First, with the scientific-looking crap. The Word. It�s one scary word, I should say. In some places people would prefer being called shit-eating motherfuckers rather than atheists. Not that any of us plan to move to Iran or Mississippi, so the losers living there can all go drown themselves. So, where was I � right, the word �atheism,� contrary to popular belief does not mean �belief in the nonexistence of God.� �Theos� means god, the �ism� thingie is obvious, while that �a� prefix means �without.� So, atheism, for all its infamy and bad press, is just that � an absence of theism, or god-belief. As such, it doesn�t even qualify as a worldview, much less a religion.

Thus, atheists can be for or against death penalty, war as solution to overpopulation, birth control and extermination of cats worldwide just because. They may disagree on just about anything one can think of. Unless, of course, they are all members of a planet-wide conspiracy to take over the Earth, force everyone to have sex outside marriage, worship Satan, kill their children, practice witchcraft and become lesbians� oops, the latter parts were Pat Robertson�s opinion of feminists.

This illustrates another point � atheists are disliked, shunned, hated and feared by all Good God-fearing Christians (Muslims/Judaists/whatever). By the way, I use the term �Judaist� here just to avoid the eternal hypocrisy of equating a nation with a religion. Jews who don�t believe in the Torah bullshit are still Jews, just as Moldovans who don�t like Moldovan wine are still Moldovans � as painful as it is to admit it. So back to atheism � it is not a religion, it does not make one�s life easier, it does not offer hope of salvation, eternal life/rebirth � or lots of money in the future if you just give your donation today to the House of the Lord-thank you-would you like a receipt for the IRS,-please, come again. Furthermore, you might even get in trouble.

So why go ahead with it all? Because it makes sense. Because, once you�ve quit worrying about the Big Guy in the Sky, you can go on with your life and enjoy it fully. Because believing in fairy tales, in the Year of Our Lord 2001, is an insult to human intelligence and civilization. Oh, and if the alternative for you was one of the Judeo-Christian religions, you really should go atheist � and presto! The Omnipotent Creator of the Universe will no longer take a keen (and, if I may say so, unhealthy) interest in your sex life.