Yes, I know that the Hellmouth is a wacky thing. It draws the vampires and the demons to it. It causes the apocalypse if opened. Yes, this is all common knowledge. Me, Dru, Angelus, and every other vampire in the world knows this. I've seen some very strange things in my time. I've caused some of them, seen other vampires cause them, seen what happens when you mess with it, the Hellmouth.

But, I think I'm the first vampire to get turned into a dog.

Yes, a dog. I was turned into a dog. Don't laugh, because it's not bloody amusing. I'm a fricking dog. A dog! Of all the creatures I could have turned into, it had to be a dog. And a small dog at that. I don't know what breed, because I still don't reflect in a mirror, but I'm a short dog, and everyone thinks I'm cute. Everyone I passed as a dog, that is. Though people find the human-shaped me very attractive too.

The Slayer and her friends found me when they were out patrolling. First Red kneeled down and petted my head. It felt good. I understand now why dogs insist on being petted. But something happened.

See, I had figured out that I'd retained all of my vampire characteristics (I hadn't even tried to go into "game" face) when I was shrunk to dog size, and when she petted me, I gave a normal vampiric sound of contentment. Because it felt good.

The only problem with that is that I purred.

Then she straightened up and the feeling went away, and I stopped purring. They all looked at me strangely (no kidding) and I looked up at them. And up. They're all really tall when you're a short dog.

"Strange." Xander commented, looking down at me.

"Yeah." Buffy agreed. "Hellmouth thing maybe. It's kinda nearby." What else did she think it was, they crossed a cat with a dog? Of course it had to be Hellmouth.

I yipped. I actually yipped. It was very disturbing. I stopped and stared up at them dumbfoundedly.

"What is it boy, did Timmy fall in the Hellmouth?" Xander mocked me. I was ready to bite his ankle. And I tried. But right before I sank my little doggy canines in the exposed flesh above his shoe, the implant kicked in.

I wasn't expecting the implant to work, because I was a dog. Not a vampire. But, it came along for the ride. Great.

I yelped when the pain went through my head and shook my head, trying to rid the pain from it.

"Since when do dogs get hurt when they try to bite people?" Buffy asked slowly, looking carefully at me. "And why does this dog look like it was bleached blond?"

My heart jumped. Maybe they'd recognize me, take me home, and fix me. And if that wasn't a dog thought, I don't know what is. Expect maybe the fix me part.

See, I didn't know how I turned into a dog. All I knew was that it happened, and I was small and closer to the ground then before. And assumed Hellmouth problems.

"Spike?" She asked. I wagged my tail. I didn't know I knew how to wag a tail. But, obviously I did, because it wagged.

"That doesn't prove anything!" Xander protested. "Lots of people name their dogs Spike."

I growled. At this I could do that right. I growled and stepped right up to him, looking in his eyes, intending to stare him down.

It worked. Yay, so now I know I'm intimidating as a dog. Great, bloody priceless. I would've laughed if I could.

"It could be Spike." Red pointed out. "Not every dog can stare Xander down from the ground."

"Okay, if this is Spike, how did he get to be a dog?" Buffy asked, looking from each of her friends, then down to me. She bent and stuck her face close to mine.

"Is our little Spikey a little doggey?" She taunted. Only her Slayer reflexes saved her nose from being detached from her face.

"I'm thinking it's Spike." Xander raised his hand.

Willow looked down at me. "If you're Spike, the vampire, go to Giles's." I started in that direction.

See, half-hour as a dog, and I'm starting to act like one, taking orders from humans. I stopped and look back at them, forced myself to bark once, (Which is a really weird feeling) and continued on the path to Giles.

They shrugged and followed.

And that's when I left my doggy form, and became Spike the vampire in a man's body again. What else would I be? Chalk it up to the Hellmouth.

"Spike was a dog!" I heard the Slayer exclaim from behind me. I turned and saw her and her two friends clutching at each other, laughing their hearts out.

In fact, I hope they do come out. It'll be a sight to see.

They just pointed at me and laughed some more when I crossed my arms and looked at them.

I growled, switched to vamp face, hoping to scare them, and left them there, laughing, since I couldn't do any damage to them.

More pissed then I've been in a while, I stormed around Sunnydale, scaring the people walked the night streets to run for their houses.

I wouldn't know until later that my sire and his little employees were bored that night, and had found a spell to turn me into a dog.

And that they had a something that showed them everything that happened, and they were laughing at me too.

*Fin*