"So, how was your first day of school?" Zac asked Ben the next evening over the phone. Zac hadn't even thought about his new school year until that morning when his mother woke him up, hearing that the public schools were having their first day, and told him they would be starting immediately. After what could only be described as his first day of hell, he realized that he wasn't too keen on finishing high school. As fun as a second year of calculus sounded, Zac was definitely not looking forward to the rest of his senior year.
"It was all right," Ben said. "I mean everybody was really nice and Nix introduced me to his school friends. Nobody seemed too uncomfortable that the new kid is gay, although I noticed some of the girls were kind of disappointed." Zac smiled.
"Well at least they're okay with it."
"Isn't Bronwyn a senior this year?"
"Yeah," Zac said, "but she doesn't go to Winfield. She goes to TC."
"TC?"
"Tulsa Catholic."
"Oh. I didn't know she was a catholic."
"She's not, but her parents are. She's been going to catholic school since kindergarten. It's not her first choice but she has a lot of friends that she's known forever, you know, that sort of thing," Zac explained. "How were your classes?"
"They were okay. Most of them seem like a complete waste of time, but I'm not so sure about Calc."
"Oh, you're in Calc?" Zac asked.
"Yeah."
"I took it last year."
"Really? How did you manage that?"
"I took Algebra One in eighth grade so in ninth grade I took Geometry, then Algebra Two, and last year I took AB Calc. I'm taking BC this year."
"Were you in AP?"
"Yeah, but I'm not going to college so I didn't really see a point in taking AP, but, you know, whatever," Zac said.
"You're not going to college?" Ben asked. "Why not?"
"Why should I?" Zac asked. "I mean I'm having a hard enough time even finishing high school. It's not like it's hard but sometimes there just isn't enough time for school, you know? I've got myself a career and I don't need an education for it. I'm just completing high school because I have to. If it were up to me I'd just drop out right now and get a GED but my mother would have a conniption."
"Oh come on, Zac, you're a smart guy. Why the hell wouldn't you go to college? What are you going to do after music?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well come on, you can't expect to do music for the rest of you life."
"Actually, I do expect to," Zac said. "Even if it's not recording with my brothers, I'm still going to be doing something musically, whether it be producing, writing, starting my own label or whatever, I'm still going to be doing it."
"All right, I was wrong. Never mind," Ben said.
"So what else are you taking?"
"You know, the basic stuff, physics, government, English�I've also taking art history and, um, music."
"Music?" Zac asked.
"Yeah, I needed to fill a credit."
"How was that?"
"It's okay. One of the requirements is that we have to learn an instrument by the end of the semester and I don't know how to play fricken anything."
"I'll teach you something," Zac said. "It'll give us a legitimate excuse to spend a lot of time together."
"Really? I don't know how good of an idea that would be�we might not get anything done." Zac smiled.
"Don't count on it, I'm a real tight ass when it comes to music. I'm actually kind of a bastard when it comes down to it, but�Ben? Are you still there?"
"I'm sorry," Ben said. "My mind started to wander after you mentioned your 'tight ass.' "
"Funny."
"Maybe we could do that, though," Ben said. "Even if you're not teaching me whatever it is I decide to learn, we can always say you are." Zac smiled. "We should go out this weekend."
"Yeah, we should," Zac said.
"Maybe we can see a movie or something."
"A movie?" Zac asked.
"Yeah. As friends who sit in the back corner and hold hands when we're sure nobody's looking," Ben said. Zac laughed. "I mean, we don't have to stay out all night or anything, we can come back to my place afterwards but we should still go."
"All right. When?"
"Friday?" Ben suggested.
"Sure."
"Great! It's a date." Just the thought of that made Zac smile. "I've got some homework to do, so I'll talk to you later, 'kay?"
"All right."
"Bye." Zac said goodbye and hung up the phone. He walked out of the room and downstairs, still smiling. His mother was making dinner in the kitchen.
"Hey Ma," he said. She turned around and looked at him.
"Oh, hello dear. Did you do your homework?"
"Not yet."
"Why not?"
"I was on the phone. I'll do it after dinner," he said. She gave him a look. Towards the end of the last school year he was so lax about schoolwork she really got pissed off at him. Of course it never showed on his tests, but she usually counted homework as a part of his grade, which was why his grades were sometimes lower than they should have been. "Oh, lighten up, Ma, I'll still do it."
