Anita and Me(era)
By Ramesh Kallidai
�Don�t ask me any questions please,� screamed Meera Syal, the star of Goodness Gracious Me, as she got up to receive me. �All I�ve been doing since morning is answering questions.�
I put on a brave smile and wondered if I should tell her she could ask me questions for a change. Instead, I ended up prudently congratulating her new film, Anita and Me. The film humorously portrays a teenaged Asian girl Meena, and her quest to bridge the cultural divide as the only Indian family in a mining village in Nottinghamshire.
�How much of the film was fiction and how much autobiographical?� I asked, almost getting the last word twisted the wrong way in my tongue. It was her turn to put on a brave smile now. �Some of it was me, while other bits were fiction. I had a similar schizophrenic childhood and the same parents as Meena � lovely and doting,� she elaborated. �And like Meena, I too struggled to bridge the gap between my parents� culture and the new culture. Meena�s friend, Anita was an amalgamation of many different girls I used to admire. And like her, we were the only brown family in the village and our whole social life was centred around the Methodist Church.�
�And did you call the Priest, �Uncle� like Meena did in the film?� I enquired. �Oh yes,� she replied. �Uncle Allan was a real dear, and was very forward thinking.�
�And what about your own role in the film?� I asked. �You played Aunty Shaila, the rather loud-mouthed and interfering family-elder, didn�t you?�
�Oh, I miss my aunts,� she sighed loudly. �These women actually hold the back of the sky. And in Asian families, everybody looks after everybody�s children. So its so much more fun.�
Meera�s father comes from a Hindu background while her mother is a Sikh. �My father believes that all paths lead to the same God. So we grew up in a liberal atmosphere,� she added. Meera believes that any person of colour is prone to experience some form of discrimination. �During my childhood I just accepted it as an everyday occurrence,� she remembered. �But in the media it is translated in different ways.�
�But didn�t you do anything about it?� I prodded. Meera raised her eyebrows and whispered in a clear voice, �Success is the sweetest revenge.� Indeed!
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Compassionless Auras
Swami Krupanandji�s representative Dhiresh Sachdev called me one fine rainy day. Apparently the Swami is not really a Swami. He lives a happy married life and has a doting family.
�According to the Vedic tradition, only someone who has renounced family life is awarded the title �Swami�, isn�t it?� I asked Sachdev with a puzzled expression. �So how is he a �Swami�?� �He goes back to his family only a few days a month,� explained Sachdeva, as if that made it quite all right. �Then Swamiji goes into a trance. And when he goes into a trance, his disciples enter into a greater trance.�
Not really keen on all this trance stuff, I quickly asked him if I could meet the Swami who was not. �He is in isolation here,� came the stoic answer. �His auras expand very rapidly so he can�t meet people.� I was getting more and more confused. A married Swami who had auras and trances, and still wouldn�t meet people seemed to have a mysterious aura, if anything. What on earth will they invent next?
�In order for him to meet people he has to bring them to his spiritual level. Therefore he must cleanse them first,� explained Sachdev. �He undergoes a lot of spiritual pain to undertake this process. So he cannot just pick a person from the street and meet him.�
Since I do roam the streets of London quite often, and since I am not really a very kind sort of person, I thought it prudent not to disturb the �auras� and other thingamajigs of the Swami who was not. Apparently he had lectured on 18th October in Dormers Wells High School, Southall, but the thought of giving spiritual pain to a person of such high social etiquette put me off from going.
�All his work is based on meditation. Unless there is peace and contentment within, there can be no peace outside,� finished Sachdev. I wondered what kind of peace and contentment the Swami who was not must have (or not have) if he was so keen to exclude people on the streets. Compassion is a scarce commodity. Swamis who are not, are not. Did that make sense?!