Don't Walk Away
Chapter
Fifteen
(A short while later.)
Chloe came back into Brady's room and scanned all around with her eyes. John and Marlena stood on the opposite side of Brady's bed, while Shawn and Belle were on Chloe's usual side. Nancy and Craig were in the two extra chairs, and Mimi was perched on an empty hospital bed that Belle had used on many nights to sleep near her brother.
She shut the door behind her and walked to the end of Brady's bed. "Good, everybody is here."
Mimi was the first to question her. "Yes, we are. Can you tell us why we are here? I mean, I was planning on stopping by later, but then you called and said to get over here as soon as possible."
Chloe nodded and clapped her hands together. "Yeah. Let me get right into it, actually. You see, I've been learning a lot over the past few days. A lot of things about how beautiful life can really be. Even when it feels like things can't possibly get worse; there is always something that can make you feel better. So, I wanted all of the people important to me, and the people important to Brady to be here, so we can all share what we have found in our lives to appreciate."
Nancy looked at her daughter with a mixture of surprise and confusion. "And you think this will help Brady get better?"
"I think it will help us all. And, if it helps Brady in the process than life is even more beautiful than I ever thought it could be. So, please... It may sound silly, and you may feel stupid doing it. But, go around the room, and tell me something that proves to you that life is a thing of beauty and wonder. It can be something small, and insignificant to other people... but if it's something that makes you joyful on even a really bad day, then it's important. And, then I'll share mine."
The room was silent as Chloe looked at all of them. Nobody spoke, so Chloe frowned at all of them. "Well come on... I know it sounds dorky, but bear with me, please. I'm begging you. Somebody has to go first."
Nancy cleared her throat and smiled at her daughter. "Alright, I'll go."
Chloe smiled proudly and motioned for her to continue. "Thank you. Please go ahead."
"I'm sure everyone here will have answers about their family, and I'm no different. My husband Craig has brought something special and unique into my life every single day that I've known him. And Chloe... Even when you are being stubborn, and you won't listen to me, you bring a kind of joy in my life that I never thought was possible. Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky to be able to bring such an amazing person in to this world, and I'm grateful for that gift every single day."
Chloe was smiling at her, but she prodded for something else. "And what else, Nancy? Something besides your family, because that's what everyone is going to say."
Nancy smiled girlishly and threw up her hands with a giggle. "Shoes. I don't know what it is, but buying a new pair of shoes heals everything."
Craig laughed and grabbed his wife's hand. "You don't have to tell me that. I pay the credit card bills."
Chloe laughed softly and then directed her questioning towards Craig. "Okay then, Craig. What about you?"
"Besides you and your mother, right?"
"Right, I'm not looking for the obvious answers, as much as I appreciate the sentiment and all."
Craig nodded and continued. "Well, in my job... Every single day I see the best and the worst that life has to offer. Sometimes I feel that it's the worst job in the world, but that feeling doesn't last for long. I have the opportunity day in and day out to save lives, and that makes me the luckiest man on earth. To be able to touch people's lives like that... That's what proves to me that my life is worth living, even through all of the hard times."
Chloe nodded in appreciation and then moved on to Mimi. "Alright, Meems... You're up."
Mimi cringed and frowned slightly. "Oh geez... I hate being put on the spot like this."
"Oh come on, don't tell me the greatest mouth in the Midwest has absolutely nothing to say."
"Oh no, I've got some things to say. I'm just, for once in my life, having a hard time finding the words to say them. I guess, I'm really glad to have the friends that I have. Friends that are willing to forgive me for all the bad things I did in the past. And, my family, in particular, has really learned to appreciate the little things, because there was a time when we had nothing. So, just knowing that we have a roof over our head, and we're safe, and healthy... That makes me really appreciate life. And, one other thing..." Mimi paused and grinned sheepishly before continuing. "Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream."
Chloe laughed and raised a hand in agreement. "I will second that feeling, just make mine a mocha chip."
Belle raised her hand along with Chloe and nodded. "Ditto that, only Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey for me."
"Alright, Belle... Your turn."
Belle paused to think for a moment, twirling a stray piece of her blonde hair on one finger. "Of course, all of you go on my list. And, shopping, ice cream, a good movie playing at Salem Place, holding hands with Shawn, a sunny day to have a picnic on, a frozen cappuccino from Dot.Com, winning at trivial pursuit, getting an A on my Physics test... And, love. Being loved and giving my love to other people is the absolute greatest gift I can imagine. Maybe it's a more simple answer than everyone else's, but it's the truth. All of that is what makes me get up in the mornings, even when I want to sleep for an extra ten minutes."
