| -Journal Entry, June 11, 2003- |
| This must be a year of change...that's my only explanation. I have learned to distinguish pain from real life lessons, a realization that may just as well change the course of my life. Loves had, loves lost, in various forms. Lives lived, lives taken. It is important to never underestimate the power of fate, or whatever you believe these disguised patterns truly are. It will bring you down if you wish it wouldn't, even farther down than you imagined fathomable, to points where you don't even see a single glimpse of light. Then again, all things will have alterior motives, underlying pupose. Relationships will and do come and leave us longing. The power within each and every interaction is worth the pain, because you somehow discover more and more about yourself and the way to your own happiness. the longing will make you want to do it all over again, just to feel the accompanying emotions once more. Just once more. I find that people are always trying to forget about lost loves, and the hurt they experienced during the course of their time with someone. They, for some reason hold on to the good memories though. There is no harm in remembering both because memories are where life lessons lie. But the realization of where ends begin and beginnings end is the key. Always look forward to the future, while living in the now. The future keeps us living, inside and out, and dreams make us who we are. Lives will come to an end at some point or another, and the worst thing that could occur is regret for what you should have done. My Grandmother passed on almost two months ago, leaving mourning in her place, but the scare of change was what really took a stab at everyone. It is hard to understand death, when the air is still and you can think of nothing but finality. Beginnings are what it is actually about. It should only be the end in some senses, their place should be a gift of inspiration to do what you feel best while times are in our favour. The love will always remain, but change is inevitable. It's up to you how you deal with it. |