Glasgow SECC --- The Darkness 12/2/06 
One Way Ticket Tour
Review by Reizza  /
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The SECC seems rather empty and bleak at 4:30 pm with only a few wandering around and a que of around a hundered outside the gates for The Darkness. You could be fooled into thinking that this wasn't going to be a popular gig...oh how wrong you would be... Within an hour the place is flooded and the que now something in the region of a thousand. The gates open at 6:30 and everyone floods in.  

	Come 7:00 The Ark grace the stage. Opening with their most well known tracks "Clamour for Glamour" and "Father of a Son" this really gets the crowd going. It is clear to see that The Ark are definatley a band to look out for. The audience is well and truly hyped after the half hour set and await the next support. The hype beforehand is savagly diminished by the dissapointing set of Julliette and The Licks as they churn out repetitive songs and drag on too long for anyones liking. The secondary guitarist even interupts the performance to draw attention to the fact that its his mothers birthday. This was not accepted well by the crowd. When they finally leave the stage a large black curtain is drawn over as the extravagant setup for The Darkness is prepared.

	After a painstaking wait the screens either side of the stage show The Darkness on a helicopter arriving which in turn sends the crowd into a frenzy. The stage then goes black. Silence. From the side of the stage we see Justin hover into the sky on a massive pair of breasts. Absolutely hilarious! The aptly named "Tit Chariot" flies out over the crowd as the rest of the band launch into album favourite "Knockers". Once the hilarity passes for this the band follow with recent single "One Way Ticket" and upcoming single "Is It Just Me?", both going down a storm.

	After letting the crowd settle down a bit Justin addresses everyone.
	"Hold on a minute....just have to adjust me knackers...". This produces a ripple of luaghter throughout. "There we go. On that subject everyone...A song about genital warts." A few of the unenlightened boggle for a minute. Justin walks over to face one of the massive amps and lets rip with gig highlight: "Growing on me". Other such highlights include : "Black Shuck", "Dinner Lady Arms" and a nine minute long rendition of "Love on the Rocks With No Ice" which somehow incorporated an excerpt from "Back in Black". The obvious main highlight of course being "Hazel Eyes" which sent the majority of the crowd into a patriotic mosh of sorts.

	A good deal later into the show some of the crowd start chanting "Sumo" at Justin in refrence to his new beer belly. Being the funny chap he is he lifts up the lower part of his catsuit and shoes it to the crowd, resulting a cheer which only the Scottish can seem to muster.
	"Well im not gonna sit in the gym all day exercising my life away am I?", he objects. "I wanna sit around drinking all day and f**kin pretty woman like you lot...". The crowd cheer a guilty cheer. "But I'll tell you one thing you wont be doing...". Justin looks upon the crowd with his evil grin "You wont put your hands on my f**kin woman!". With this The Darkness burst into ballbusting track "Get Your Hands Off My Woman". The band then finish with the most excellent of their songs "I Believe In A Thing Called Love" stopping halfway for the mandatory clapping of the hands.
	
	And once we all think it over the boys return for a blast of "English Country Garden" and "Bald" leaving the audience well and truly stunned for life as Justin flys over the crowd on a trapezium doing frontflips whilst soloing for "Bald". The only drawback would be that they didnt play any of their b-sides but with nearly every track from both albums it is a drawback that can be excused. The Darkness will save rock and roll...and they'll go to Hell and back to do it.