*Fenrir walks up onto the stage.� Kiyone, Gohan, Yosho, and Karade enter and take their seats.*

 

Yosho: So what do you have for us today Fenrir?

 

Fenrir: I have an e-mail that I got today.

 

Kiyone: An e-mail?

 

Karade: Is it another one of those horse XXX ones?

 

Fenrir: Errr, no.� Thankfully.� It�s uh, well I can�t even begin to describe it so I will just show it to you.

 

����������� >>If you are a time traveler or alien

 

Yosho, Kiyone, and Gohan: *Raise their hands.* We�re aliens.� Does this mean we can go?

 

Fenrir: No!

 

����������� >>and or in procession of alien

 

Karade: Alien bodies?� Oh those are out at Lake Groom (A.K.A. Area 51).

 

����������� >>or government technology

 

Yosho: Government technology?� So is that stuff invented by the government?

 

����������� >>I need� your help!

 

Kiyone: Well clearly you need help.

 

����������� >>My case is truly genuine!

 

Yosho: Genuine leather?

 

����������� >>I seek to work with someone who is of a good nature,

 

Kiyone: Well that�s an awkward sentence.

 

����������� >>someone I can call my savior as well as a friend.

Yosho: Well I know a minister you could call.� I think he would be better suited than the government to discuss such matters.

>>My life has been severely tampered

Karade: Let me guess Chichi still has to buy medicine with child proof tamper lids?

 

Gohan: That�s right!� How did you know that?

 

Karade: Oh, just a guess.

 

����������� >>with and cursed!!

 

Gohan: Ahhh!� Black magic!

 

����������� >>I have suffered tremendously and am now dying!

 

Kiyone: Oh great, another person who is just a tad overzealous in their use of exclamation points.

>>I need to be able to:

 

Gohan: Write better?

 

Kiyone: Stop using punctuation in the wrong ways?

 

Karade:� Stop sending weird e-mails?�

Yosho: Seek mental health?

 

����������� >>Travel back in time.

Gohan: You know Trunks�

 

Karade: We know, we don�t care.

>Rewind my life including my age back to 4.

Kiyone: Why four?� Why not three or five?

 

Yosho: Let�s not ask questions.

 

����������� >>I am in great danger and need this immediately!

 

Karade: What?� Are the men in white coats about to catch up with you?

>>I want to work with you in any way possible.

 

Kiyone: You know, I can understand someone wanting advance technology asking Fenrir.� I mean he is the greatest genius on Earth, but what makes this guy think Fenrir would help him?� Fenrir�s not a nice guy.

Fenrir: Hey!

 

����������� >>I am aware of two types of time travel

 

Karade: Forward and backward?

 

����������� >>one in physical form and the other in

 

Kiyone: Mental form.

 

����������� >>energy form where a snapshot of your brain is taken using either the dimensional warp

 

All: Huh?

 

Kiyone: Dimensional warp?

 

Yosho: I have no idea.

 

����������� >or the brain snapshot device

 

Karade: From the way he�s talking one would get the impression that this �brain snapshot device� is a common everyday product.

 

����������� >>and then sends your consciousness back through time to part with your younger self.

 

Karade: *Waves the �What the Hell?� flag.*

 

����������� >> I'm almost certain the dimensional warp would� be the safest and best solution.�

 

Yosho: I think we�ve found someone more insane than LQ.� This guy is freaking nuts!

 

����������� >>Please explain how safe and what your method involves.

Karade: My method involves a giant hammer, a roll of duct tape, and a package of Jello.

 

Kiyone: *Hums MacGyver theme.*

>>I have a time machine now, but it has limited abilities and is useless

 

Yosho: Okay two things.� 1.� What the hell?� 2.� If it had limited abilities then doesn�t that mean it has little use, not totally useless.

>>without a vortex.

 

Kiyone: Oh I see, all it needs is a vortex to work.� Yeah that makes a lot of sense.

����������� >>If you can provide information on how to create vortex generator

 

Karade: Well if we knew what the hell a vortex was. . .

 

����������� >>or where I can get some of the blue glowing moon crystals

 

All:. . . .

 

Karade: *Waves the �What The Hell?� flag?* What the hell is this guy on?

 

>>this would also be helpful. I am however concerned with the high level of radiation these crystals give off,

 

Kiyone: Well they are glowing.� What did you expect?

 

����������� >>if you could provide a shielding this would be helpful.

 

Yosho: Okay, any one have �a shielding?�

 

Karade: Nope.

 

Kiyone: No I don�t.

 

Gohan: I have some lint.� Does that help?

 

����������� >>I believe the vortex would have to be east-west polarized,

 

Kiyone: I am completely lost.� How the hell are we supposed to make jokes about something like this?

 

����������� >>North-south polarized vortexes are used for cross-dimensional time� travel only.

Yosho: Well of course. I mean that makes perfect sense.� The Earth�s spin and all that.

>>If you have this technology and can help me please send me a (SEPARATE)

 

Kiyone: And make sure it�s not a whole.

 

����������� >>email to:

 

*The others look at Karade.*

 

Karade: Oh no, there is no way I want this guy being able to contact me.

>>Thanks

 

All: No thank you.� Freak.