Title: It's Not a Wonderful Life
Author: Ellie and Kendra
Rating: WTMHS (Way too many holiday specials)
Summary: After a night of watching a classic holiday fic, things just don't look the same in the morning.
Archive: Yep
Disclaimer: GL owns everything, Ellie and I are poor, very, very poor and own not one cent. And 'It's a Wonderful Life' is not ours either, just borrowed. We also don't own ginsu or 'Singing In the Rain.' Let's face it we borrowed from everybody and everything!
Notes: See what happens when you watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' after eating way too much turkey! Hope you guys enjoy and are happy to find proof that Ellie and I are completely wacko!
Timeline: No place special, just along with the holiday fics.

~~*~~
Ellie squirmed under the weight of a manly arm. She flipped over to face the mutant beside her, then scooted back into the warmth of the Professor who was now behind her. She grimaced, still mostly asleep, then moved her hand under the crisp sheets. She reached around behind herself, smiling as she felt the warm bulging cotton of her lover. Then she remembered reason for her journey and moved her hand to her own warm cotton covered butt and swiftly pulled out an annoyingly uncomfortable wedgy.

The Ho sighed in relief and snuggled back up between her EA's and drifted off to sleep.

But not a moment later she was ripped from her sleep by a loud ringing bell.

Ellie sat up in bed in a shot, "What the frack is that?!" Was it an EA alarm? She checked the panel of lights indicating where all her alarms were strategically placed. It didn't sound like one she had installed and her suspicion was confirmed. No lights were blinking.

The ringing stopped, only to be replaced by the bustling sound of movement outside her bedroom door. She began to kick off the covers, thoroughly expecting sleepy grumbles from her bedmates. But when she looked beside her, both men were mysteriously gone.

"What the hell is going on here?" Ellie said aloud. She slid off the bed and hurriedly pulled on some pants and slid on her slippers. As an afterthought she leaned down and looked under the bed. Logan and Indy weren't there. Interesting.

Only one person could be responsible for this. Dorotea. She must be meddling in the black arts again.

"Kendra," Ellie called out for reinforcements. "Kendra!" She yelled again as she opened the door to their living room.

She didn't expect to see what she saw. Her living room wasn't her living room anymore. It was a classroom!

Rows of acne faced, and too much hair gel wearing kids turned to stare at the strange crazy lady standing in their classroom.

'What the hell?' Ellie mouthed, as she stood dumbfounded. She looked down to the tight white tank top she was wearing, then back out into the adolescent faces. Then she blushed and reached behind her for the door handle and the safety of her bedroom. She fumbled for it, not being able to get a grasp. So she turned to face the door and better find the handle, and the door was gone.

Ellie spun back around and placed her back to the cool wooden wall. She managed a slight smile. She had to get out of here.

"Excuse me miss, but may I ask what you are doing in my classroom?" A tall man questioned her from his place by the blackboard.

"Indy! Oh, I'm so glad you're here. I don't know how you managed to get this all arranged, but I must say this isn't a very funny joke," Ellie rambled as she hurried over to the Professor.

"I'm sorry, miss, but I don't know what you're talking about. I'm afraid I don't know you at all." The tweed wearing Professor said plainly and took a step back.

"What are you talking about?"

"If you don't leave, I'll be forced to call security." The Professor moved toward his desk and Ellie followed him with her eyes, noticing the phone sitting there. She also saw a nameplate. 'Dr. Johnson, Professor of Mathematics'.

"I, I, I'm sorry," Ellie managed to stutter as she backed away. It was Indiana, she was sure of it. Why was he doing this?

She fled from the room in her fuzzy padded feet, not stopping till she was all the way down the hall. She finally stopped and took a look around. It looked like campus, but as she looked into all the windows, it was classrooms inside, all filled with teenagers.

Maybe she shouldn't have had that sixth beer last night. Her mind was playing tricks on her.

