"Ginger, you’re gonna be spending the day with your aunt cause I gotta leave for a while and I don’t want you by yourself," my mother said, four weeks later. She had gotten over my hair, actually, she really liked it.
"Mother, I’ll be fine at home."
"No you won’t be. Too many things have been going on, so you’ll be staying with Aunt Monica at the DMV." I rolled my eyes, it wasn’t that Aunt Monica was boring, it’s just her job was.
Without further discussion, it was off to the DMV.
"Oh Ginger, you’ve grown so much! And if you weren’t with your mother, I wouldn’t even have recognized you!" the 35 year old Reeses Pieces of bleached blond shit squeaked.
I smiled, she was right. Besides the hair and the eyes, my skin had gotten lighter due from staying inside all that time, and my hair that was just below my shoulders was now to my ass, my boobs had gotten bigger yet my body was really bony. I had gone from 135 pounds to 90 in those four weeks.
Not even my best friend would have recognized me.
My mother left, and my aunt went back to work, so I just hung around, doing absolutely nothing. Monica was occupying herself with taking the license pictures.
When there was no one around, I went up to there, and took a picture of myself. Then I ran over to the computer and typed in Ginger Stevens, 2/10/76 (that day), Female, no restrictions. I filled out all the other necessary information, and soon I was a 23 year old instead of 13.
I put the license in my pocket and gave myself a smile.
"Why Ginger, what are you doing?" Monica asked. I shrugged, looking around. "You should have told me you were back here, I was looking for you. It’s my lunch break, I’m going across the street, do you want to come along or stay here?"
"I’ll stay here. I have to catch up on my thinking, I haven’t done that in a while!" I stated, with a short grin.
"O.K., I’ll go by myself," the ditz said and walked out. Loser! I thought, and started playing with the machine again. It was surprising how no one caught me doing this.
I heard a bell at the front desk, and thought of doing something interesting. Quickly I walked up to the front desk and there was someone waiting there. I looked him over, before meeting with his eyes.
"Yes?" I asked. "Don’t mind me, I’m new here," I stated, with a smile, not even recognizing him.
"Hi," he said in a soft Kentucky accent. "I’m here to get my license renewed. And don’t mind me, this is my first time getting it renewed." It could pass as a little flirting.
"I won’t." Even though the writer of this story has absolutely no idea how you go about getting your license renewed, the girl in this story has been here enough times to know.
So she went along doing her job, and saw his name on the license. Brian Littrell…oh my God my first customer is a Backstreet Boy! Damn, I have the best timing.
I handed Brian his license. "There ya go, happy birthday in a couple of days."
"Thanks. And when’s your birthday?" he asked. God I love his accent!!
"23 today."
"Make ya work on your birthday? I’d go against that. See I get a day off on mine," he said, smiling.
"Well first couple of days working here, and I can’t take a day off already. I don’t really mind. So you’re gonna be 24?"
"Yup." He looked at his license. "Hey, good picture. Last time I got a sucky one."
"It happens. So, whaddya you do?" He gave me a bizarre look like I was from another planet or something.
"Ever heard of the Backstreet Boys?" he asked.
"You’re in the Backstreet Boys?" I asked, playing like I never heard of them before or something. He nodded, giving me a suspicious look. "Nah, I’m just kidding, I don’t live under a rock, I know you guys."
"You had me going there for a second. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone that’s never heard of us, well, after we became famous. I’m just happy you didn’t scream your head off."
"I could of, but oh well, I don’t think my lungs can handle anything over normal speaking level. What’re you doing back here?" I asked.
"Me and the guys are taking a little break from each other. I mean I love them and all, they’re like my brothers, but even brothers need time from each other. So I’m here for a few weeks."
"Cool."
"Yeah, you know we should get together sometime. What’s your number, maybe I should call you." I told him my number, and my name cause he didn’t know, and smiled.
"If my sister picks up don’t worry, she’s living with me for a while cause she’s like going to Tampa College or something and can’t afford a dorm. Just ask for me and I’m normally home."
"Okay, I’ll do that. So, see ya later," he said, and left. I watched him leave, happy there was absolutely no one else in that place. Maybe two minutes after he left, my aunt walked back in.
"Did I miss anyone?" she asked. I shook my head.
"No." She smiled, and went behind the counter, resuming her work. (Which mainly involves waiting for a shitload of people to come in) I went out and sat down on the chair, trying to figure out my luck.
Sheesh, first I meet Zachary Hanson, we’re like together now or something, and now I met Brian Littrell! I got the best luck in the world. I’m not a player, I just crush a lot.
