Cookies & Ice Cream

Chapter Twenty

(The Kiriakis Mansion)

Belle stood near the pool in Phillip's backyard alone. She stared at the shimmering waters and sighed softly. Belle couldn't figure out why Phillip had brought her here, but it didn't really matter. Aside from the confrontation at the dance, she had been having a great night so far.

She heard footsteps approaching her from behind and Phillip pressed a hand on her back like he was going to push her into the pool. Belle steadied herself and rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, like you would actually push me into the pool in my fancy dress."

"It's me you're talking to. I'm very immature, of course I would."

"Yeah, but I heard you walking up behind me, so you would have never gotten away with it if you had really tried."

Phillip looked at her in surprise and then glanced at his shoes briefly. "These are very expensive Italian leather shoes, and you could hear them on the deck?"

"Uh-huh. I have great hearing. Ears like a... I don't know. What kind of animal has great hearing?

"An elephant?"

Belle giggled and shook her head. "No. An elephant has a good memory."

Phillip paused and bit his lip thoughtfully. "A rabbit?"

"No, rabbits have good eyesight. That's why my mom always told me to eat carrots."

"Cats?"

Belle shook her head again. "No, no, no... Dogs. It's DOGS that have great hearing."

Phillip nodded and pointed at her. "That's why you're graduating with honors, and I'm just barely scraping by."

"You're very smart, Phillip... You just never applied yourself."

"Yes, but I do know how to fetch." Phillip grinned and held up the bottle of water that Belle had requested upon their arrival. "We serve only the finest blend here at the Kiriakis mansion. Aged to perfection and imported from..." Phillip looked at the bottle intently and then shrugged. "Evian?"

Belle laughed and took the bottle from him. She removed the cap and sniffed the top like she was at a wine tasting. "Ahh yes. A very good year, 2002. Thank you."

Belle took a sip and Phillip held up what was in his other hand. "And I brought this."

Belle swallowed and raised both eyebrows in confusion. "A loaf of bread? I'm not really hungry, but thank you. I think."

"It's not for you. It's for the ducks."

"The ducks? You have ducks? When did that happen?"

Phillip chuckled softly and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. He began leading her away from the pool deck and towards the garden. "There's a duck pond in the garden. It's been here since before my dad bought the place."

Belle's eyes widened in surprise. "Really? How come I've never seen your ducks?"

"Because a man's waterfowl is a very personal and private thing."

Belle was still laughing as they reached the pond. Small garden lights lighted it all around and there was a park bench poised on one side of the pond. She sat down and Phillip took the seat next to her. He handed her the bag of bread with a grin.

"Here. I thought you could practice for all the time you'll be spending in Central Park feeding the ducks."

Belle nodded and pulled a piece of bread out of the bag. She started tearing it into pieces and throwing it into the water. The chunks had barely hit the water when the ducks gathered near to the edge of the pond to scoop the pieces up. Belle abandoned her maturity and began talking to the birds, who were more than happy to be fed by her.

She laughed childishly, and kept a smile spread wide across her face, as the duck beaks snapped up the crumbs she threw them. She had gone through half of the bread when she felt Phillip's blue eyes staring a hole through her. Belle turned her head slightly and met his gaze.

"And just what exactly are you staring at?"

Phillip's lips curled into a slight smile. "You. It's nice to see you so happy. It's been far too long since I've seen you like this."

Belle kept her smile plastered on. "It's all thanks to you."

She winked at him and returned to throwing bread into the pond. Phillip sighed softly beside her and ran a hand absentmindedly through his blonde hair.

"Belle..."

Belle sat up straight and looked up at him curiously. "Yessssss?"

"Do you ever think about how your life could be different? If one event changed, or maybe one specific person had never come into your life... how it would be completely different than the way it is now."

Belle shrugged and threw a stray piece of bred into the water. "I try not to. The past is in the past, and I can't change any of it, even if I wanted to. So, I guess there's no use in dwelling on it."

Phillip nodded in understanding but continued on. "But even so... Aren't you even just a little curious?"

"I don't know. Maybe a little. Why? What exactly are you curious about?"

"It's silly. I shouldn't tell you."

Belle shook her head vehemently and laid her hand on Phillip's knee. "No, tell me. Now that you've brought it up, you've got me curious. And I'm not going to back off until you tell me, so spill it."

