Quotes from Professors
Soulful Case Wisdom
Aw yeah, some important knowledge from some very important people... my professors! They are very interesting people indeed... some soulful Case wisdom from each class! :-) CWRU people: even more reason to take the following classes. I recently rearranged these in groupings of classes. Enjoy.
Chemistry and Materials Classes
- "You have to understand... chemistry is where it's at." -ENGR 145-
- "Girls should be careful when referring to diamonds as a girl's best friend. At a low pressure combined with a very high temperature that girl's best friend could turn into graphite... and then you would have to use it as a pencil." -ENGR 145-
- "I need a pointer... sir, may I borrow your crutch?" -ENGR 145-
- "Monkeys could have taken that exam better than you all did." -CHEM 224-
- "You guys don't know that? It's like, well, DUH!!" -CHEM 224-
- "I'm sorry to say this, but if you don't know the answer to this question, you're just ignorant." -CHEM 224-
- "If I have 50 cookies and 50 of you have to come in for the cookies, sorry, some of you go home without." -EMAC 270-
- "When I was a student, and of course, I was young and handsome..." -EMAC 270-
- "So I didn't know the answer... so I made it up. Maybe I shouldn't be telling you this." -EMAC 270-
Physics and Math Classes
- "So they tell you that the plane is coming in at some nice round number like 800 mph. And you say,*$%&! Who the !$#@ is flying that plane?" -PHYS 121-
- "So, I'm going to tack on some fake hair as I demonstrate to you how the Van de Graaf generator works." -PHYS 122-
- "Now, for 150%..." -PHYS 122-
- "No more T!" -MATH 223-
- "Today we are going to talk about... L'Hospital Rule." -MATH 223-
- "I so confused, I don't know where I am." -MATH 223-
- "Now, it would be difficult to perform dis integral, so... actually, dis one not so bad." -MATH 223-
- "Need help in math? Well... go see a psychiatrist." -MATH 224-
- "What am I doing?... Ah well, you'll figure it out. It's due Monday." -MATH 224-
Core Engineering Classes
- "Behind one door, you have a car. Behind the other two doors... GOATS." -ENGR 131-
- "Now, this 'dw' is not the one on the cartoon 'Arthur'." -ENGR 210-
- "This is NOT the correct way to do this." -ENGR 210-
- "So the only person who will benefit from buying this speaker is your dog... or your chinchilla." -ENGR 210-
- "Gentlemen in the back, no wrestling in class... until you want to do it up here and we'll bet on it." -ENGR 210-
- "It's not a nasty circuit. See, it's a happy circuit [draws smiley face in circuit]." -ENGR 210-
- "An open circuit? Yes! YES! Why are you so afraid to answer me?!" -ENGR 210 recitation-
- "I don't know about you... but I like capacitors." -ENGR 210 recitation-
- "You will always have flow. You will never not be able to have no flow." -ENGR 225-
- "It turns out to be pretty trivial, but they're biologists, so they think we're pretty smart." -ENGR 225-
Humanities and Social Science Courses
- "During my college graduation, my best friend turned to me and said, 'Man... we are SO ugly! Where did all the good-looking people go?' And I looked around and boy! He was right!" -POSC 260-
- "Everyone makes peace in Paris!" - POSC 376-
- "A highly moral candidate sends cashable checks." -POSC 376-
- "Es ist wie head-bangen und booty-shaken." -GRMN 301-
- "Ok, everybody... P! Right on it!" -APMU 385-
- "Alright, now that we're all loosened up... P!" -APMU 385-
- "First oboe is not here? No problem... I'll kill him." -APMU 385-
- "Either way, it's a crap shoot." -APMU 385-
BME Courses
- "What was the significance of the Battle of Lepanto?" -EBME 201-
- "Y'all need a shot of hadacall." -EBME 201-
- "Everyone feels good after sex!" -EBME 202-
- "...and as soon as Viagra comes out of the adipose, up we go again..." -EBME 202-
- "So, what's wrong with having extra glucose in your system? You think having hyperglycemia could be detrimental to your health?... Yes!" -EBME 202-
- "Wrong, McGee. It's not gonna happen." -EBME 202-
- "You'll break down the medullary gradient and just basically pee to death!" -EBME 202-
- "Anyone try any of that Olestra stuff? I remember I had 10 or 20 - I was sitting on the john!" -EBME 202-
- "They were put on Thorazine - 'Big Thor'. Man, when you were on that stuff, NOTHING bothered you!" -EBME 202-
- "You're all young and beautiful people... stay that way." -EBME 202-
- "I have no idea what 'cultured' means, I don't know about electricity... I'm a reader from the Biology Department." -EBME 313-
- "I would be non-ethical... but I would be more humane." -EBME 313-
- "Of course, it doesn't mean that you should write the entire report in one evening. That would be impossible... and wrong." -EBME 314-
MEM Courses
- "Project Management is not like the laws of physics." -IIME 405-
- "How many of you have trouble making important decisions? See, I'm having trouble deciding where to eat tonight." -IIME 405-
- "Sure, you can hire me. Just don't hire two of me." -IIME 405-
- "Never never never buy a pick-up truck." -IIME 405-
- "I spent $25 on coke and ice cream - coca-cola, that is." -IIME 405-
- "This color is too sexy to show on paper." -IIME 405-
- "The Peter B. Lewis Building? It's kinda like going through Whoville." -IIME 410-
- "We can be wrong... but as long as we're in balance, we're happy." -IIME 410-
- "Who controls the economy? Well, there's this cartel of gnomes underwater..." -IIME 410-
- "There was a point to this story... I'm sorry, I'm having a senior moment." -IIME 415-
- "No, I don't actually think the company is customer intimate. I just raised my hand so that it would get at least one vote." -IIME 415-
- "I mean, the format doesn't have to be sexy..." -IIME 415-
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