1. Name: Lucius Malfoy, PB, DE (Ret.)

2. Nickname(s): Looshus

3. My EA(s) is(are) / I am EA to: Delphi. Not the Dean. Not ever. Not even once. Lockhart is a liar and I will AK him when I see him.

4: Birthday: June 6, 1954

5. Job: Personal Assistant to the Dean

6. Pets: eagle owl

7. Height: 6'

8. Hair color and style: white-blond

9. Eye color: cold, icy, supercilious grey

10. Piercings: None

11. Tattoos: Just the one. Which appears to be fading.

12. Style of dress (both casual and to-kill): Casual: black, with boots. To kill: black, with boots, though I'm perfectly happy to kill no matter what I'm wearing.

13. Favorite non-alcoholic drink: Pellegrino

14. Favorite alcoholic drink: Single malt scotch, it's the only thing Muggles can actually do well.

15. Favorite salad dressing: lemon juice

16. Croutons or bacon bits: neither

17. Favorite food(s): tBWL's liver, preferably

18. Favorite pizza: white

19. Favorite dessert: fudge

20. Favorite ice cream: maple walnut

21. Car/mode of transportation: Apparition. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to work much around this place. Will settle for portkey, if the key is something suitably upper-crust, like a diamond flask or silver snake-head brooch for example.

22. Blanket or stuffed animal (including name): My silver-topped cane suffices, thank you. I do not understand why some women here refer to it as "pimp stick."

23. Favorite movie(s): Silence of the Lambs. Mr Lecter was one of ours, you know.

24. Favorite music: Le Chic

25. Favorite TV show(s): Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I keep hoping one of the demons will finally put an end to the annoying blond fluffy one. And I find the red-headed witch singularly intriguing.

26. Favorite flower: Lily of the valley

27. Favorite sport to watch: Quidditch. Yes, I know it's bourgeois, but it's all we wizards have, really.

28. Favorite sport to play: None, I might muss my hair.

29. Favorite Sesame Street character: The Count

30. Have you ever been convicted of a crime? I was framed.

31. What do you do when you are bored? I'm always bored, so there's no difference.

32. The most annoying thing is: tBWL

33. The best thing is: Hooters

34. Favorite phrase: "Mudblood filth"

All Ho's/Wenches must now skip to question 43. 40-42 are for the men.

40. Describe your ideal Ho/Wench scenario(s): Alone. So no one can hear her scream. (Ow!!) Um...licking extra-dark chocolate sauce out of her navel. I guess. I still like the first one better.

41. Dedicate a song to your Ho(s)/Wench(es): Evil Woman (ELO)

42. What song would your Ho(s)/Wench(es) dedicate to you? Abracadabra (Steve Miller Band)

Now, everyone again:

43. Favorite color(s): black. Duh.

44. Favorite book(s): How to Kill Muggles in Ten Easy Lessons.

45. Favorite (non-sexual) hobbies: sneering, condescending, and put-downs

46. Favorite chocolate (milk/bittersweet/dark): Dark

47: Favorite junk food: those chicken wings from Hooters are pretty damn good

48. Green olives or black? black

49. Favorite cheese: Havarti with dill.

50. Scones or bagels? Scones, of course. I may not be a Muggle, but I AM British.

51. Something no one knows about you: I liked those plates of Umbridge's with the pictures of kittens on them.

52. Describe why you have chosen HSU as your home: I didn't. If I could figure out how to get out of here I'd be off like a shot.