Phillip cringed slightly, but continued. "Well, I know we weren't supposed to bring up those names tonight, but since you're forcing me into it... I was thinking about how different everything would be if I had never dated Chloe."

"Very very different. That's a given."

"And about how different things would be if you had never been in love with Shawn."

Belle's expression changed and her smile faded. Phillip had hit a nerve, and she wasn't quite sure where he was headed with this conversation. "What do you mean? What does that have to do with you?"

Phillip groaned softly and rubbed his hands together nervously. "Because... Before I went out with Chloe, I had been thinking about asking YOU out."

Belle leaned back in shock and nearly fell off of the bench. "Me? Why me?"

"Because, you're you. Maybe that's not a good enough explanation, but it's the truth. You are an amazing person, Belle, and anyone who knows you can see that. You're intelligent, beautiful, funny and you have the kindest heart of any person I have ever known."

Belle felt her cheeks flush red and she smiled bashfully at him. "Thank you, that's so sweet."

Phillip smiled back at her lovingly. "So, what I'm trying to ask you is... If there had been no Chloe in my life, and you had not been in love with Shawn Brady your entire life... Do you think you would have said yes if I had asked you out?"

Belle paused thoughtfully and then a devilish grin spread across her face. "Oh... No way."

Phillip's jaw dropped in shock. "What? No way is your answer? Why not?"

Belle cackled like a madwoman and threw a piece of bread at him. "I'm just kidding, Phillip. The look on your face was absolutely priceless."

Phillip grabbed a piece of bread from the bag and threw it at her in return. "That is not funny."

"Hey... Don't throw bread at me."

"Well, you started it."

Belle giggled and threw another piece of bread at him. "Yes, but that doesn't mean you have to stoop to my level."

Phillip grinned and threw a larger handful of bread at her. "Just tell me you would have said yes."

Belle shook her head in denial. "Nope."

Phillip used one arm to hold on to her and began tickling her ribs with his other hand. Belle shouted loudly and tried to wriggle away from him, but he was much stronger than she was.

"Just say yes, Isabella Black."

Belle shook her head and yelled at him through her giggles. "No... way... Phillip... Robert... Kiriakis."

"Don't you bring out the middle name, that's not fair. Just say it, Belle."

Belle kept shouting as he tortured her with tickles all over. "No, no, no! I'm not going to say it."

Phillip pulled her close to him, his face only centimeters away from her. He was wrapped around her like a vice, preventing her from fighting back. He tickled her at the end of each sentence, and she punctuated his sentence with a girlish giggle.

"Say it." Tickle. Giggle.

"Please, Belle." Tickle. Giggle.

"I'm not going to stop anytime soon." Tickle. Giggle.

"I could do this all night." Tickle. Giggle.

"Just say yes." Tickle. Giggle.

Belle groaned in frustration and rolled her eyes. "Alright. If I tell you the truth, do you promise to let me go and not tickle me anymore?"

Phillip nodded and smiled at her. "I swear to you that I will not punish you anymore."

"Then the answer is..." Belle grinned at him and started to form the next word. "Nnnnnn... Yes. I would have said yes. Of course I would have."

Phillip smiled and was about to let go of her when a new expression came across his face. Belle looked at him, somewhat out of breath from a tickle fight to rival the ones they used to have in elementary school. Phillip pulled her closer and tentatively kissed her on the lips.

Belle was so stunned she didn't react at first. She didn't know whether to push him away or to kiss him back. Phillip loosened his strong hold on her and embraced her lovingly. His lips were soft and warm, and instead of pushing him away, Belle lost all free will and got caught in the moment.

Phillip explored further and she allowed him to. The part of her that should have been screaming at her to stop was quiet, and she returned Phillip's kiss with as much passion as he had for her. She moved her hand up and let it rest on the nape of his neck, her fingers entwined in his thick blonde hair.

She didn't think about the reasons or consequences, she just let it happen. Phillip broke away for a moment, but before he could say anything Belle initiated another kiss. The heat between them began increasing quickly, and Phillip finally let go of her mouth to lay a trail of kisses from her neck to her bare shoulders.

Belle shivered slightly as the night breezes hit the places where Phillip had kissed her bare skin. He moved away from her shoulder and once again kissed her mouth. Belle knew what her body wanted. It wanted Phillip's hands and lips on her, but her mind had begun to take over. She placed her hands on his chest and pushed him away.

