After everyone left, the doctor came in. “Hi,” I said. “What’d you find out?”
“Everything’s just fine. Zac, you can go home tomorrow.”
“Oh, good,” Zac said.
“But you’ll have to stay off your feet for at least a week. No drums for at least a week and a half. You need to get completely better before you can go back and play in front of people for three hours.”
“Oh, alright. That sucks.”
“Yeah, it does, but I don’t want you to push yourself too much. You could end up right back here. I’ll go now. See you tomorrow before you leave.” He walked out of the room.
“Are you excited? You get to leave tomorrow.” I asked.
“Yeah, I guess I am. I'm not quite ready for it. It’s almost time for me to go to sleep and I’m leaving when I wake up.”
“You look tired, too. Everyone stayed longer than I thought they would. You look like you’re ready to crash right now.”
“I am.”
"Then go to sleep, baby. You got a big day tomorrow."
“So do you.”
“I haven’t been confined to a hospital bed for the past five days. Go to sleep, honey.”
“I want to talk to you.”
“About what?” I asked.
“Are you so sure about this?” he asked. “Leaving Taylor and staying with me? I’m not much fun lately. We can’t go anywhere for a while.”
“Zac, I don’t care about going anywhere. I love you. I want to be with you. If it’s taking care of you in a hotel bed, then that’s what it’ll be. At least there I can sleep next to you every night.”
“True,” he said with a smile. His face clouded over with thought. “Wait. You’re not going to have to help me shower, will you?”
“How the hell do you expect to stand up in a shower and clean yourself? Of course I’m going to help you.”
“No you’re not.”
“God, Zac, you act as if I’ve never seen you naked before.”
“Yeah, but the situation was different. No, you’re not going to do it. I’ll be dirty and disgusting until I can do it myself.”
“I’ll draw you a bath, okay?”
“No, you can’t even draw a straight line, how are you supposed to draw me a bath?” I gave him a look.
“You know what I mean.”
“Fine. I’ll do the bath thing, but could you do something for me?”
“What?”
“Get me a rubber ducky and lots of Mr. Bubble?” I giggled.
“Sure,” I said. “Now will you go to sleep? I don’t want you tired tomorrow.”
“Okay. Goodnight, Nic.”
“Goodnight, Zac.” I kissed him and he went to sleep. After an hour or so, I gathered my things together and headed out the door. I stopped off at the front counter. “I’m heading out, watch over him for me,” I told the nurse I spoke to every night. She nodded.
“See you in the morning.”
I walked out of the room and to Taylor’s car. I really hoped he didn’t need his car this past week. After getting Zac’s rubber ducky and Mr. Bubble at the store, I went back to the hotel. I was tired, surprisingly.
Well, I thought to myself, after tomorrow it’ll be all over. I adjusted the bag in my hands and unlocked the door to the room I will no longer be sharing with Taylor. Oh God, Taylor. How would I tell him this? When I got into the room, he was awake and hoping it was me to come through the door.
“Is he okay?” Taylor asked, not skipping a beat. It was the spark in his eyes that made me not want to leave him. I didn’t want to tell him at all. I just wanted everything to finally be all right. Would it be all right?
“He’s great. He’s coming home tomorrow.” I looked at the clock. It was nearing four. Taylor must have waited up for me. “What are you doing up, honey?”
“It’s been a week and I haven’t seen you. I miss you, Nic.” I felt so bad. I’ve been spending every possible moment with Zac, getting him better and having him comfortable that I forgot all about myself and Taylor.
“I miss you too.” I walked over and put my arms around him. “You know, when he comes home tomorrow he’s kicking Lauryn out of his room. He’s breaking up with her completely.” I saw all hope vanish from Taylor’s eyes.
“Are you...” I nodded.
“Yeah, I’m going in his room tomorrow.”
“But...I just got you back.” I sat on top of him on the bed. “You can’t leave yet.”
“You knew I’d have to eventually.” I put my hands lightly on the sides of his face and kissed him. “I do love you, Taylor.”
“I love you too.” I kissed him again. “When do you go back to the hospital?” he asked.
“In two hours.”
“Was it like this every night?” I nodded. “When do you sleep?”
“I got my two hours here. It was enough to give me energy to take care of him during the day. You should have come to visit, babe! He would have loved to see you.”
“It’s too late now.”
“You can come with me tomorrow,” I said.
“No, tomorrow is you’re day. I don’t want to mess anything up on your day.” I smiled. “What?”
“Tomorrow’s my day with Zac, but tonight I’m all yours.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“You waited up for me. You shouldn’t have, but you waited for me. It’s our night together. Whatever you want to do, I’ll do it.” His eyes widened.
“Whatever I ask?”
