So this chick is supposed to be wearing a black skirt and a red shirt. Everyone's wearing a black skirt and red shirt! What the hell? If she doesn't find me soon, I'm going home. I don't need to be worked up about this.
"Zac?" I spun around. There stood a chick with a red shirt and a black skirt. Is this Lauryn?
"Yes. Are you Lauryn?"
"Yeah." I should have known. Her voice was a dead give away. Well, the package seemed to outweigh the intelligence (in which I'm sure she had none). I tend to go for brain over body, but she did have a nice body. If I wasn't trying to change, I'd just take her home for a fuck and get rid of her, but I'm trying to change.
"So are we going to a movie or what?" Excuse me?
"Don't act like I'm doing you a favor, because I can leave at any time," I said. I probably shouldn't have, but I didn't like her attitude.
"I'm already starting to like you." Oh, God no...I decided against telling her that. I didn't like her at all. She was rude and stupid, and already she was acting all 'I'm hot and I know it so you can drool if you don't mess up my makeup.' The only thing keeping me here was the thought of going home and the only person there was Nic.
"What do you want to see?" I asked. She lightly shrugged and walked to the board that showed what was playing. I watched her walk in front of me (yes, I'm a pervert, I know). Where are her curves? How long did she not eat to get rid of them? I mean, where are her hips? A girl has to have hips. She doesn't even have a butt! I like butts! Okay, that body she had isn't so great from behind.
"Are you staring at my ass?" she asked.
"What ass?" I said, then put my hand over my mouth. I wasn't supposed to say that!
"What'd you say?" she asked, turning around. Oh good, I thought. She didn't hear that.
"Nothing," I said, and smiled. She gave me a look.
"Whatever," she said, complete with the 'W' made from her fingers. I chose to ignore the gesture and the fact that tonight was going to be hell. "How about that one?" she asked. "I've been wanting to see it."
That actually sounded intelligent! Now if she'd only keep it up all night. "Sure." I didn't really want to see it, but for some reason I was afraid she'd throw a tantrum if I didn't agree. I didn't want to walk out on her if she was on the floor kicking and screaming. That'd be pretty funny to watch, though.
As we walked through the line, we started to talk. Well, truthfully, she talked and I feigned interest. She was going on and on about some friend of hers. I couldn't understand half the shit she was saying because she wasn't making any sense at all.
I wonder if she'll notice if I buy a ticket for another movie, I thought. I better not, she'll whine. I know this type of girl; Taylor had a thing for one a year or two ago. She wasn't as annoying as this, though.
"Zac? Zac?" I heard my name and looked over. "You said you were driving me home, right?"
I guess I am now! "Yeah," I said. I didn't remember agreeing to that, but whatever floats her boat. I bought our tickets and we walked into the theater. She continued to talk about whatever the hell was so important that she had to tell me about in detail. I don't think I've ever heard the words 'like' and 'whatever' used so much in that context before.
So I wasn't having fun. It's not like she's being rude anymore! Well, maybe she was. I stopped listening after 'so, anyway...' But she seems a lot better if you block out that hideously annoying voice. Hey, if ignoring her goes well, I might even consider going out with her again. Maybe.
She still hadn't shut up when we got into the movie. I bought her the candy she insisted on having on (three dollars down the drain because she's probably just going to throw it up later). As we sat down and the movie started, I was waiting for her to shut up. But no, she had to finish her story. She did begin to whisper, but I actually wanted to know what this movie was about without her voice yapping my ear off. I actually began to wonder if my ear could fall off. It wouldn't be nice because she'd freak out and start screaming and my other ear would fall off...hey maybe it'd get her out of my way for a while. I could sit back and enjoy the movie and eat her candy, but then there'd be the task of putting my ears back on. That would be a bitch.
Okay, I need to shut her up. I didn't want to do this, but I leaned over and pressed my lips against hers. If we were making out, I could still think about other stuff and I wouldn't have to worry about my ears falling off.
Before she knew it, but what seemed like hours to me, the movie was over. That meant the date was over! I was not about to take her anywhere else. If she wanted dinner, she could go home and make something for herself. I just wanted to get home and get away from her.
I got up and she followed me out of the theatre. "You are taking me somewhere else, you know," she said.
"No, I'm not."
"Excuse me?" I turned around and looked at her. She had her hand on her hip (or lack there of), giving me a look to kill.
"Listen, you've been rude and bitchy all night. Do you actually think I want to be with you any longer?" I asked, reaching my limit.
"But you, in there..."
"I was trying to shut you up! My God, you do not stop talking! If you would just shut up you'd be so much better! There was more than one time tonight I was just going to leave you here. I'm doing you a favor taking you home."
"Trust me, I don't need you doing anything for me. I can have anyone I want."
"Then you can find another way home." I turned around and began to walk away. I felt bad. Sure, it was good to finally say that to her; she deserved to be put in her place, but I felt bad. I was her ride home. I turned back around. She was looking down at the ground, a hint of tears in her eyes. Ugh, I thought. "Okay, come on. I'll drive you home." Her face brightened and she smiled as she walked up to me.