"I just don't want you starting off a new year with an attitude like that, Zac. As much as you might not think so, school is still very important." He scoffed. "Well it is. Anyway, who were you on the phone with?"
"Nobody important," Zac said, keeping as vague as possible.
"Well I seriously doubt that. You're full of smiles. I haven't seen you like this since you started to date Bronwyn. How is she, anyway?"
"I don't know," Zac said. "We broke up."
"You did? When?"
"Yesterday."
"Well thank you for informing me!" Zac shrugged. "So you must have found someone new, then. What's her name?" Diana elbowed Zac.
"I didn't find anybody new," Zac said.
"Oh, come on, tell me! Who were you on the phone with?"
"Does it matter?" Zac asked. "I wasn't on phone with a girl and I haven't met anybody new." Diana gave him a look. That was actually true, however. He was on the phone with Ben, and he'd met Ben two months beforehand. "Let it go."
"Fine." She turned around. "I'll just ask your brother."
"Taylor doesn't know so don't even bother."
"So there is someone?"
"Mom, let it go!" Zac said. "Oh my God, can I please have a personal life?" She shrugged.
"Taste this." She held out a wooden spoonful of spaghetti sauce. He tasted it and nodded.
"Good. Could use a little more oregano, though," he said. She smiled.
"That's my culinary sweetie," she said, and kissed his cheek. He gave her a smile. Just then, behind them, Zac's little sister Jessica walked into the room. She had her hair messily on top of her head and she was wiping her eyes, chuckling slightly. "Oh, hi Jess."
"Hi Mom," she said. "Hey Zac."
"What's wrong?" Diana asked.
"Oh, nothing," Jess said, shaking her head. "I was just watching Will and Grace� It was definitely the funniest episode ever. Me and Ave were on the floor laughing hysterically."
"I don't want you watching that show, dear, especially not with your little sister," Diana said. Zac looked at her.
"Why not?" Jess asked.
"It doesn't have a good message," Diana said. She stirred her sauce carefully.
"What do you mean? It's funny!"
"And it's saying that it's all right to be a homosexual, running around as if it's a good thing. If God had wanted people to be homosexuals, he wouldn't have outlawed it in the Bible. I don't you getting any ideas." Zac's heart sunk in his chest and he felt as if he could cry.
"Whatever," Jess muttered as she walked out of the room. Diana shook her head and glanced at Zac.
"What's wrong, honey?" she asked.
"Do you really feel that way?" he asked.
"Of course I do," she told him. "It's completely wrong."
"How is it wrong?" Zac asked. "I know gay people, I have gay friends�it's not like it's a choice they made one day that 'Oh, you know what? I think I'm going to like men this week.' It's something you're born with."
"No, it's not something you're born with," Diana said, shaking her head. "It's a choice and it's a wrong choice. It's just not natural."
"Your hair color's not natural! That doesn't make it wrong!!" Zac yelled.
"Zac, why are you getting so upset over this?" Diana asked. He didn't say anything. "My hair color has nothing to do with living in sin for an entire lifetime. It's absolutely wrong. Men and women were created to be together, to love one another, get married and have children�"
"So you're saying, not only is homosexuality wrong, but the decision to stay single is wrong too. And at that, priests and nuns are wrong as well because they make a commitment to God and don't get married and have children, as if the so-called 'natural' way of living."
"No, I'm not saying that at all." Zac shook his head.
"You are so wrong�" he said.
"I am not wrong."
"�And you're just too narrow minded to see that."
"This is has nothing to do with having an open mind, Zac. There are things in life that are okay and things that aren't, and this isn't right." Zac shook his head. He could feel tears welling but he quickly pushed them away so she wouldn't know. "And whoever the hell these friends you have that are that way�"
"Gay," Zac supplied.
"I want you to stop hanging out with them. They're obviously putting ideas in your head."
"Oh, would you rather me be a mindless drone who only does what his mommy approves of?" Zac asked. "I'm almost eighteen, mother, I think it's about time I formed my opinions, even if they don't comply with yours."
"Yes, you are almost eighteen," Diana said. "Almost. Not yet." He huffed and left. "Zac, come back here, I need you to set the table."