~~*~~

"Hey you," a familiar voice from behind yelled to the confused Ho, who stopped dead in her tracks and glanced around to find Logan leaning against the wall. "Yeah you, kid. Seems the beer last night really did a number on ya huh?"

"Thank goodness its you Logan!" Ellie gasped, "And so help me this joke is really pissing me off!"

"Sorry, no joke, and my name's not Logan, its Clarence...but what the hell since I look like that Logan dude you can call me that. And sweetcheeks, this isn't a joke. Last night as you were watching one of those old holiday flicks, you made a remark about how this sort of thing would never happen to you…so here I am. I've been sent here to show you what would happen if HSU didn't exist."

"You are so freakin me out," Ellie stammered, "quit screwing with my mind Logan and lets just go home."
The Ho snapped before turning to walk outside and suddenly found herself running out into the campus in the snow.

"Man these people never listen," Logan grumbled before following the Ho.

~~*~~

Ellie ran and ran, nothing looked familiar, the maze, which she so loved to play in with her Logan, was gone, replaced by blinking construction cones. All the buildings she knew well had been replaced by fast food joints and stores of every assortment…her beloved Admin building was now an office supply store. Then she looked down at herself and gasped when she saw that her PJ's were gone, having been replaced with jeans and a sweater. Surely this couldn't be right, someone was going to pay and pay big time for spiking her last beer.

Suddenly the Ho stopped in her tracks, she could have sworn she heard Sere and Julia, and sure enough she spotted them across the way in the tacky portrait studio of the local Malmart which had once been the Arts building.

"Look you little brat, follow the squeaky duck and quit hopping off the stool!" Julia smiled as the child she was trying to photograph kept throwing the props at her. "Fine, we can do this the easy way…or we can do this the hard way, and right now if you hit me upside the head with that ball one more time I'm going to…"

"I'll take care of this," Sere interrupted when she noticed the child's parent becoming alarmed. So without a second thought the Ho whipped out her trusty staple gun and stapled the child's pants to the stool. "There we go Julia, take the damn pictures and let's get to number 3339."

"Julia, Sere?" Ellie hesitated. "What are you two doing?"

"Look lady, take a number and join the line." Julia stated as she nodded her head to the never-ending line of squalling children and grumpy parents.

"Its me Ellie," the lost Ho stammered.

"Look lady, I don't know what you're trying to pull but quit trying to act like you know us to cut in line." Sere stated as Ellie just gasped before she felt a strong hand pull her away.

"They don't know you, HSU never existed," Logan explained.

"I don't believe you, they're just busy," Ellie objected before they began to stroll outside once more.

~~*~~

Before Ellie could make it to the door of Malmart a familiar sound caught her ear, surely that couldn't be JenJen? But she could swear she heard the familiar sound of Jen's powertools from the Pink Banana catalogue. Hell, nearly everyone in the dorm heard the powertools going and dreaded the new powertool catalogue upon arrival.

"It is Jen," Ellie smiled before racing towards the other Ho who was standing on a makeshift stage in an industrial apron.

"Gentleman, I stand before you today with the most amazing object you'll ever see!" The once party girl exclaimed as the men paid rapt attention to her every move. "This little baby right here is the Expo Two Thousand, it cuts, it drills, it routes, it sands, it nails, it does everything any of you tool boys dare dream of." She gleamed as she held in her hand the latest edition of this wondrous tool and revved it for effect.

"Looks like a drill to me," Ellie muttered loud enough for Jen to overhear her.

"Madame, this is not no ordinary drill, this little number here is amazing…for two hundred dollars you can own this baby…and for an extra one hundred you can buy the drill bits and as an added bonus we'll throw in the chuck key for free!" JenJen shouted as the men cheered and they began to race the stage with money in their hands. "And gentlemen, let's not forget shop safety…"

"Oh my gawd, she's a real powertool girl…as in drill, saw, hammer, router…this can't be true," Ellie whimpered as she slowly trudged to the door and back onto the crowded sidewalk outside.

