Christmas came and went quickly. It wasn't a joyful, happy day as it used to be for Ginger. She was outgrowing the excitement of the day and she had other things on her mind. Her father went early in the morning the day after Christmas to pick Zac up from the airport. He should be home soon. Ginger was sitting on her bed with a book when she heard two sets of footsteps pounding up the stairs. From the sound of it, it seemed like they were running. She looked up and Kris ran into the room, followed by Zac.
"Ginger your boyfriend is trying to murder me!" Kris yelled, running towards the far corner of the room.
"Zac, don't murder Kristina," Ginger said, putting her book down. "Tickle her. She can't stand that." Kris's eyes grew when she realized she was stuck in the corner. She tried to run past Zac but he grabbed her and the two fell to the ground, laughing. Ginger watched, amused. They'd talked on the phone that one time she was in the shower (which she necessarily didn't like to remember) but that was pretty much it. They'd never really met but they seemed like they'd been friends forever.
A few minutes later, Zac stood up, declaring victory. Kris was still on the floor, trying to get her breathing regulated after laughing and screaming for so long. Zac looked up at Ginger. "You're next."
"I don't think so," she said, scooting back on her bed. He pulled himself up on the bed. "Hi honey."
"Hi." He was sitting on the other side of the bed and Ginger wasn't moving, afraid he was going to attack her like he did Kristina. "Don't worry, honey, I'm not going to do anything to you."
"Sure," Kris said, getting off the floor. "You wouldn't do anything to Ginger but you can make me nearly have a heart attack, chasing after me and tickling me to death." Ginger smiled. "You're not making it any better either, Ginger. I am so going to do things to you in your sleep."
"No you won't," Ginger said.
"You're right. I won't. But I'll still give you the evil eye on the way out the door." Kris pointed at her sister, indeed giving her the evil eye, and walked out of the room.
"So much for thinking your family was normal," Zac said.
"My family is far from normal. Just the way we're set up is weird." Ginger moved over and he put his arms around her.
"You seem happy today," he said, trailing the smile on her lips with his finger. She could understand why he was surprised by the way she was acting. The last time he'd talked to her was before Christmas when Kristina called him up. He must have thought she acted like that often.
�You�re back, that�s why. I�m not like that all the time.� He nodded. As she looked up at him, she felt her happiness go away and she grew afraid. Looking at him reminded her of the last time they talked, and what that led up to. She was still getting adjusted to the news that she might have cancer.
�What�s wrong?�
�Zac, I�m scared.�
�Of what?�
�Everything. I mean two days ago I had my head checked for cancer and what if I have it? What am I going to do?" she asked, putting her head into his shoulder. "I have too many problems already. I don't need to have any more. All it's going to be is another thing to have people talking about behind my back."
"Sweetie, everything's going to be fine." His words were comforting, even if he was obliged to say them. She didn't know if he truly believed himself. She didn't know him well enough to find out when he really believed anything. They sure acted like they'd known each other for years, but as it was they'd only known each other a few weeks. He didn't know any of her problems and she didn't know any of his.
"Do you really believe that?" she asked, looking away from him.
"Yes I do. If it's true, I don't know. I don't know your luck and I don't know your life. But I do know that I have very good luck when it comes to people in my life and you're a part of my life now. So everything's going to be okay."
�Thank you,� she whispered. He only smiled and pushed her hair behind her ears. �Why do you do that?�
�It�s a habit.� She raised an eyebrow. �Well it is, I do it to my sisters all the time. They insist on hiding behind their hair and they don't realize they look so beautiful with their hair the way it should be.�
�Yeah, my brother used to do it to me all the time.� The words came out too fast for her to stop them. She quickly wriggled out Zac's arms and jumped off the bed, landing on her feet and heading out of the room.
"Ginger?" He was still in the bedroom. He'd be out of there and after her in an instant if she didn't move faster. She ran down the stairs as fast as she could, looking down at the steps so she wouldn't miss one and fall. She ran to the kitchen, lucky there wasn't anyone in there. Usually someone in the family was in the kitchen, looking through the fridge for something to eat. She hid her head in the pantry when she heard Zac come after her. She wasn't interested in food at all, especially when she was feeling this low. She hadn't brought up a nice memory.
�Okay, Ginger, what happened back there?� Zac's voice asked. She took her head out of the pantry and smiled.
"What are you talking about?"
"You ran off on me. Do you have a brother?" he asked.
"A brother? No! I have four sisters. No brothers. Not a one." She put her head back in the pantry and took a deep breath, closing her eyes. Zac walked up next to her and pulled her out to face him.
"You can't lie for shit."
"Swearing is a bad habit," she said, and walked past him.
"Don't change the subject, Ginger. What's wrong with your brother? Is he an outcast or something? Are we not supposed to talk about him?" When his voice began to rise, Ginger ran over and put her hand over his mouth, looking around to make sure no one else was around to hear.
"Don't say anything else," she whispered, looking up at his eyes. "I wasn't going to say anything but if it keeps you from announcing it to the house, I guess I'll have to." Her eyes flickered worriedly. "Let's go back upstairs."
