Title: WWW: Ridin Lessons
Author: Kendra
Ratings: WK (Who Knows)
Description: A grrl's gotta do what a grrl's gotta do
Archives: If you must
Disclaimer: Same stuff different day...I barely own myself
Notes: Be scared, this is off the cuff and a tad messy. And forgive me Julia, I can barely do the western drawl...French speak...OY!
Timeline: After Jael hangs George

The sun was high, the wind was warm, and the day was lazy. Ho's, Wench and Hybrids alike sat lounging lazily in rocking chairs in front of the Golden Spur. There was a sudden collective groan when they spotted a lone Ho leading her Leopard Appaloosa their way.

"Whose turn is it this time?" Judy quizzed as she took a sip of her beer.

"I think it's Dor's turn," Emmy quickly remarked.

"Oh no! I did my time in purgatory a couple weeks back. You remember what happened, she spooked and fell off the damned horse knocking me into Pelham who fell into Xan. And that in turn sent Xan ass first into that cactus," Dor loudly exclaimed with a shudder.

"Yep, Schoolmarm/Nurse Darry was pulling cactus spikes out of Xan's backside for days!" Laure gleefully laughed as Dor glared at her remark.

"It wasn't that amusin...that slight injury curtailed Xan's business ventures for days. Not to mention other more personal ventures," Calamity Dor snapped. "Besides...pullin the Nurse from the confines of her room made her madder than a rattlesnake with a toothache."

"Fine then...if it's not Dor's turn then it must be Dande's," Emmy insisted.

"I don't think so, surely you are mistaken," Dande sweetly objected. "Did you forget the sidesaddle incident?"

"Guess I did forget about that," Judy sighed as she noticed the Ho and horse slowly advancing on the gathered group of grrls. "I didn't think Sheriff Jinn would ever get the molasses out of his hair," the bartender laughed as the others joined in.

"It was devistatin! It took me days of washin his hair to be able to get it clean enough to run my fingers through his luscious mane," Dande replied as her eyes once again took on that dreamy look when she talked about her star-studded man. Her usual gushing brought about the mandatory eye rolling and gagging from the gathered Ho populace.

"Well, if it's not Dor or Dande, then for sure it has to be Tara's turn," Emmy once again suggested.

"Oh, I think not!" Tara nearly shouted as she tightly clutched her pencil and pad of paper. Like any good reporter, Tara was always prepared and on the lookout for the latest gossip or note worthy news in Hestia. "When she lost control that time, she knocked me into the hitchin post."

"That's right, Darry was in the middle of teachin Cic how to count to a hundred. She wasn't real happy bout pulling splinters from Tara's butt for the next two days," Laure shuddered.

"True, true," Kymira nodded her head in agreement as she polished her knife while rocking leisurely.

"Then it has to be Jen's turn," Emmy exclaimed as she squinted in the bright sun as the Ho and her horse got even closer.

"Hell no! She cost me dearly when she fell out of the saddle that day," Jen shouted.

"That was kinda funny, though," Kymira snickered before Jen's look of death sent the Ho back to polishin her knife.

"Funny? Do you know how funny it is to end up in the water trough and have your leather pants and accessories shrink up on ya?" Jen stammered in exasperation.

"Yeah, you could barely breathe," Judy remembered. "Had to roll her up to Darry's and get her to cut Jen out of her leathers."

"And do you realize how bad that was for my business? Who wants to buy leather goods and toys from a Ho who's blue and dying from lack of oxygen?" The leather clothin and 'toy' store owner groused.

"Well, it did help in the sales of leather chaps, once we saw how snug they would fit the guys when we got them wet," Kymira gleamed as Jen was about to protest but decided it wasn't worth the effort.

"If it's not Dor's, Dande's, Tara's or Jen's turn, then it has to be..." Emmy began but was suddenly interrupted by Laure who suddenly cleared her throat.

"Has anyone else noticed that Emmy seems to be suggestin everyone but herself?" Laure interjected as all eyes turned to the Diva who began to nervously tap her foot in time to the rocking of her chair.

