| Journal Entry June 27, 2002 2:02am |
| Life�s full of uncertainties. That�s for sure. The winding ways in which it works are obvious to me. Yet I don�t know exactly what these intricate patterns mean. Are they all supposed to work into the scheme of things and teach you a lesson much like a puzzle, where all the pieces are needed to complete the task? That�s what I�ve heard but who really knows for sure anyway. I�m attempting to keep my head tight on my shoulders. To deal with the troubles that come my way as they appear. But sometimes they do build up upon each other to form a mound of problems in need of attention. That�s when things start to get tough. I try and organize my thoughts. I tell myself it will be okay while putting my fears to one side. Fear will only hold you back from experiencing this working of some greater force. So I let go of these boundaries and allow myself to be a free spirit. But how long is it again before these feelings turn into an endless cycle of triumph and depression. That�s where I have trouble. I have picked up on this way that life�s complications get a little harder and harder each time. They become increasingly difficult to overcome and deal with. I am guessing the only thing there is to do is wait it out, stay focused and keep your eyes on improvement. Don�t be stubborn about life because you will see some day how things truly run. The right decisions are often directly in front of you, many are blind to this. But it is usually when things are right in front of you that they are least obvious anyway. This is when people run to �god� and ask him to lead them in the right direction. When they lose a sense of their spirits they run for shelter in his arms much like a child to his mother. Some people never do grow out of this and come to the realization that they have just as much power within themselves to decide their fate. The majority are too unstable and lack the will to do so themselves. They are the weak ones in my eyes. And sure the idea of this god helps people everyday. And so be it if that is the way they wish to improve their lives. I personally choose to take a different approach. When things get me down the last thing I will do is give up and turn to self pity. That�s the worst thing you could do. You need to stay strong believe in yourself and anything is possible. This has proved itself to be correct in my life. If you loose touch of the realities in your life, they will make themselves visible through tragedy often times. You must stay aware and positive. People in general are extremely vulnerable. Very weak. And they think there is no way out just because tragedy strikes. It is only your mind trying to teach you to pay attention, be more aware. See those things others don�t and make your life worthwhile. Maybe someday I will get to understand the full picture, but until then, keep at the puzzle until your puzzle reveals itself! - Heather Lynn- |