"Hollywood? You're taking me to Hollywood? Oh my God!" Lauryn said and flung her arms around me. "You're the best." She kissed me.
"Well, I figured I had to take you somewhere intriguing. I did not want to spend another day going to the stupid movies and stupid restaurants."
"I see how adult you're being about this. Stupid this and stupid that..."
"Shut up. I got you here, didn't I? I spent good money on a first class ticket, didn't I?" She nodded. "Where do you want to go first?" I knew where she wanted to go first�Rodeo drive. She wanted to shop. But, she wasn't going to insist.
"Well, I've never been here before. What's good?"
"Well there's Santa Monica, that's always a good place to start." She nodded. "After that we can go shopping."
"Really? You'll actually take me shopping?" she asked, her eyes widening. "God, Zac, you take me to Hollywood, you take me shopping...what's next?"
"Uh, not much. I've got a car waiting downstairs." I took her downstairs and out of the airport. I had a silver mustang convertible waiting with a friend.
"Hey, Zac, what's up?" my friend Jake said, greeting the two of us near the entrance to the airport.
"Hey. This is Lauryn. Lauryn, this is my bud Jake." Jake waved.
"Nice car," Lauryn said.
"Yeah, you better have it back in one piece, Zac. I don't know why I even let you borrow it." I opened Lauryn's door for her then took the keys from Jake.
"Because everybody loves me." I got in the car. "See you later." I pulled away, waving.
"How do you know him?" Lauryn asked.
"Jake? Oh, me and him go way back." Everybody and me go way back. "I know someone in just about every city well enough to borrow a car."
"Well, I guess it comes in handy..."
"Yeah, it does when we're on tour. If I want to go somewhere, I can just call up someone and ask for the car."
"So, what're we going to do today?" she asked. I smiled.
A half an hour later I was skating backwards down the boardwalk along Santa Monica beach. "You suck at this," I told her.
"Well I'm not Mr. Perfect like you."
"I hope you're not Mr. Perfect. Then you'd have a lot of explaining to do." She giggled. I've spent the morning with her and I'm not even getting sick of her! I'm not even getting frustrated with her! This is great.
"You're a nut."
"I know. You having fun so far?"
"Nearly running over unsuspecting people on roller blades? Of course I'm have fun." She smiled. "Watch out." I looked behind me and turned to the right so I wouldn't run into someone on a bike.
"So what do you want to do next?" I asked. "We've got Pacific Park, which is always fun. I can take your to the Chinese Theatre and the Walk of Fame."
"I'd like to stay here for a little bit longer first. Then we can head over to Pacific Park."
"All right."
"Now let's see if you can catch me." She skated past me and down the boardwalk. Hey, maybe I should just let her go. No, she doesn't know her way around here. I looked down the boardwalk then skated after her.
It was a beautiful day out, a bit chilly but the sun felt good on my back. It was nothing like back home, where it was rainy and cold and dark and shit. Out here everyone was living it up; enjoying the bright sun and blue skies with the cool weather. You could tell who was visiting and who lived here by the color of their skin. All the tourists (like myself but I hate calling me that because I have a house here) were pale in comparison to the bronzed natives.
There were people out on the beach getting tan and some actually swimming. They were all tourists because the natives would never go in the water with this weather. Too cold. I'd love to make this my permanent home someday, instead of living here while we recorded in our LA studio. For singles and mixes we used the studio back home in Tulsa, but when recording the album we were out here in bright, beautiful California.
"Come on baby, you're not even trying!" Lauryn yelled at me from down the boardwalk. Did she just call me baby? What the hell? Don't tell me we've already entered that stage of our relationship. My name is Zac; I don't want to be known as 'baby.' Oh my God I'm in a relationship. What the hell am I doing? I'm in a relationship with a girl I don't even like to begin with and I'm still in love with someone else! I am so stupid! Here I am, in California with a girl I don't even like! I'm spending hundreds of dollars on her and I agreed to take her shopping! Am I a moron or have I lost all sense of everything?