Shawn smiled at his girlfriend and gently held her hand. "That's not simple at all. It's perfect."
Belle smiled sweetly at him and Shawn continued. "That smile is right near the top of my list. When you smile at me, I know that everything is right with the world."
Shawn stopped and then pointed around the room as a warning. "And don't any of you 'awwww' at me for saying that."
Chloe chuckled and shook her head. "You'll get none of that from me, I promise. That's a perfectly wonderful, and perfectly acceptable answer. Please go on."
Shawn nodded slightly and continued. "I've been very lucky, and very blessed to have two of the best parents any person could ask for. And, even though he was only with us for a short time, hearing J.T. laugh, or having him call me 'brother' really made every day much more special. And, I don't think there has been anything more life affirming in this past year than finding out that Zack is my father's biological son. If that doesn't make you understand the power of love, then nothing will. So, all of that... and hitting a perfect three point shot on the basketball court."
"Thank you, Shawn. Marlena? John?"
John looked briefly at his son and then back to Chloe. "My two amazing children. My wife who has stood by me through everything. Knowing that love can survive any obstacle, even death. And... A nice thick steak, medium well."
Chloe laughed and rolled her eyes. "A through and through carnivore, just like your son."
"Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I'm just grateful that Brady and Belle inherited all of the best qualities from their mothers, and none of my flaws."
Marlena smiled and rested her hand on John's arm. "Oh, there's plenty of you in them too. And, that's just one of many things that make me see the beauty of life every day. Not only have I been blessed to raise three wonderful children of my own, but I was also given the privilege to raise two stepchildren. And, I couldn't love Carrie or Brady any more then if they were my own. To be given that kind of gift is truly precious. I'm so lucky to have the greatest husband on earth, five children who I love and adore, and an amazing little grandson. And one of my smaller pleasures in life is a really great book that I can curl up with on a cold winter night."
Chloe rubbed her hands together and smiled proudly. "See, that wasn't so hard, was it? And, I know that's just a small sample of all of the millions of things that make life very special for all of us."
Shawn raised his eyebrows questioningly. "And what about you, Chloe?"
"Oh, I was getting there. I have so much to be happy about, and the sad part is that I've only just come to realize exactly how much I have. I have all of you in this room, and whether we are related by blood or not, this feels like a family to me. And, I have so many great memories of times spent with all of you, and times spent with Brady. I will always be grateful for that. And, no matter what happens, I will never forget the many things that Brady and I shared that will always remind me of how beautiful life is."
Chloe moved closer to Brady's bed and laid her hand tenderly over his. She addressed the next part of her speech to him directly "Let's see... There's the perfect BLT that you taught me how to make. You exposed me to the wonderful world of bowling, even though you did try to cheat. We shared pancakes in the afternoon, food fights, basketball games, ice cream, walks in the park, and phone calls for no real good reason other than to just hear each other's voices. You made me laugh when I needed to laugh, and you held on to me when I needed to cry. So, I thank you for that. And for one other thing..."
Chloe paused with a smile on her face. She looked up to glance around the room, and addressed everyone else this time. "And that one other thing is something I've been trying to figure out. I knew that I was missing something in my life over the past days, but I didn't know what. And then it just kind of came to me... I thought about all of those things that I love and can't live without, and I remembered."
Chloe hesitated and Belle looked at her anxiously. "Remembered what? What is it, Chloe?"
"You see, I lived a large part of my life without a lot of things to be happy about. Until I moved here, I never had one single true friend. I never had anyone who loved me for who I am, the good and the bad. And, then I came to Salem. And, it took a while for me to warm up to the idea that I could be happy, that I deserved to be happy. But, it's all because of the people in this room. Shawn, Belle, you two were the first friends I ever made, and you never cared what other people said about me, you only cared about me. And, Nancy and Craig... Even when I shunned you and disrespected you, you still loved me anyway."
Chloe shared a smile with her parents and then continued. "So, what I'm trying to get at is something from the many years before I came to Salem. Whenever I felt sad, which was most of the time, I held on to one thing. There was one thing that always made me feel better, and it has carried over into my life here. My friendship with Brady. And, everything that I do. It has always been important to me, and it's something I can't live without. So, the one thing I've been missing is… music."
