Title: HSU:Just another Day
Author: Kendra
Rating: SWN (So what's new)
Summary: Just the normal everyday life at HSU, how bad could it get?
Archive: alrighty
Disclaimer: Don't own squat!
Note: Mistakes are mine, so sorry! And I know I borrowed from banter once again, thanks!
Timeline:After Laure's Blonde Bombshell

~~*~~
"Listen here, you little butt crack to the world and don't know jack, I want that Jacuzzi fixed and I want it fixed like yesterday!" Kendra ordered as she called the Jacuzzi repair shop for the fifth time that day. "I'm warning you, don't make me come down there! Someone better be here within the next hour!" She threatened before slamming the phone down and suddenly rifling through her desk and mumbling.

"Kendra dear, is there a problem?" The General questioned as he walked into the office after an afternoon stroll with JenJen.

"Huh?" His secretary asked as she glanced up from her frantic search. "Problem? Well yeah, I thought I had another bag of gummy fish in here somewhere...I usually keep an emergency stash...you know, just in case."

"I believe you finished those off the other day," the General sighed before grabbing her arm and leading her into his office. "Sit, relax, I think I have the cure," he purred as he kissed his secretary soundly before she stumbled back to the chair before his desk as he went to his chair. Seconds later he pulled an unopened bag of gummy fish from his desk and handed it to the squealing with delight Ho. "See...I thought these might come in handy," he smiled.

~~*~~

Two Hours later:

"You see I just don't understand it, Judith was one of my most ardent grrls...now every time I go near her she giggles and blushes. Do you realize its been ages since we've...taken inventory," the General confided before popping another gummy fish in his mouth. As he leaned back in his chair, feet on the desk while his secretary sat on his lap while they shared the nearly empty bag of candy.

"I feel your pain...Judy just hasn't been right for days...she scares me even. Did you know she intends to give me lessons on how to make cappuccino tonight?" Kendra groaned.

"Sith, doesn't she know you can't make any form of coffee?" The General asked in shock.

"I kid you not! Judy says I can learn, as easy as pie, but I don't believe her. I can't bake either," the Ho replied. "You know I was thinking...what if you make some recordings...reading the phone book, racing forms, maybe even some poetry. And I can sneak these tapes into Judy's room as she sleeps...think that might help snap her out of this...phase?"

"You mean subliminal messages? While she sleeps?" The Jedi asked in shock. "Well the Look didn't do anything, nor the Stance...I'm willing to give it a try! I'll start recording right away," he sighed as he grabbed another fruit candy.

"Good, cause I miss Judy and frankly I need a margarita, my regular fix of gummy fish and a working Jacuzzi...this has been a very trying time for me," Kendra explained as the General just nodded his head in understanding.

~~*~~

"In theory this rain room should be simple enough," Tara explained to Ellie and Kymira that same evening. "But I'm hitting major snags in providing enough water to keep things wet but not too wet. Know what I mean?"

"Ah...no!" Kymira squirmed as she looked at Ellie for help as they sat in Judy's new overly cheery coffee bar with their shades on to dull the light.

"Yes, yes we do," Ellie suddenly exclaimed as she nudged Kymira to get her to agree with a nod. "Hey Tara, maybe this is a conversation you should be having with Ken, she knows water better than anyone here." The EA director suggested as she tried to sip the cup of cappuccino Kendra had just made and nearly gagged. "Damn, cause she don't know coffee!"

"Good idea," Tara gleamed totally oblivious to the other Ho's distress.

"And Judy really thinks she's going to teach Ken the fine art of coffee? Yeah right, when I finally nail her ass with the crossbow!" Kymira snorted. "You wouldn't believe how close I got today...missed Kendra by only two feet! These lessons with Quintas are really paying off," she grinned evilly as Ellie rolled her eyes.

~~*~~

"Commo, what do you mean you acquired your own country of artists?" Laure asked in alarm as she watched her beloved EA stride into her office with a smile.

"Exactly as it says in this announcement which you dropped mistakenly into the rubbish bin," the RB explained as he handed his love the glossy envelope with the exciting news of his purchase over the talking device with the use of the mediators credit card.

"Oh hells Commo, you didn't buy a country full of artist, you bought yourself 12 CD's of country artists!" The mediator snapped before grabbing her emergency liquor stash from the bottom desk drawer and filled her coffee cup.

"So I am not ruler of my own country? And what are CD's, a form of monetary means, correct?" The RB questioned as Laure just beat her head against the back of her chair. ~~*~~

"A little more sway of the hips, that's it, that's it...little more! And don't forget the arm daintily draped across the forehead...more curve to the hand...more...Perfect!" Dande smiled brightly as she watched Judy practice her basic Thud moves.

"It wasn't too...well...too not lady like was it?" Judy asked with concern.

"No, dear...I think you're ready for your first actually practice Thud. Thud pillow in place? Good, good...now remember everything I've taught you! Don't be frightened, I know this is new to you...just remember. Thud with pride!" The Master level Wench instructed with glee.

"Pride! I can do this!" Judy agreed before taking a deep breath and going for her first Thud much to the delight of Dande, and to the horror of her Padawan and the other café patrons.

~~*~~

"There is nothing wrong with my puppy!" Emmy shouted into the phone. "I think you're the one with the problem, you two bit, flea ridden dog trainer! How dare you say Lasher has a shoe fetish and problems playing nice with the other mongrels! Fine! You do that! I'll just find another reputable dog obedience school...obviously yours is inferior!" And with that the Diva slammed the phone down as she glance to see Lasher gnawing happily on what looked to be the remnants of a highly polished black boot.

"Those big mean people don't understand you, do they baby?" Emmy cooed as Lasher just chewed but looked up and wagged his tail happily. That is until a fluffy black kitten scurried by the door and the chase was on.

"So help me your mutt better not touch my little Wishpuff...Fido...Hey Cat...hell my kitten!" Dor threatened as she raced past Emmy's office on the way to rescue her new kitten from the clutches of the rambunctious puppy.

"My dog...maybe you better learn to control your little house of fleas rat! I don't want it giving my baby fleas or rabies!" Emmy shouted as she raced out the door in hot pursuit. ~~*~~

As Judy and Dande practiced Thudding, Emmy and Dorotea raced into the café in hot pursuit of Lasher and the no named kitten who made quick work of over turning chairs and tables which were in the animal's path.

Ellie, Ky and Jen sat at a corner table listening to Kymira discuss the art of hunting prey with the crossbow and how deadly accurate she was fast becoming.

Laure was just walking into the café to see if she could wipe the cobwebs away from another harsh day of drinking...ah mediating.

The General limped into the ex-bar seconds later wearing one boot and carrying a mutilated boot in his left hand, seeking a word with Emmy about her puppy's bad habits.

Kendra and Tara leaned against the coffee bar, looking over the plans for the rain room and then coming up with the bright idea that a sauna would be nice...sweaty, glistening, wet, General.

Nobody noticing the cappuccino maker making odd rumbling noises before it began to rock violently on the back counter. It wasn't until a shrill noise caught Kendra and Tara's attention and they looked up to see the possessed machine shaking and bouncing.

"Damn! What did I do?" Kendra exclaimed. " Everybody down...its going to blow!" The Ho shouted before diving over the bar for safety on the other side where Tara had hit the floor as the entire café looked up in shock before scurrying for safety as the once gleaming cappuccino machine exploded.