As I'm thinking this, I'm picking up Lauryn and putting her on a table. "I gotcha," I said.
"So what are you going to do now that you have me?" she asked. Hmm...there are a number of things I could do, but I'd get arrested for doing them in public. So I just settled on making out with her.
Okay, I'm going to be daring. I'm doing it. I'm being daring. I'm going to try to put my hand on her breast. I'm going to do it. I put my hands around her waist, then starting moving up. This is a big deal for me. I'm actually on a third date and I haven't slept with her yet, so I'm just wondering if she wanted me to do anything with her. Was she going to slap me? I hope she wasn't going to slap me. She had no reason to slap me. If she can call me baby, I can touch her breasts.
Okay, the hand is on the breast. What do I do now? Is she going to let me do anything else? I stuck my other hand on her leg. Okay, I'm not going to do any more. We're in public and it's my first time trying anything with her, I'll leave it at that. Score! Well, not really, but I don't know how long it'll be before I could do anything to her.
"Okay, let's go," she said, pulling away. I didn't want to go.
"I don't want to," I said, looking in her eyes. Oh, I could so win her over right now. I opened my eyes wide and let them fill up. "Let's just stay a little longer." She put her arms around my neck.
"You look so cute...but no. I want to go. We only have a day and there's a lot of things to do."
"Well, not really."
"You're just lazy. Let's go." She pushed me off her. She went down the boardwalk, towards the amusement park that looked over the water from the Santa Monica Pier.
"We can do all the rides and stuff now if you want, and then we'll go somewhere else, but we should come back for the sunset. It's extraordinary."
"Well, I want to do the roller coaster first," she said, taking off her skates and putting back on her shoes. I sat down on a bench and did the same.
"I should have known. Now are you going to make me ride it until I throw up or what?"
"We'll see. If it's good, yes." She ran off to the Park. "Come on, slowpoke. I don't want you holding me back all day." She grabbed my hand and we ran off to the roller coaster. After we rode it once, she pulled me somewhere else.
I was enjoying myself. The park was fun and she was varying between the rides and the games so I wouldn't get sick. The most fun, though, was actually being with her. She was so happy and cheerful that she brought a smile to my face and it wouldn't go away! I couldn't believe this! As the day went on my smile didn't fade, it remained as I trailed slightly behind her.
"Baby? It's almost two; do you want to stop for lunch? I think we did all I really wanted to do," she asked me, stopping near the front of the park. "Is there anything you want to do before we go?"
"No," I said. "I've been here enough times. I just want you to have fun today. We can go over to the Promenade for lunch; they have some nice places to eat."
"All right. Where is it?"
"It's not far, but I'd prefer to talk the car." I turned towards the boardwalk and we began to walk back to the beaches.
"Maybe after lunch we could come back here and just hang for a bit before doing something else," she suggested.
"Well, I was thinking about going to Beverly Hills. I know you want to shop today and there's no place better than Rodeo Drive."
"No, you are not taking me to Rodeo Drive," she said, surprised.
"Well, yeah. You're a chick who likes to shop."
"I don't have any money, Zac."
"Um, duh! Rich, famous guy here," I said, trying not to sound snobby but I couldn't think of anything else. "I'm not taking you to a whole street of stores and expect you to pay you yourself."
"Zac, you're the best."
"I know. I'm perfect. I'm the best, I'm the greatest, I know." I put my arm around her waist. "Are you an artsy person?"
"No, not really."
"Ugh, you suck. There's so much art here that I'd like you to see, but we can skip it." Damn! They added a new wing to the museum that I wanted to see, but it'd have to wait until the next time I come here.
"Is there something you want to see?" she asked. I shook my head. I didn't want to drag her to something she didn't want to see. We got to the car. I drove over to the Third Street Promenade. "So, where are we going?"