And I sat the rest of the day smiling.
"Ginger!" my mother yelled up the stairs.
"What?" I asked, after sticking my head out the door, and getting pretty annoyed.
"There’s someone named Brian on the phone," she said. "Who is he and where did you meet him?" she asked.
"Don’t worry, he’s clean," I said, and went back into my room, picking up a phone. "Hello?" I said, and waited for my mom to hang up. When she did he started talking.
"What does it mean that I’m ‘clean?’ " he asked me, suspiciously.
"Have you heard about what’s been going on lately here?" I asked. He said no. "Well lately there’s been a few shootings, and so far two people have been killed, and someone else got shot in the back and in the leg, and my sister is worried about me or something."
"What’s your sister’s name?"
"Donna," I said.
"O.K. So, you wanna go somewhere?" he asked. I nearly burst out laughing, cause I never heard that before. It was always you wanna get something to eat, you want to go out, whatever.
"Yeah. Where?" I asked.
"I dunno."
"We’re not getting very far, ya know."
"Yeah, we’re not. How bout we go to Westshore mall?" he asked, casually.
"Sure. I’m kinda far from there, so I’ll meet you in front of the Food Court in a half an hour?" I asked.
"K. See ya then."
"O.K." I hung up, and threw on something better than my PJ’s, and slid on my sneakers and ran downstairs, brushing my hair on the way. I ran into the bathroom and quickly brushed my teeth while putting on some make-up.
I grabbed the car keys and ran out the door, in record time of five minutes. Of course, I had already learned how to drive and since I had my license it wasn’t hard for me to get there.
"You look beautiful," Brian told me when I found him in front of the Food Court in Westshore mall.
"It wasn’t easy, I went from hanging around in my PJ’s to this in like five minutes." He laughed.
"You did a really good job of it, for five minutes. I can’t even get on a pair of pants in five minutes."
"Well I said a half an hour and I live like twenty minutes away from here and I still had to get gas and I had no money so my body still expects me to run laps around here."
"It wouldn’t hurt," he joked.
"Hey! You gotta at least know me for two days before you can crack jokes at me," I said, as we started walking around the mall. He seemed really nice, but I really had other things on my mind.
Like the fact that I haven’t gotten my period in three months.
It was really starting to worry me, I haven’t had sex with any guy except for when Jeff raped me…oh shit, I thought. I had a doctor’s appointment that day at three o’clock, so I told Brian I had to leave by two thirty. We still had a long time together, it was nine then.
"So what’s the rush with leaving at two thirty? Got another date that I should know about?" he asked.
"Yeah, it’s with this really cute guy, maybe you’ve heard of him. His name is Nick Carter?" I asked. Brian just gave me a look. "Nah, I’m just kidding, I got a doctor’s appointment at three and I don’t wanna be late."
"What for?" he asked.
"Allergies, they’re getting really bad, they always do around this time of year and I want to get rid of them as soon as I can," I quickly lied. I had the whole thing planned out, whatever question he had, I had a lie for it.
And I wanted a quick thing…get an abortion and get out.
So we went along with our malling, my mind sort of not there, but I don’t think Brian noticed. He probably just thought I was spacey that day. Finally, around two, he said something.
"Are you always like this or is there something else on your mind?" Brian asked. I turned my head to him.
"Eh, I didn’t sleep well last night," I lied. I had done a lot of that the past few hours. He smiled, a rather off smile too. He knows I’m lying but he’s not gonna say anything cause he’s too nice, I thought, knowing that automatically the second he smiled.
"So, when are you going back with everybody and all that?" I said, breaking the silence. He shrugged.
"Like a month. It’s mostly cause AJ and Kevin are really getting on each other’s nerves and they need time to cool off. I don’t want them to get into a fight or anything cause Kevin’s gonna win."
"Is he really as buff as he looks?" I asked.
"Yeah, and then some. I mean he can power-flick me across the room, but he’s too nice to do anything like that. And he’s a cry-baby." I laughed. "He is! I mean we recently went to see some movie and he started bawling at the end. Then again I shouldn’t be talking, cause I did too, but oh well."
"Well I like a sentimental guy," I said.
"You got one of the most sentimental guys around, as long as you cry more than I do, I’m fine," he said, smiling.
"I will."
The rest of the time we had with each other (which was a half an hour) was pretty fun, cause I forgot about my appointment, I forgot about the rape, I forgot about Kevin and Jackie, I forgot about Jeff…
And I forgot about Zac.
"You ready?" Dr. Lisa Simon asked me. I had actually done all the tests a while before, a couple of days actually. I got pregnancy, herpes, HIV, and all the other STD tests done, and today I was getting the results.
