, the sites looking pretty shitty… I got a pic of Faadzil fer ya, but I can’t seem to send it cause it says it’s too big, but I’ll see if I can zip it.. If ppl reading this r wondering who Faadzil is, well tough shit, just going to have to wait… And since there’s nothing interesting for me to say or nuffin funny I can say, I thought I'd finish with a picture of what Americans do in their spare time. 

that’s it from me then, till next time,

Hey Dave? I don't get it? Do they like standing next to guns in their free time or build them. 

Laters, DoG

Adam here- Every time I read your post I think of Limpbizkit, No offence or anything bro but you don't have to lay the smack down when you post. People are generally quite understanding... I think. Anyway gay is so last years black. 

What am I doing?!?! October 2003

 I don't even know why I'm posting this shit up?!?! I don't even find it that funny. Fair enough the occasional gay joke is quite humorous but then the rest of the time its just plain silly. Maybe I'm hoping for something productive or cool. 

It doesn't really matter though if shit begins to hit the fan then I guess I'll just have to drop the posts. I  hate to admit it though some of the shit in the message board (guestbook) is kind of a funny in a juvenile kind of way... just like Bucky o Hare

Wasn't Bucky cool?? He kicked butt

Anyway gay this, and gay that 

Well, looks like I've been imitating a few too many people who I fantasize over and Im now making the guestbook into a gay guest book (it's all part of my conquest to turn this site gay, gay gay gay)... oooo, the pleasure... 

Oh Adam, I  think that you should call this part of the site, Jollie/Gay Ollies, guest book! The ratings will soar through the roof (and hopefully up my anus) ; ) and maybe you could make the background purple, as you know, Purple is the new gay colour! If there are any gay people out there, please connect with me, as I love all people, ALL, I need friends, so please write back, so I can talk to you, and make friends with you and stroke you, and meet up with you, and stroke your thighs…awww, we could be best of friends… if you decide to be friends with me, write to : [email protected] so that he can forward all your lovely messages to me… 

I love you all, 

Jollie Ollie! XXX

Oh by the way Fuck!! How am I going to get to Auz this x-mas to save the world from certain death and destruction?  The ticket I wanted has disappeared and all the other airlines are charging what I earnt during the summer holz so Im pretty messed up. No worries though something will turn up. Maybe I'll have to get a boat and paddle all the way there, but I will prevail.

 Oh well I leave you with the best site in the world or at least best site of the week 

It so definitely wins site of the week.

Oh in conjunction you might want to check this site out as well 

www.cutehamsters.cjb.net

Dude, post this up, your guest book won't do it... cheers maighty, aight, laters...

I TAKE IT UP THE REAR, AND TAKE SHOTS IN THE MOUTH, IT'S LIKE A PARTY IN MY MOUTH AND EVERYONE'S INVITED... I DRINK FROM THE FAIRY CUP... i really want to fuck Dave, but I can't, he's soo manly, and strong, and probably too big that he'd rip my bungholio.... and then my already high pitched voice would only be heard by dogs.... oh well, at least i can still use my pneumatic drill (i'm so lucky that my fat dampens the noise), otherwise i'd be fucked up the rectum.. DAMMIT, i wish i was thin!! You, a funny thing happened to me yesterday, i was lying on the beach, and suddenly, some1 yelled, BEACH WHALE!!! i took offence to this, so i got up and was ready to leave, but i soon realized that there WAS actually a beached whale (that happened to be smaller than me) so i Headed towards it and slipped, undoubtedly on it's erect penis, people called the cops and said i was disturbing the peace and so the put me in Jail for the night, Man, could i have been any luckier?!!! Managed to suck off a whale, and become some1's bitch all in the same day... I can't even walk straight anymore! i hope you all have the same luck in your up-coming days... *sigh*.... signing out with my bum juice on the keyboard and mouse.... 

jolly/gay Ollie.... 

it's a sign...

Adam here, yes I have degenerated to a childlike incomprehensible state that I'm willing to post this up. I not sure if it is a rhyme but it works quite well as one. I didn't write it either.  By the way this site is cool so says Mr Rodgers. It truly is a wonderful day in the neighborhood. 

Thanx for that Mr Rodgers I love your work, very clean mmm

Thursday October 2003

Since when has school been cool? I feel like such a drop out. Im 19 and still at college or at least doing one of my courses again because im thaaaaat dumb. Had I been smart I would have just faced the facts and taken a job or just become a bum. 

Im surrounded by all these people who are way more mentally mature than me and all of them are frikking giants and ridiculously good looking. I fucking hate the next generation I think parents should take it into their hands not to have children or at least have defunct kids. 

I.e. Not sporty, Fat, very dumb, have big toes or really arrogant snotty kids so that even if they are good at everything no one will like them. 

Well that's all I got to say today. Watching Kill Bill tomorrow. Yay! 

Oh yeah check out my html brilliance I got a guestbook but to be cool I called it a message centre. I didn't even make it to be honest. 

So, David Blaine in a box, hanging from tree, like a leaf

How does the guy jerk off??? He so is totally thinking about it in this pic. Man I wonder if there are any pics of him having a tug? Hmmm. Hey has anyone noticed he got fat before he went in?

bye

Wednesday 17th October 2003

Hello what have you done today? 

In a pensive mood at the moment I got beaten up by a chick or more like I knew she could beat me up so I didn't persist the theme of the conversation. Today I was also asked a rather interesting question why do guys like lesbians so much?? Well clearly a girl asked me this question because most ordinary testosterone driven males would clearly say "MMmmmm mmmm, mmmt dem, lesbians is beautiful". 

However this girl that asked, did lay the point that "its not like all women start drooling and behave like wild bison on heat when two homos get it on". Not that I have anything against homosexuals (the church of England does though, that's aside the point). So anyway my only answer to the her question would have been that two women together is more sensual, appealing and available on tap. I'm not sure about the last one though but yeah in my world it would be. Basically guys think about women all the time so what's better than one woman? Two. And what is better than two? Two and a wild bison on heat in the same room or wherever you may be.  Is that true or what!?!?!

Okay slap you mum! Because you know she needs it

Till later, 

Adam

P.S. Whose seen Kill Bill? Wanna write a review =  [email protected]

Tuesday 09 2003- Everything's gone to shit.

Yeah my world has been flushed down the loo so in an attempt to bring some light to it and since there is a serious lack of blog site I thought I would fill the void (sarcasm) I just thought I would do this update if anybody decides to take a gander and look this place and see what is being done. As you can see nothing much. Anyway you got something to say or want the site its yours just email me at [email protected]  for the password or whatever.
yeah im still in the uk.
aight later

Adam 

Guy who used to live in paradise.