"That one over there has music, so let's go there." She smiled and nodded, but seemed less than enthused. She didn't like music? What kind of teenage girl doesn't like music? What the hell? "It has really good food too."
"Okay."
We found a table outside, far enough away from the band to talk without them being overbearing, but close enough to still understand it. After we ordered, my cell phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Zac? Where the hell are you?" Isaac asked. "I have a big problem."
"I'm out with Lauryn. Why? What's going on?"
"Is Taylor with you?"
"No."
"Shit. He's gone. He was supposed to show up in the studio but he didn't come. He was upset last night and now we can't find him anywhere. I called Mom and she hasn't seen him. He's not home; no one knows where he is. His car is still at home but he's not. His phone and his pager and both off and at home."
"Ike, I'm sure he's around," I said. He probably wasn't, knowing the mood he had been in lately. I don't know why he hadn't showed up, though.
"I don't know, Zac, but I need your help to find him." I stopped myself from laughing.
"Um, I can give you my advice but that's pretty much it," I said.
"No, I need your help to look for him."
"Ike, I'm in Los Angeles right now with Lauryn. There is absolutely no way I can get back there to help you look for him. You'll just have to do it yourself. Now Taylor is twenty years old, Ike, he can take care of himself."
"No, it's not that he can't take care of himself, it's that he isn't in the studio. He's been saying lately that he wants to quit the band and now he's disappeared."
"I don't know, Ike. I don't know. He's not my responsibility to keep track of. Maybe he's finally looking for a place of his own, I don�t know. He'll show up. He's not going to quit the band because he knows how much we need him right now."
"But..."
"Ike I'm four hours away! I can't just run over there and help you. He'll turn up. Just wait. I'll be back later. If he doesn't show up by tomorrow, I'll help you look for him."
"I'm just worried, that's all."
"I understand. I'm worried about him too but he's pulled shit like this before and he always shows up in a day or two."
"Tell that to Mom; she's about to have a heart attack."
"Tell her to calm down. We'll find him. Now I'll see you later."
"Okay. Whatever." I hung up the phone and sat back in my chair. God, why did Taylor always have to do stuff like this? Now I'll be worried sick about him. I know he's twenty and I know I said all that stuff to Isaac but Taylor isn't like this. Sure he's disappeared before but he's never blown off studio work like this. He loves what he's doing, why the hell was he fucking everything up, one week before we wee to leave on promotional tours?
"Is everything all right?" Lauryn asked. I looked over at her. Could I tell her? Well, yeah. This is Lauryn, if she's going to be my new girlfriend then she might as well find out my life.
"No. My brother Taylor has been a bitch lately. He's been saying he wants to quit the band and now he didn't show up at the studio and no one can find him. It's not like him to do stuff like this."
"It'll be all right, you said so yourself," she said, her words clashing with her squeaky voice.
"No, that was just to calm my brother down; he was practically screaming frantically in my ear. I'm just as worried as he is."
"Do you want to go back home?" she asked. I shook my head.
"No."
After we ate our food, I was still thinking about Taylor. What the hell was he thinking, running off like that? Nobody knows where he is and he took nothing with him. There's no way we can reach him and we have no idea where to look.
But damn, I wish I could do that. Escape by myself and take no contact with me. If I find him, though, I'm going to hurt him. He's scaring the shit out of our mother and worrying the rest of us. I don't care if he's twenty or not, he's still not where he's supposed to be.
I took Lauryn to Rodeo Drive. I know I must be crazy for taking miss cheerleader to Rodeo Drive to use my money to shop, but what the hell? I might as well spend it on her if I'm not going to spend it on myself.
"Okay, Lauryn, I'm going to let you go crazy," I said. "You can't go super crazy, but you can go crazy." She looked up at me wide-eyed. "What?"
"You're telling me to go crazy. Me, go crazy on Rodeo Drive. You are actually letting me buy stuff with your money?"