"Thank you."
"I'm still mad at you."
"What do you have against me? I've been having a great time until now."
"That's because you're acting all high and mighty on me and I've been taking it until now."
"How?"
"Asking me to take you home? I'm fine with it, but you didn't ask me. You demanded that I take you home."
"I did not!"
"Well you put me on the spot! Oh, take me home, buy my ticket, buy my candy that you didn't even eat! What the hell do you want me to do, tie your shoes and chew your food for you?" Her look of disgust slightly amused me, but I was still pissed off. "I don't want to be here. I don't want a relationship. I don't want a girlfriend. I don't want to date someone as superficial as you."
"Superficial? I am not superficial!"
"You don't even know what superficial means! Now move so I can take you home and get you out of my sight!"
"What makes you think that I still want to go home with you?"
"You're not going home with me. You are a getting a ride in my car to your home, where I will drop you off then go to my home. I wouldn't go home with you if I was desperate."
"Are you?" she asked, a hint of a smile on her face.
"No! I'm not! Take a cab home, all right? I'm leaving. You are not worth the extra gas I'm wasting." I turned and walked out of the theatre. Okay, so maybe I'm being a bastard, but she's a bitch! I did not want to drive her home is she would continue to act like that.
I went to my car and drove away. I actually drove away! But I couldn't get out of the parking lot without guilt washing over me. I drove back to the front of the theatre where she was standing.
"Get in," I said, opening the door. She got in the car and I drove off again. The ride home was rather silent, especially compared to the movie line where she wouldn't shut up. I turned on the radio, just to break the silence. The only words passed were her directions home.
As I pulled up to the large house, she spoke to me. "I do want to see you again." For some reason, so did I. I actually liked bickering.
"Me too," I said. "I'm sorry for yelling at you."
"Well I shouldn't have been so horrible towards you. I think we should start over."
"Sure."
"How about Saturday? We could do something then." I nodded.
"I'm in the studio until four, we could do something after then."
"Call me."
"All right." She leaned over and kissed my cheek. "See you later." She smiled and got out of the car. I waited until she was inside before driving away.
"So, how'd it go?" Taylor asked. He was waiting for me in my room. I dropped my keys on the table.
"How long have you been waiting in here?" I didn't like people in my room to begin with. He probably had been poking around where he shouldn't. Did I lock my chest with my paintings? I usually do...
"About ten minutes. So, how did it go? Tell me everything."
"You're worse than the girls, Taylor." He shrugged. "Not much happened. She was rude, I made out with her just to shut her up."
"You made out with her?"
"Then I yelled at her. I think I caused a scene, but I don't think anyone there recognized who I was so it wasn't a big deal."
"You yelled at her? Why?"
"Because she was being a total bitch at me. She's annoying and rude and she needed to be put in her place. I was going to leave her there, but I felt bad and went back to pick her up."
"Are you going out with her again?"
"Yeah," I said, smiling. "Saturday."
"You know we're in the studio remixing the single on Saturday. And did you finish your thank-yous? Cause those are supposed to be in tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? I thought they were due Friday!" I said.
"Tomorrow is Friday, you idiot. Let me guess, you didn't do it. Well, someone's going to be up all night," he said, getting up and leaving the room. I groaned and looked at the clock. Ten?! I have to be up and at the studio at seven, and now I had to write my thank-yous, which I hadn't even started.
I grabbed some paper and a pen and sat down at my desk. Who was I going to thank? I made a short list of people�everyone who helped out with the album, the record executives at our label, my brothers, my family, the band, the fans. I wanted to thank all the girls. I didn't know why I wanted to introduce them to the world, but I felt like I needed to thank them.
I began writing. It was sloppy and I was probably forgetting so many people, but eventually I'd do it over again. I really wanted to work on that painting. I finally pinpointed how I was going to make Nic's face, but I had to sit and write thank-yous.
At three o'clock, I was finished. It was the right number of words, if anything it was on the long side, and I covered everything and everyone I wanted to. Now all I had to do was make sure it was all right.
Once again I find myself the number one procrastinator�waiting until the very last minute to write my thank-yous. But, then again, I could have sworn I had all week to do this. I'll start off with the label. Thanks to everyone who believed in us and knew we'd make it from the very beginning. You've been with us through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Maybe this is another high in the roller coaster of our career.
Next to the studio and the band, the people who help make the music happen. Scott, Anthony, Andrew, our back-up band, thanks for putting up with us; we know we're a bitch in the morning, especially when you guys drink all the coffee! To my brothers, the guys who know exactly what I'm going through because we're in it together. We're getting better with each other every day. We know more about each other and what it means to truly hate and love each other. I hope we never make a copy of last year, and hopefully not of the year before. To my family, thanks...thanks for just being there. I know I'm a lot to handle, especially during the tour, but you've always supported me through my good, bad, and really, really bad decisions. (There's a couple in each category.) To the fans, you're the soul base of why I still can be here. You're the reason for everything, and I'm deeply grateful for every one of you, no matter how many or how few of you there are.
