The wedding took place a week after Zac's funeral. Most of the people who were invited lived in Tulsa, so it wasn't too much of a hassle, and the people from out of town either stayed with family or in a hotel, which I offered to pay for. What was weird was that none of the people from out of town seemed to mind staying to comfort the family.
When Taylor didn't seem to be getting any better, I asked him to invite Mimi to the wedding. He was going to be sitting next to Zac at the reception, but Zac wouldn't be there. I had an extra plate of food that Taylor would just end up eating, so I might as well fill the seat with someone.
Taylor and I were waiting in the airport the day of the wedding, Taylor tapping his feet and jumping around. It was early in the morning so I still had time to get ready. I was slightly nervous. Actually, I was extremely nervous but I wasn't letting it get to me because Taylor was more nervous about seeing Mimi than I was about getting married.
"Taylor, calm down," I said, laughing. He looked to so antsy it was amusing.
"I'm sorry, I'm just really nervous about seeing her again." I rolled my eyes.
"How nervous can you be? She's fourteen."
"She's fifteen now."
"Oh, excuse me," I said. "But calm down, kid. The plane hasn't even landed yet. Sit down and wait calmly. You're making me nervous." Taylor huffed and sat down next to me, tapping his fingers on the armrest. I groaned and rested my head in my hand. Taylor's tapping habit was annoying four years ago; on my wedding day it was barely intolerable. "Stop it!"
"Sorry."
The plane touched down a few minutes later, and when it was announced, Taylor became even more nervous and started tapping again. "What are you so worried about anyway?"
"I'm just worried if everyone will like her. Now don't go telling everyone how old she is. If they ask, say you don't know. I don't want it to be a big controversy. God knows you have enough problems getting married, people don't have to worry about me and my fifteen-year-old friend."
"Oh, she's just your friend now? She's not your date, she's your friend?"
"We're not dating!"
"Well, let's think about this. When she comes off the plane, are you going to give her a hug?" Taylor nodded. "And a kiss?" He nodded again. "She's your date, Taylor. Face it."
"You're full of it."
"At least I can admit when I'm dating someone." He gave me a look. "Tay, I'm sure she's a really great girl. Everyone will love her...as long as they don't figure out how old she is."
"Oh, they won't," he said, grinning. "You'd never guess she was fifteen. Well, at least she didn't look it in the baggy hospital pajamas...I haven't seen her in plain clothes." I wanted to see this girl. Taylor had a habit for falling for girls rather well endowed, and although he met her in an eating disorder clinic, I was sure she had a great rack on her.
The plane connected to a terminal and Taylor jumped up. "Do I look okay?"
"I thought you weren't dating."
"Shut up! Now do I look okay or not?" I rolled my eyes. "Ike!" The desperation in his voice amused me. Taylor was not one to get uppity around girls, especially ones he "wasn't dating." I didn't believe him at all, but he was just as stubborn as Mom when it came to things like these.
"You look fine, Taylor." He let out a content sigh. "Tay, this girl saw you at your absolute worst, when you were deathly thin and throwing up. I think you look a lot better from the last time she saw you."
"I'm just nervous, that's all. I haven't seen her in a while." The doors opened and people began to file out. Taylor ran his hands through his hair. I didn't get up but scanned through the people. I'd never seen her before so I didn't know what I was looking for. I kept an eye on Taylor and a few moments later I saw a broad smile cross his face. I turned my attention to the people coming out of the terminal and saw a beautiful girl lock eyes with him and smile widely. She ran over to us and threw her arms around Taylor. They engaged in a deep kiss, which I made a mental note to bug Taylor about later.
Mimi was definitely the kind of girl Taylor went for. She was still on the skinny side, which didn't surprise me, but she had boobs. She wore a low-cut shirt, which only accented them. "What's this?" he asked, obviously noticing them too. "Who said you could show off like this?" He put his hands over her cleavage. "People might see you!"
"Oh, why do you care, Taylor? I thought we weren't dating!" Mimi said, giggling.
"Is everybody against me? Don't you start too!" He gave her a look but ended up smiling and put his arm around her waist. "Okay, I'm being rude. Meems, this is my brother Ike. Ike, this is Mimi."
"Hi," she said, smiling. I stood up and shook her hand.
"Nice to meet you." She nodded and we stood in silence. "Are we going to stand here or maybe...move?" I asked.
"Oh yeah," Taylor said. "Duh." We started walking to baggage claim. Taylor took the bag Mimi was holding and took her hand in his other. I didn't know why he said they weren't dating, she obviously had no problem with any of it, but if he insisted...
After we stopped off in baggage claim and retrieved Mimi's suitcase, we got into my car and drove home. Taylor sat with Mimi in the back seat. They couldn't do anything because there was the car seat in between them, and it was amusing because Taylor kept trying to talk to her but couldn't see her over it.