"Yes."
"Zac, this is our third date."
"So?"
"There needs to be more people like you in the world. Oh my God, where do I start?" she asked, brushing her hair out of her face.
"I'll have to buy you a suitcase too because I don't think they'll you with a thousand shopping bags on the plane."
"Please tell me you're grossly exaggerating and that you won't actually let me buy a thousand things, because I will."
"Quit worrying, Lauryn. I'll let you know if you're spending too much."
"And you'll pull me away if I start whining, right? We'll go right home, right?"
"Yup. Now start. I know shopping takes a long time." I pushed her towards the closest store.
Well, I may have wanted her to see the sunset, but it turned out we ended up shopping (I only say we because I was buying it all) until the stores closed. As we walked back outside, I realized that night had fallen. "Oh, damn, we missed the sunset," I said. I did want her to see it. Well, too late now.
"Yeah, I wanted to see it." She shivered. "It's getting cold out here." I took her bags from her hand and gave her my jacket. She didn't do too badly; she barely bought anything. I think it was because she wasn't comfortable using my money to buy things, for whatever reason.
"Is there anywhere else you want to go?" I asked her.
"Not really. I'm actually kind of tired."
"Yeah, well, looking through racks of clothes can really tired a person out," I said.
"No, I've been walking all day! I'm tired now. When are we going home?" she asked.
"The flight is at eleven." She was going to whine, I could sense it. She was going to start whining. Oh God, plug the ears�
"Zac, I don't know if I could make it to eleven." Hmm... "I don't want to be a bother, but I don't think I can stay up until them." Hmm...she's asking to stay the night with me. I could take this more than one way. But I won't. She's just tired.
"Well, I have somewhere we can go," I said. "We don't have to leave tonight."
"Where can we go?"
"I have a home here. My family lives here about half the year, so we bought a house. I have a key and we can stay there tonight, catch a flight in the morning."
"Really? Thanks, I'm exhausted." We got into the car and I drove to my home just outside of LA, and was surprised to find a light on. I wonder if someone left the light on since the last time we were here, a month or two ago.
After I parked, I unlocked the front door and went inside. I heard the TV on in the living room. "Stay here for a minute," I said, pushing her back against the front door.
"Why?"
"Cause the TV's on, I'm going to see who's here."
"There's somebody here? Who would be here?" I shrugged. I walked into the living room. The TV was on but there was no one there. I heard a cabinet close in the kitchen. I walked to the kitchen, prepared to beat up whoever was in there.
I walked into the kitchen as Taylor turned around. I jumped back and he dropped the glass he was holding onto the ground. It shattered against the floor and water and glass spilled all over the floor.
"Goddammit Zac, look what you made me do! What the hell are you doing here?"
"I'd ask you the same thing!" Taylor looked down at the mess on the floor. "I'm here with Lauryn."
"You know you're cleaning this up." He turned around and left the room out the other entrance. I jumped over the mess and followed him.
"Taylor, Ike called me and told me that you didn't show up at the studio this morning. I know we had the day off but he had some important stuff to do with you. Everyone's worried and pissed off at you. What are you doing here?"
"I came here to get away from everybody and obviously it's not working. I just needed some time to myself, I'll be fine."
"Taylor, we all need time to ourselves, but running off without saying anything to anybody is not the way to do it. Everybody's worried sick that something happened to you."
"Zac? Is everything all right?" Lauryn asked, walking into the room.
"Yeah," I said, turning to her. "I'll show you to a room, but I still have to talk to Taylor." I looked at Taylor. "Stay here."
I went upstairs with Lauryn, leading her down the hall to a room. "This is my room, you can sleep here and I'll go down the hall. I'll stop by later but right now I have to scream at my brother."
"Okay." She went inside. I ran back downstairs. Taylor was now in the living room watching television. Now what can I do about this? I couldn't just yell at him, he'd run away again. I sounded like I was talking to a child instead of my twenty-year-old brother.
