I am a girl with starry eyes. Not that I couldn't recognize tis before, but its really evident now. At times when you have thought so extensively about life, that every idea, every dream imaginable has been invisioned. All i really, deeply want is something to call my own. I need things in my life that I can put focus on. Something to keep me pushing for whatever I've been preparing myself for so far. I need meaning. I have caught myself reaching for something that is not in front of me, intangible. Feeling frustration from now knowing what to do with myself on a daily basis. It just isn't a cookie cutter life. You really have to take channces and cut your own way through. Of course some take the easy way out if given the chance, but do they every truly live?! This world is something it should not be, full of irrelevance that only distracts us from the bigger picture. I awoke from a dream today; a feeling of the presence of a parallel world kind of dream. As soon as my eyes opened I forced myself back to sleep, just to experience something more real for a change. A difference in pace maybe...I'm not saying that I don't enjoy things now, because I do have a lot to be grateful for. Im just missing that outside part, something that will complete me. I find that when I write here, Im always hoping for something else, hence the starry eyes. Our existance consists of hopes and dreams, accomplishments and misfortunes. There has to be something more, something we are all unaware of. A deeper kind of fulfillment.
My stars are fading.... |