THE NAG'S HEAD.
Albert is sitting at a table playing cards with a couple of
locals. Del and Rodney are at the bar talking to Mike.
Sitting alone at a table, a suitcase by her side, is Anna.
She is an attractive 19-year-old language student from
Germany. She can speak English quite well, but has problems
with 'Nag's Head English.' She surveys the bar in an almost
frightened manner. She is vulnerable and sad.
Del
What do you reckon then Mike,
25?
Mike
Last orders now - please.
(To Del)
I'm not interested.
Del
I'll give you the box - it's
got re-dial -, oi, top me up
too, don't hang about.
Mike
Maureen! Maureen!
(Indicating Anna)
Go an' tell that girl over
there will you, we're
closing in a minute.
Maureen
And how am I supposed to do
that? I've been tryin' to
talk to her all night but
she's foreign, don't
understand the lingo!
Rodney
What's occurring Mike?
Mike
Well it's that foreign tart,
she can't speak a word of
English. She's been sitting
there all night. Keeps
bursting into tears!
Del
Yeah, well at your prices
you can't blame her? What's
her nationality?
Mike
Ain't got a clue!
Rodney
(Hopefully)
Maybe she's Swedish!!
Mike and Del
Swedish??
Del
Hark at him.
Mike
Yeah, well d'you know the
Swedish for 'Chucking out
time'?? That's one pound
fourty-seven...
Del
Alright, I'll get it.
Mike
Here Del, Del, you speak a
bit of French don't you?
Del
Potage bonne femme!
Mike
Listen, go and have a chat
with her, see if she speaks
French?
Del
Of course I will Mike, any-
thing for a mate. How much
d'you say these drinks were?
Mike
One four...On the house Del!
Del
Good boy, well done Michael,
you're a gentleman! Right,
you can stay here if you l
like Rodney.
Rodney
You must be joking! You're
gonna to speak French to
someone, I wouldn't miss this
for a million pounds.
Del
Alright, alright then - I'll
show you. Come on.
Rodney
Go on then.
Del approaches.
Del
Alright Maureen, I can take
over now. Right. Alright. Au
revoir! Parlez vous the old
Français?
Anna
Oh, oui bien sur. Pouvez
vous m'aider s'il vous
plait? Est'ce qu'il y'a un
hotel ou pension quelconque
par ici ou je peux trouver
une chambre?
Del is stunned. For the first time his 'Renault Handbook'
French has been confronted by the real thing. Rodney
grins at Del.
Del
Na, she don't speak French
either Mike!
Anna
Excusez-moi Monsieur. Je ne
suis pas Français, mais
Allemande!
Del
Who?
Anna
Allemagne!! Deutschland!!
Germany!! Ja?
Rodney
She's German!
Del
Oh, it's alright, panic over
Mike, Bamber's cracked it!
She's German!
(To Albert)
What do you want?
Albert
I can speak a bit of German,
I was over there just after
the war.
Del
Yes, sit down, sit down. Come
over here. Now listen to me.
I want you to ask her what
her name is, where she lives,
her address and all that sort
of thing.
Albert
Right, leave this to me...
(In cod German
accent)
Vot ees your nem?
Del
Vot is your n...Vot is yor
nem...He's winding me up ain't
he?
Anna
Does anyone speak English?
Del
English! You saucy mare,
course we speak English, we
invented the lingo didn't we?
Rodney
Yes we sp... Well, I speak
English!
Anna
You help me maybe? I look for
my hotel!
Rodney
Oh right. Which hotel? What
is the name of your hotel??
Anna
I not sure of this!
Del
Oh stone me, there's bloody
millions of them across the
river.
Anna looks to Rodney for the translation.
Rodney
Er, he say 'There are many
hotels in London.'
Anna
Oh ja, many!
Albert
You just come in then?
Gatwick airport - silver bird?
Anna
(To Rodney)
Please?
Rodney
He say 'Have you just arrived
in England?'
Anna
Oh no. I be in England now
for one year. I am language
student. French and
English, ja? I work as au
pair and study at the
college. This morning now,
the family I work for tell
me I must go. They are not
happy with me. They say I
must leave., so I have
hotel yes?
Rodney
Oh yes! Don't worry, I - I
will make sure you get to
your hotel. I will make
sure you get safely to
your room! I think I can
handle this on my own Del,
don't you?
Del
Yeah, I bet you can! Yeah,
blimey what a turn up, eh?
He thought he was gonna
pull a Swede and she's got
lumbered with a cabbage!
