Well, I said bye to all my friends, packed up all my bags and we were in Tulsa in three days. I just decided on the first room I saw, which was on the second floor, three doors on the right.
As you walk in, you have a window facing west, a large walk-in closet, and the bed in the corner. There�s a small balcony where you can stand and watch the sun go down.
I had to decorate my room myself because (figures) the previous owner had no taste in anything. So we went to the hardware store and got two buckets of blue paint because it was all three of my guys� favorite color.
I put down a few old bed sheets, threw on my crappy old overalls and my crappy T-shirt and started painting. My hair got annoying after a while so I put it back in a clip, and continued.
After smoothing out paint on half my room, my mother came in, and saw me spotted blue. She sighed, shaking her head. "Take a shower, we�re going over to the Hansons� for dinner in an hour." I gave her a look.
"Do I have to go?" I asked. She nodded. I sighed, and covered up my paint bucket and searched through my suitcase and pulled out my khakis and a loose brown tank top, and went into the bathroom.
I came out a half an hour dressed, but no make-up. I searched through all my bags and couldn�t find my make-up bag anywhere. So I leaned out of my room. "MOM!" I yelled.
She came to the bottom of the stairs. "What?" she asked.
"I can�t find my make-up bag, can I use yours?" I asked. She nodded, and then left. I ran into her room and went to her make-up. "I�m just glad we�re the same color," I muttered to myself, and took out her foundation, powder, gray eye-shadow and black eyeliner, silver lipstick and neutral blush.
I finished that just in time for us to leave. Quickly I picked out some earrings and put them in before running out the door and following my mom. "Wait up for me," I yelled at her. She stopped. "Sheesh, lady with a baby, let me have some time to catch up."
She looked me over. "You look good," she said. I looked at her. Her jeans were sorta good, a little old, and her shirt was fading. I shrugged. "Your bra strap is showing, you know how much I hate that."
I tucked in my strap underneath my shirt, and followed her over to the only other house on the street. Before we got there, I sighed, and made sure I didn�t have any wrinkles in my pants or a spot on my shirt or something.
We came up to a nice house, I guess. I really hate that word. Nice. It�s just so general, and it�s used too much. Well, it was an old house, but sorta modern. I don�t know it was just�nice.
My mother rang the doorbell, and I leaned against the side of the house. "Don�t do that, you look like you�re bored. Did you brush your hair before you left?" I nodded, and turned around, showing her my brushed hair. She just gave me a weird look.
"What?" I asked.
"I really want to make a good impression on them. I want them to think that we�re a normal family, not as deranged as we actually are."
"Well mom, we�re neighbors, they�ll get to know us and they�ll know that we�re that deranged. Zac already knows, but I don�t think he remembers." She shrugged and the door opened.
There stood Taylor, who eyed me strangely. "Can I help you?" he asked. I laughed.
"We�re the Stevens, your mom invited us over to dinner tonight," I informed him, talking slowly so his simple mind would understand. (Remember this is Taylor, the one who dropped a dictionary on his toe.) He nodded.
"Oh yeah, I remember now. Sorry, today�s my off day. Come in," he said. I walked in first, followed by my mother. I was surprised he didn�t recognize me, but then remember, this is Taylor.
Maybe two seconds after we got into the house, Zac came downstairs, and stopped when he saw me. Then he turned away, his hair in his hands. "Oh my God, you�re invading my house now," he said. "Can I be safe anywhere?"
I actually laughed at that. "Hey, I had to come. It�s not like I wanted to or anything. I'm gonna be living right down the street so I suggest you decide to live with it or butt out," I told him.
"It�s not my fault I hate you."
"Oh so it�s my fault now?" I asked. "I don�t think so. You feel the way you do because you decided to. It had nothing to do with me."
"It had everything to do with you!" he yelled back at me. "You and you�re little Jeff guy."
"Don�t you dare bring him into this," I snapped. "Don�t you even try it."
"You know it�s about him."
"Yeah, you�re jealous that I love him and not you." My mother grabbed my arm and pulled me away.
"Continue the conversation later," she told me. I gave Zac a nasty look and followed my mother into the kitchen where Diana was. She noticed our presence and welcomed us to her home.
"Hi, I�m Diana Hanson," she said to my mom. When she turned to me she looked kinda shocked. "Weren�t you the girl who came with us on the tour for a little while?" she asked. I nodded. "I knew I recognized you."
"I really wanted to stay with you longer but I had something really important to do," I told her. Just then the image of Kevin, lying on the ground and me holding my handkerchief to his side with one hand, holding his hand with the other, and hoping for the best.
I choked up, so I didn�t say anything more. I felt tears coming up to my eyes but I refused them. "And why was that?" she asked. She meant it in a polite way, so of course I had to answer her.
"One�" I paused and cleared my throat. "One of my friends died," I choked out. It just got to me then. "Excuse me," I got out and ran from the room. Diana turned to my mom.