~~*~~

"Look Logan quit playing this game, and I don't find it amusing that everyone is falling for this mess," Ellie snapped as she strolled into the office supply store and she spotted Shana standing behind the counter at the copy desk. "Shana!" Ellie shouted as she collapsed against the counter.

"What do you want lady, color, black and white, pies, charts, how many copies and quit leaning on my counter…you don't see me leaning on your car do you?" Shana spurted without taking a breath.

"Hey, what's your problem?" Ellie demanded as Logan just watched with a smirk.

"Look you come in here wanting something and its ten minutes before my lunch break. So make up your mind, I haven't all day," Shana ordered.

"Well, you don't have to be so…so…" Ellie stuttered before Logan drug her away from the copy counter.

"Have a nice day, thank you for choosing our copier service, we are here for all your needs…service with a smile!" Shana rambled in the customary customer exit.

"See I told you nobody would know you, when will you listen to me?" Logan sighed as Ellie just glared at him and strolled out of the office supply store. "Great, how many of these little visits will we have to make before you believe?" he huffed as he pulled his jacket collar up to keep out the cold.

~~*~~

"So what you're telling me is that just because HSU doesn't exist, this is what happens to everybody I know?" Ellie asked for the hundredth time as she and Logan trudged along in the snow.

"For the hundredth time, yes," Logan growled.

"Oh look there's Kymira," Ellie remarked offhandedly as they walked by the window of an arts and crafts store. Then suddenly stopped and rushed in to see what her fellow Ho was doing.

"Alright ladies, none of this tacky fake stuff…does everyone have their imported flowers from South America? If not my name brand flowers are available in the back," Kymira sweetly began as she stood at the head of a holiday demonstration. "First ladies I need you to be 'One' with your centerpiece, feel what your flowers will say while adorning your holiday table."

"Ooh…" the crowd of ladies uttered together as Kymira showed them her holiday centerpiece of fresh imported flowers, recycled aluminum cans, crushed acorns and spatulas.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Ellie murmured before racing out the door.

"Hmmm, I thought it was kinda interesting how the chick used those bottle openers for that added flare," Logan remarked before following his charge out into the snow.

~~*~~

"Can we stop and get something to drink?" Ellie groaned as she slowly stood up from her position of hurling into the snow.

"Sure kid, there's a McDondalson's across the way," her guide through this shambles of life agreed before leading her across the street to the drive thru.

"Great, we walk through the drive thru," Ellie mumbled as the speaker suddenly squealed in her ear.

"How…what…our special…ready…what do you want people?" The speaker demanded.

"Coke and fries," Ellie shouted.

"Do you want fries with that?"

"Yes!"

"What size…med, large, jumbo, super jumbo or the tub?"

"Medium," Ellie sighed.

"Please pull up to the fifth window," the speaker ordered before she could hear the mumbling of the order taker.

"Fine," Ellie snapped as she and Logan went to the fifth window to pay and Ellie gasped and stumbled in shock.

"What's your problem lady? You act as if you haven't seen anyone working before. That'll be four dollars," the lady demanded as Logan paid her and she shoved the bag out the window.

"Emmy?" Ellie asked in shock.

"Yeah, what of it? You want ketchup with that? Oh sorry don't have any, or napkins or salt or anything else you might want. Good day...now move, you're holding up my line." Emmy snapped as Ellie began to move but suddenly stopped.

"Hey I ordered a drink with this," Ellie exclaimed.

"Sure you did lady, now move…I only have you down for a small fry." Emmy stated.

"But I ordered a drink and a medium fry," Ellie explained.

"Nope, it says right here on my screen, small fry…have a nice day, now move there are people behind you who really ordered food." The Diva demanded as the lost Ho just stumbled along before a huge pink car came barreling towards the drive thru.