Come on Albert, let's take
a Toby home, we'll leave
the keys of the car with
the old saint here! Off
you go. Tata darling.
Albert
Best of luck darling, keep
yer hand on yer pfennig!
Mike
No Del!
Del
Alright, I tell you what I'm
gonna do Michael, I'm gonna
leave the phone here so that
you can have a think about
it and I'll give you a bell
on it in the morning.
Alright son.
Rodney
So, have you any idea where
your hotel is?
Anna
I do not have hotel!
Rodney
But I thought you said you
were looking for a hotel?
Anna
Ja, I look for hotel.
Rodney
Oh...There are no hotels in
this area!
Anna
This is what I think! So, I
am nowhere?
She begins to sob.
Rodney
No, no, don't cry! Some-
thing'll turn up! Give us a
bit of time to think!
Anna
(Producing a
few fivers)
I have money!
Rodney
Put that away! Blimey,
they'd chop your head off
round here if you've got
gold teeth!
Anna
Please?
Rodney
This is dangerous place at
night! The streets are bad
place!
Anna
Ja, this is why I fear!
Mike
Come on, time to go home now
- please.
Rodney
Well look, you could stay the
night at our flat I suppose.
You know - if you want. It
ain't very much, but it's
comfortable...Well no, it
ain't really comfortable.
You're more than welcome! You
could have my bed.
Anna
But where will you sleep?
Rodney
Oh, we'll think of something.
Shall I take your case?
Anna
Thank you.
Rodney picks up her suitcase. Anna stands and it is evident
that she is heavily pregnant.
THE TROTTERS' LOUNGE.
Albert is watching TV eating fish and chips from the wrap-
ping paper. Del is at the table engaged in a conversation
on a 'nomad phone.' On the table he has fish and chips and
a lurid cocktail.
Del
Mmmh! Yeah! Eh. Yeah, listen
Kristos, everyone's got a
cordless phone these days
except you! What? No, of
course they're not faulty! I
said of course they're not
faulty!
Rodney
Hi!
Rodney enters, nervously.
Albert
D'you get that little bird
home?
Rodney
Eh, yeah I got her home! See
thing is Del, she didn't
actually have a hotel to go
back to!
Del
Alright Rodney - can't you
see I'm on the phone. What
did you say - go on.
Rodney
So I said she could spend
the night here!
Del
What d'you mean, she can
spend the night here?
Rodney
Come in Anna.
Anna enters.
Del
Yeah hello dar...
(Spying the
lump)
Alright Kristos, listen, I've
got to go, I'll hang up
because something big has
just turned up.
Del switches the phone off.
Rodney
Anna, this is my brother
Derek. Del, this is Anna.
Anna
Good evening.
Del
Good evening, yeah.
Rodney
And this is our Uncle Albert.
Anna
How do you do?
Albert
Hello dear, nice to meet you
all!
Anna
May I sit down?
Del
Certainly, yeah, sit here.
Please put your bag down.
That's it - good girl.
Albert
D'you fancy a bit of 'addock?
Rodney
Hey, no, you're alright,
we've already eaten. I took
her down the Star of Bengal.
Del
D'you think a ruby was wise
in her condition? Excuse me,
excuse us.
(To Rodney
indicating
kitchen)
Could I have a private word
with you in private please,
thank you.
Rodney
Yeah, yeah sure. I won't be
a minute Anna.
Del
Albert please try to enter-
tain our guests!
KITCHEN.
Del
Shut the door.
Rodney
Del, I couldn't help it,
honest, I mean, how was I to
know she was pregnant?
Del
'How was I supposed to know
she was pregnant?' It doesn't
take a Doctor bleedin' Spock
to work that one out Rodney!
Rodney
Look, Ill take her out
tomorrow and find her a room,
eh?
Del
And what happens if that
sprog of hers decides to clock
in tonight?
Albert enters.
Albert
I don't want to worry you two
boys, but unless I'm very
much mistaken that young girl
out there's up the duff!
Rodney
Why don't you go out an' hit
an iceberg Albert?
Del
I don't understand this, I
just don't know what's been
happening to me just lately!
I just do not know what's
happening. I've got more
relatives crawling out the
woodwork than Blake
Carrington, and now I'm
taking in the waifs and
strays of Europe.
Rodney
Ah, that's why we gotta help
innit? We're in the European
Community now, we've gotta
stick together!
Del
Pity her knees didn't!
Rodney
Look Del, come on, we got
room in the flat ain't we? I
mean, it's only one more
person.