We arrived at Rose's house and I got out of the car. Taylor took Mimi's suitcase out of the trunk and the two ran upstairs to get ready for the wedding. Now that I was alone, my nervousness came back. I walked up the stairs to my room where I found Taylor and Mimi making out on the bed. I leaned against the doorway and cleared my throat.
"Wasting no time, I see," I said, smiling. They separated, embarrassed. "Taylor, why don't you take Mimi to meet Rose? She's downstairs in her parents' room getting ready. I'd take her myself but she's not my guest and I'm not supposed to see Rose before the wedding anyway."
"I'm surprised you're still following that," Taylor said, getting off the bed and pulling Mimi with him. "Your luck couldn't get any worse."
"Actually, I'm seeing it as I need all the luck I can get. I'm trying very hard not to mess anything up." I smiled. "Go on. I have to start getting ready." They turned around and left.
After I took Mimi to meet Rose, we went back upstairs and into the room Mimi would be getting ready in. We were both supposed to start getting ready but we ended up on the bed. I wasted no time to kiss her, and when my lips reached her neck, she giggled. "Shouldn't you be in the other room getting ready?" she teased.
"We've got time." I looked up at her and smiled, kissing her lips a moment before concentrating on her neck again.
"Well I'm just happy to see you're okay," she said. "I didn't know how you were going to be acting today." I stopped. I'd forgotten about Zac. How could I forget about Zac? He'd been dominating my thoughts so much lately, to the point where I hadn't been able to concentrate on anything else. "I'm sorry..."
"No, it's okay," I said, but subconsciously tightened my grip on her waist. "Being with you made me forget about him."
"I don't want you to forget about him," she said. "I just want you to be happy."
"I'm happy with you." A sly smile came over her face.
"I thought we weren't dating," she continued to tease.
"Mimi?" I asked, looking up at her. "Are we dating?" She thought about it.
"I wouldn't call it dating because we have yet to be on an actual date, but I might very well consider you my boyfriend." I paused, thinking about it. That would make Mimi my girlfriend.
"So you're my girlfriend?"
"If you want to call me that, sure."
"That's weird to think about," I said. It'd been a long time since I had a girlfriend. I had sex with random people since my last girlfriend, but I hadn't actually been involved with anybody since her. I tried to remember my last girlfriend, and when her name entered my mind I couldn't believe it.
Mimi noticed my long pause. "What are you thinking about?"
"My last girlfriend."
"Beautiful, Taylor. You always know exactly how to make a girl feel special." I gave her a look.
"No, it's not that, it's just it's been a really long time since I've had a girlfriend." I paused. "You want to hear something funny?"
"Not really, but I have a feeling I'm going to hear it anyway."
"No, this is really ironic. My last girlfriend was Rose."
"Rose?" she asked. "The girl Ike is getting married to?" I nodded. "That is pretty ironic. So if she went out with you, why is she getting married to Ike?"
"It's an interesting story, actually. When I went out with Rose, I was in the heat of my experimentation phase," I said. "We went out for like three weeks, and at that time I didn't even like her. Well we broke up for reasons I will not tell your little virgin ears." She gave me a look. I smiled. "But maybe a week after we broke up she met Ike. She had no idea he was my brother. She started to date him and then we met again and after the awkwardness we became pretty good friends."
"Well...as long as she's getting married I have nothing to worry about."
"Trust me, sweetheart, you have no reason to be worried." She smiled.
"Good. Now get off me, I have to get ready."
"We can't stay like this a little longer?" I asked. She shook her head. "Please?" She shook her head again. "Oh, why not?"
"Because I need to get ready, and my leg is falling asleep." She pushed me off her. "Come on, get up." I stood up and got off the bed, pulling her up with me. "Oh shit," she muttered, and fell on me. "My leg's asleep!"
"I'm sorry. We'll just stand here until the feeling comes back." I wrapped my arms around her waist. "You know I'm really glad you came. I don't think I'd be able to look at the empty seat next to me knowing it was Zac's and be all depressed because he wasn't there. You'll help me keep my mind off him."
"I'm sitting in Zac's seat?" I nodded. "Honey, I'm hardly a replacement for your brother."
"Well, I can do things with you that I can't do with Zac. I can't kiss my brother," I said, and kissed her lips.
"You could, but I don't think he'd like it very much." I rolled my eyes. A look of pain crossed her face and she began to stamp her foot against the floor. "Ow! Ow!"
"You're such a wuss."
"I am not a wuss!" she whined.
"You are and you know you are." She gave me a look and started pushing me to the door.
"Why aren't you gone yet? You have to get ready and so do I. Leave me alone. Don't let the door smack you on the ass on the way out."
