Only Fools And Horses


THE TROTTERS' LOUNGE. Del is brushing his hair in the mirror. He wears white slacks, white loafers, a brown leather bomber and all the gold. Rodney, wearing his usual 'Man from Oxfam' clothes, enters from the bedroom area. Rodney Yeah, well, you try and have a nice kip, eh? His legs are still playing him up. Del Well, I told him not to run in the London Marathon? Rodney Anyway, he's not coming to the tenants' meeting with us. You're still coming ain't yer? Rodney sits at the table and begins writing in a note- book. Del Eh? No way bruv, I'm going out with that little waitress that I blagged from the Pizza Palace. Rodney Eh? How did you manage to pull her? Del Well, I read somewhere that woman were turned on by men in situations of power. So I told her I was a Euro Minister. Rodney And she believed you? Del Oh yeah. Rodney She must be thicker than them pizzas she dishes out. Del Oi, don't get sardonic. (Referring to Rodney's notepad) Here what's all this about anyway? Rodney I'm writing out a list of questions I want to ask at the meeting. Del Oh yeah, like why the lifts are still out of action in our block? Rodney No, more important things than that, Del. Del Oh yeah. Rodney I mean, in the last year or so we've had a crime explosion on this estate, yeah, and yet the police don't come near or by. And I want to know the reason. Del Well, they can't get on the estate, can they? The natives won't let 'em. Rodney Come on, that is rubbish. Del No, no, it ain't. Look, last month a copper came round just to return a lost dog and we had three nights of rioting. Rodney Look, I don't care what their excuses are, I'm gonna demand more police patrols on this estate. Del Not too many Rodney. Rodney Come here, I'm writing out this catalogue of crime, see what the Chairman's got to say about that. Del Catalogue, let's see. Some catalogue innit - look. (Reads) 'May the sixth. Grandad's shopping trolley stolen from the pram sheds.' Rodney Yeah, well that's the only one I can think of. Del Gordon Bennett. There are 2,000 stories in the Naked City and this plonker is looking for a basket on wheels. Rodney Look, I've heard of other crimes, but I don't know the times and the dates and what 'ave yer. I've got to provide details, not rumours. Del Well, why don't you tell them what happened to poor Rita Alldridge then? Rodney Yes, good idea. (Is about to write) What happened to Rita Alldridge then? Del Last Friday night she was indecently assaulted over by the adventure playground. Rodney No, did she report it? Del Yeah, I saw her this morning, she'd just been down the police station. Rodney (Busy writing) Right, there you are you see, that's exactly the sort of thing...Hang on a minute - if this happened on Friday night, how come it's taken her till Wednesday to report it? Del Because she didn't know she'd been indecently assaulted until this morning when the bloke's cheque bounced. Rodney Oh. Rodney rips the page from the pad and hurls it to the floor. THE COMMUNITY HALL. On the stage is a large committee table. Only one member of the committee has turned up, this is Baz, the Chairman. Baz wishes he wasn't there. He has a constant cigarette dangling from his lips and coughs a lot. In the main part of the hall there are 50 or so chairs. Rodney sits alone in the front row. Baz is writing something in the minutes book and coughing. On the table in front of him is a "No Smoking' sign. Rodney, bored with waiting for the meeting to start and irritate with coughing, attract Baz's attention. Baz looks up and points to the 'No Smoking' sign. Baz raises a finger of thanks and then turns the sign face down. He continues writing and coughing. The main door opens and Trigger enters. Trigger (Calls from the back of the hall) How you going Dave? Rodney Oh. Alright Trigger. Trigger No Del Boy? Rodney No, he's out. Trigger How's your grandad, I heard his legs were playing him up! Rodney Yeah, well, it's most probably a touch of fibrositis, you know. Trigger Yeah, more than like...that's how my nan started off. Did you ever meet my nan? Rodney Well, only at her funeral! Trigger That's right, you were at her funeral weren't you Dave? Rodney Trigger - why d'you call me Dave? My name's not Dave - my name's Rodney. Trigger I thought it was Dave! Rodney No, it's Rodney. Trigger You sure? Rodney Yeah, I'm positive. I've looked it up on me birth certificate and passport and everything! It is definitely Rodney! Trigger Oh well, you live 'n' learn - so what's Dave, a nickname like? Rodney No. You're