He followed her back up the stairs to her room. She closed the door before climbing back up onto her bed where he already was. She sat close to him, keeping her voice low just in case anyone walked by outside and decided to listen in. "No one knows I have a brother. Kris doesn't even know. We don't talk about my family at all. We try to play it off that my three sisters aren't my blood sisters, but they are. I normally don�t talk about this; it usually makes me really upset. When I was with my real family, I had a brother two years older than me. We came down here from Chicago when my dad got transferred. I was five. We�d been here a few weeks when we got into an accident. My parents died and my brother and me were left. My brother was all right; he walked away with a broken arm. I wasn't hurt besides a few bruises but it left me with a lot of psychological problems. I got adopted a little bit afterwards. They didn�t know I had a brother and I was too shy to say anything. I suppose one of these days I�ll go and look for him, but it�s still to early.�
�It�s all right to want to look for him.�
�But no one knows, Zac. No one ever knew I had a brother and I really don�t want anyone to know. If my parents find out, they�ll all be like �Why didn�t you tell us when we were going to adopt you? We would have taken him too.� I just don�t want any more pity than I already have.�
�They don�t pity you, they just care about you.�
�Zac, you should see the look on my mother�s face when I complain about pain, or when I get my medication refilled. She looks at me like I�m this little child with nothing in the world and only her to turn to. She thinks I have a million things wrong with me when there�s really not that much. Of course it�s more than a normal person has. I really want to be normal.�
�There�s no such thing as normal, Ginger. Everybody has something wrong with them. Normal doesn�t exist and if it did, it would be really boring.�
Ginger sat up. �Well why can�t I be boring? I�d like it much then having brain cancer.�
�You don�t know if you have it yet,� Zac said, looking up at her. She sighed, looking around at her room. It was rather plain, a few family pictures, foster and biological, a portrait that Kris and Ginger painted together. Their mother found it rather beautiful and figured they should keep it in the room.
�You know, me and Kris painted that picture over there,� Ginger told Zac, pointing to the office nook in the corner of the room. He moved over to the edge of the bed and looked at it.
�Wow, I wish I could draw something like that,� he said. It was of the forest in the backyard.
�We spent hours in the backyard, just staring at this forest. One day I brought a canvas and some paint with me and we just drew everything we could see. Once we got to the sky it was nighttime so we got a chance to put in some stars. It turned out better than I thought it would. That was the first thing that I�ve done that doesn�t end up in me getting another bottle of pills.� Zac rolled his eyes, then pulled her down onto the bed.
�You�re beautiful.�
"You've told me that before."
"Well I can say it again if I want to," he said, wrapping his arms around her. �So what�d you get for Christmas?�
�We go from telling me I�m beautiful to what I got for Christmas?" He smiled. "I got what I wanted.�
�That narrows it down. What did you want?� he asked. She took his hand and laid next to him.
�You.� She trailed her fingers along his chest. "Just you."
"Just me? Well you're not very imaginative." She rolled her eyes.
�You�ve been doing that ever since I met you,� he said, cupping his hand around her face.
"Do you remember when we first met?" she asked. She felt like they'd been married for twenty years and were reminiscing over their first moments together.
"Of course I do. May 22, 1999. I remember every word. I told you my plan for our lives and you laughed at me. But the first part is true. I can�t legally drive yet and I�m going out with you.�
"Honey, I love you and all," she said, "but I can't think about our future. I'm so worried about everything going on right now. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? Aren't you supposed to be afraid of commitment and I'm supposed to be thinking of marriage and children and everything?"
"Hey, I looked at you and I knew. I don�t know how I knew, I just knew. It is scary, thinking that I was just thirteen when I found the person I'm going to marry."
"Well I don't just know," she said. "I can see us together in the future, but I don't have that assurance that you have. That's what really scares me."
"You've just got too much on your mind right now. It'll come. And if it doesn't�I'll start questioning my assurance. But right now I don't."
"I do have a lot on my mind." Zac sat up, leaving her lying on the bed. He allowed her to put her head in his lap and look up at him. "It's the whole cancer thing. I don't even know if I have it and I'm freaking out about it. It's just a real problem. It's something that could kill me and I have no control over it. At least when I was anorexic I could have control over when it was too much. I knew when it was too much. But now I'm so confused about everything. I keep asking myself what I did wrong to have this happen to me."
�You did nothing. You shouldn't think like that. You're not being punished for anything. You just have a problem. Everyone has a problem. Yours is just a little more serious than others'.�
�Why am I so afraid of this, though? Why am I so afraid of something that may not be?�
�It�s human.�
�Human. I sure don�t feel human. All my life something�s been wrong with me. When I was a baby I was colic. The worst case the doctor had seen in a long time. I cried and screamed for no reason until I was five. Then my parents died and my emotions went crazy and I began to see a psychiatrist once a week for years. I�ve been in and out of surgery; I have mood swings where I go from screaming to crying to giddy. At times I can�t even remember my own name, much less where I am or who anyone is. I had anorexia for years and they say I�m still not over it. I get headaches that last for days and literally keep me in bed all day. I�m anemic and my nerves are shot. When I was ten I had a nervous breakdown and I haven�t been the same since. I mean you heard what happened in the bathroom! I took a pill and the mug fell out of my hands and shattered all over the floor. I had no control over that at all. When I get emotional in any way I lose control of my hands and I can�t hold anything.� Zac didn�t say anything. There was nothing to say. �Wow,� she whispered.
�Wow what?� he asked. She smiled.
�I just dumped my life on you and you�re not pitying me.� He shrugged.
�That's because I don�t. It�s not something I do.� She sighed, looking at him. "You have no reason to be pitied. You're just like everyone else. You might even say you're the norm."
"I'm not the norm, Zac. I'm far from the norm. With all those problems�"
"Oh, a few minor details here and there. It doesn't affect anything. If you get cancer it's not a big deal. If you don't, it's just less that you have to go through. I'm going to love you the same if you're perfectly healthy or perfectly sickly."
"That means a lot to me."
"I just want you to know that. You're no different to me because you have a few typos in the code. Not much is going to change. And anyway, nobody's perfect. How boring life would be if people were perfect."
"Well we all know that you'd still be odd if everyone was perfect."
"I'm not odd."
"Oh honey, yes you are." She patted his face and got up. "Come on, let's do something. I'm not sitting around the house all day." She jumped off the bed and smiled at him.