"I didn�t mean anything like that�"
"I�m sure, but she hasn�t really talked about it much since it happened. It was only a few months ago, don�t worry. Hormones are threw the roof right about now."
"Why?" Diana asked.
"Oh she�s pregnant." My mother said it like it was no big deal or anything. But Diana didn�t think so. Before she got a word out my mother explained. "She was raped at school. That�s part of the reason why we moved."
"Oh," was all Diana said.
I sat on their front ledge thing, on the edge of the step, trying my best to keep my composure. But I had tears streaming down my face, luckily I had waterproof eye makeup on. Just thinking of Kevin made me so upset. And if it wasn�t Jeff who killed him, then who did?
I heard the front door open, and quickly I tried to make myself look better. Someone offered me some tissue so I took it, looking up to see who it was. Of course, it was Zac. He sat down next to me.
"I thought you were mad at me," I said. He smiled.
"I can�t stay mad at you for very long without realizing that the whole fight was something stupid. If you�re in love with Jeff, then you�re in love with Jeff. I couldn�t see why though. I mean he did�"
"Don�t even bring it up, Zac. Please. So, I forgive you, do you forgive me?" I asked. He nodded. "Good, I need someone to cry on right now," I said, and hugged him.
"Well I�m here for you, whenever you need me," he told me, putting his forehead against mine. "Shouldn�t your makeup be running right about now?" he asked.
"I got the waterproof stuff on. Unless my tears are soapy, then it�ll stay put." He smiled.
"You�re rather pretty when you cry."
"Shut up."
"No." I stared at him, realizing my forehead was still against his. He brought his lips to mine and kissed me gently. I wasn�t really expecting that, but it happened so I kissed him back.
It was funny that I had already fucked Jeff, made out with Brian, but this is the second time I�ve ever kissed Zac. Oh well, things couldn�t of come at a better time.
But of course, Taylor opened the door to get us to come to dinner. We didn�t really hear him come out for obvious reasons. He saw us and ran back inside.
"Uh, they�re kinda busy right now," Taylor informed his mother. My mom was there too, and she picked up automatically.
"Well it�s about time they did something," she said. "She�s only been in love with him for months now." Diana and Taylor gave her the same surprised look.
"Don�t tell me you didn�t know that," she asked.
"No," Diana said. This time my mom gave her the surprised look, and she shook her head.
"It�s been rather obvious. I really don�t know Zac all that well but he�s probably said something to someone. Cause Ginger�s told me all about it. Then again we�re a really open family. I better go out there and stop em before they get too far."
She left without another comment, and went out to the front porch. "Alright, I don�t wanna have to get the hose," she said, interrupting us. Zac pulled away from me, finally.
"Mom, ya have to break us up right when it was getting good?" I asked.
"Well, you need to come inside and eat. Ginger I know you haven�t had anything all day and that�s not very good considering you circumstances right about now." I sighed, and got up.
I glanced at Zac, and realized he had a smudge of my lipstick on his lips. I wiped it off, and he thanked me. We went inside and sat down. Everyone had started eating already.
"Thanks for waiting for us," Zac said. He didn�t get a response, just the sound of light conversation and people eating. So he turned back to me. "So, how long have you been in Tulsa?"
"A few hours. I was painting my room before we came over, and I still have some paint on my hands and stuff," I said, showing him my hands that had little dabs of blue. "It won�t come off."
"Did you use soap?"
"Yes, I used soap you idiot," I told him. He put up his hands in defense. "I�m just kidding, ya know."
"I know. Do you mind if I ask what you�re gonna do with your baby?"
"If you haven�t already noticed, you just asked. But I don�t care. I talk about it a lot with Jeff."
"Don�t bring him up, please," Zac told me. I nodded. "So, what�re you gonna do?"
"I�m gonna try and find a family that�s willing to adopt. I�m still only 13, I�ll be 14 when I have him, I have my whole teenage life to live and I can�t handle having a baby and being a teenager at the same time. It just doesn�t work."
"What will you do if you don�t find someone who wants to adopt?" he asked.
"Well, there�s gotta be people out there who want him. If I can�t find someone, my aunt can�t have children so she said if I can�t find anyone then to give her the baby. She�s a last resort because we�ll see her a lot and that�ll be really hard for me."
"When�s he due?" Zac asked, figuring that I�ve said he a lot so the baby must be a boy.
"August 15th." The conversation seemed all too familiar to me, then as I took a bite out of my mashed potatoes, I realized where I�d had this conversation before.
Jeff put his hand on my stomach and started talking to it. "Hey buddy, you gotta stop kicking your momma so hard," he said. I laughed. "Now make sure you use that for good things. I know you�re gonna wanna play soccer when you get older."
"Jeff�"
"I�m talking to my son, alright?" he said. I smiled, and he went back down to my stomach. "You gotta remember to be a really good boy, alright? I want you to grow up to be one great guy. I love you." He turned to me. "What�re you gonna do if you don�t find someone who wants to adopt?"