And finally, to the girls. The biggest fans and my best friends. I hope to see you all next year. Darling, don't keep Isaac away from the studio for too long! I know you'll make a wonderful wife. Michelle, you've been the best friend anyone could ever have. From the time I met you as a small child, you've been by my side through thick and thin. I love you immensely and I could only wish that we could stay like this for the rest of our lives. Hell, I know we will. Taurii, yeah, so I don't know you as well as the others (hint, hint, wink, wink) but I know you're still the "best." Rachel, the Queen of Talk, I'll never let your secret out and I'll always confide in you. Amber, yeah I haven't forgotten about you! I still love you and I'll always remember you. I won't always like you, but I'll always love you. And finally, to Nic. I don't know what to say to you. I loved you and I miss you and how did we get here? We always used to talk and nothing else mattered, but as I'm writing this you're sleeping in the next room, not next to me. Now I feel like I can't even say hello to you. But tomorrow is another day...
That was a tidbit personal. I wasn't quite sure that I wanted everyone to know about Nic, but I really felt like I needed to say that to her. I knew I'd never get up enough guts to say it to her in person, so this would have to do.
I got up and got out my canvas stand and all my materials. I still remembered what I wanted to do, luckily. I'm not one known to remember things (especially the important ones). But I remembered, so I could sketch it out on canvas.
I always started whatever I was drawing in pencil. I don't know why I did it, but it helped me out when I wasn't quite sure how to color it in yet.
I sketched out her hands first, gripping and grasping her face that looked directly at you, her bright eyes piercing deep within you so you could feel her pain. Her wispy hair, that fell in long sections over her hands and face accented her perfectly.
"Zac, honey, are you still awake?" Mom asked, lightly knocking on my door. What was she doing up? She needed to sleep more than I did.
I got up and opened the door. Mom was standing in her nightgown and her robe, a cup of water in her hands. "Mom, what are you doing up?"
"Zo� had a nightmare. She's in my room with your father right now. I got her some water. Why are you still awake? You know you have to be in the studio by seven."
"I know. I was just working on something."
"Thank-yous?" I shook my head.
"I finished those already. I was working on something else. It's been bugging me all day and I needed to get it out before I forgot."
"What is it?" This was my mother. I could tell her, right? Mom and I never really spent time together, and I always hated that.
"A painting."
"A painting? I didn't know you still did that."
"Yeah, I've been doing a lot lately. If you want, you could come in and see them." She smiled.
"All right. Let me give Zo� her water and I'll be right back." I left the door open for her and sat back down in front of my portrait. It'd be finished soon. The next month would be pretty tight in schedule, with the album done and the last thing to do was put in the thank-yous. We'd go on a lot of promotional shows and interviews. I hated that part of my career. Making a video was fine, but my favorite part was the tour. Not just because of the girls, but the rush of being live. You're exposed; everything's so hyper and happy. The pain of the world goes away and you can just be you in front of your admirers. Everything's about the music and playing, having thousands of people sing along to something you created�it's a high that no drug can reach.
Mom came back in my room, shutting the door behind her. "I'm sure you love this, having your own room and your privacy."
"Yeah, it's really nice. I don't have to listen to Taylor snoring every night." She walked over. I stood and let her sit down on my chair, then leaned over her shoulder. "This one's not done yet. I've been working on it for about half a year now. I'm really proud of it so far."
"Zac, I had no idea you could paint like this," Mom said. Her shocked expression was enough of a compliment for me.
"Neither did I. Then I just started drawing everywhere, wherever I could get space. After a while I discovered I could use canvas and I started drawing whatever I felt."
"Explain this one to me."
"Well, this one is based on something that really happened. I did a lot of research and found out everything here. This is Nic, the day she left the tour last year. She didn't want to leave but she did anyway. So she's here, all upset because I found out something I wasn't supposed to, I got mad, broke up with her and she left. But I was just mad; I didn't really want to break up with her. So Darling told me she was leaving and I ran out to get here but she was already hone. See, that's me back here," I said and pointed out the back window of the taxicab.
"Why don't you have a face?"
"Because I haven't drawn it yet. I told you, it's not done."
"Oh." Mom smiled. "Honey, this is brilliant."
"I've done some other stuff too, you know. I've got a lot of completed work I can show you. This one I just happened to be working on when you stopped by."
"Well I want to see." I brought out a lot of my work for her to see. "Why the padlock on the chest?"
"I really wanted this to be a secret. See, with all this stuff I'll be able to do a show at the Chicago Museum."
"A show? So you're making this a profession?" she asked.
"No, just a side hobby. I'm doing this when I'm off of music or have some extra time. My exposition is on a day off, so it won't interfere."
"That's great. I'm so proud of you honey!" I smiled. That was the reaction I had only dreamed of.