the only one who calls me Dave. Everybody else calls me Rodney, and the reason they call me Rodney is because Rodney is my name. Trigger Oh well, I shall have to get used to calling you Rodney! Rodney Thank you. Trigger (Calling to the Chairman) Here Basil. You gonna get this meeting started?? Me and Dave ain't got all night! Rodney Rodney. Trigger Oh yeah. Baz I can't start the meeting until the Vice Chairman's in attendance. It's in our constitution! Rodney Well how long's he gonna be? Baz Could be a hell of a long time son - he died a fortnight ago! Rodney Died? Well, what was the point in calling the meeting? Baz I was hoping - if we'd had a bigger turn-out - to elect a new Vice Chairman from the floor. Trigger You need a new Vice Chairman? Well, if it'll help you out any Baz, I nominate Rodney! Rodney What? Baz Right, seconded! Rodney Now hang on a minute! Baz All those in favour? Baz and Trigger raise their hands. Baz (cont'd) Against? Rodney raises his hand. Baz (cont'd) Nomination accepted. Welcome aboard, son! Rodney But I didn't wanna be Vice Chairman! Trigger I thought you was interested in all that political malarky? Rodney Well, yeah, I am, but I don't want this job! Trigger Oh well, I suppose Del Boy was right all along. Rodney What d'you mean? Trigger Well, he always said you were too immature to accept responsibility. Rodney Oh did he? Well, we'll have to see about that then, won't we? Where do I sit Baz? Baz Eh - oh, next to me, son - right then, I declare this meeting open. Now, the first item on the agenda is my resignation! Baz pushes the 'Chairman' name-plate across to Rodney. Baz (cont'd) You're the new Chairman, congratulations son. You going down there, Trigger? Trigger Yeah, I'll have a quick one with you Baz. Rodney Oi, what about the meeting? Baz Well, you'll have to close it won't you? You ain't got a Vice Chairman! Rodney Oh yeah - well, um, meeting closed! Baz He done that well didn't he? Trigger He's a natural See you, Dave. Rodney is seated alone at the committee table, still stunned by the speed of events. He now allows himself a little mile of pleasure. The feeling of power is starting to grow. He leans back in his chair and puts his feet up on the table. He is becoming almost smug about his new position of importance within the community. He remains like this for a few seconds before leaning back on his chair just a little too far. He tumbles backwards off it and out of sight. THE MARKET. Del, in his market clothes plus sunglasses and cap, is selling oranges form a couple of crates which stand on the fold-away table. Del Oranges, they're lovely, three for 25p. See? Suck one of these a day, you'll never catch scurvy. There you go, three darlin. God bless you, luv. Look after yourself. Come on girls - the finest Spanish oranges, just in from Seville! Old Lady They're fresh then? Del Fresh? Fresh? They were playing castanets this morning my love. There you go...take that one for luck.. Old Lady Thank you very much. Rodney enters wearing his suit and tie. Del God bless you my luv. Don't swallow the pips will you?! (To Rodney) Where the ruddy hell have you been, eh? Rodney You know where I've been. I told you I had to go down to the Town Hall. Del Oh did you, yeah. Well, of course, I got a bit involved myself here you know, with silly little things like trying to organise us some profit! A kid swipes an orange. Del (cont'd) Oi, you little git! Del picks up another orange and hurls it after him. Del turns to Rodney. There is the sound of china smashing. Neither of them notice. Del (cont'd) You wanna get your priorities sorted out, my son. You want to make your mind up whether you want to be Chairman of the Tenant's Association or you wanna work this pitch, right? Rodney No, no, 'cos I had to go down and introduce myself to Miss Mackenzie. Del Who's Miss Mackenzie? Rodney She's in charge of the housing and welfare down the Town Hall, she's a very important lady. And she was very impressed with me. Del Oh well, she would be, wouldn't she? I mean, it's the suit innit, eh? Rodney Well, yeah. Del (To Customer) What d'you want, three? God bless darling. Rodney She's very intelligent actually. We got really well. Del Yeah well, they do say opposites attract don't they, eh? Come on you, get these crates sorted out, will you? Rodney What? Oh come on, Del. I mean, don't you think it's gonna be a little bit demanding for the Chairman of the Tenant's Association to be seen 'umping dirty old crates around a market? Del D'you want any wages tomorrow Rodney