Her face was contorted in misery and she shook her head sadly. "Phillip... We can't do this."

Phillip sighed and looked away from her. "Oh God, Belle... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I really didn't."

"I know... and it's okay. But, this thing... between us. It's not the right time."

"Why not?"

Belle sighed and laid her hands in her lap. "You know why. It's way too complicated right now. I can't do this with you. I can't be with you."

Phillip looked back at her, his blue eyes filled with disappointment. "It's because of Shawn, isn't it?"

"Actually, no, it's not. It's because of you and me. It has nothing to do with Shawn or Chloe. We are two lost souls, and if you and I tried to start a relationship right now... It could end disastrously for both of us."

"You don't know that..."

Belle tried to smile reassuringly, but couldn't quite pull it off. "Not for sure. But, you're getting ready to go on this big journey of yours, and in a year's time... you may not be the same person you are now. And, I'm getting ready for a big change in my life too. It's just the wrong time for us."

Phillip nodded in understanding. "I know that you're probably right. And, I didn't intend to end up this way with you... I've just been looking at you differently lately. In a way that I haven't looked at anybody since..."

"Since the night you took Chloe to the Last Blast two years ago?"

"Pretty much. And it didn't help that I sort of had feelings for you before I even knew Chloe."

Belle chewed on her lower lip thoughtfully. "Well, I've had the same kinds of feelings for you in the past. But, I never acted on them. And now that they are surfacing again... I can't. I just can't. I care about you far too much to let us hurt each other. And, I know that is what would happen."

Phillip kept nodding and Belle continued her reasoning. "We just have to be sensible about this. If I were to have a relationship with you, I'd want it to work. I don't want this to be a rebound. I don't want to have the specters of our past loves hanging over us. And, I want us to be sure of who we are. You need to find out exactly who you are, and so do I."

Phillip sighed softly and questioned her. "And if after a year, I return and I've figured out everything I need to figure out... What will happen then? Would we have a chance?"

"I... I don't know. I can't tell you that. But, no matter what I'm always going to be your best friend and I'm always going to be there for you. But, nobody can say where we'll be in a year, what kind of people we'll be, and if we'll need each other as much as we needed each other tonight."

"So, was that all this was? Two people who needed comfort?"

Belle shook her head in denial. "Not just that. It meant a lot more to me than that. But, this was the first night I've had that I could be with someone and not think about Shawn. And, I'm glad it's you that has shown me that I CAN be happy, even without him around. That means more to me than I can even tell you."

Phillip grinned proudly and joked with her. "And, if I kissed you again... Would it convince you to reconsider?"

Belle chuckled softly and shook her head. "Don't get me wrong. That was... those were... amazing kisses. That's why I stopped you... I didn't want to lose my head because of what my heart and my body were telling me."

"I know exactly what you mean. So, does this mean things are going to be extremely awkward between us from now on?"

"It better not be. Our friendship is way too important to me to let it get ruined by this. I just feel like I need some time to be with myself. Time to not have a boyfriend, or be in love, or worry about any of that. I just need to discover who I am alone... and so do you."

Phillip smiled and hugged her tightly. "I know... And, I don't think I can tell you enough how sorry I am for making things even more confusing for you."

Belle let go of him and smiled back at him. "Don't be sorry. You gave me the best night I've had in a very long, and I am so grateful for that. Don't be sorry about the kiss... I certainly didn't push you away. Don't think that your feelings for me are one sided either, because they're not... I do love you Phillip, and I want you to always be a part of my life in any way possible. I can't promise you it will be in a romantic way... Not now. But, maybe someday."

Phillip kissed her on the cheek this time and nodded in understanding. "Thank you. Thank you for not hating me."

"That would never happen."

"So, are you ready to go home yet?"

Belle shook her head adamantly and pointed towards the remaining bread that she had let fall to the ground. "Not while I still have bread to feed the ducks."

Phillip chuckled and Belle happily went back to finishing off the rest of the bread. She smiled on the outside, but her heart was sad. She honestly did have feelings for Phillip that would have to remain unexpressed. Belle knew she couldn't commit fully to a relationship with anyone while the wounds from her breakup with Shawn were still fresh. And, even though part of her wanted to give in to Shawn, she knew that some time apart would be for the best.

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