Top 20 ways to answer a sells men when he ask Can I speak to (insert name)
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1. "I would let you talk to him, but the last time he was interupted he got mad. (to person) HEY! PUT THAT GUN DOWN!" 

2. "Why do you want to talk to HIM?!? AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH!?" (cry) 

3. Before they can finish the question yell "NO!" and hang up. 

4. say while giggling "NO, he is a little.....tied up right now...." Then madly laugh while hanging up 

5. "You COULD speak to him, but then you would subject to the court order......no I am not insane...." 

6. If you are female and they are asking for a male, say you are him and answer any questions 

7. Accept the call. While the sells man is talking, make barnyard animal noises. Periodically tell "Fifi" to "keep it down" 

8. Invite the sells person to your meeting of the "Loyal order of Christian Atheist for Budah: European sect" 

9. If the sells man is doing a servey, answer all the questions in pig latin 

10. accept the call. Answer all his questions truthfully with the added whisper of "they are coming" after about a minute say "There they are!", make static and hang up. enjoy a beer afterwards 

11. Say you are the person, and then after a while say "oh, I have just one thing to say..." then take the phone from your ear, and use your air horn. 

12. Simply reply with "well, if he wasn't busy burying the last salesman in the backyard, I'm sure he'd love to talk to you" 

13. Interrupt the salesman asking if you can speak to (make up a name) when he replies that person's not there simply say "Oh ok, this is just a courtesy call, thank you have a good day" and hang up 

14. Get defensive and yell "WHO'S ASKING!?" then slam the phone down. 

15. Say in a nervous shakey voice "Uh...I...wouldn't know where that guy is...you probably have the wrong number..." then whisper "yes...that's it...hehe..." and hang up. 

16. Wait patiently for the man to finish all of his sentence then simply say "Go to hell" and hang up. 

17. Ask which division of the F.B.I. is calling then after the salesman naturally replies that he's not with the F.B.I. say "oh...yes...that's good...." and hang up 

18. Ask him if he'd be interested in buying anything for a school fund raiser. 

19. Find out if the salesman knows anyone interested in buying a used car, and how much they'd be willing to pay. 

20. Convince the salesman you went to highschool together, and talk about old times before finally yelling "HEY! YOU'RE NOT BOB! YOU BASTARD!" and hang up on them.