A long, long time ago, on the second floor of the AUBG main building, They stood.

They talked. They laughed. They wondered at the beauty of the world and inquired whether there was a Creator. And He said: "Yes."

And They asked: "Why you?" And He answered: "Because." And there was much rejoicing. Too much rejoicing. So much rejoicing that some nerd from the JMC lab yelled for Them to cut it out. But she was ignored. It was a time of new beginnings. The Faith was born.

And I was the first Creator. The Only Creator. The One True God, Infinite in My Greatness, Omnipotent, Omniscient, and Totally Fucked In The Head. Vast were My dominions, and numerous were my followers. Like, five, I think. And I was a good God, and an Equal Opportunity Employer. Thus was Jay put in charge of the High (well, Low) office of Hell and Surroundings, named Prince of Lies, Promoter of Liberal Arts Values and Seducer of the Young and Innocent, rightful owner of 49% of corporate stock. And I offered jobs, and vacancies were filled. And there was much rejoicing.

(For metaphor-comprehension-challenged: the whole bunch of us was standing near the JMC lab, talking about Stuff, then we talked about religion and figured that everyone can be God. I took over the position and said that my Godhood is as valid and demonstrable as any other God's, but you can talk to me for a change.)