Albert
Yeah, but it's one more
person who's about to become
two more persons! On the
other hand it could be twins
or triplets, or quadlets!!
Del
Yeah, he's right an' all. I
mean, she could be sitting
out there with a bellyful of
people! One hot bath and we
get chucked out for over-
crowding! No, I'm sorry
Rodney, I'm sorry. I can't
take the risk. Sorry, no!
Rodney
Alright, alright, we'll
chuck her out in the street
shall we? But you go an'
give her the good news Del!
LOUNGE.
Rodney is already in the lounge as Del and Albert enter from
the kitchen.
Del
(To Anna)
Munchengladbach! We've hit
a bit of a snag! See the
thing is, Anna, I mean at
the pacific moment in time,
we are a bit knackered for
space see.
Anna
(To Rodney)
Please?
Rodney
He says 'There is no room at
the inn!'
Del
Don't start all that Sunday
school rubbish with me
Rodney.
(To Anna but
gesturing to
Rodney)
Unt plonker, yah!
Anna
(To Rodney)
Please?
Rodney
He's calling me a... Don't
matter.
Albert
Who did the dirty deed then?
Anna
(To Rodney)
Please?
Rodney
He say, who's the father? Oi,
that's a bit personal innit?
Del
Yeah, a bit personal.
Anna
Oh, father, yes, I under-
stand. Family I work with, Mr
and Mrs Wainwright, have son,
Spencer, who is the student.
One day Spencer return from
university with degree ja?
I'm not drink but this day I
have the champagne. Then I
am spinning, ja? Then
Spencer comes to my room. He
wants to...to...what word?
Del
Oh, you mean he wants to...
Rodney
(Warning)
Del!!!!
Anna
He wants to be my friend, ja?
Albert
What, while you were still
spinning?
Anna
Ja, I am still spinning! Then
I find baby is here. I phone
Spencer and he say I must not
tell his parents he is
father. But this morning, I
am very worried and I tell
them. They say I lie, they
say I am bad person. Mr Wain-
wright say 'My inexpedient
for me to remain!'
Del
(To Rodney)
Please?
Rodney
He say 'On yer bike!'
Del
Oh! On yer bike.
Anna
Mr Wainwright, he is a...What
word?
Del
Git?
Anna
A businessman. A rich man.
He give me money for
journey home.
Albert
So why didn't you go?
Anna
I cannot go yet. My family
will see baby. This is not
good! So I wait and when
baby is born I give baby to
people.
Del
Yeah, yeah, if you think so
sweetheart, yeah. It's a
terrible world this innit
Rodney? Terrible. Look, the
best thing you can...Why
don't you chuck Anna's
things in your room for you
know - for tonight.
Rodney
Cheers mate.
Del
Anna, listen, you go with
Rodney through there and he
will show you where you can
kip tonight. Yeah.
Anna
Thank you.
Del
It's alright - here you are
girl - let me help you.
I'll take these - straight
through here. Open the door
- take that, take this as
well.
Rodney and Anna exit.
Rodney
Mind the batteries.
Del
Yeah, mind that, alright?
Goodnight now. Night.
Albert
It's a funny old world innit?
I mean, you take thousands of
couples round the world all
trying to have kids but
can't! I remember my mate
Nipper Townsend. Years and
years him and his wife
dreamed of having a kid. They
never did though!!
Del
Yeah, well you got to take so
many things into account,
ain't you? Well, the
temperature, the cycle, tight
pants, all that!
Albert
True! Course, Nipper being
stationed in Malta didn't
help! You seem to know a lot
about all this medical
malarkey!
Del
Yeah well, I get it off
Boycie and Marlene don't I?!
You know Boycie, the second-
hand car trader. Yeah, well
him and Marlene have been
trying to have a little
sprog for years but no joy.
They've had more tests you
know than the atom bomb -
still no good. I mean
they've tried to foster
and adopt, no, nothing.
Funny that eh? Funny,
they're stinking rich and
yet with all that money
they can't buy the one
thing they want most
dearly - a little baby!
Albert
Yeah, that's the way the
cookie bounces, eh?
Del nods in agreement. Then looks up. He is putting two and
two together. A scheme is being born.
Del
Yeah, I expect...
Albert
What's wrong?
Del
Eh? No, nothing, nothing. No,
I've just worked out every-
thing could work out very
very cushty!
THE FRONT OF BOYCIE'S HOUSE.
Boycie's Mercedes and the three-wheeled vanare parked in the
driveway. Duke the dog is barking. Rodney's voice can be
heard in the distance.