Where shall I put 'em? Del Don't tempt me Rodney, don't temp me! Grandad enters struggling through the crowds with two heavy bags of groceries. He passes a china stall where an orange is lying on the stall among a pile of broken china. The two owners are discussing this strange event. One of them is looking up to see if the orange could have been thrown from a window. Grandad Alright, Del Boy? Del Hello Grandad, what you doing here, eh? Grandad I've just been gettin some- thing in for dinner. Rodney What have I got, Grandad? Grandad Er - d'you like haddock pie, Del? Del No I don't! Grandad You've got haddock pie, Rodney! Rodney Triffic...How's yer legs? Grandad Still hurting. Del I've told you, told you what they are, they're growing pains. Rodney Look, if you wanna hang on I'll give you a lift back in the van. Grandad No, that's alright Rodney, I'll try 'n' walk it off. See you later. Grandad limps away. Del Yeah, see you! A rather miserable old woman is pawing the oranges. Old Woman Has he got pineapples? Rodney No, it's just rheumatism. Oh. No, no, sorry, no! Del No, we ain't got any pine- apples luv, you see. No, it's this weather we've been having, you know, you can't get the people to go out and pick 'em! Never mind, look, I've got some nice pineapple- tasting oranges here. No, I got them in special today, I knew you was coming in. They come from Seville. There's three for 25p... THE TROTTERS' LOUNGE. The room appears to be empty. There is the sound of the front door opening. Rodney And then after that, right, me and Miss Mackenzie were thinking of forming a Police and Local Community Action Committee. Del You wanna get them pigging lifts fixed first! Rodney No, that's alright, that's all in hand. Rodney sees the two bags of groceries. Rodney (cont'd) Oh look at this! He ain't even put the shopping aw... Del The lazy git, I'm gonna sack him one of these days I will! Hang about. Rodney is frozen to the spot. Rodney Del!! Grandad is lying on the floor in the space between the TVs and the armchairs. Del Oh my Gawd. Grandad, Grandad! Rodney What's the matter with him? Del How the hell do I know? Rodney Del, the brandy! Del Yeah, yeah. Del moves to the drinks area. He picks up a bottle of brandy and holds it up to the light. Del (cont'd) No, he ain't been at this! Rodney I meant pour him some...Shall I give him the kiss of life? Grandad I ain't that bad, Rodney!! Rodney Thank God for that, you're live! I mean awake. Grandad I just got up to switch over to 'Crossroads.' Del And what happened? Grandad I don't know Del Boy, I didnít see the end of it! Rodney No, he actually meant what happened to you? Grandad I just came over bad, Rodney - me legs give way. Them stairs'll be the death of me. Del Yeah, come on, come on, get him into bed. Come on Grandad. Come on, that's it, get up. Del and Rodney help Grandad to his feet. Del (cont'd) Look, I'll put him to bed, you phone for the doctor, Rodney. Rodney Right. Grandad No need to call the doctor Del Boy, I' be alright. Del Now just shut up, it's nothing to do with you. Rodney (On phone) Oh good evening. Could you put me through to Dr Becker please ...Yes it is an emergency. Hello, Dr Becker, look, sorry to bother you but it's my grandad, he's not very well. Yeah, yeah, my name is Trotter, we live on...Oh you remember... Has what cleared up? No, I've never had anything like that. No, no, you must be getting me mixed up with somebody else. Del Well, is he coming round? Rodney Could you come round straight away please? You're going out to dinner? Del Tell him he can have inner here! Rodney Yeah, you could have dinner here... (To Del) He can have my haddock pie! Del Your haddock pie? Give us that will you. (Takes Receiver) Hello Doctor, my name is Del Trotter, now you don't know me but we've got a mutual friend. Her name is Rita Alldridge! That's right! And I happen to talk to your good lay wife every day in the market! Right! (Putting phone down) He's on his way round. THE TROTTERS' LOUNGE. The doctor enters from Grandad's bedroom and crosses the room. Doctor I want you to make sure that he gets plenty of sleep and lots of fresh air. Rodney Yeah, we could put his bed on the balcony! Del Fresh air? Fresh air. Haven't you noticed all the jugger- nauts and buses smoking their way past this place? The only fresh air my grandad gets is when he's listening to 'The Archers.' Doctor Well, there isn't very much I can do about the pollution problem. Del No, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry doctor. What about his legs? Doctor Oh, don't worry, he's got legs like Nijinsky. Del Nijinsky's a racehorse! Rodney No, Del, he means Nijinsky, the Russian ballet dancer. Doctor No I don't. Rodney Oh, um, well, what's - what's the matter with him, Doctor? Doctor Exhaustion. 