~~*~~

"Well, hey, you bit-" Ellie began to yell at the drive-thru queen, till she turned to come face to grill with the pink caddy. Logan reached an arm out calmly to pull her from harms way but missed when Ellie squared her shoulders and began to stare down the charging car. Ellie watched as the small face of a woman drowning in layers of hairsprayed hair peeked out from behind the steering wheel. Shock spread across her angelic features till finally her nimble little foot found the brake. The big car skidded a few feet finally coming to a rest, the bumper tapping lightly just at Ellie's knee.

"Ow! You crazy woman. What the hell?!" Ellie yelled and reached to her bruised knee, clinging to it a little more than was probably necessary. As she bent over she clanged her head on the hood of the car. "Frickin' ow!" She screamed and grasped her head.

"Oh, dear!" The dainty woman yelled. Ellie watched as she struggled to open her door and squeeze out between it and the drive-thru.

"Hey, you can't leave that here!" Emmy screamed from the window. The other woman just flapped her hand at the employee and waddled over to the cringing Ho on the curb.

"Oh, dear!" She exclaimed again and rubbed her pregnant belly. Ellie took her in a glance. Immaculate pink suit, teased hair, rosy cheeks, and pink car

"Dande!"

"Well, yes, but how did you…? Oh, my nametag," she said and clutched the gold metal on her breast. "I'm so very sorry, I didn't see you there."

Ellie squinted to read the tag. 'Dandelow, Mary Kay Consultant.' Ellie snorted.

"I'm fine, just get a smaller car or something," Ellie snapped and rubbed her sore knee and the lump growing on her forehead.

"Is everything all right here?" A male voice sounded.

Ellie knew who it was before she turned around. Towering over her, clad in a black uniform was Officer Kenobi? 'Huh?'

"Let me help you ma'am." The officer reached down and helped Ellie to her feet. Then his partner spoke.

"We were across the street," Ellie peered around the hulk of a man and read 'Donut Shop' on the billboard. "We saw the commotion. So what happened here?"

"Well, Officer Jinn," Ellie spoke as she looked at his nametag in misbelief, "Miss Dande here was just uh, well she was, erm…hmm…" Ellie just shrugged and tried to look cute.

Dande had her beat. She was making doe eyes at Officer Jinn. Ellie was forgotten.

"Ma'am, you're expecting. Are you alright?" Jinn rushed to her side and she grasped his arm as she put the back of her other hand to her forehead.

"Oh, I don't know, I'm feeling a little tired," Dande said wistfully as the officer led her away to rest.

Seeming to remember the true victim, Officer Kenobi took Ellie's hand. "We should get you to a hospital. Looks like you're gonna have a nasty bump on your head."

"Really I'm fine," Ellie began and looked around. 'Where was that darn Clarence guy anyway? Then she looked into bright green eyes and quivered. "Well, I guess just for a quick check," she added. Besides she had to admit *Officer Kenobi* looked damn good in that black uniform.

~~*~~

She'd been sitting behind this damn exam curtain for a half an hour and she was fed up. Officer Kenobi had long since left, citing his duty to the people or some such crap. She'd seen Dande fawning over Officer Jinn. Well, at least she still got her man in this place. So why was she still pregnant? Ellie's head was spinning with all that had happened that day. Where was that Clarence fellow anyway?

She'd just decided to go when the curtain opened.

"Oh, excuse me, I just need to get something out of the cabinet there." The deep voice bellowed through the little room.

"Haken?"

"No sorry ma'am, name's Harry."

"Haken, your German accent?" Ellie went on.

"Ma'am, I'm *Harry*," he said again with emphasis, "an orderly from Oklahoma."

Oh, gawd, so now he's an Okie. "Oh, right, sorry."

The large man just shook his head, grabbed what he came for and exited the curtain.

Ellie smacked herself in the head. Then winced and scolded herself for not remembering her bruise there.