I walked into the living room and shut off the television. "Taylor, you really need to get whatever the hell is up your ass about this music thing out. We go on promotional tours next week and I know it's the worst part of our career, but you have to come."
"No, I don�t." He grabbed the remote off the table and turned the TV back on. I shut it off again and stood in front of the sensor so he couldn't turn it back on again.
"Taylor, you can't just leave like this in the middle of everything."
"Um, I think I just did." I gave him a blank look. "Zac, I've been doing the same thing now at twenty that I did when I was thirteen. I need to grow up; so do you. Cut your hair."
"There's nothing wrong with the length of my hair! And we're not talking about me, we're talking about you and the fact that you're a prick by leaving your two brothers high and dry. Taylor, you are the band. You sing lead on ninety percent of all our songs."
"Yeah, but you write them all! None of the songs Ike and I write ever make it on the album. Now I don't know who you're fucking to get that, cause most of the people who decide that are guys...wait, you're not gay, are you?" What? Oh, that was a total dis on my manhood right there.
"No, I'm not gay and I'm not fucking anybody! You're just pissed off because none of the songs you write are good enough to make it on the album!"
"Excuse me? Was that a put-down on my writing skills? Who was the one who wrote the biggest hit of our career?"
"All three of us!"
"What ever happened to that anyway? That was when writing was actually fun."
"You know what happened to that? We got into drugs and you and Ike completely shunned me. It was like I wasn't even your brother anymore! I started writing by myself because if I even opened my mouth I'd either get slapped across the face or thrown out of the room." I remember that time, when we were at the height of our using. I'd get beat up and slapped and hurt just about every day. Everyday I had a new bruise somewhere. It was hard to believe my brothers actually did that to me. I'm still afraid of them when they get mad at me, especially Ike. He was the worst�he knew how to hit and how to make it hurt the most. Taylor was the one who'd use stuff other than his fists, but I'd rather not get into that right now. My hand grazed over the rib he'd broken once. Taylor was the only one who actually went as far as breaking bones. Yeah, I'd get treated and all, but I still played shows with cracked ribs and broken fingers. Now I know how to stand up to the both of them, but there's always that vision in the back on my mind of Taylor's clear blue eyes flashing with a terrible rage that came from a needle inserted into his arm.
"Taylor," I said, trying to clear my mind from the subject of my past experiences, "stop doing this to us."
"I just don't like the way things are right now. You write, I sing, Ike edits. We're not a team anymore. I want to go back to the way things were."
"When?"
"In the beginning, before everyone joined us on the tour, before we got involved in drugs, just before everything. I want to go back to when it was all about the music and how great that life was."
"But Taylor, we're different now. Sticking you and Ike together to write a song is like purposely blowing a nuclear bomb in enemy territory. You two don't agree on anything anymore when it comes to writing a song. That's one of the reasons I took over. We can't just lock ourselves in the garage and jam for hours anymore. Ike's married now and we've stopped loving what we do. We're thinking of music as a job instead of a way of life because we've been distracted. We've had our share of downs and I'm sure there's more to come, but Taylor, this is our life. So what if we've done the same thing for seven years straight, it's making money. We still have fans."
"I don't want fans."
"Dude, now you sound like a baby. I know you still love performing, you're just sick of routine. If you want we can push back the tour and take a break. We can disappear for a while before we go on the road." Taylor sighed. He was completely burnt out; I knew the feeling. "We can take a break, you know."
"Maybe that's what I need."
"So are you going home?" I asked. He nodded. "Good. Now I have to go upstairs and make sure my girlfriend's still awake."
"How's it going with you two?" he asked.
"Surprisingly well. We've been together all day and haven't yelled at each other. I just hope the good mood will last."
"Yeah, me too. I don't want you taking it out on me." I smiled and ran back up the stairs.