Title: WWW, Justice Vs. Shopping
Author: Dor
Rating: MMS for Mostly Mary Sue
Archive: Yes, sending txt file to the Nurse
Timeline: After Kendra's Ridin' Lessons
Author's Notes: This is just a short bit of fun for a Friday. I can't even think of anyone to blame! Hope you don't mind shooting up town today, Em!

Dorotea excitedly entered her room at Maevy's Boarding House. "Look at this," she said excitedly to Xani and Pelham, thrusting posters at them, "they've raised the price on our heads!"

"Ooh," Xani said, admiring the posters. "Nice likeness, although my hair isn't that flat and my mouth is a bit fuller than they've drawn it."
 
"I knew that bank robbery in Wankerville would raise the ante." Dorotea declared, flopping down on the bed while still dressed in her dusty black leather chaps.

Pelham frowned at Dorotea's dirty cowboy boots. "M'lady, don't you think you should remove your clothes before retiring to bed?"

Xani leered at Calamity Dor, then Pelham. "An excellent suggestion, Pelham," Xani purred, leaning in to kiss Pelham.

"Stop!" Dor yelled, jumping off the bed.

"What?" Xani and Pelham asked.

"I don't think they had slash or bisexuality in the Old West."

"Then why did they call it the Wild, Wild West?" Pelham asked.

Dor pondered that for a moment. "Good point, but just don't be obvious about it. No necking in the saloon."

"You and Xanatos can't go into the saloon," Pelham said, brandishing their wanted posters.

"Cool, isn't it," Dor enthused. "I think we need a hideout now. We're like a gang or something."

"Something," Pelham said stiffly.

"Let's go rob something!" Dor said, pulling out one of her six shooters and twirling it.

"You're so sexy when you're breaking the law," Xani said grabbing his wanted woman and kissing her.

"They're going to hang both of you."

Dor pulled her mouth away from Xani's. "Dev wouldn't hang me!"

"They most certainly can arrest you. Do you want to rot in prison?"

"Sheriff Jinn tries to put me in prison, I'll just lay my doe eyes on him."

"What about the new Marshal in town?"

Dor grinned. "He can arrest me if he wants to. He's mighty fine lookin'... He can tie me up and -- OUCH!" Dor exclaimed as Xani bit her neck.

"Don't make me make a honest woman out of you!" Xani warned.

Before Dor could comment on that, there was a knock at the door. Dor moved to answer it, but Pelham stopped her. "Don't you think you should at least have Xanatos hide?"

"Why?" Dor asked.

Pelham waved Xani's poster in front of her face. "I do believe you're supposed to make others eat lead, not eat it yourself."

Dor ignored Pelham's insult. "But that's for Black Xan, not Xani. See how he's wearing a mask in the drawing?"

"I believe everyone knows that they're the same person. I'm not sure why you bother with the mask, Xanatos."

"Dor thinks it's sexy."

"It is sexy," Dor said sliding over to Xani as the knocking continued on the door.

"Hello!" Emmy Oakley called from the hallway. "Get dressed and open the door!"

Pelham opened the door and Emmy sauntered in. "Black Xan," she spit out, spotting Xani.

Xani moved away from Dor, his hands resting on his six-shooters. Emmy put her hands on her six-shooters, ready to draw.

"Think you're fast enough, Princess?" Xani sneered.

"I'm the fastest in the West and I don't miss. And I know exactly what I'm going to aim for. Justice will be mine!"

"Em, I thought you were getting some from the Marshal!" Dor interjected.

"I am! And it is gooooood too! But I still want justice!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Dor said, grabbing a couple of bags of gold from Xani's saddlebag and tossing one at Emmy. "The Leather Shoppe has new black chaps in. Let's shoot up town and go shopping."

Em caught the bag of gold and gave Xani one last glare. "One of these days you're going down Black Xan."

Xani arched a brow. "I'll be happy to go --"

Dor smacked Xan. "Shut up! I just saved your wanger! Go find us a hideout or rob something. I'll be back later. Wanna come shopping, Pelham?"

"I'll meet you in the shop as I do not wish to be hit by any stray bullets."

~*~

"Go, Satan!" Yelled Calamtity Dor to horse, spurring him on.

"Yahooo! Run, Satan, run!" Shouted Emmy Oakley, snapping the reins on her horse.

Soon shots ran out through town as Emmy and Dor stampeded through town.

The towns residents dived for cover from the falling bullets. It was just another day in Hestia.

THE END

Hope you don't mind me naming your horse, Emmy! I thought that Satan sounded like a name we would use to intimidate the princesses! LOL! Next time you can shoot Xani if you want, just no where vital! Although the Nurse probably wouldn't mind fixin' it up.