Outside the curtain, Harry grabbed the doctor and whispered, "Might wanna get a psych consult on that one." The doctor nodded.

"Good afternoon, I'm Doctor Cicereno, call me Cic," the white jacket clad man said. Ellie's jaw fell to the floor. "Let's get a look at you. Nurse?" He called out and Ellie nearly fell off the exam table when a short red haired woman walked in with an air of dominance fluttering around her.

"Doctor?" Ellie's Master said dutifully.

"Could you get me some antiseptic and a clean bandage, please?"

"Well, who would have guessed you two would still end up together?" Ellie said with a grin.

"Excuse me?" Doctor Cic asked curiously. He examined the small scratch and large bump on Ellie's forehead then moved on to let his Nurse in to bandage the wound.

"Still getting some from the Doctor I see?" Ellie whispered as the Nurse stood before her. Darry glared at her from the corner of her eye, but said nothing. Ellie swore she saw a twinkle at the mention of the Doctor's name, though.

"Now, I'll get you a prescription for the throbbing. I'll have the Nurse bring it shortly."

With that the two were gone.

Ellie just smiled. Some things never changed.

She was surprised when the curtain swung back again and she was joined by a cool headed blonde. Wild curls cascaded down her back, an odd contrast to the white doctor's coat.

The woman picked up Ellie's chart and began flipping through it.

"Let's see, you've had a minor head trauma. How are you feeling?" The woman finally looked up and for once Ellie was surprised.

"Laure?" Ellie asked.

"Uh, hmm," she mumbled and scribbled something down in the chart. "Can you tell me what city you're in, what day it is?"

"Uh, well, it's a funny thing cause…" Ellie began, unsure if she should answer Estrogen County, HSU Campus.

"Hmmph," Laure muttered and began scratching something down in the chart.

"There you are!" Came a sudden outburst through the curtain. Another male doctor stepped in and grabbed Laure by the arm. "We've been looking for you. You know you're not supposed to leave the unit." It was the RB. He was a doctor? That didn't fit. So Laure wasn't?

"Excuse me, I'm with a patient," Laure said with an air of disgust.

"Yes, of course you are. I think you've skipped your medication today. Come with me." He started to lead the confused blonde from the room, then turned to address Ellie. "I'm sorry about this, ma'am. She's got a problem with wandering. Always down here though. Seems to think she's a psychiatrist. She's got a work stress related illness, makes her kind of crazy." He made a cuckoo motion with his hand and disappeared.

Ellie just looked at her hands and started counting on her fingers who she'd seen that day and tried to figure how many more were left before this awful nightmare could end.

She'd just about figured it out when she realized she had another guest.

"Dor? What happened to you? You're not wearing black!" Ellie spat out in disgust.

Dorotea just stood before her in a fine tailored mauve suit. Her dark hair was pulled back into a professional style bun. She looked so utilitarian.

"I'm Doctor Dsenjak, your neurosurgeon. Looks like you've got a nasty bump there. I'm here to see if you need a catscan,"

"I'm fine. It's just been a long day."

"Well, we'll see."

Ellie had to admit this was rather amusing. Dorotea in a suit, hose and heels. And the bun was quite amusing. Who knew Dor would be a neurosurgeon?

"Excuse me, Doctor, you're needed in exam three."

Dor frowned at the interruption. "Excuse me, I'll be back in a moment."

Ellie just shrugged. This day couldn't get any weirder.

After another ten minutes of waiting, Ellie decided she'd rather risk brain damage than sit there and wait for more of the circus to show.

She smoothed her now wild curls as best she could without a mirror and headed out. Her doctor and nurse were nowhere to be seen so she headed for the exit.

"Ooh, Doctor, you know I love when you use that instrument." A voice cooed from behind another curtain. Ellie peeked inside and saw Doctor Cic giving his Nurse quite a thorough exam. Ellie snorted.