“Whatever.”
“Anything?”
“Anything.”
“Like, if I asked you to have sex with me, you’d do it? Just like that, no regrets?” he asked.
“Just like that.” He had to sit back and think about it.
“I don’t know if I should have sex with you, Nic. Knowing you never wanted to before...”
“Taylor, I love you.”
“That’s enough for me!”
It was two hours later when I got ready to leave. Neither Taylor nor I could sleep after what we did. I never imagined sex to be that...that beautiful. I mean the way Zac did it and the way Taylor did it--it was two different things. Zac was more energetic, more into the sex part. But Taylor, he had his heart in it. He didn’t fuck, he didn’t screw or nail or any of that. He actually made love. He put the romanticism in it. Zac—I always said that Zac and I had made love, but this had so much more loving than that. That, what Taylor and I did, was make the most beautiful love a person could imagine.
“I have to go now,” I whispered. “I want to be there when he wakes up and he wakes up early.”
“You’ll come back, right?”
“Yeah, I’ll be back when he’s breaking up with Lauryn. I’ll get my stuff and say goodbye.”
“Ugh,” he said. “Goodbye. Goodbye sucks.” I kissed him.
“I’ll be back, sweetie.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
“Get some sleep. I’ll wake you up when I come back.” I kissed him again. “Promise me you’ll sleep?”
“I promise.”
“I’ll be here to wake you up.” I grabbed his keys from the table. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” I went out the door, wrapping my leather coat around myself. It was cold out. It’s summer! It’s not supposed to be this cold. I sighed. It’d get warmer as the day started. I really didn’t go out during the day, though. The moon would still be out when I got there, and I left the hospital around ten.
I got to the hospital at six. I went inside and first got a cup of coffee. I said hello to the nurses and doctors I’d grown accustomed to over the past week. They were already there when I got there, and they were just leaving when I left.
I walked down the hallway to Zac’s room. I opened the door and went inside. He was asleep; he always was. I sat down and looked through a magazine I’d just bought the previous night. I went through at least six a day, reading it cover to cover.
I glanced in the bag I’d taken from the car. Lying on top was the book Taylor read every day. He’d just gotten it when the tour started about a month ago, but he’d read it so many times it looked years old. The pages were spread and yellowing from being held for so long. I glanced at my magazine. How to improve you sex life My sex life was just fine, thankyouverymuch Cosmopolitan. I put the magazine on the counter and grabbed the book from my bag.
It was surprisingly wonderful. From what I read it was beginning to be a wonderful love story between a young man and an older woman. Taylor? Reading a love story? Over and over again? I smiled. It was odd, but I was beginning to love it.
I’d read the first few chapters already when Zac woke up. I looked up and he was silently questioning the book in my hands.
“It’s Taylor’s.” He nodded.
“So, you’ve been reading Cosmopolitan?” Zac asked and grabbed the magazine of the counter. “ ‘Ten ways to make your guy surrender to you in bed.’ I’ve got to check this out.” I smiled as he flipped through the pages until he got to the article. His eyebrow rose in question. “Let me guess, a woman wrote this article?”
“Like I would actually try that with anyone anyway.” His eyes scanned over the words.
“That sounds like it would hurt,” he muttered. “This is a whole bunch of shit. These magazines are so stupid.” He turned the page. “They even have pictures? Are they even allowed to do that?”
“Apparently.” He made a face.
“The last time I checked my penis did not look like that!” he said. I burst out laughing. “Do they not even know what one looks like? What the hell is up with this magazine?”
“I think you should put it down before you give yourself another heart attack.” He put the magazine on the counter, looked at me, and then picked it up again.
“You shouldn’t be reading this. It’s not good for you and it’ll give you the wrong idea of what people’s bodies look like!” He threw the magazine in the trash.
“Okay. I’ll just read my book here.”
“What are you reading?” He snatched the book from my hands and looked at it.
“Zac! If you weren’t in the hospital I’d so beat your ass.” He looked at the cover.
“You know, the reason Taylor likes this story so much is because it’s about him.”
“No it’s not...”
“No, I swear! I’ve read it before, years ago on the Internet. It must have been changed because it’s not all the same names.”
“Who would have thought? So that’s why Taylor’s been reading this so much.”
“It’s really an excellent story. The girl who wrote it is really talented. It sold well despite the fact it’s about me and my brothers.” I looked over the book. From what I’ve read, it was an excellent story. “But not many people know that anyway. This one’s about Taylor, but there’s one about me and another about Isaac. I don’t know if those are out yet or not.”
“I’ll check for you.”
“I think I should be getting royalties or something for this.”
“Oh, like you don’t have enough money,” I said, taking the book back from him. “So, I told Taylor last night that I’m moving in with you.”