12 flights of stairs is difficult enough for a young man, let alone someone of your grandad's age. Now what he needs is ground-floor accommodation. Have you seen any of those new council bungalows in Herrington Road? Del Oh yeah, them. They're lovely ain't they. They've got three bedrooms, little garden, right opposite the park. till what chance do we stand? I mean, you need to have nine kids and speak with a foreign accent to get one of them. Doctor If you think it would do any good I could write a letter to the council recommending you be moved. Del You did that for my Mum back in 1962 and they moved us here. Rodney I'll put the shopping away. Rodney exits to kitchen. Doctor The only thing that could hold a lot of sway with the councilís housing department would be support from the Chairman of the Tenant's Association. Now who is the Chairman of the Association these days? Rodney It's me. Del Alright, alright, good boy. Rodney What? Del Nothing, good boy. GRANDAD'S BEDROOM. Just a sidelight burns. Grandad, propped up by pillows and still wearing his hat, is asleep. Del is seated next to the bed. Rodney enters with a bag. Del gives him a look of contempt. Rodney I didn't know you were in here. You keeping a vigil? Del No, I'm just sitting here with Grandad. (Referring to bag) What you got there? Rodney Oh, it's just some fruit. Del What you get? (Looking) Got him some grapes have you? Rodney No, they're oranges. Del Oranges - oranges? Rodney Well, I couldn't think of what else to get him...Look, Del, you know I'd like to help. Del I've got nothing further to say on the subject. Here you are Grandad, have a suck of that - go on. How you could do this to your own flesh and blood, I've got no idea. Rodney Look, what's Miss Mackenzie gonna think? I mean, I've only been Chairman of the Association for two days and already I'm into her for a new bungalow. Del I'm not concerned with what - I'm not concerned with what Miss Mackenzie thinks. I'm only concerned with Grandad. I mean, look at him. His brain went years ago. Now his legs have gone. There's only the middle bit of him left. Rodney We could take him to Lourdes? Del Lord's. Lord's. But he don't even like cricket. Rodney I meant the Lourdes in France. Del Lourdes in France, no, no, that's no good. I men, what you gain on the miracle cures you'd lose on the sea- sickness on the way home. Grandad Still here, Del Boy? Del Yes, I'm here Grandad, it's alright, don't worry. Look Rodney's brought you some oranges. I'll put 'em over there shall I, with the other 3,000? Grandad You're a good boy, Rodney. You've always looked after your old Grandad... He tries to reach beneath his pillow but is too weak. Grandad (cont'd) Rodney, put your hand under my pillow. Rodney Yeah, okay. (Suddenly stops) Why, what's under there? Grandad It's just something what was left to me by my grandad. Rodney pulls out an old, silver cigarette case, badly dented. Rodney What is it? Grandad It's my grandad's old cigarette case. He carried that with him right throughout the Boer War. That's a bit of history you're holding, not like them Nelson's eyepatches Del Boy flogs to the tourists. Rodney What's this big dent? Grandad There's a story behind that Rodney. See, one night my grandad was on sentry duty, standing out there alone in the middle of Africa. And suddenly a sniper fired at him. The bullet was aiming straight for my grandad's heart, but he had that cigarette case in his breast pocket and the bullet hit that instead. Rodney Jeez. It saved his life? Grandad Well, not really. See, the bullet ricocheted up his nose and blew his brains out! I want you to have it, Rodney. Rodney What? Grandad My gran always said it were lucky. Rodney Grandad, it made the bullet ricochet up his nose and blow his brains off. Del Yeah, well, it could have ricocheted downwards and ruined his entire life! Grandad And do you know here he died, Rodney? Fighting the Zulus at the Battle of Rorks's Drift. Rodney No. Was he actually there? Oh Cosmic! (Puzzled) I always thought it was Welsh. Del No, no, it was definitely the Zulus, I saw the film. Grandad You keep that with you always, Rodney. It'll be something to remember me by. Rodney Now you don't talk like that, Grandad. Del It's alright Grandad, it's alright. He'll remember what he