"Excuse me? Where are you going?" Dor's voice sounded behind her. 'Oh, great,' Ellie thought. She'd never get out of here.

So she took off at a sprint.

"Hey! Stop her!" Doctor Dsenjak yelled, but the Ho was long gone.

~~*~~

"So how was your little brush with the medical profession?" Logan smirked, as he suddenly appeared at Ellie's side as she stopped to catch her breath and found when she looked up she was back to the small town that once was HSU.

"Ha, ha, very funny," Ellie snapped. "I want to go home!"

"Well try clicking your heels three times and see what happens," her guide chuckled. "Oops, my mistake, wrong movie, you're not trying to leave Oz are you?"

Before Ellie could smack the annoying man there was suddenly a loud crunching of metal against metal and the sky opened up and rain began to pour down on all the hapless passersby. Well that's what the Ho thought at first till she noticed the slight car accident on the corner where someone driving a small Volkswagen had plowed into the fire hydrant, spewing water like Old Faithful.

"Hmmm… I would have thought for sure the little bug would have been destroyed," Ellie mumbled before nearly choking when she noticed who was stumbling out of the car. "Tara?"

Within seconds Tara was singing at the top of her lungs 'Singing in the Rain," and doing her best impression of Gene Kelly as she wrapped herself around a flagpole and sang to her heart's content as she could care less about her accident.

"Figures," Ellie smirked. "You'd think she did that on purpose."

"Seems she did, Tara has a long and illustrious history of plowing her car into anything which produces water. She just got released from the rehab clinic for aquaholics but it seems that this fourth try at drying out must have failed like the rest," Logan explained as the police pulled up and Ellie was a little disappointed that Officer Kenobi wasn't one of the cops on the scene.

~~*~~

Suddenly from the corner of the lost Ho's eye she caught a glimpse of what looked to be a batting cage…a huge batting cage in the far corner, neatly cleared of snow and the flashing neon above shown brightly against the wet street. "Judy's place…how odd," Ellie thought before continuing to walk.

"Oh no…say it ain't so," the Ho begged her guide.

"Yeah, Judy is into bats instead of bars now…and I must say she keeps the most polished and professional bats in town," Logan added with a smile of satisfaction.

"But…but…bats?"

"Sure, why not? Winter's not a great time of the year for a batting cage but come summer that joint in jumpin! Besides last I heard she was going to come out with her own line of bats, she's still working on the name…seems 'the widow maker' just wasn't a big crowd getter so she's starting from scratch again."

As Ellie looked to the small shed that stood beside the batting cage she could see Judy standing at the lathe, appearing to be hard at work on her latest production. "Well atleast she isn't whittling one," the Ho sighed in relief.

"Oh that was earlier…she found it too time consuming," Logan explained as he pushed the shocked Ho ahead of him.

~~*~~

"This is just too crazy," Ellie whimpered, "I hate it here, I hate what we've all become without HSU, do you realize that there isn't even a mall anywhere near here…just…just these horrid strip shopping centers. And lets not bring up the fact that this is soooo not right," the despondent Ho continued as she quickly walked the nightmare streets.

"So you see what a difference HSU makes to your life…to all the lives which surround you?" Logan asked as Ellie suddenly stopped in her tracks at the sight of Jael standing on the sidewalk, behind a cart.

"Oh no…she's not a street urchin, is she?" Ellie cried.

"Hell no, she's just trying to pawn off those ginsu knives that nobody claims to own but everybody has hidden away. She even has a stash of the Pocket Fishermen under the cart." Logan explained as Ellie winced when she heard Jael shouting her banter to the passing crowd and watched as she cut easily through an aluminum can with the knife and then sliced a tomato.

"This is horrible…look at what happens to us without HSU, without the General…oh my we don't even have General appointments do we? No boinking… that's definitely not right, no wonder were not normal like in real life," the Ho thought aloud as Logan laughed.

"Normal, yeah right," he smirked.

