Mr. Attitude's House Of Hate

June 11, 2004

The more t.v. I watch, the more I hate it.

I hate commercials. Now I�m not sure if they�re the same in America, but there are two commercials I despise the most at the moment.

First off is Nestle�s new version of the �bubbly chocolate bar�, Aero. They have added a thin layer of caramel to their regular product. To push this �Advancement in choco-tainment�, they have made and ad so fucking annoying, it ranks right up there with Jerry Seinfield. (I don�t care if I spelled his name wrong, he is an unfunny, annoying piece of shit.) Anyways, in this commercial, these two broads are in a store and one spots the new display of Aero Caramel. So, she snatches up a bar, rips it open and shares it with her equally stupid friend. Then they stand there and say �I wuv cawamel!� with mouths full of stolen chocolate. A narrator talks about how it�s new and wonderful, then back to the store and there is now a herd of women with mouths full of stolen candy bars, all yelling �I WUV CAWAMEL!�
http://www.nestle.ca/en/Products/Browse_by_Category/Chocolates/aero_caramel.htm

And then Dr. Scholls steps in with his new �Gel inserts� for your shitty shoes. This one starts off with a bunch of people around a pool, apparently at some party. Oddly enough, there�s like, nine men and one woman. And, as most people do, all they talk about is how they�re �gellin.� Go here and you can actually see the shityness for yourself.
http://www.drscholls.com/showcase.aspx?scid=2
Now, I don�t know about you, but if I went to a party, there was only one girl there, and all people wanted to talk about was their inserts for their shoes, I would drown each and every one of them fuckers in the pool and stab their water logged corpses.

God, I hate tv.

Except for the Daily Show With John Stewart, South Park, and this show,
http://www.thewb.com/Shows/GenericShow/0,11116,169159,00.html,
The WB�s Superstar USA. They have some video clips on the site, so go there and enjoy.
You�re probably wondering, �Uh, Mr. Attitude, The WB is a gay-ass teeny-bopper feel-good station that got big with Dawson�s Creek. Why the good god hell are you watching a show from that horrible station?� Because, fuckies, that show is the Anti-American Idol. The WB Superstar USA is a show almost exactly like the aforementioned Idol, with one twist, Superstar is looking for the WORST singer in America.

The three judges, ToneLoc, Vitamin C, and some guy named Briggs, tell all these ear splitting singers they�re amazing and other wonderful bullshit. And these horrible fucks believe they�re good singers. Basically, they mock these bastards while we sit and laugh at their crappiness. And all the oddities show up. From a chick with big tits who reads lyrics off her hand, to people who can barely speak english, and of course, anorexic/obese gay guys who think they�re pop-divas. Funny shit.