"Come on, Meems, don't do this to me."
"Taylor, your brother is getting married in a few hours. You will not waste time with me when you're supposed to be concentrating on him and supporting him." She gave me a kiss then opened the door. "I'll see you in a bit."
"Fine." I kissed her again and left the room. I walked over to Ike's room and knocked on the door. "It's me."
"Come on in, Tay." I walked into the room. Ike was in his dress shirt and pants, and grabbed his jacket from the bed as I came in. "So, let me guess, it didn't take a half an hour to introduce Mimi to Rose?"
"No, that only took about five minutes."
"I swear, Taylor, for two people who aren't dating you sure do make out a lot," he said, a smile on his face. He put his jacket on and adjusted it in the mirror.
"Oh, we're dating."
"It took you this long to finally figure it out?"
"Actually...yeah. I was talking to her and I asked if her if we were dating. She said we weren't exactly dating because we haven't been on a date yet, but she said she'd consider me as her boyfriend. I don't have a problem calling her my girlfriend but it just made me think of the last time I had a girlfriend."
"Who was your last girlfriend? I know it's been a long time."
"Rose." He looked at me blankly through the mirror.
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah!"
"Didn't the two of you break up because you slept with another girl?" he asked.
"Yeah, I slept with another girl. I didn't know her name then and I don't know it now. I don't think I ever talked to her after that." Ike shook his head in disappointment. "But knowing me in that phase, it was probably something like Kelly or Tiffany or some airhead cheerleader name."
"You have told Mimi about all of this, haven't you?"
"Oh yeah, she knows everything about me." Ike raised an eyebrow at me through the mirror. "Shut up. She was like a best friend to me before we started getting interested in each other."
"You know, she looks pretty great for just coming out of an eating disorder clinic."
"Yeah, I know! That place works wonders, man. Some people I saw when I got there were too sick to even lift their heads and they couldn't because they were so tiny, and when I left they looked...normal. Mimi came a few days after me and when I first saw her, I can tell you she did not have boobs like that."
"Let me guess, they were an added bonus from the program."
"I didn't even think she had it in her," I said, smiling. I sat down on the bed. "And let me tell you, when I first started to like her she was as flat as a post, so don't go thinking I went after her because she's got tits. I don't know how she did it, but the last time I saw her she was about half the size she is now."
"I think a lot of it has to do with the shirt she has on, Tay." I shrugged. "You know you never told me what it was like in that clinic. I've heard that they gave you a lot of food and you met Mimi there, but that's about it." I sighed. I did not have a good time there. I had fun with Mimi, Andy, and Eric, but otherwise it was dull and it drained me emotionally.
"It...it sucked," I said, falling back on the bed and looking up at the ceiling. "The times when I wasn't goofing off with Mimi or my roommate Andy, I was bored out of my mind and really, really depressed. I mean I was getting better, how could I be depressed? That place was just a depressing place. It wasn't exactly the atmosphere, but people were constantly coming in and leaving. It was good to see the people leaving because they were healthy enough to leave, but whenever somebody left it meant somebody else came in and you just look at them and go 'damn!' because they were so sickly. If you weren't gaining enough weight, they'd stick you on a feeding tube that prevented us from doing any physical activity. Our physical activity was monitored because people overworked themselves to lose weight. Three times a day we got these huge ass meals and we had to stay there until it was all gone...and then there were some kids that just couldn't handle it. I don't think I've ever seen so many people so depressed and trying to kill themselves. Not that many actually succeeded but there was a good four or five people that died when I was there and that was just self-inflicted crap. There was also a good amount of people that died because of the anorexia, because of the bulimia...it was usually within the first week that they were there so you didn't even get a chance to know them before they were gone. I never thought it'd happen but I actually thought of killing myself. Luckily before I tried anything I ran to Mimi and just babbled to her for hours on end and she talked me out of it, but it was really scary because I had reached rock bottom. That's why I feel so bad about Zac...I could have done something to talk him out of it. That and if I'd seen him leave right away I would have been able to stop him..."
"Taylor, don't beat yourself up over it. There was nothing you or anyone could have done to stop Zac. If you would have left sooner, you would have followed Zac up to the room and instead of seeing the aftermath, you would have seen him do it, and that would be a lot worse."
"But Ike I could have stopped him!"
"No you couldn't." I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest. "Don't you think you should start getting ready now? I'm not going to let you wait until the last minute to do this because I know you will."
"Fine."
"You know you're very lucky to have someone like Mimi--someone who knows what you're going through."
"Well, not exactly," I said, taking out my suit. "Mimi didn't have the guts to try to shove her finger down her throat. She's a wuss like that," I added, raising my voice.
"I am not!" I heard from the other room. I smiled.