"Logan, I've got one question, I've seen what happens to everybody but one," Ellie hesitated.

"Yeah, Iknow," he sighed. "You want to know what happened to Kendra, your roommate. Well it's not a pretty picture, are you sure?"

"Just give it to me straight, I can take it."

"Alright, you asked for it! It seems Kendra was an up and coming secretary to some big wig in the military, her career was reaching for the sky…that is until one day she mixed her gummy fish with her M&Ms and all hell broke loose. She stormed the old man's office and shagged him silly right there on the desk. Needless to say when she came down off her sugar high she was distraught by her actions…I mean the man was old and bald. She quit her job, sold all her belongings and moved to London somewhere…last I heard she lives on the sidewalk outside some Scottish actor's condo. She tries to douse him with water whenever possible…I do suppose she's out of jail now...but then again with the restraining order out against her its hard to tell."

"Oh my…all this cause she mixed her candies?" Ellie asked in shock.

"Fraid so," Logan explained as the sudden sound of a siren began to blare in their ears.

~~*~~

"What the hell?" Ellie shouted as she sat up in bed and looked to her wall and found the EA alarm blaring first thing in the morning. "Laure? Dor? Ky? Jen?" The ho exclaimed as she crawled out of bed and over Indy then suddenly froze…Indy, Logan…my bed…my beloved EA alarm. "Yes! I'm back!" She shouted as she threw on some sweats and ran to Kendra's room but found it empty and the bed not slept in so she raced into the halls shouting with glee and hugging everyone insight.

"What the hell was that for?" Kymira asked Jen after Ellie hugged them both and was jumping for joy while pointing out all the little things in the hallway including the fire extinguisher as the happy Ho even kissed that.

"Don't know, but whatever it is, its too damn early in the morning to be that happy," Jen groaned.

Ellie ran outside into the snow, shouting at the top of her lungs and laughing as she saw the familiar campus of HSU back, no more dingy little town…and there just in the distance was the maze and Dande's cottage. Things were right, she thought as she continued to hug every passing person as she made her way to the Admin building.

"Stop! Don't do that!" Ellie shouted as she stepped into the General's office and found Kendra opening up a bag of gummy fish while she sat on the General's lap.

"Huh? Don't what?" Kendra asked in confusion as the General raised his brow in that cute little befuddled way of his.

"Ellie are you well?" The General questioned as he munched on M&Ms. "Kendra and I were just sitting down for our morning meeting," he explained with a worried glance.

"Yes! I'm perfect, your perfect, Ken's perfect…well almost and HSU is perfect! But no Ken, you can't mix your candies, believe me no gummy fish and M&Ms together…you won't like what you become," Ellie exclaimed as she snatched the bowl of M&Ms from the General's desk. Knowing full well she'd never snatch the bag of gummy fish from her roomie's hands without force. The real Force she thought before she scurried out of his office. "Well granted its our General, but still, trust me on this, better to be safe than sorry," Ellie added as she walked.

"Oh…and don't ever call me ma'am…ok? I am no ma'am and I've heard it way too much lately," Ellie shouted back before disappearing into the hall.

"Any idea what just happened?" The General asked his secretary as she offered him some gummy fish.

"Nope, you?"

"Not a clue," he sighed before popping a Christmas gummy in his mouth. "Now where were we?" He gleamed as he nuzzled the Ho's neck making her giggle.

"Right there is good," she sighed as laughter filled the air.

~~*~~

"So what are you doing?" Logan asked Ellie as she stood with a lighter in one hand and a videotape in the other.

"I'm going to burn this tape," the Ho explained later that morning as she set fire to the tape and dropped it into a metal garbage can. "I will never, ever, watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' again…its too scary," Ellie shivered as she watched the flames get higher, before setting off the super sensitive smoke alarms.
"Damn, can't even burn anything anymore without setting off an alarm, that reminds me…I wonder who set off the EA alarm this morning?"