By Jay
With a gasp I sat up drenched in a cold sweat. I peered at the empty space beside me with a sad frown, placing a hand on the unperturbed side of the bed, a lonely breath leaving my lips. Sliding out of bed, I pulled the pajama top around my naked torso. I silently padded over to the window and sat on the chaise, pulling the black book with the silver engraved heart out from under the cushion with the pen attached. I leave it on my lap as I peer out the window silently.
The sun had just slipped out over the horizon, the hues of pinks, purples and oranges emitted over the ground with a warm glow, but the warmth never reached me where I sat. The wintriness settled over the room in a hushed silence, much like that of a suicide, one to close to my haunted, frozen heart. Why had the stars not fallen from the sky or the trees erupt into flames so beautiful it brings tears to those fortunate to witness it?
It was within a somnambulant form that I had perambulated onto the scene, you in all your macabre beauty lay like porcelain within the crimson sea surrounded by the shattered shards of the moon itself. Within that moment of time, in the seclusion, I became bitter, caustic. Within that moment I retreated into the deepest corner of my mind and huddled in the ivory room, a shadow of myself. Your given name smeared in blood on the walls, slowly streaking the white wall with the liquid elixir that brings life. The reverberation of my caterwauling causing it to smear and shatter, the shards circling my quivering soul, the whisper of my beloved’s name on my lips.
As the lights flashed, the voices louder beyond my decimal range, the world eclipsed into darkness and silence, alone, I wept.
With the ravens cry and the putrid smell of antiseptic, I came into the world of light. In hate, and agony, the world sung an obnoxious tune of false cheerfulness to mask the rancid stench of death and deceit.
A wave of the hand and I was thrown into depression, your name tumbling repeatedly from my lips. Trapped within a moment, your wonderful scent permeated my senses and within synesthesia I feel as if you held me, your warmth nothing but a fading memory.
Within the ivory room I recapitulate, the crimson river flowing down the walls, encircling me as the flesh on my chest splits open, and within pain, the darkness obscures my vision until all form of brain activity ceases.
---
The gentle creak of my door causes me to look up from where I had written in silver on the black pages. You pop your head into the room and smile.
“You’re awake? I tried to leave quietly. I hope I didn’t wake you.” His soft voice wafted across the room and into the shell of my ear, my brain relishing the voice.
With a shiver I shake my head negatively before shutting the book and slipping it under the cushion. As I do this you fully enter the room, clad only in your polka dot flannel pajama pants, hugging yourself; the bandages on your wrists stark against your pale, freckled flesh.
I frown heavily as I note fresh specks of blood.
“Frown any more and you’ll get more wrinkles.” You joke, lifting a fragile hand to your face to brush your black fringe to the side.
Standing, I make my way over and gently grasp your arm. “We need to clean and re-bandage your wounds, sweetheart.” I say, running a powder green fingernail over the small blood spots.
Hissing at the contact, you flinch your arm out of my grip. I look up sadly into your pain-filled green speckled eyes.
“I’m sorry.” I whisper, biting my lower-lip in affliction.
A finger beneath my chin caused me to look back up at your large, soulful eyes, and you smile softly, your eyes sparkling and dancing in the gentle morning light.
With a choked sob, I throw my arms around your neck and cry against your naked chest, your strong arms encircling my torso in a loving hug, whispering words of love into my ear, sealing them with a kiss to my simplistic metal gauge, the metallic sound of your lip-ring on the metal gauge causing me to shiver slightly. My wets lashes brush against the tattooed heart on your chest and ghost my lips over the written message above it, ‘Boys Don’t Cry.’
“I’m happy the guy was caught… trying to make it appear suicidal was simply a disgrace…. But if I were to have lost you….” I whispered against his pale white chest, choking on my words.
“I was so afraid when that crazed wacko appeared… tying me up and ripping the shit out of my wrists. Ironically, my first thought was, ‘I hope I can still do the cover art for my album.’ than the second being, ‘I hope I don’t die before I can tell Dave my feelings’.” You replied, your shuddering breaths ghosting over my ear.
I purse my lips in question and move away slightly, just so I could peer into your eyes. With a smile you peck me on the lips and answer, “I never thought you’d return my love, and when you whispered it when you thought I was unconscious in the hospital... And that’s what I need to say to you now, Dave. I love you.”
With a shared smile, a tearful one in my case, we kiss, and the morning light pierced the window, filling the room with all the hues of the rainbow.
The End