Mr. Attitude's House Of Hate

January 16th, 4:19pm

I hate television. Most of the time I have it on simply for background noise that isn�t as distracting as music is. Lately, all I ever hear about on t.v. is diets. Something like 54% of North America is overweight. (I�m not sure if that�s a correct statistic, because I am too damn lazy to go look it up.) And everyone with the tiniest bit of �star� quality is praising their diets that keeps them from looking like normal people.

Recently on Entertainment Tonight, or one of the several hundred rip-offs thereof, Oprah Winfrey was pushing her diet, which consists of, and I quote, �I don�t eat white foods.� What the fuck is that? Has Oprah finally become so drunk with power she can push quasi-racist weight loss tips on us?

Wait, it gets dumber.

The new craze is the Atkin�s Diet. Designed by an old man by the name of Dr. Robert C. Atkins. From what I can tell from going to the Atkins website, the main goal is to lower your carbohydrate intake. Or by cutting out �high carb� food altogether. On of the worst foods you can eat, according to Dr. Atkins, is bread. Yes....bread.
Lewis Black, a commentator on the Daily Show With John Stewart said it best while discussing the retardedness of this diet: �I guess we�ve been eating the wrong thing....SINCE THE DAWN OF CIVILIZATION!�
Now, this doesn�t mean the Atkins diet doesn�t work, simply ask the corporate sponsored Atkins Womens Sailing Team.
On the other hand, here�s Dr. Ron Kennedy from Santa Rosa, California, �Complex carbs with lots of fiber should be consumed in proper proportion for maximum health and vitality.� Seems to me that we need carbohydrates to preform various tasks, such as shitting and LIVING.

I hate when people drop by unannounced. Not so much because these uninvited guests can�t grasp the idea of taking twenty seconds to phone and say, �Hey, I�m coming over.� But more of the fact that when people just �drop by� they never goddamn leave.
I�ve been timing people when I have them over. If invited, they stay for about two hours. On the other hand, if they �drop by� they stay for three to four hours. Now, three to four hours is not that much time in the big scheme of things, but when you�re in the middle of something, ie: writing for your website or profession, three to four hours is a death sentence.
I have also noticed that these annoying �droppers by� seem to always show up around lunch and supper time, which leads one to believe that these transient friends don�t wish to spend time with you at all, but merely eat your food, watch your t.v. and use your bathroom.