| I hate this uncomfortable feeling i have right now. this uneasy feeling of not knowing the way other people feel. not knowing if they care about you in the same way that you do. not knowing if theyre thinking of some way to let you down gently, when really no matter how slowly they set you down, as soon as you touch the ground youre hurting. i hate not knowing if im being overdramatic or if i have reason to be worried. i hate not having enough balls to ask the deal whenever i feel this way. i hate now being able to call him my boyfriend. now, dont get me wrong. i completely understand why i cant yet... i agree with it. but i hate introducing him as my "friend" because... because... ugh, i dont even know how to say it without sounding too deep or obsessed or just crazy for feeling this way. i get so scared because i sometimes think that im thinking these feelings because i want to have them, not because i really do. but then i think about him... about that smile. that laugh. and i want to have the feelings. and i do. i just want to know how he feels. everything. all of it. every though, every idea, that runs through his head. |