“How’d he take it?”
“Not well…but then again I didn’t expect him to. He’ll be all right, though. I’m going to miss being with him. He—he was something else.” Zac smiled. “But I’m looking forward to being with you again.”
“So am I. My life will be perfect once I get Lauryn on a flight far away from me and I get out of this damned place.”
“Hey, you should be out of here within the hour, honey.”
“It’s about time. I’m sick of this place.” He squirmed in his bed. “I can’t wait to be able to walk around without all these wires.”
“So you can go back to the hotel and sit there? You still can’t do much, Zac. You can walk around if you get restless, but you know I won’t let you do anything else.”
“Thank you, Nic. For taking care of me this past week. I’m sure you’d much rather be doing something else.”
“No, I really don’t.” He smiled warmly at me. “Plus, you’ve kept me entertained, Zac. When you’re asleep I’ve had my trashy magazines.”
“You’re ruined.”
“I know.” It was then when the doctor came in. I knew he was there to tell Zac he could go home.
“Hello Nic. Good morning, Zac. How are you feeling today?”
“Ready to go home.”
“Well then go home. You’re all set. I’ll get rid of all these wires, and you can pack up and go home.” The doctor removed all of Zac’s wires, then left.
“You brought me clothes, didn’t you?” he asked.
“Of course I did. I know how to take care of you.”
“Good. Now did you get me clothes I’ll actually wear?”
“You’ll have to see.”
“What the hell is this?”
After Zac got back to the hotel, I made sure he was okay before going to my room. I walked back into my room. It wasn’t going to be my room anymore. Sure, it changed everyday, but the one element that was making it my room was going to be gone.
“So this is really it?” Taylor asked. He was leaning against the wall and now looking at me. “Our plan worked.”
“Yeah. Zac is kicking Lauryn out right now. She’s going to stay with the girls until we can get her a flight back home. I’m going to start staying with him tonight.”
“That’s good. He really needs someone right now to help him out, and you’re the best person to do it.”
“But there’s a bit of a problem.”
“What?”
“I don’t want to go,” I said. Taylor walked over and put his arms around me. I began to cry. “Why does it always have to be so complicated? I’m finally getting what I want but I don’t want it anymore. I want to stay here with you.”
“You’re just confused, Nic. You don’t want to stay with me. You’ve been wanting Zac for so long you just can’t believe it’s finally working out for you.”
“No, I know what’s going on. I love you, Taylor. I don’t want to but I still do. I want to be with you.” I was telling him what he wanted to hear. Why was he saying this?
“No you don’t. You don’t want to be with me. You never wanted me. It’s always been about Zac. You love Zac in a way you’ll never love me. Now I want you to wipe those tears from your pretty little face and say goodbye.”
“But it’s not going to be goodbye. We still got half the tour left.”
“Goodbye to us.”
“Why are you saying all this? Don’t you want to be with me?”
“Of course I want to be with you! I want to be with you more than anything right now.”
“Then why are you pushing me to Zac?”
“Because I know you and me are a mistake. We’re not supposed together. The only reason for us is to torment the lives of other people. We’d never even think about being together if we didn’t need other people. But you and Zac, you two are the next Darling and Isaac.”
“Oh God…”
“That can be a good thing.” I smiled. “I can still make out with you between relationships, right?”
“In between yours or mine?” I asked.
“Yours.”
“Sure.” I stood on my toes and kissed him. As I did so, I heard the door open behind me. I didn’t care who it was. I knew it wasn’t Zac, he wasn’t supposed to be doing a lot of walking yet. “I’ll miss you,” I whispered.
“I’ll miss you more.”
“I love you.” I saw him smile and he kissed me again.
“I love you too.” I turned around to see who was at the door. It was Darling. That’s what I figured. She’d helped Zac throw Lauryn out because Zac couldn’t quite throw anything yet. He had a few more days before he got his strength back. It’d bee a week and a half before he could perform again.
“You two are just pulling my chain, right?” Darling asked. “I didn’t just hear what I think I heard, did I?”
“What do you think you heard?” I asked.
“Well I think I heard you two say you love each other, but that can’t be it...can it?”
“I think you heard right,” I said.
“Why?”
“Why what?” I asked. I walked over to my bag and started putting things in it.
“You know what. Why each other, why now? Why are you saying you love each other?”
“Because,” I said, “that’s how things work out. Don’t worry. I’m still going over to Zac’s.”
“Don’t do this to me, Nic. I just yelled at Lauryn for ten minutes while throwing her stuff in the girls’ room. Don’t make me think I made a mistake.”
“You got to yell at her? I wanted to yell at her!” I said. I put my bag on the bed and looked around. I was done. I had nothing else to pack, no reason to stay here any longer.