Rodney
Come on Duke, get stick. Come
on Dukie.
BOYCIE'S LOUNGE.
Del is seated in the armchair with a cigar and a glass of beer.
Marlene is on the settee, Boycie is standing. They are both
looking stunned.
Boycie
S...say that again Del Boy??
Del
I said, I could help you
have a baby!
Marlene
Well, what d'you mean? You're
willing to be one of them
suffragette fathers?
Del
No, no! I mean, I know where
there's a baby going!
Boycie
What - knocked off?
Del
No, no, no, it's all pukka!
You see, I know this young
German girl. She hadn't been
in our green and pleasant
land for no more than three
months when she was suddenly
taken pregnant!
Boycie
Oh that's lovely innit
Marlene? A little while from
now we could be awakened by
the pitter-patter of tiny
jackboots!
Del
Leave it out Boycie! Look,
he'd be brought up as yours
wouldn’t he. Anyway, the
father is English, you see,
the full story is Rodney met
this girl in the pub
little while ago...
Boycie
Hang about! You mean that
dipstick Rodney's the father?
Del moves towards the patio doors.
Del
No, no, no, of course he
ain't Boycie, leave it out.
What Rodney, blimey, he
don't know what it's all
about yet. Haven't you seen
the funny way he still
stirs his tea?
(Shouting from
window)
No, Rodney, get your leg out
of that dog's mouth!! I
despair of that boy - I
really do. The father is some
sort of student geezer who's
washed his hands of the whole
affair like he don't know!
Boycie
Well him and me have got a
lot in common, because I
don't wanna know either!
Marlene
We can at least talk about it
Boycie!
Boycie
Yeah, yeah, alright then
love. Just give us a couple
of minutes, will you Del.
They move away for a discussion. Rodney enters, exhausted.
Rodney
I think I've tired him out,
he's a rascal! What they
doing?
Del
It's alright, nothing.
They're just having a bit of
a chat. Go and get yourself
a little ale, and top me up
while you're over there,
alright.
Boycie
It is definitely a boy??
Del
Yep, definitely a boy!
Rodney
What's all this about?
Del
No, no, nothing, Boycie's
thinking of getting a boat
and I'm gonna get him some
equipment see.
Rodney
Oh, that sort of buoy!
Boycie
This German bird, is she
healthy?
Del
Healthy? She's Boris Becker's
cousin!
Rodney
What the bloody 'ells going
on here Del?
Del
Alright, alright Rodney! I
was gonna tell you, see
Boycie and Marlene might
have Anna's baby.
Rodney
What!!! What is this, a
raffle? Del, this is a tiny
human being we're talking
about!! This is flesh and
blood. It's Anna's child!
Del
Yes I know that Rodney, but
Anna wants it adopted, and
Boycie and Marlene want to
adopt!
Rodney
Yeah, well, if that's what
they want they can go to an
adoption society?
Marlene
No, we've tried lots of
times Rodney, but they
always turn us down.
(Indicating Boycie)
It's because of his record!
Del
Boycie did a little bit of a
stretch when he was younger
you know.
Rodney
Oh yeah! What for?
Boycie
Perjury, embezzlement,
conspiring to pervert the
course of justice, the
fraudulent conversion of
traveler’s cheques and
attempting to bribe the
Mayor of Lambeth! See, it's
any little thing with these
adoption people!
Marlene
Leave it out Boycie, with
your record I'm surprised
we're allowed to keep a dog!
Boycie
Yeah, but it's all in the
past! I mean how many times
have I gotta repay my debt
to society??
Del
Yeah, that's true. I mean,
don't a person deserve a
second chance?
Rodney
Well...Yeah, that's fair
enough.
Del
And that's what we're gonna
give this little baby! A
second chance! A chance to
live in this beautiful
house. A chance to have a
loving father and a doting
mother! And they don't come
more doting than that! I
mean, even Duke's got a
bib!
Rodney
But it's illegal!
Marlene
What, giving a little baby
love and warmth and a
chance in life is against
the law?
Rodney
I don't know, the welfare
people gonna wonder where
Anna's baby is?
Del
It's obvious innit? It's with
its mother...In Germany!!
Marlene
I think we've cracked it at
last Boycie. Well, you can
tell everybody it's our own
child! I mean, we're always
reading in the papers about
women giving birth who
didn't even know they were
pregnant.
Boycie
It might raise a few eye-
brows!
Marlene
Well yeah, but they're only
neighbours!
