I stood in front of the small crowd of rather nonchalant girls, a finger at my lips as I looked over each one. They were all extraordinarily beautiful; I don't know which one I want. I could take all of them but that would be rather wasteful and I don't think I'm up to having ten girls at the same time. I could always take more than one if the decision got too hard.

My eyes stopped at one girl, sitting slightly away from the crowd of girls who were trying their hardest to ignore that they were being judged. She wasn't as pretty as the rest of them but she had a quality about her that shone through. She was trying very hard to hide it, to hide herself, so she wouldn't be the one picked. She had this innocence about her�I bet she's a virgin�that shone from her striking eyes. She had the prettiest eyes� She wore a short skirt that showed off her long, thin legs. She had the legs of a model, which I smiled at. She had knee-high black leather boots on with a high, thick heel, which seemed to be screaming 'fuck me.' On top she had a sleeveless shirt with a zipper down the front, pulled dangerously low. Her long hair was over one shoulder, the rest of it falling neatly onto her back. She didn't wear much makeup, just something to accent her eyes. She didn't look at all comfortable in what she was wearing, constantly pulling at her skirt and checking to make sure her zipper didn't go down any further. I personally think she was talked into wearing it, and I knew I had to have her.

I walked over and she looked up when I stopped in front of her. I took her tawny hand in mind and brought her to her feet. She smiled, shyly at first but then when I kissed her lips it grew into a slight appreciation for me. If she's here, she knows what she's getting into, and I just hope she doesn't expect anything from it.

I didn't say a word as we began to walk away. She was trailing slightly behind me, her hand still in mine, and I found a secluded room. She closed the door, I don't know if she locked it or not, and I led her to the other side of the room. I couldn't see her in the darkness and that was slightly comforting. I always do this in the dark because I don't want to see what I'm corrupting. I found her waist and laid her down on the couch I'd seen when we'd walked in. I kissed her lips first, for just a moment, before I slipped my hands under her skirt and pulled off her panties. I threw them across the room (I find it funny to watch the girls go frantic to try and find them) then slid my hands back under her skirt. I'm not big on taking off clothes if I don't have to. Being naked is a sort of a sign of love, like people actually want to spend time on this, and I don't want to make love to these girls. There's no love involved in what we do.

I heard a soft gasp as I entered her, and her breathing got heavier as I began to take myself in and out. I kissed her neck mostly, my hands at the back of her knees, holding her legs open. Neither of us said a word, although I felt obliged to tell her everything was going to be all right, that everything she was feeling was normal. I knew once I entered her that she was a virgin and I've done my share of virgins; I know they tend to not like it the first time. I personally don't remember my first time�it was a long time ago and I've had countless partners since her. I don't even remember her name; then again I tend to not know names.

My eyes began to adjust to the darkness and I could see the contours of her face. Her eyes, what really had made me choose her, were shut tight and she was biting her lip in order not to say anything. Overall she looked like she was enjoying herself. I was glad; it was all she was going to get out of it. I could tell she was different from the other girls. She was more innocent, more of that signature good girl than the others. I hated to know that I was scarring that halo of her purity�once I was finished here I'd just leave. I wouldn't even walk her back to the group of girls. I'd leave her to fend for herself, I know she's going to be sore, and not even look back.

I closed my eyes and put my mouth over hers, not wanting to see her face anymore. I've always pictured myself ending up with some girl like this, that is if I ever decided to stop this decadent lifestyle. I could see myself years down the road with a wife as innocent as this girl had been before I got to her. And it all happened that quickly, not even five minutes ago she was sitting in the other room, hoping to God that she wouldn't be picked, and now here she is, just as much of a whore as the rest of them. Her body is being used for my pleasure, like a piece of meat, half-eaten then thrown aside for the vultures to finish off.

A minute or so later I felt my body burst into her (how horrible am I, I didn't even think about using a condom) and I didn't even let myself calm down before I got up and buttoned up my pants again. I walked to the door and stopped myself at it, my hand on the doorknob. I could change. I could turn around and go back to her, stay with her for a little while. I don't have anything to do. I can go back to her, ask her name, ask if she's all right, stop this charade and spend the rest of my life with this image of purity that I'd always imagined myself with. I bit my lip. I can't see her and she isn't saying anything. She knows I'm still in here because I haven't opened the door yet, and once I do that the light from outside will spill into the room.

I really could change. I'm the only one who does this�Ike and Zac, they're both the good ones. Once I've had my pick they talk to the girls, make them feel special. Although they're all there for me to take advantage of, my brothers take good care of them and treat them like human beings while I'm satisfying myself for just a few minutes. I mean I don't even know why I started�there was just this empty void that's still there that I've tried everything to fill and this is the only thing that makes it go away, even if it's only for a few minutes. If I stop everybody will be so proud of me, they'll look at me directly with a smile on their face instead of that disapproving look I get so much of.

I sighed. I can't change. I'm not strong enough to change.

I opened the door and the light blinded me a moment. I turned around to look at the girl, the only thing I'd let myself do different this time. The light was directly on her. She was sitting up on the couch, crying into her hands. I felt her tears in my eyes and I quickly shut the door, pushing her out of my life. I can't care about her. I never care about her. I looked around; not a soul in sight. I took in a deep breath and slid to the floor. The sobs from the girl were louder now because she knew I was gone. My breath got shaky and if I didn't do something I would be crying with her.

I heard footsteps and I quickly stood up, wiping any traces of tears from my eyes and sniffing. I walked away, my head held high when I knew I shouldn't have any pride in what I've done. I've ruined yet another life. I put on a smile for the woman who passed by, looking her up and down. She grew disgusted at my sleaziness, and put her folder over her chest and walked quicker. I knew I couldn't keep doing this, keep ruining innocent lives and my own reputation like this. I'll change tomorrow.

But that's what I said yesterday.

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