"Well, there�s gotta be people out there who want him. If I can�t find someone, my aunt can�t have children so she said if I can�t find anyone then to give her the baby. She�s a last resort because we see her a lot and that�ll be really hard for me."
"When�s he due?"
"August 15th.
"How come you gotta be so sweet?" I asked him. He shrugged, and put and arm around me.
"Because I am just one sweet guy."
"And so modest too!" I put my head against his shoulder. "Jeff?"
"Yeah?"
"We don�t have a song. We�re having a kid together and we don�t even have a song."
"Then what are we supposed to do? I don�t know what kind of music you like."
"That�s really pathetic. But then again, I don�t know what kind of music you like. Well, who is there?" I asked myself, kinda drifting away, trying to think.
"You like Savage Garden?"
"Yeah."
"How bout �Truly, Madly, Deeply�?" he asked.
"O.K."
"Good. Then �Truly, Madly, Deeply� it is." There was a long silence, and when Jeff looked down to me I had fallen asleep on his shoulder.
"Ginger?" Zac asked, waving a hand in front of my face and snapping his fingers. I clicked back into life.
"What?" I asked, my head shooting up. He gave me a strange look.
"I lost you there. Where ya been?" he asked. I shrugged. "Well sensing from the dazed look on your face, the wacky smile and the gleam in your eye, it can�t be about me. So, who�re you thinking about?"
"No one."
"Sure," he said, not believing me one bit but he did have a right to. I was daydreaming about Jeff and I knew I shouldn�t be. I love Zac and all, but I love Jeff too. And I�m a smidgen away from sleeping with Brian�so I guess I love him too.
"You really gotta work on your trusting skills."
"Well I know as a matter of fact that there�s someone else in your life right about now so why shouldn�t I be suspicious. I mean who knows what you�re doing when I�m not around."
"Jeff�"
"What did you just call me?" he asked. I realized what I did and put my hand over my forehead, trying to get things straight in my head. My mind had been wandering to Jeff the whole entire night, but I never thought anything like this would of happened.
"Oh God help me," I whispered
"You�re gonna need it," Zac told me. It was funny how everyone else had their own little conversations and didn�t realize a word we said. Well, almost everyone. My mother was sitting next to me and she heard me call him Jeff.
She sighed and leaned over to me. "I really need to talk to you when we leave." I nodded, and looked at the wall, away from Zac.
I felt tears welling in my eyes but I didn�t let them fall. Just one look Zac would overcome my emotions, I know it. "So you�re in love with this Jeff guy too?" he asked. He knew about Jeff, he knew a lot about Jeff. More then he wanted to know.
"I guess."
"You guess? It�s a simple question, do you love the guy or not?"
"Brian, this isn�t exactly the place to be having this conversation."
"Who the hell is Brian?" Zac asked. My mouth dropped. A tear spilled over but I quickly wiped it away. "Don�t even bother crying, we�re going nowhere with this. I try to relent and now you�re calling me Brian? How many guys are you seeing now?"
"This isn�t the right place to be having this conversation, Zac. Can we at least go somewhere else?" I asked.
"I don�t see anything wrong with where we are," he said. "They�re not even paying attention to us. And if they wanna listen in then that�s what they�ll do."
"Well I don�t like talking here."
"Tough luck. Who is Brian?"
"I guy I met in February."
"So this is after me," Zac said. I nodded. "What�s his last name?" I sighed, knowing he wasn�t gonna believe me.
"Littrell."
"The Backstreet Boys� Brian Littrell?" I nodded. "Why would he go with you? You�re 13."
"He doesn�t know that." He gave me a look. "He thinks I�m 23."
"I�ll remember to tell him that when we do that show with them next week," he said. I shook my head.
"Don�t you even think about it, Zac," I told him, in a desperate but stern voice.
"And you�re gonna stop me how?" he asked. I shrugged and told him I just was. He shook his head. "You�re not getting very far with this, you know. You have absolutely no control over it."
"I have connections."
"What do you mean by that?" Zac asked.
"Well, I seem to have a good relationship with your mom, so who knows? I might be able to go with y�all over there and meet up with him. I know he�ll believe me over you."
"You think that?"
"From talking to him before, he doesn�t seem to believe you guys all that much, and he�s on really good terms with me."
"damn," he whispered under his breath. I barely heard him. But I did and I smiled. We had been talking for a good hour. Wait, we had been fighting for a good hour, and I was surprised everyone else hadn�t left us already.
I had eaten half of the food on my plate and my baby was hungry, so I knew I had to eat more. So I continued eating. Zac looked me over for a minute. Why did I ever fall in love with her? I mean, she�s got beautiful hair and her eyes are just so amazing. She�s got a cute nose, but a big mouth. Her personality was wonderful the first time I met her, she�s still gorgeous but she�s taken. Twice, too.
Zac sighed, realizing that he couldn�t have a player.