done to you. I'll see to that, don't you worry! Grandad Oh don't keep on at him, Del. He's doing what he thinks is best. Besides, I might not have liked living on the ground. I've always been up in the air somewhere...I think I would have liked the garden though. I could have gown some flowers. I've never ever had a garden. Still what you've never had you never miss, eh Del Boy? Del That's right Grandad. That's right. Rodney, where you going? Rodney I'm gonna phone Miss Mackenzie about that bungalow. Del That's a good boy Rodney, good boy. You know it makes sense ...Welcome back, you're one of the family again! Rodney exits. Grandad Del Boy. I'd like to be cremated. Del Well, you'll have to wait till morning 'cos they'll be closed now. THE TROTTERS' LOUNGE. The following evening. A coat is draped over an armchair. On the table is an open briefcase and lots of paperwork. Del enters through the hall door. Del (Calls) Oi, cor, Rodney. Come on, look, clear this place up, that old biddy from the council'll be here any minute. Rodney enters from the bedroom area. Rodney Del, I'd like you to meet Miss Mackenzie. Miss Mackenzie enters. She is in her early thirties, very attractive and smartly dressed. The complete opposite to how Del imagined her. Miss Mac Good evening. Del Entende, I'm sure. (Kisses her hand) Please do sit down. She sits down. Del (cont'd) Miss Mackenzie. Can I get you a drink? Tea, coffee, Pina Colada? Miss Mac No thank you, that's very kind of you, Mr Trotter. Del Mais oui, mais oui, Derek please. Miss Mac Derek - I've just been in to see your grandfather. He's a very interesting man, he was telling me how his own grand- father had died at the Battle of Rorke's Drift. Del Well, no, he wasn't actually at Rourke's Drift itself. What he was doing, see, he camped in a little field behind, and one night he went over to the Zulus to complain about the noise. Del laughs, Miss Mac, who doesn't have much of a sense of humour, looks bewildered. Del (cont'd) Was - has it always been your ambition to work for the council, Miss Mackenzie? Miss Mac Please call me Margaret. Del Margaret, Margaret, do you know, that is my most favourite name. Miss Mac Thank you. Actually, when I left school I wanted to be a choreographer. Del Really? What a coincidence 'cos I always wanted to into the medical profession meself. Rodney A choreographer, Del, it means she wanted to teach dance. Del Oh yeah, course, that sort of choreographer, yeah. Are you interested in dancing then, Margaret? Miss Mac Well, I was a student of dance for two years. Del Was you really, amazing, so was I. Miss Mac Really? I was at the London School of Dance, Knights- bridge. Rodney Del was at the Arthur Murray School, Lewisham. Del Thank you Rodney. Rodney, why don't you go into the kitchen and stick your head in the food blender. Well, do you like ballet, Margaret? Miss Mac Oh yes, very much. Del So do I. Triffic innit? What about that Nijinsky then, eh? Miss Mac Nijinsky? Del Fabulous dancer, eh? Well, for a Soviet. Miss Mac Yes. I suppose so. Del I'm a great fan. Miss Mac Of Nijinsky's? Del Yeah, actually I was thinking of getting a couple of tickets, you know, for one of the shows. Miss Mac Derek - Nijinsky died in 1950. Del Did she? Miss Mac She? Nijinsky was a man. Del Oh yes, yeah, of course he was. Sorry, sorry, I always get him mixed up Rodney Arkle. Del Yeah, Arkle. Miss Mac Well, that seems to be about it. I think I have all the information I need. Rodney How long will we have to wait until we know if our application's been accepted? Miss Mac You can know right now, Rodney. I've just signed it. Rodney You mean we've got the bungalow? Miss Mac Of course. Here's your new rent book and all the necessary paperwork. Rodney I don't believe it. Are you sure you don't want to double- check nothing? Del That won't be necessary Rodney. Margaret knows what she's doing. Rodney I don't know what to say. Del Well, just say thank you to the nice lady. Miss Mac Really there's no need, I'm only too pleased to help. Many people get themselves voted on to Tenants Committee's purely for their own ends. But Rodney's different. He cares. Del Oh he does, he cares. He's a diamond, he really is. Miss Mac Well, I hope you'll be very happy in your new home. I'll see you at our next committee meeting then? Rodney Yes, yes of course. And thanks again - I can't wait to tell Grandad. Well, I suppose we better... Del No, I'll see Margaret out, Rodney. Excuse me. There you go. Don't drink it. THE HALL. Miss Mac Well, let's just say I applied some rather liberal interpreta- tions to our rules. Del Yeah, well, if only there was some way that I could show my appreciation. But mon dieu - mon dieu - why don't I take you out for a celebratory drink? Miss Mac Oh that's very nice of you, but I've got a lot of paper- work to finish. Del Okay, well some other time maybe then? Miss Mac Yes. Well, goodbye. Del No, not goodbye, Margaret, just bonjour. THE LOUNGE. Del enters the room. Rodney Well, we've done it. Now that is the power of being a Chairman, Del. Del Leave it out. It was my chat what did it. Rodney Oh yeah, your chat, yeah. 