"Yeah, Laure has a point," Tara agreed.

"Come to think of it...I don't remember Emmy ever having a turn," Dor exclaimed as Emmy quickly stood up and stomped her booted foot in protest.

"Fine! Be that way. I'll sacrifice myself for the cause," the Diva snapped indignantly.

The black-clad Ho and her Leopard Appaloosa finally stopped in the street before the gathered crowd. "I'm ready for my lesson," Kendra smiled, as there was a collective groan. "Hey, I'm getting better...I can stay in the saddle a good five minutes now," she protested.

"Damnation, who ever heard of a cowgrrl who can't ride?" Ellie sighed as she watched Emmy stomp her way to the street and the blonde Ho and her pet horse.

"How long do you think she'll stay in the saddle this time?" Jen mused aloud as all eyes turned to Judy.

"Alright girls...place your bets!" The bartender shouted as the bettin began and the money started flowing. " Sheriff, you getting in on the action?" Judy asked as Sheriff Jinn, Marshal Kenobi and Jules strolled up to the gathered group of women.

Sheriff Jinn looked at his Wishpuff and nervously debated on getting into the action. "I'll just go inside and wipe the dust from my shoes," Dande loudly stated as she gave her man a doe eyed smile before disappearing into the Golden Spur.

"Give me ten on two minutes!" Jinn shouted once his little Wishpuff stepped through the swingin doors.

"What are zey betting on?" Jules asked as she and Kenobi looked about the busy women.

"Yes, what's all the commotion about?" Miss Jaellabelle quizzed as the Mayor stood by her side.

"On how long Kendra will stay in the saddle before disaster strikes!" Dor gleamed as she and the grrls raced to the dusty street but kept a respectably, safe distance from Emmy, Kendra and the horse.

"Oh?" Marshal Kenobi remarked with a furrowed brow of confusion. "How often does this occur?"

"Bout once a week," Ellie replied before a sudden cheer went up from the crowd.

"Sheriff...looks like you're a winner!" Judy shouted. "Oh...somebody go upstairs and get Schoolmarm/Nurse Darry...looks like Emmy might need some help getting out of that bramble bush."

~~*~~

"She's gonna kill me," Kendra winced as she sat at the bar nursin her beer.

"True, your days are probably numbered," Ellie agreed.

"Yep, numbered," Kymira smirked.

"Why don't ya just give up on this tryin to learn to ride a horse," Jen suggested as Kendra snorted in objection.

"Look, I'm a cowgrrl...I have to learn to ride!" The no-ridin Ho snapped before Jules joined the Ho's at the bar.

"Allo," Jules grinned before looking at the down trodden Ho. "Ze Marshal wishes to sees you," she stated as she nodded her head in the direction of the hotel.

"Oh hells, what have I done now. He's probably going to arrest me for nearly killin Emmy," Kendra groaned as she finished her beer, stood up from the bar, straightened her clothes and walked out of the saloon.

"Reminds me, anybody check on Em to see if she needs anything?" Dor wondered from her perch at the end of the bar. "Oh well, if it's important she'll get our attention some how."

The words had barely left Calamity Dor's mouth when the echo of gunshots rang out. "See, told ya," Dor smirked. "Not bad for a bed ridden, bramble scratched Ho."

~~*~~

"You wanted to see me Marshal," Kendra softly remarked as she knocked on Kenobi's hotel room door and heard his muffled reply for her to come in.

"Oh my," the Ho stammered as her knees threatened to give out.

There in the bed before her was Marshal Kenobi, as nekkid as the day he came screamin into the world. Well, except for his black boots, shiny silver spurs and his black hat placed strategically over his most wondrous asset. The naughty smile, which graced his face only, added to the thrill of the sight.

"Thought you could use some encouragement and a little more practice in the ridin department," Kenobi wickedly gleamed as Kendra shut and locked the door behind her.

"Ah...well...ah...I don't think this is...I think I might like this ridin lesson," the Ho evilly grinned.

And off in the distance...the sound of gunfire echoed through the night. All was right in Hestia...for the moment that is.