Title: Festival of Lights
Author: NurseDarry
Rating: MSHF Mary Sue Holiday Fic
Timeline: Anywhere in holiday stuff
Thanks: to Shana, from whose "Eternum Vale" I'm borrowing
Note: For those of you who have seen the "The 5th Element", Darry's and Corbin Dallas' mothers could be twins.

~Cooked in Oil, Covered in Chocolate~

"Oh look, my mother sent us a whole picnic." Darry, lying in her new four-poster bed with her EA, unpacked latkes, sour cream, applesauce, chocolate gelt, gifts, and the obligatory ranting holiday letter from the enormous FedEx-delivered box.

Cicero picked up the paper and attempted to discern Mrs. Willis' handwriting. Darry gently took it from him.

"Here, let me give you the expurgated version." She didn't even look down at the letter. "'Why aren't you married? Why aren't you a doctor like your father? Are you sure that university you work for is private? Did you hear about Hannah Green's hysterectomy? Your niece is getting so big- when were you last in Houston to visit her? Your father got me a lovely fur this holiday. One of my clients has a son you might like, yaddah, yaddah, yaddah...'"

Cic took a bite from the proffered latke Darry held out to him. "She cooks them in olive oil. You're supposed to eat lots of stuff cooked in oil during Chanukah."

"They're good. Does your mother know about me?"

"What?" Darry said with a mouthful of potato pancake. She swallowed and continued. "And how exactly would I go about describing you to my mother?" She held up her hand in a mock telephone conversation as Cic kept eating. "'Hi mum- let me tell you about my new love. No, he's not Jewish. No he's not anyone you know. Um, he's a two- thousand-year-old servant. Mum, are you ok? Yes, you heard me right- I said servant.'" Darry dropped her hand. "I promise, Cic, it would all be downhill from there." She stuffed another latke into her mouth. "And heaven forbid my mother actually meet you. She'd start cooking for you before she even said hello. `Oy, my dear, you're so skinny. You can't make much money or you'd look healthier.'"

"Does she really talk like that?"

"Absolutely. Then she would complain to her friends about how much cooking she had to do while we were visiting."

Cicero smiled.

"What's so funny; I'm serious." Darry said. She reached out a hand and wiped sour cream from her servant's chin.

"I'm just imagining trying to describe you to my mother." Cicero said.

"Hey, what's not to like?" Darry said facetiously.

"My mother would ask why you wore so little clothing all the time."

Darry looked down at herself in her silk robe, now with applesauce stains. "Hey, this is Dior, for Christ's sake!"

"No, I mean even when you ARE dressed."

Darry smirked. "Do you have brothers and sisters?"

"I have one of each; both younger than me. I miss them sometimes. I wonder what became of them. My sister was living in the royal court when last I heard from her. What about you?"

"I have an older brother. He's a...a..." Darry decided to forgo the truth, as she would be spending the rest of the night explaining the history of NASA to her EA, rather then the activities she had planned. "...actor."

"Ah. What are these?" Cicero held up a small string bag of chocolate coins.

"It's called gelt, and they're made of chocolate. How about we crack open that case of Hershey's syrup and work on some of the more expressive words in my mum's letter?"

"Perfect."

~With My EA I Will Play~

The grumbling from next door finally stopped.

"I guess Laure wasn't too impressed with this morning's test drive of my new dresser, huh?"

"I had a good time," Cic said as he inspected the large silver dreidel Mrs. Willis had included in the care package.

"I'll be done in a moment, then we can start with that." Darry was wrapping up two big bags of colourful balloons in festive Christmas wrap.

"Who are you giving those to?" Cic said, holding the wrapping down as instructed while Darry stuck tape on it.

"Kendra and Tara," Darry said, affixing the gift tag. "Someday I'll show you what you do with them."

"I saw Quintus and his lady breathing something from one once and then talking strangely. Is that what they're purpose?"

"Well, that's one use for them..." Darry waffled.

~*~

"They're four letters of the Hebrew alphabet," Darry explained to Cic about the patterns on the sides of the dreidel. "In Hebrew, the words `a great miracle happened there' begin with them. You spin the dreidel and whatever letter is turned up determines the winner. And the winner gets the chocolate gelt. It's sort of a lame poker game, really," Darry sighed.

"The chocolate part doesn't sound too bad. Is that all?" Cicero gave the ornate dreidel a quick spin.

"Well..."

~*~

"Double hot spiced apple cider, please, Judy," Laure begged as she pulled up a barstool and swung a fringe-trousered leg over it."

"Wanna talk about it?" Judy asked, carefully forgetting to pour any booze into Laure's mug.

"Commo's been on my phone all morning, trying to negotiate something with little success; he refuses to discuss it. I swear. That man's incessant scheming is hurting my head."

"I'm sorry," Judy said with just the right amount of sympathy.

"And the Nurse seems to be having a boinkfest for Chanukah."

"And that would be different from the other 51 weeks of the year how...?" Judy asked.

"I'm sure her rabbi would never approve of her latest sacrilege." Laure blew the steam from her mug, too irritated to notice the lack of alcoholic fumes.

"What's that?" Judy began wiping down the bar. "Well, you know I'm sure I remember the winner of the dreidel game getting candy or something."

Judy nodded. "With you so far."

"But I don't recall the rule where the loser has to remove an article of clothing."

~The Maccabees and Their Cell Phones~

"Pelham is no longer playing that organ thing," Cicero observed.

"You know what that means," Darry smirked. She carefully lit the center candle of the menorah and then said a soft prayer as she lit the remaining four.

"Do you think we should start the camera in the Clinic?" Cic asked, remembering what Darry had said about sequels.

"No, let them enjoy this without an audience for once," Darry said, thinking Xani would probably prefer the attention.

"So the miracle of Chanukah was that these people had only enough oil in the temple lamp to last for one day and yet it burned for eight?"

"Correct," Darry said. She set the menorah in the window, where it mirrored the large one the General had set up in the yard. She looked at them both pensively for a long moment, thinking of the miracles afforded her at HSU.

"Darry, are you wearing those because of what I said about my mother?" Cicero's comment broke Darry from her reverie. She looked down at the tartan flannel pyjamas the Divah had given her for the holiday.

"Uh...;no," she laughed. "I'm wearing them because they were a present."

"Can I give you your present now?" Cicero asked, taking Darry's hand and leading her upstairs.

"Okay, but I had one for you too. The basketball, remember?"

"I remember. Laure said she would teach me the rules. I'm looking forward to showing the Legion how to play."

They reached the bedroom. Along the far wall stood a beautifully carved wooden wardrobe.

"Oh Cic, it's beautiful."

"Thank you. I hope all your clothes fit into it. It's a little smaller than the one you had built into the wall. Why was there a rope hanging from the rail ion it, by the way?"

"Oh never mind about that. This new one is just grand." Darry reached out to kiss him.

Her new cell phone rang. She pulled it from her pyjama pocket and looked at the display. The phone had been a present from her Padawan and had all sorts of bells and whistles; including caller ID.

"Cal," she announced, tossing the phone away as she pulled her EA into the wardrobe after her.

Happy Holidays, Grrls! The End.