Earth Angel
Chapter Four
"Chloe...
Chloe..."
Chloe
quickly turned on her heel at the sound of her name.
She looked hopefully into Phillip's room, not sure if it was possible
that he knew it was her standing there. She
stepped through the half opened door and walked towards his bed.
He was still sleeping and rolled over on to his side.
He
continued talking in his sleep, "Chloe... please don't leave me. Don't go. I love
you..."
Chloe
sighed and wiped a tear from her cheek. She
realized that he was dreaming and had no idea that she was standing there.
She backed away from his bed and accidentally tripped over the
wastebasket by the wall. She
steadied herself with her available hand and groaned quietly.
Unfortunately, the commotion was just enough to wake Phillip from his
dreams. He sat up in his bed and
stared at Chloe.
Chloe
nervously sputtered, "Phillip... I'm sorry I woke you up. I didn't mean to
disturb you."
Phillip
eyed her suspiciously. "Jan...
what are you doing here?"
"I
know that I'm probably the last person you want to see right now, but I came
here to tell you how sorry I am."
"Well,
that's certainly a surprise."
Chloe
nodded and tried her best to maintain her composure.
"I know... you don't expect that kind of talk from me. But, I am a person with feelings, despite what you may
believe. I'm sorry about Chloe... I
really am. It shouldn't have turned
out this way."
Chloe
glimpsed the pain and anger flash across Phillip's eyes as he spoke to her.
"You're right. It
shouldn't have turned out like this. You
KNOW you could have stopped Jason from drinking and driving.
You didn't stop him and it killed someone who I love very much."
"I
know. I tried to stop him, you have
to believe me. I didn't know he was
that drunk, or else I would have MADE him stop.
I had no idea what would happen. I
was stupid, okay? But, I'm TRYING
to apologize. Don't make this any
harder than it already is. I came
here to tell you how sorry I am, not to be yelled at."
Phillip
turned his face away from her and looked downward.
"I don't buy it. I just
can't believe that you would care anything at all about what happened to Chloe.
Not after everything you've done to her."
Chloe
wrinkled her eyebrows together in frustration.
"You don't understand. Things
have changed. I have changed.
I'm not the same Jan as I was then... I DO care."
"I
don't believe that either. You've
never cared about anything or anyone in your life besides yourself. That's all you care about.
You've never cared before about the pain that you've caused to me or to
Chloe, have you?"
Chloe was
completely taken aback. She didn't
know whether to agree with him, or be shocked.
There was an awkward pause as Chloe tried to figure out how Jan would
respond to an attack like that. For
a reason that was unbeknownst to her, she felt her own anger welling up inside
her.
"You
know what? I hate to say this at
this very moment, but maybe you need to take a good look at yourself. You are one of the most selfish people I've ever met.
All YOU care about is yourself, and Chloe.
I've seen the way you act towards your own mother, Phillip.
It's ridiculous. And the
most ridiculous part is that there are people who love you, you have people who
care about you, and you still act that way.
Did you ever stop to think that maybe I don't care about people because
nobody cares about me?"
"Jan...
I didn't know..."
Chloe
crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "No
wait, of course you never stopped to think about that, because unless it exists
inside the little bubble made up of you and Chloe, it doesn't matter to you.
I'm not going to make excuses for the things I've done, because they are
truly inexcusable. But, I'm not the
only one who needs to stop being so selfish.
You do too."
Phillip
paused and tried to look in her eyes. "You
don't have anybody, do you?"
Chloe
shook her head, the pain evident in her face as she was beginning to understand
Jan much better. "No, I don't.
My parents don't care about me. They
couldn't even be bothered to come see me in the hospital.
And the only person who ever acted like they cared was Jason. And now
he's gone too. So, you see... I
have nobody. At least you have
friends, and parents who love you."
"I'm
sorry..."
"Please,
don't be. I don't want pity, I just
want to move on. Listen, I know
that you're angry, but hating me isn't going to bring her back."
Chloe sighed deeply, she wanted more than anything to take him in her
arms and tell him that Chloe was right beside him, but she knew she couldn't.
Phillip
nodded sadly. "I know...
nothing ever will."
"I'm
sorry, Phillip. I didn't come in
here to start an argument, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
"Thank
you... I'm fine. I'll be out of
here tomorrow, and back to school in 2 days, I guess."
"Yeah,
I'm bustin' out tomorrow too. But,
I get to stay out of school for another week."
"Lucky
you..." he responded sarcastically.
Chloe
nodded in agreement and started to leave. "I'm
gonna let you go back to sleep now. But
please, think about what I said, because I know I'm going to."
"I
will... and I'm sorry I got so angry. It's
just hard to deal with this. I
thought I was going to be with her forever."
Chloe
stood at the door and nodded sadly. "You
really did love her, didn't you?"
Phillip
looked downward and smiled slightly. "More
than anything..."
Chloe
stepped outside his room and shut the door behind her.
She quietly whispered, "She loved you too..."
She sighed deeply and leaned against his closed door. Chloe had often wondered what caused Jan to act the way she did, and now she was starting to understand her. Not to mention that seeing Philip from someone else's eyes was a completely new experience. She still loved him deeply, but she could see why their relationship was so flawed. Chloe silently prayed that Phillip WOULD think about what she had said, he was too good of a person inside to act like the selfish brat he had become.