'A choreographer. Of course, I've always wanted to be in the medical profession meself.' Del Oi, cut that out will you? The door to the bedroom area opens and Grandad enters. Grandad Have we got it, Del? Del Yeah, of course, we've got it, Grandad. Look, we move in next week. Del and Grandad (Singing and dancing) 'My old man said follow the van, and don't dilly-dally on the way.' Hang on, I'll get you a beer, Grandad. (Singing) 'Off went the van with the whole...' Rodney (Was stunned, but now angry) We feeling a little better are we, Grandad? Grandad I'm feeling on top of the world Rodney. Rodney You know, I thought as much. Because five minutes ago you couldn't wiggle your toes and now you're doing an audition for the Hot Shoe Show. You pair have really stitched me up ain't yer? And not just me - Dr Becker and Miss Mackenzie as well. Del Oh shut up you tart. We couldn't let you in on our little plan could we, 'cos, well, to put it politely, you're full of principle, aren't you? Here you are Grandad. Grandad How else could we have done it, Rodney? We've got our- selves a beautiful new home, a bit of garden, a garage and no stairs. Rodney Grandad the point is that is ...I suppose them stairs were a bit much for you. And I can hardly blame Del for the lifts breaking down. Del looks away. Rodney You mean you even went to the - right, come here you. The front door bell rings. Del I'll just get the door, Rodders. Del exits to the hall. THE HALL. Del Oh hello, Margaret. Did you forget something? Miss Mac Only my manners I'm sorry to say. I've just realised that you, quite naturally, would like to celebrate your new home. But as Rodney would have to stay in with Grandad you have no one to go with. So if you're invitation is still open? Del Oh well, of course it is. If you'd just like to hang on one moment. Miss Mac I mustn't have too much to drink though - it goes straight to my head. Del Does sit really? I'll have to keep a close eye on you then won't I? Del opens the door to the lounge and calls in. Del (cont'd) Oi, listen, I'm off out. I don't know what time I'm going to be back so don't put the Chubb on, right. (To Miss Mac) Listen what I thought we might do is slip down the Nag's Head for a couple of halves and then we could go to this - well - go on to this spick drinking club I know over at New Cross. Miss Mac I don't want to be out too late. Del Don't worry we'll get you back in your flat before three. The lounge door opens and Grandad with a glass of brandy and a large cigar in one hand, Del's scarf in the other, appears. Grandad Here are Del, don't forget your scarf, it's freez...Ooh my good Gawd. Miss Mac Well, hello again. (To Del) He seems to be over the worst. Del Yeah, well, you know, it comes - and goes. Miss Mac So it would appear. Del (Out of the corner of is mouth) Collapse. Grandad What? Del Collapse! Miss Mac I shouldn't bother, you might do yourself an injury. Rodney appears at the door. Rodney Oi, you're gonna need the keys. Miss Mac I am disgusted with the lot of you. But especially with Rodney. I believed you. Rodney I believed me. Miss Mac I assume you'll be resigning, Mr Chairman? Rodney First thing in the morning, yeah. Miss Mac And I'll tell you what I'm going to do in the morning. I'm going to do you all yet another favour. I'm going to save you the inconvenience of moving. Goodnight to you all. Del Margaret. Miss Mac What? Del We still on for that drink?

                                'Ere, these pages are for lack of education purposes 
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                                 pages for your own hooky sites, at least try an' give us 
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                                                                   Bonjour. Derek Trotter 
                                                                       President (T.I.T.)


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