by Steve Fiendish
Tonight something mighty odd occured. Mixed in amoungest the small whole chickens which were cooked to perfection in an old style rotisserre oven was a severed chicken head. In his five years of working he had never seen one before.
He picked it up and examined it closer. It was missing an eye and was a strange shade of green. Damn, it stank something fierce too. By God as he scrutinized it more the damn thing had a smile on it's beak. A somewhat wicked and evil smile too, Bubba thought.
Bubba tossed the sick looking tidbit into the trash and went on about his work. After all old man Joe was paying him to do a job and he was going to do it as he always did. Nobody ever complained when Bubba cooked. Despite his less than brilliant IQ. Bubba knew food and it showed. It showed in his cooking and his steadily increasing fat belly.
Now that stupid mongroid retard little fuck face Greg, he was another story. That greasy haired piece of monkey shit could screw up even the simple basic orders. Why Joe even hired that retard was anyones guess. Once he under cooked some burgers and three customers fell deathly ill and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Joe should have 86'd his ass right then and there, but for some reason he didn't. The old man must have felt sorry for him is all Bubba could surmise. Hell if that'd been him he would have been out of a job quicker than a pig would roll in a pile of shit.
Just as Bubba was about to start frying some fries he once more spotted the mysterious chicken head. This time it was in a box of frozen fries. What the fuck was going on? He quickly tossed the disgusting head into the trash. Two chicken heads in one night? Very strange. Down right weird, he thought, he went on with his duties.
Ten minutes later it resurfaced again. Now in a box of hamburger patties. Bubba looked in the trash for the other two, but they weren't there. Bubba threw the chicken head into the garbage disposal and ground it up. There, that's that. No more goddamn chicken heads. He couldn't get rid of the image of that head smiling at him. Ha! Ha! Throw me away, but I'll be back. Five minutes later it was.
Bubba tried everything. He chopped it up with a meat clever.He nuked it in the microwave until it exploded. He even poured lighter fluid on it and set it a blaze, but the fucking thing kept returning. At last totally frustrated Bubba ate it. He ate it all. Time passed and it never came back. He thought he finally won, but he was wrong.
He finished his shift, clocked out, climbed into his old chevy pick up and headed for home. It had been a hell of a day. A crazy day he'd just as soon forget. However fate had other plans for Bubba.
The pain hit like a sudden violent storm. An intense burning sharp pain in his gut like hot coals were flaming inside him. Bubba stomped on the accellerator hard and sped for home like a spotted ass ape. He prayed no cops would stop him. he needed to get to a hopper ASAP!
He spun into the trailor park he called home and dashed inside. He barely had time to pull down his drawers and plop down on the throne. It came out like a damn landslide. Bubba rode the brown banana express all the way to relief. Wow, he sure felt better now. bubba stood, wiped, and admired his work, it was long, huge, and snakelike. Thick as an anaconda and black as a woodchucks asshole. Bubba chuckled and flushed.
He sat his tired carcass in front of the TV and began to channel surf. As usual nothing was on. Typical, he thought. Oh well, fuck it, at least no more chicken heads were turning up. Then he heard it. Clucking. The clucking of chickens. Lots of chickens. Bubba turned around quickly and what he saw horrified him to the core. The chicken head had retruned, but not alone. Ten chicken heads upright on the kitchen counter clucking away.
Bubba screamed like a crazed yo banshee and raced for the nearest sanctuary, the bathroom. Big mistake. There it was, dripping out of the shitter, glowing a slick shade of green just like the chicken head. It slithered towards Bubba like a serpent. Bubba just gazed mortified with primal fear like a deer in the light.
The large green glowing turd slithered across the bathroom tile and up Bubba's leg. Bubba screamed out a cry of terror. the turd lunged up his chest and into Bubba's mouth. Bubba's head exploded into a gusher of blood, brains, and green feces. His large frame crashed to the floor with a sickening thud. And all the while, the chicken heads clucked. Clucked and smiled it's evil and wicked grin.