"Yeah."
"You’re pregnant." I let out a long sigh. "And you don’t have any diseases or anything like that. But Ginger you’re three months pregnant, how come you didn’t come in before?"
"I don’t know, I really don’t know." I was almost crying. I had forgotten about everything, I was so happy and then I find out that Jeff had gotten me pregnant.
That bastard!!
I sighed. "And I know you wanted to have an abortion, but you can’t have one without your mother’s consent." I got up.
"What?!" I yelled. "You actually want me to tell her? I can’t do that! She knows something’s been going on, she knows that I’ve come home shot twice, but she doesn’t know that he raped me too. I don’t have to tell her who the father is, do I?"
"No. But you need to tell him."
"I’m not gonna tell him! He’ll kill my baby," I said, clutching my stomach. "He can kill two of my best friends, he can shoot me all he wants, but he can’t kill my baby." I started crying and Lisa comforted me.
"You’re gonna have to tell him, and if he threatens you, you need to go to the police. You already said that he’s killed two of your friends and shot you twice, and has threatened you. Now I can’t tell the police any of this unless you want me to…"
"NO!"
"Alright, I won’t tell them but one of these days you’re gonna have to." I sighed and sat down. "Now I need you to tell your mother anyway, and you need to tell Jeff too. Your mother’s gonna find out, I mean she’s gonna wonder why six months from now a baby pops outta ya!" I laughed, and wiped at my eyes.
"O.K., I’ll tell her. And I’ll tell Jeff, but I don’t want him to do anything, he’s really quick with a gun."
"Then take someone along with you. Take your mom along, take a cop along, take a friend along, just don’t go by yourself if you’re afraid he’ll kill your baby," she said, turning from witty to serious in an instant.
"Lisa I’m so afraid," I said, sitting back down on the little patient’s bed thing that was in the little office.
"You have ever reason to be afraid, but don’t let that get to you. You’ll be fine, and before you know it, you’ll be a mother."
"I can’t keep the baby, Lisa. I’m just way too young and I know that I won’t be able to keep it, not with my life. I’ve already decided that I want to put it up for adoption."
"Well whatever you choose, you can do, it’s up to you." I sighed, and looked up to the blond woman, who was in her late thirties.
"I’m not keeping this baby."
"You’re WHAT!?" my mother screamed. I jumped back, hitting the wall. I wasn’t expecting that. "How can you be pregnant? Of everything I taught you, I told you to at least use a condom until you were married but no, you have to go against that."
"No mom, it wasn’t that…"
"What, forgot? It ripped, what?" she asked.
"Well…"
"Shut up!!"
"If you would let me explain maybe you wouldn’t be so fucking mad, mother!" I screamed, making her jump back this time. She sat down and told me to explain. "I didn’t forget, nothing ripped, he raped me."
"Who?" she asked, her voice returning to normal state, and she actually felt sorry for me. I didn’t answer, just looked away, my eyes glossing over with tears. "Who?" she asked again. I still didn’t answer. "Laura, I need to know who was it."
"It was Jeff," I barely whispered.
My mother’s face fell. "Has he done anything else to you?" she asked, softly. I gently nodded. "What?"
"He was the one who killed Kevin and Jackie. And he was the one who shot me. Both times." She gasped, and turned away, a hand covering her mouth. I walked over to her, and turned her around, causing her tears to fall.
But it wasn’t a big deal, I was crying too. "You can’t say anything, mom. He’s really dangerous and right now I gotta tell him he’s the father of my child. That’ll be hard enough, and I don’t want any more trouble with him."
"You’re gonna have to tell someone."
"That’s exactly what the doctor said, but mom I don’t want it right now. I’ll do it later, not now. I guess I’m trying to get on his good side."
"His good side? Honey, he is a murderer! He killed two innocent kids and he’s still going loose? You’re the only one who knows, and you need to do something about it."
"I don’t wanna do something about it. And there’s another person who knows."
"Who?"
"Ricky. But he’s Jeff’s solid best buddy and he wouldn’t say a word unless I turned him in, and then he would testify against him, of course, but not any sooner."
"Then you got to tell someone. Right now he could be planning another strike! Who’s he gonna kill next? You’re playing games with him and this is serious."
"I know it’s serious, but I can’t help anything. People’s lives are at stake and I have the power to stop that but I can’t do anything. You don’t know what it’s like to hold someone’s hand while they die, you don’t know what it’s like to see someone die right before your eyes and all you can do to help is watch and pray for them. When that happens to you, then you‘ll know what I’m dealing with here."