"I'm not eating." He ran upstairs and into his room, where he slammed the door behind him and backed up against it. He slid to the floor, shaking his head and letting a few tears fall out of his eyes.
On Friday at six-thirty Zac arrived at Ben's apartment. Although they'd spoken on the phone all week, Zac hadn't seen Ben since Monday and that was enough time to miss him. Ben opened the door, looking amazing, which immediately caused Zac to smile. "Hey you," Ben said and kissed him briefly.
"Hey," Zac said. "You ready?"
"Yeah."
"You know," Zac said, as he took Ben's hand and walked over to the elevators, "I think you're the first date I've ever picked up who was ready when I got here."
"I'm a guy, Zac," Ben said. "I don't need three hours to get ready, although it did take me a while to figure out what I was going to wear."
"You look amazing."
"So do you." They got into the elevator and as the door shut they saw their reflection, holding hands, both smiling. "We are one hot couple, now aren't we?" Ben asked. Zac nodded.
"Oh yeah." The elevator doors opened again and they left the apartment building. They went over to Zac's car and Zac hesitated a bit before figuring it was indeed a date, and they were taking his car, so he held the door open for Ben, who smiled and got inside.
"You know you don't have to open doors for me, Zac," Ben said.
"I was raised to open doors for my date, and you're my date, Ben, so you're getting your doors opened for you," Zac said, smiling.
"You were also raised to like women."
"Did I tell you about the fight I got into with my mother the other day?" Zac asked. Ben shook his head. "She told me out and out that homosexuality is wrong, it's unnatural, and all this other crap, and then she was like 'whoever's putting these ideas into your head, you should really stop hanging out with them.' "
"Oh my God!"
"I know. That's the kind of stuff that makes me want to move out of the house as soon as possible." Zac sighed and started the car. "It really pisses me off, you know? It would help me out so much if my family wasn't so Christian."
"She's just closed minded, Zac."
"I know," he said. "But she's happy like that." Zac shook his head.
"Well let's not think about that, all right? Let's just have a nice evening." Zac sighed and agreed as he drove to the movie theatre. When they arrived Zac didn't open the door for Ben and they stood about a foot apart from each other, making sure their hands didn't touch. Zac bought the tickets and they had a fight because Ben insisted on paying for his. Ben ended up buying the snacks to make up for it.
They sat in the upper corner of the movie theatre where it wasn't as crowded. As soon as the lights went out and the movie was on they could barely see each other, much less have someone else see them. The closest person was sitting two rows in front of them and obviously not paying attention. Zac found Ben's hand and held it, causing Ben to smile.
They kept it at that�holding hands�until the movie ended. As the lights came back on Zac immediately let go of Ben's hand and they left. "So are we going to your place?" Zac quietly asked as they walked back to the car. Ben nodded. Every time, in the past, Zac had said that he was usually looking to score but this time it wasn't about that. One reason was because he was deathly afraid of what exactly 'scoring' meant, and for another, he actually cared about Ben in a way he didn't care about any of his previous girlfriends.
"Oh, I almost forgot," Ben said on the way back to his apartment, "Jayden called me earlier. He wants all of us to do something tomorrow."
"Okay," Zac said. "Do you think that includes Bronwyn? Do you know if Jayden really asked her out or not?"
"Yeah, he did," Ben said. "So I'm guessing she'll be there."
"That's going to be weird."
"Why?"
"Well for her. I really don't care but she said she never wanted to see me again and now we're going to see each other again�" Ben shrugged.
"You know what I think?" Zac looked over. "I think she's going out with Jayden in order to get back at you."
"Well that's not exactly how it works," Zac said. "If you she went out with you it would work, but I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon."
"Hey, you never know."
"Shut up!"
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding�" Ben said, waving a hand. Zac pulled into the parking lot of his apartment building and they got out. Ben took his hand as they went upstairs and into the apartment. When Ben opened the door they found no one to be home, so Ben smiled and kissed Zac quickly. Zac smiled and they fell onto the couch, heavily making out. "Mmm�honey, you need to shave." Zac opened his eyes and a large, goofy grin spread over his lips. "What? Do you not like me calling you honey?"
"Of course I don't!" Zac said. "I like baby better." Ben laughed.
"Okay. Well baby, you need to shave."
"Well, baby, you'll just have to deal with it." Ben smiled and Zac kissed him again.