Boycie
I was thinking more of that
gynecologist who examined
you on Monday!
Marlene
I'll never have to see him
again, will I? Just give us a
minute Del. Come on Boycie.
Look.
They go into a huddle.
Rodney
You're gonna earn out of this
ain't yer?
Del
How dare you! That is a
terrible thing to say!! What
sort of bloke do you think I
am?? I'm doing it for Anna
and them two, but most
important of all, I'm doing
it for that little unborn
baby.
Rodney
Oh look, I'm sorry.
Del
No, don't touch me.
Rodney
I'm sorry...But you are gonna
earn out of it ain't yer?
Del
Look. That is a cruel and cal-
lous jibe.
Boycie
How much this all gonna cost?
Del
Only her airline ticket home,
and of course money for the
birth certificate and a few
quid to cover our petrol and
telephone calls...Three
grand should cover it, I
should think.
THE TROTTERS' LOUNGE.
Anna is in the armchair watching TV. Del is at the table work-
ing on a computer. He presses a few keys as if he knows what
he's doing. Albert enters from the kitchen with a cup of tea.
Albert
Tea up Del Boy!
Del
Ssssh! Can't you see I'm busy?
Del presses another button. We hear the sound of an explosion.
Del (Cont'd)
Got you, you Martian git! Let
me see, re-set...
Rodney enters from the bedroom, giving Del a withering look.
Del (Cont'd)
What's up with you?
Rodney
You know perfectly well
what's up with me! Selling a
baby. God - it's like some-
thing out of Dickens' times!
Del
Rodney listen. How many times
has Boycie tucked me up, eh?
That three grand isn't for
the baby, it's just payment
of old debts!
Albert
It's most probably for the
best son. I mean, Anna gets
her baby adopted by a loving
family.
Del
That's right. Marlene gets
the sprog she's always
wanted.
Rodney
(To Del)
And you get three grand!!!
Del
Exactly, everyone's a winner!
Rodney
Yeah, everyone, everyone
except Anna!
Del
Au contraire Rodney, au
contraire! Because as soon as
old Boycie weighs in with the
poppy I'm going straight down
the bureau de change and I'm
gonna get a few hundred
translated for her! So that
means that Anna is gonna go
straight back to the Father-
land with 300 drachma in her
bin!
Anna lets out a howl of pain. The Trotters are terrified.
Del
She's in pain!
Albert
How'd you know, you can't
speak German!
Del
This is it! This is it!
Rodney
No, no, no, it's not. Maybe
it's just indigestion!
Del
Listen to me - go in the
kitchen and get a glass of
water!
Rodney
Right!
Rodney exits to kitchen.
Albert
You ain't giving her Andrews
are you?
Del
Don't be a plonker, now phone
the hospital, get on the
blower, don't forget, call
the maternity unit!
Rodney pours a glass of water and drinks it himself.
Rodney
I'll hold the lift. I'll hold
the lift.
Del
Yes. Deep breaths!! Deep
breaths!!
Albert is fumbling with the cordless phone.
Albert
How the bloody hell do these
phones work???
Del
Right, when did you start
getting the pains darling?
Anna
They come this morning.
Del
This morning - don't worry,
don't worry because the
ambulance is gonna come any
minute and don't worry.
Just relax, everything's
gonna be cushty! How are
you getting on?
Anna
Del.
Del
It's alright darling.
Anna
Danke.
Del
That's alright. Vorsprung
durch Technik!
Anna cries out in pain.
Del (Cont'd)
Oooh don't.
THE TROTTERS' LOUNGE. A WEEK LATER.
Boycie is seated nervously on the sofa. Marlene paces the floor.
Del pours himself a drink.
Del
Sit down Marlene, you're
doing the Wilton up!
Boycie
Sit down Marlene!!!!
Marlene sits.
Marlene
The baby's alright, ain't he
Del?
Del
Yes, yes, Marlene, for the
umpteenth time. You're gonna
have a beautiful bouncing
baby!
Marlene
What's he weigh?
Del
Dunno, he ain't stopped
bouncing yet! Ain't stopped
bouncing!
Del laughs. Boycie and Marlene do not.
Del (Cont'd)
I don't know, seven pound
something!
Marlene
We've decided to call him
Mark!
Del
That's handy, 'cos his Dad's
name was Spencer!
The front door opens.
Rodney
Del.
Del
They're here, they're back.
Here they are now! Just take
it easy. Don't panic,
alright? Calm down.
Del exits to the hall.
HALL.
Del
Everything alright Rodders?