“Sorry,” Darling said. “You can still yell at her before she leaves.”
“Alright.”
“You ready to go?” she asked. “Zac’s waiting.”
“Okay.” Darling left the room. I walked over to Taylor and took him into a tight embrace.
“I love you and I wish I would have figured it out earlier,” I said.
“It’s okay, Nic. If you would have figured it out earlier you really wouldn’t want to leave and all our hard work would have gone to waste.”
“Tay, we didn’t do anything!”
“I did. I got Lauryn to sleep with me and I got Zac to find out. So I did something. You just sat there and looked pretty—which was enough to make Zac fall for you again.”
“I’m sorry it worked.”
“No you’re not. You’re glad it worked. You’re going to go down the hall and have the best Goddamn relationship ever with Zac. If you two every break up—which I hope is never—you know where to find me.”
“What, do you expect us to get married?” I asked.
“It’s a possibility. Darling and Isaac started at seventeen. You two just have one summer above them.”
“I don’t think I want to marry Zac. I need a few other people before I can do that.”
“That’s what the three other seasons are for. Hey, I’ll come see you in the winter.” I smiled, but it quickly faded. “Now you need to leave and forget about me so you can have fun with Zac.”
“I’ll try.”
“You better.” He kissed me. “Now go. And smile. He loves your smile.” I smiled. “I love it too.” He let go of me. I took my bag and headed to the door.
“Goodbye, Taylor.”
“Hey, you’re just going down the hall! I’m still going to see you. We can still talk. We just can’t be together.”
“Okay. See you.”
“Soon.” I left the room and walked down the hall. I felt tears well in my eyes and I had to stop halfway down the hall and cry before I could go into Zac’s room.
I got to Zac’s room and opened the door. He looked up and smiled. I’m sure he knew I’d been crying. I just hoped he didn’t mind.
“Hey you,” he said. I smiled back at him. I put my bag on the floor and nearly ran over to the bed. I jumped on it and flung my arms around him.
“Oh God I’ve missed you.”
The peaceful night was cool as Zac lead me around, his hands covering my eyes.
“Zac, where are we going? You should be back in the hotel resting. Are you walking? You shouldn’t be walking.”
“Nic shut up and let me do this, alright? I can’t stay in that bed anymore. I promise this won’t take long.”
“Well at least take your hands off my eyes. You know I hate surprises.”
“I know, but you’ll like this one.”
“How are you so sure about this?”
“Stop asking questions, Nic. We’re almost there.”
“Almost where? Where are we going, Zac?”
“I’m taking you back to the hotel. You’re being a pain in my ass.”
“No, I’ll be good.”
“Good.” He led me around. I had no idea where I was going, I didn’t know this city very well, but we’d taken a while to get there. He shouldn’t be out here like this; he’d been home for a day and already he was pulling this.
“Are we there yet?”
“Almost. Keep your pants on.”
“I don’t know. They have a tendency to fall off when I’m being impatient.” I heard him laugh. We continued to walk for another few minutes before he stopped.
“Okay, guess where we are.”
“Where are we?”
“You have to guess! It’s not hard.”
“Yeah, if you can see! Zac…”
“Guess!” I had absolutely no idea where we were. We could be anywhere from the top of the Sears Tower to the middle of the Rocky Mountains for all I knew.
“Well, we’re outside…” I started.
“Yeah. What do you hear?”
“Um, I hear the wind blowing through the trees, but I hear water. Are we at the beach? Since when are there trees at the beach?”
“Well, we’re not at the big beach with lots of sand and loud, crashing waves, but you’ve got the right idea.” Something popped into my mind. It was a long shot...but it was worth it.
“We’re at a dock with a picnic under the stars next to the water!”
“Damn, you’re good.” He dropped his hands from my eyes. I looked around. It was exactly like my dream, down to the same scenery and the same picnic basket.
“Oh, it’s beautiful! I love you Zac!” I threw my arms around him.
“How’d you know what it was?”
“Well, a few days before the tour started, I had a dream. It was this same exact thing. It popped into my head when you asked so I just figured I’d say it. I didn’t expect it to be true! Oh thank you Zac, you always know what I like.”
“Sit down, enjoy this, we can stay out all night if you’d like.” He sat down, pulling me down with him. It was so strange, me being there with him. In a week, I went from being in love with Taylor to forgetting about him and being with Zac night and day. I was happy. Finally, I was happy. Zac was healthy again, he was with me, and he hadn’t stopped smiling since he got here.
“So are we going to stay out here all night?” he whispered in my eyes, putting his arms around me. I put my toes in the cool water.
“Yeah.”
Everything was finally going to be all right...
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