Chloe looked briefly at Brady and then back towards everyone else. "And, I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner. But, in the past twelve days, I realized that I haven't heard any music. Not anywhere, and not even in my head. I haven't hummed, or whistled or sung even a single note. I got so caught up in everything I was feeling, that I forgot about the one thing that has always been the cure to everything in my life."
Belle smiled knowingly and interjected. "And that's not what Brady would want you to do either. He always said never to let anything stand in the way of your music, Chloe. No matter what it is."
"I know, and that's what I've been doing. I've been so worried about him, that I let the music stop. But, if you will all bear with me for a moment... there is something I have to do."
Chloe glanced around the room as everyone looked at her, waiting for what was to come. She held Brady's hand tenderly, and placed her other hand on top of his. Chloe fixed her gaze on his peaceful, sleeping form. There was something about a person when they slept that made them look more innocent, vulnerable and much more beautiful. Brady was no exception to the rule either.
She sighed softly for a moment, trying to build up her courage. Chloe closed her eyes for a second as she tried to remember the words to a song she had listened to on the same day that Brady had been hit by Phillip's car. A song that she felt encompassed everything she was trying to get across to her friends and family on this very afternoon.
She muttered quietly before she began, "This one's for you, Brady."
Chloe took a deep breath in and opened her eyes, the first notes coming out of her throat with ease, all of them perfectly on key. She was afraid she would be out of practice, but the love and beauty in her heart pushed the notes out effortlessly.
***I held you close to me
Once in a distant dream
Far from the shores of my fear
I sailed on this ocean
Where all I imagined could happen
And now you are here
It's so hard to touch what is out of our hands
To know and to trust what the heart understands***
So many times Brady had told her she didn't sing with emotion, that she left her heart behind. But, through no fault of her own, it wasn't the case this time. She believed the words in the song, and she felt them with every ounce of her body, heart and soul. And when she sang them, it showed in every note and every inflection.
***Only the ones who believe
Ever see what they dream
Ever dream what comes true
Life gives us magic
And life brings us tragedy
Everyone suffers some loss
Still we have faith in it
Childlike hope
There's a reason that outweighs the cost
And gravity throws all these rules in our way
And sometimes the spirit refuses to play
Only the ones who believe
Ever see what they dream
Ever dream what comes true
Life gives us magic
And life brings us tragedy
Everyone suffers some loss
Still we have faith in it
Childlike hope
There's a reason that outweighs the cost***
Chloe now understood what Brady had been talking about all of those times. She would normally just get angry at his criticisms, but she knew he had been right. Chloe had always been too scared to open up a part of herself and put it into her song, but now she was ready to let her heart and her voice take wing.
***Oh Love
Turn me around in your arms
And in this dream we share
Let us not miss one kiss
And add my regrets to the tears in the rain
That's what the color of roses contain
Only the ones who believe
Ever see what they dream
Ever dream what comes true
Life gives us magic
And life brings us tragedy
Everyone suffers some loss
Still we have faith in it
Childlike hope
There's a reason that outweighs the cost***
Chloe let the last note of the song float into the air. The room was silent around her, everyone entranced by her song. She leaned forward and kissed Brady gently on the lips, smiling as she backed away from him.
"Now you have to wake up, because none of these people have ever had the guts to tell me how awful I am."
Chloe grinned slightly and turned to address Craig. "Craig, I know you said that Brady might not even be able to hear us. He might not even know we're here. But is it possible that he does?"
"It's possible, Chloe. Anything is possible if you believe in it enough."
Chloe nodded and squeezed Brady's hand. "I believe."
And for the first time in twelve days, she really did. There were times when she spoke to him, when she compared it to speaking to a brick wall. Never knowing whether he could hear her or not, she kept trudging along. But, now she knew. Brady had to hear her, and now that she had finally put all the pieces together, he would come back to her. It was only a matter of time, she thought to herself, a matter of time until he decided it was time to wake up and rejoin her in waking life.
***
The song is "The Color of Roses" by Beth Nielsen Chapman.
And let me tell you... I had a list of about 12 songs to use in this chapter, and none of them seemed to fit quite right. I happened to pop in Beth's greatest hits CD yesterday, and BAM!, it smacked me right in the head. A song about tragedy and loss, but also about hope and beauty. Hello? Perfect.