Rodney
No, everything is not bloody
alright!
Del
Sssshh! Boycie and Marlene
are here.
Rodney
Oh, are they here already?
Have you told them about
their little boy?
Del
What about him?
Rodney
About him being a little girl.
Del
No, no, I haven't broken the
news yet! How could that Anna
do it to me? After all I've
done for her! So what's wrong
then?
Rodney
Well for one, Anna has fallen
in love with her baby! But
the most important thing...
Del
She's done what? Oh no, she
can't do that to me. No she
can't do - a deal's a deal!
I'll sort it out.
Rodney
No you've got to listen...
Anna enters with Albert.
Del
Get in - alright Albert?
Alright, I'll sort it out.
Here she is. Hello sweetheart,
how you feeling?
Anna
Oh, I am fine thank you.
Del
Oh good.
Anna
I think maybe things are not
cushty! I think maybe now I
keep baby.
Del
No, no, no. You can't do
that darling - no, no, no.
Because you know, we'll have
the VAT people round here.
Come in, come in and I'll
explain everything. Go on,
go in there. Go on, in you
go.
LOUNGE.
Del
Put the baby down there.
First of all these are the
very nice people who are
gonna buy...erm, erm, who
are gonna look after your
baby. There we are.
Boycie
Someone upset her?
Del
No, no, no. She's just got
like baby blues that's all...
Just a minute Boycie, I'm
gonna have to come clean, you
see the thing is, it's about
your little boy - he ain't.
Marlene
Ain't what?
Del
Well, ain't a little baby
boy.
Boycie
What is it then?
Del
A baby girl innit, eh?
Boycie
A girl? But you said she'd
had a scan.
Del
I know what I told you,
alright Boycie. I know I told
you it was gonna be a boy but
it ain't. Just keep your
money the deal's off right.
Marlene
I don't care if it's a boy, a
girl or twins! It's a baby.
Boycie
Alright Marlene, we'll take
it. It's amazing innit?
Everything you buy off him's
got something missing!
Marlene moves towards the cot.
Del
(To Albert)
Alright, don't look at me
like that. What else could I
do?
Albert
No good asking me son. I
ain't never flogged a baby
before.
Del
Rodney, you know I was doing
it for Anna weren't I? I was
only tryin' help.
Rodney
What do you want, applause??
Del
Alright sorry Boycie, sorry
mate. Listen the deal's off,
it's off alright.
Boycie has now moved towards the cot.
Boycie
Is that right Del? The deal's
off is it? Too bleedin right
it's off.
Del
What are you talking about?
What?! How?!
Rodney
That's the other thing I
meant to tell you out there.
You see Spencer's mummy and
daddy came over in 1956
from the West Indies.
Marlene
Well it don't bother me
Boyce.
Boycie
Leave off Marlene. The baby's
brown.
Marlene
So is Duke.
Boycie
But I ain't claiming to be
Duke's father.
Albert
There is a likeness though.
Boycie
Just shut it.
Marlene
We could say it's a throw-
back.
Boycie
For Gawd's sake Marlene. I
might be able to con people
into buying cars. I might
be able to convince 'em
that you conceived and gave
birth in seven days flat,
but how the hell am I gonna
persuade 'em that my
grandad was Louis
Armstrong!! You ain't
heard the last of this Del
Boy!
Boycie exits.
Marlene
I s'pose he's right, eh Del?
Del
Yeah, yeah, you know it
makes sense darling eh.
Marlene
Still, it was a nice little
dream while it lasted, eh?
I'm gonna turn round now,
I'm gonna walk out that door
...and I ain't gonna look
back.
Del
No, of course not.
Marlene exits maternally. Anna starts crying, then the baby.
Del (Cont'd)
Gawd, women. Ssh Anna. Anna
come out here, your baby's
hungry. Quiet, quiet, your
mummy's coming, yes she is.
(To Baby)
Ain't you got bright eyes,
eh? Look at that. She's
gonna be a blinder when she
gets older, eh? Yes you is.
(Tickling Baby)
Coocky coochy coo! Coochy
coochy coo...urgh!
'Ere, these pages are for lack of education purposes
only. If you decide to five-finger discount any of these
pages for your own hooky sites, at least try an' give us
a mention, will yer?'
Bonjour. Derek Trotter
President (T.I.T.)
Only Fools And Horses ™
& © The British Broadcasting Corporation (B.B.C). All Rights Reserved.
© 2002 This page owned and maintained by Maverick Scripts. Virginia. U.S.A.